One on Ones
These one-on-one conversations with young adults occurred over a
period of time between October 2000 and May 2001. Young adults were contacted from First
Congregational Church of Somerville, MA, Tufts
University, Medford, MA and Harvard University and Harvard Divinity
School, Cambridge, MA.
Some biases are obvious and must be brought forth. Every person was of middle to upper class
background. Every person was college
educated (or in the process). Most of the
people were white with a few exceptions.
The present report attempts to gather the information into a
collective survey. I highlight the broad
themes and overarching tendencies of the people I conversed with. Read: these are the broad sweeping
generalizations. Please understand that
generalizations are dangerous and can be misused. The present report is just that, a report.
One of the initial impetuses for this relational research was in
reading literature on “Generation X” and finding it to be woefully
inadequate. I sought out to give “the
accurate portrayal of a young adult.”
Very quickly I’ve realized that the scope and spirit of my generation is
too broad to be encapsulated in one text.
Here, I add my sociological characterization to the rest.
Across
the board, both conservatives and liberals1 say that the number one
reason they attend church, or are involved in a church group, is for
community. As I will discuss more in the
next section, the main draw was not God, faith and definitely not a rock music
band.
This “community” that everyone
alluded to in some fashion, is not a potluck or even simply coffee after
worship. The “community” that everyone
appreciates or is looking for, is a dynamic, growing community. Young adults are looking for a group of
people that can provide the spiritual and emotional resources needed to help
them get through life’s tough questions.
They look for a community that engages challenging problems (sex, death,
drugs, politics), a community that acts out their faith in real and concrete
ways, a community that is willing to pray with and pray for each other.
This “community” offers a sense of
belonging and of ownership. There is a
sense of security and purpose attached to being part of this dynamic
group. This can sometimes pan out to
look like a highly programmatic calendar: events, services and projects—but
that is not always the case.
The “community” is not something
“out there” but something “right here.”
It is relational, that is to say, built on one-on-one relationships
between individuals and small groups. A
member “belongs” because he or she knows and relates to other members; a member
has a sense of ownership, because they have the control to affect and change
their relationships with others in the congregation. There is a sense of security, because there a
sense that the “community” watches out for its members—members watch out for
each other. And through these
relationships (and perhaps with the prodding of the occasional sermon or
workshop) the community is able to define its own purpose—deepening faith,
praying, social justice, etc.
During the course of this year, I’ve
often asked myself the question: why is community such an imperative to
religious formation? Most young adults
have articulated (only few in this context) feelings of being detached. We are detached from our peers, detached from
other generations, and in many ways detached from ourselves. We are not a generation of self-centered,
know-it-alls without any respect for history.
In many ways, we feel as though we are not worthy of notice, from
history or ourselves; we feel cast away by those in power. For this reason, “community” is central, and
often also serves as a healing element to “faith.”
“Community” was the number one
attraction for young adults and the number one maintainer of young adults
within the church. “Faith” was a close second.
It became obvious throughout the course of the year that “faith” was a
very big topic that included just about everything (sometimes even including
“community”).
As important as a dynamic community is,
faith must also be dynamic, practical and action-oriented. “Faith” is not something that is handed over
during the course of a worship service.
The church community creates tools to deal with the difficulties of
daily life. And “faith” must be relational
(just like community). A faith in
isolation is not sufficient; isolation does not provide the spiritual and
emotional (and physical) sustenance that a congregation can. Thus also, faith must not be solely about
individual salvation, but must incorporate the interpersonal and structural
realities of life.
Three large blocks arise in
conversations of “Faith”: 1) God/theology, 2) change/personal growth and
challenge, and 3) social justice and community activism.
God/Theology. The God piece, one might really assume that
this would be before community. But
community is ubiquitously more important.
Theologies are cultivated and supported in an effort to build community. In heavy theological terms, theologies are
built through a hermeneutic of community.
In many ways, the theology is the means to community (the end).
Young adults are less concerned with
“denominational issues.” While the
history of particular traditions often serve to deepen a faith and/or personal
theology. Young adults from protestant
denominations expressed the importance of unity and
dialogue—relationships!
This theology must not be handed to
the young adult. The pulpit is no longer
a place of objectivity, but rather a place of subjectivity. Preachers speak from their own experiences
and perspectives. Most young adults are
willing and able to challenge the preacher if they disagree with a point or an
ideology. In the same way, young adults
are not looking for the answers; they are looking for the tools to answer
questions, and to ask and grapple with new questions.
Young adults do not want to be
hindered in the questions that they are allowed to ask, nor do they want to
have questions pre-answered. Every young
adult I spoke with appreciated the process of critical analysis and engagement
with a problem such as economic disparity, the environment, homosexuality or
death.
