1.
Introduction :
'I tell you, when women start pissing like us,
that's it.'
'Genetic mutations, innit? They're turning into
us.'
'A few years and men won't exist, except in a
zoo. I mean, we're not needed anymore, are we? Obsolete, dinosaurs, yesterday's
news.'
These few
lines spoken in a Job Centre in the film The Full Monty reverberate with
the pain of lost identity, and reflect a general recognition that there is in
the West a 'crisis in masculinity', manifested not least through signs of
psychological, social and even physical dis-ease.[1]
Our present experience of masculinity is widely regarded as being marked by
brokenness, so much so that an Observer columnist has remarked, 'Men are being
treated without the respect due to them as human beings with a distinctive
contribution to make to society.'[2]
At the same
time, the poor ratio of men to women in many of our churches reveals another
side to the “lostness” of the male gender.
Christianity - started by a man, spread by men, founded on texts written
almost exclusively by men, its theological history dominated by men, and its
leadership comprised, until recently, by men - is, in our culture, at this
time, seen as 'feminine', and seems to provide few real answers to the wider
sense of lost identity and purpose affecting men. In an attempt to bridge the gap between men and the church, much
work has been done on how evangelism can be made culturally accessible
for men - more sports evenings, pub quizzes etc.
But while
this is commendable, this booklet seeks to explore the roots of what, if
anything, makes men 'tick' spiritually, as men. It is driven by the
conviction that whatever evangelistic techniques or 'repackaging' we might
choose to employ, moving forward will be impossible unless the culture and
spirituality of the church is itself renewed. Before we can understand why men outside the church feel
alienated from its life and its God, we need to be addressing the more
fundamental issues which concern the men already inside the church, the
issues which may have more to do with crucial questions of male identity. We
must recognise that the lack of men in our churches is not rooted in
pathological allergies to the religious or to styles of worship, but perhaps
more in our own limited understanding of an incarnated faith. We need to
explore the roots of where the feminine “bias” of the church population
lies, and to investigate the distinctive features of male identity and masculine
spirituality.
There are
two sides to the issue. We owe to women and feminist studies a new awareness
that gender differences can seriously be explored and celebrated at all. But it has been very difficult for men to
find both the 'vocabulary' to talk about what 'masculine spirituality' might
mean, and the secure environment in which to do this. So we need a framework
from which men can
The other
side of the problem is that men are not starting with a blank sheet. There is the legacy of the past which has
already moulded men into certain models of behaviour, both spiritual and
otherwise. Our history, theology, worship and practice of life together has
been gendered in such a way that we have both institutionalised traditional
models of masculinity, while at the same time denying men the opportunity to celebrate
the fullness of being male in body, and masculine in mind and spirit. Thus part
of the task we face in discovering a way forward for men is to critique the
painful past.
On a positive front, there are basic principles of masculine spirituality that I will put forward, and which have arisen from the growth in men's literature in the last decade or so. In particular, exploring the link between sexuality and spirituality, seeking to understand the significance of role models appropriately, and the task of finding metaphors for living as men can offer new and positive direction. It’s my belief that there are many untried and exciting ways in which the “lost male” can be found – for himself and for God. However, it is also true that male identity cannot be discovered in isolation from female identity, and true growth will involve men in dialogue with women about themselves which may at times be painful.
But if we
can do this, if we can stretch the boundaries, if we can be liberated from
restrictive roles, then Christian men will not only find ways of growing in
faith, but the church will also have a lot to offer those men outside the
Christian community. Books and films such as American Beauty, Fight Club,
High Fidelity, and The Full Monty reveal a widespread
acknowledgement of a sense of 'crisis in masculinity' which pervades Western
society. Our culture calls out for a new sense of identity, and an affirmation
of what being a man means, which for once isn't created by reaction against the
feminine, or by a regression to old patterns of behaviour. We need to know and
experience in the church, that gender, masculinity, is a God-given gift,
with the potential to be nurtured, redeemed and celebrated.