Wedding talk for «Names»,
«Date of wedding»
I don't know who your role
models are in life. If, like a lot of
people you look to Hollywood stars for your inspiration, then perhaps you could
consider the actress Angelina Jolie and her husband Billy Bob Thornton who last
week were interviewed in the Sunday Times about their marriage. It seems, said the article, that they are
ideally suited for each other. They
share a love of llamas (they plan to set up a farm in Missouri), and they share
a strange taste in furniture. The
couple recently took possession of an electric chair for their house in
LA. "We're going to put it in the
dining room, with a joke cushion. If we
have a real boring guest, we'll sit them there." But above all, the article says, they both love a grand
gesture. Recently, for example, the
couple swapped phials of blood to prove their love. "Independently of each other, we had a nurse draw blood
under medical conditions, as a present.
Neither of us knew of the other's intentions. I've now signed a piece of paper in her blood, saying that I
could never leave her for all of eternity."
Well, I don't know how
touched you are by that «Names». I
suppose if you are inspired you can always nip in to the vet's surgery for a
couple of syringes! The interesting
side to this story for us is that Angelina is in fact Billy Bob's fifth
wife. "I don't know why I've
married so often," he says ruefully.
"It's not like I had to. I
feel like the boy who cried wolf. I
said too many I love yous to too many women."
Well, I'm not sure Billy Bob
inspires me with too much confidence about the Hollywood approach to marriage,
blood or no blood. In fact, if we are
honest, with the role models we have, it's not surprising that marriage gets a
difficult press these days. Two men are
talking. One says to the other, "I got this poodle for my wife." The
other replies: "Sure wish I could
trade mine in for something like that."
You know, several people are down on marriage. Cher said, "The trouble with some women is that they get all
excited about nothing-and then they marry him." Someone else said, "A man is not complete until he is
married, and then he is finished."
Well, while it's true that
marriage does need working at, we are here with «Names» because we believe love
has the final word in who we are as human beings. Love is the most important thing, and when two people get
together and stand up and tell the world that they are going to love each other
through thick and thin, then that is the most wonderful reminder to all of us
about what makes our lives worthwhile.
But where do they go from
today? What will help them to
grow. Well, I think they already have
several of the elements in place. «Groom» said that he knew «Bride» was the one from day one. "She is very feisty," he told
me. But more importantly they have both
said that for them this is a new start, and that once they have committed
that's it. That's sounds like a pretty
good recipe to me. And in the
decisions about career and the priorities of their lives that they have already
taken, I think we can see that they mean to live it out.
So for you, «Names», love is
making sure they are giving all of your lives, and not just part of them - and
that is a courageous step to take.because in the things you will say here today
you have taken the biggest step you will ever be able to take in fulfilling
Jesus' command to love your neighbour as yourself. You can't get any closer to doing such an amazing thing in any
other way. You are brave because in
getting married you are actually trying to do what God does-loving somebody no
matter what for the whole of your life.
But I also have to say that
while this is brave it is also the most crazy and stupid act anybody could
contemplate. How can anyone really say
that they will love someone twenty years from now or 30 years from now. It's one thing to say, "I'll meet you
after football at eight o'clock."
It's quite another thing to say, "I'll love you no matter what the
ravages of life do to you. I'll love
you whether you grow fat, or ugly, or poor or even whether you do good or
bad." Most rational people approach
marriage with the idea that really they have no idea about what they are doing. And you heard the reading. Love is patient, love is kind, love never
gives up, love is not irritable. Can
you love like that? Could I say «Groom»
is patient, «Groom» is kind, «Groom» is not irritable? Or «Bride» is never resentful, «Bride» does
not insist on her own way?
But before you get
downhearted, I want you to know that in your marriage you don't have to worry
because there is a role model you can follow who will never disappoint
you. If we are looking for a teacher on
love, I know who I would choose.
There’s a lot of rubbish you can read in magazines about love, which
wastes our time. I would want to learn
from someone who knew both sides of love - both the pain and the joy, and had
proved it. It would be someone who
could tell the truth about it from the heart.
He wouldn't be like the husband whose wife bought a new line of
expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy
sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asked,
"Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Mickey replied,
“Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty
five." "Oh, you
flatterer!" she gushed. "Hey,
wait a minute!" Mickey interrupted. "I haven't added them up
yet."
The path of love can be
tough - it can demand everything. So we
don't need someone to tell us half-truths about how to love. We need the whole truth. And my role model for that is Jesus. I think Jesus is a fantastic role model for
anyone, no matter what you believe he really is. He was great to have at a picnic - especially if you ran out of
food, and he was even better to have at a wedding - especially if you ran out
of wine. Jesus is the one who, like
Billy Bob, has written his love for you in blood. Except there is one crucial difference: for Jesus the commitment
of love is total, even at the cost of his life. Because the fundamental thing Jesus taught us about love is that
it's all about being willing to forgive.
That's what his death showed. A
couple married for 15 years began having more than usual disagreements. They
wanted to make their marriage work and agreed on an idea the wife had. For one
month they planned to drop a slip in a "Fault" box. The boxes would
provide a place to let the other know about daily irritations. The wife was
diligent in her efforts and approach: "leaving the jelly top off the
jar," "wet towels on the shower floor," "dirty socks not in
hamper," on and on until the end of the month. After dinner, at the end of
the month, they exchanged boxes. The husband reflected on what he had done
wrong. Then the wife opened her box and began reading. They were all the same,
the message on each slip was, "I love you!" You can never say too many I love yous, to the same person, for
the rest of your life.
But the other more
fundamental reason you can have confidence about the future is this: Today you have made vows, you
have stood up in front of everyone. But
we have said that it is God who has joined you together, and he will
keep you in your love. Because while we
are not always patient, or always kind, or always faithful, the God who joined
you together today is all those things, all the time.
And so as you make your vows
before God, who is the love that all our marriages are a pale reflection
of, today make him the foundation of
who you are together, and the role model for love. And you will find that the crazy act of love which you are
committing yourselves to today can be a triumphant song which will fill your
lives and the lives of those around you, and reveal your true colours to each
other and the world.