Examen
In these two stories we see the power of Jesus dealing with difficulty and evil that besets us from without-the storm which arose suddenly. The words used to describe it are “like an earthquake”, with waves so high the boat could no longer be seen. Perhaps you come here like this, perhaps we are feeling like this as a church. We think, “Where are you God?”
But we also see him dealing with
the difficulties that beset us from within-whatever we think of the realm of
the demonic as the people of Jesus’ day believed it, we can probably identify
with times in our lives when certain internal struggles have dominated us, and
refused to let us go.
When crises hit us individually or
as a church, it is sometimes all too easy to say flippantly, “Well, Christ is
with us in the storm”, or “Christ can deal with the agony you are facing”. When someone says this to me, it offers me a
certain level of intellectual comfort-the idea that God is with me is
important. But what I really need to
learn to do is to see him at work, to see where he is in the middle of the
storm, to see him dealing with the demons that I battle with. I want to feel his Spirit, I don’t just want
my ideas changed. I don't want the
comfort of words about his presence, I want to know the touch of his
presence.
The reality is that it was the
disciples who had to wake Jesus up.
It was the demoniacs who came to Jesus, half afraid of what he
would do, but seeking him nevertheless.
So today I thought I would share with you a method of prayer which I am
only an apprentice in. But it's a
method in which we can learn to see Jesus at work in our lives. In the middle of the storm, it's a method
which helps us to wake him up as it were, or when we are battling with our
demons it's something that helps us to bring him face to face with them.
It was developed by Ignatius of
Loyola. First a little background about
Ignatius. He was born in 1491, brought
up as a gentleman soldier. He took part
in a battle against the French at Pamplona, but was severely wounded when a
cannonball shattered his right leg, and when the French won they carried him on
a painful journey through the mountains to his home at the castle of
Loyola. Unfortunately the bones in his
leg had been wrongly set and so he had to undergo a painful operation with a
long and weary convalescence. The only
books which were available to read were “life of Christ” and some lives of the
Saints. He spent many hours day
dreaming about his past and possible future exploits at court and also about
emulating the Saints and their brave deeds.
As he reflected on the experience of enjoying both sorts of day dreams,
he noticed that they had a different effect on how he felt afterwards. His fantasies about courtly adventures and
heroism left him feeling flat and restless, whereas after thinking about the
lives of St. Francis and Saint Dominic he felt exhilarated.
He had found out the what he
focused on in his thinking and meditation affected his life. He went on to write his spiritual exercises
which were scripture based, Christ centred meditations and contemplations.
In the middle of his painful
experience, Ignatius had discovered that focusing regularly on Jesus in his
imagination enabled him to see the presence of God in his life. It was if you like a way of waking Jesus
up. Ignatius said that the test of
God's action in your life was found in an increase of faith, hope and love. The spiritual exercises he developed were
aimed precisely at bringing this about.
Now the exercises are very detailed and can take a full month to work
through. I'm not going to suggest that
you start that today. But a simple
prayer exercise he developed, and which he later said if you only learned to do
one thing, do this was called the Examen.
The Examen is simply a way of
becoming aware of God. It is a 10
minute exercise which can be done at any time of the day, but is usually used
at the end of the day. And I have produced
a copy of it for you.
By the time Ignatius died in 1556
some thousand Jesuits were at work in education, theological scholarship,
retreat giving and locally based pastoral ministries. But what mattered most was this-that they were all trying in
their lives to make the Jesus who calmed the storm, who drove out the Devils,
real in their experience. May this tool
of prayer help us to see him at work in our own lives whatever our
circumstances are.
The Practice of Awareness – the
Examen
1. How has God showing his love for me
today/this morning/this afternoon?
What did God do for me today? Thanks the Lord again and again.
Luke 1: 47 The Lord has done marvels for me; holy is
his name.
Psalm 116: 7-8 Return to your resting place, my soul;
Yahweh has treated you kindly. He has
rescued me from death, my eyes from tears and my feet from stumbling.
2. I ask the spirit of Jesus for the grace of
self knowledge.
I ask for light to have God's viewpoint, enabling me
to see my day as he sees it. Ask for
the grace to see how and why I have failed to respond to God's love.
1 Samuel 3: 10 Speak Lord, your servant is listening.
Ephesians 1: 17 May the God of our Lord Jesus Christ
grant you a spirit of wisdom and insight, to give a fuller knowledge of
himself.
Galatians 5:16 Learn to live and move in the spirit;
then there is no danger of your giving way to the impulses of sinful nature.
Psalm 51: 6 Yet since you love sincerity of heart,
teach me the secrets of wisdom.
3. What has been my response today:
To God?
To myself?
What I say to myself is more important than what I say to others.
To others, to those with whom I live?
To those with whom I work?
To things?
To circumstances and situations?
More importantly, why did I/did I not respond/react in
as certain way?
Every moment is a gift from God. He is always at work, always drawing me
closer to him in and through my experience-the raw material of my holiness.
4. I express sorrow for my faults.
Psalm 51: 1 Have mercy on me, oh God, in your
goodness.
Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me, a sinner.
5. I resolve to do better tomorrow.
Luke 7: 50 Your faith has saved you; go in peace.
6. "Give me only your love and your grace;
it is all I need."
The Lord’s prayer, prayed slowly.