Some more specific theological
dichotomies (bold implies a greater presence of the characteristic):
Lefty, liberal
folk Right,
conservative, (often) evangelical folk
Resistant to
dogmatism Resistant to
dogmatism
Critical of social
institutions (including the church) Critical of
social institutions (excluding the church)
Believe in a prophetic
witness (in political, but not interpersonal contexts) Believe in a prophetic witness (in
both political and interpersonal contexts)
Emphasis on faith
as transformational Emphasis on
faith as transformational
Prayerful Prayerful
Relational Relational
Apologetic Unapologetic
Broader sense of
the divine within the mundane God is present
but separate from the mundane
Change
– Personal growth and challenge. A Harvard undergraduate said something most
profound which has been a wash of light onto much of this ministry, from a
faith perspective: “People don’t want to
hear ‘the message’—people resist it because they want to stay the same. They don’t want to change.”
Liberal
and conservatives alike articulated that change was a very important piece of
their faith. Most young adults
articulated change as a positive thing—it was their faith that was moving them
toward a more perfect lifestyle. This
interpersonal challenge of faith echoes of and is echoed in a prophetic quality
of faith on an external, political level.
However, the final vision of liberals and conservatives differed.
For
example, “liberals” felt that homophobia (everyone’s favorite hot-topic!) was
wrong and steps should be taken to educate and liberate. “Conservatives” agreed that hatred of and
violence toward queer individuals was wrong.
A small crew of Harvard undergraduates (affiliated with Campus Crusades)
was even encouraging a dialogue between queer and Christian camps. Yet these students still held that homosexuality
was a sin and was wrong.2
Social
Justice and Community Activism. Faith is expected to demand action and work
on behalf of the follower, on an internal level and an external socio-political
level. Nearly every young adult
expressed a need for his or her faith to be active. Sunday morning 10AM is not enough to satisfy
and sustain a curious, dynamic and challenging faith. For those who specifically addressed a need
for an action based component, social justice work was the number one.
Music. The knee-jerk, quickest response to young
adult ministry is: “get a band!” This is
a logical response to make church more accessible. Especially for young adults who are not
raised in a church tradition or can’t read music, to walk into a church and
find an organ and traditional (sometimes gender exclusive) hymns is a
challenge. Young adults want a peppier,
upbeat and living musical atmosphere.
This
all makes very good sense. But the truth
is, not one young adult mentioned a band as a criterion that would make or
break their church experience. Several
young adults appreciated traditional hymnody.
For many young adults performing, singing and listening to music was
pivotal to spiritual and emotional healing and revelation. Yet most did not see a band as the necessary
answer to the problem of young adult apathy.
A more recent insight suggests that church services that incorporate
bands, have most likely reflected on others ways to be inclusive of a broader population.
In
the end, I suspect that this is a matter mostly of personal taste. Some young adults will like a band; others
will prefer the hymns and tradition. And
the bottom line is that band is not the answer, just another question to ask.
The
Bible. Ah, that
wonderful text that has been used to liberate millions and oppress even
more. Young adults see the bible as a
very challenging book. Many avoid it
altogether in their spiritual development, preferring the self-help section of
bookstores. Others appreciate Biblical
references to support topics preached on during worship. Still others see it as the ultimate resource,
the inerrant word of God. While the
character of a relationship to the bible changed from person to person, the
desire for hermeneutical and exegetical tools was there. Young adults want to the tools to be able to
approach the bible, and to find meaning in it.
The present report is just that, a report. It illumines some of the details and quirks
of a small enclave of young adults in the Metro-Boston area. It may prove very helpful for ministers in
this area, or in a similar area.
However, far more educational (spiritually and emotionally) for me, has
been the process. More and more,
I realized that the information I gather is less and less important compared to
the relationships I build. I have
worshipped with many of the young adults with whom I have met. And I have learned the most valuable lesson
for all ministries: the power of listening.
If young adults feel detached,
listening is how we bring them back to the fold. Empowerment, engagement, attendance in Sunday
worship, whatever your goal is, it should be subordinate to listening and
relationship building.
I challenge each minister to give up
simple programmatic methods of outreach (a band, flashier sermons, etc). Begin with the process of listening. Start with one young adult, and ask if they
have any friends with whom you can speak.
These one-on-one conversations are not an evangelical moment, or a
moment to convert; they are a moment to swap stories. We all have them, and we all like to tell
them, if only someone will listen.
Notes
1
It is important to realize that few young adults ascribe to the dichotomized
notions of “conservatives” and “liberals,” especially as those terms are played
out in modern religious and political dialogues. Many young adults had difficulty assuming the
identity “Christian,” not willing to carry all the semantic and emotional
baggage loaded in that word.
2
It is important that I inject information about my own methodology in this
matter. Due to the sensitive nature
about this topic (homosexuality), I was never the one to raise the issue in
conversation with other young adults.
The topic was almost always brought up in conversation, and it was
brought up always by the young adult, not any personal agenda of my own. In dialogue on this topic, there was never a
“convert” or “convince” mentality, just an exchange of personal faith and
experience. Opinions did vary.