Diane…thank you so much for keeping this a secret. As you can tell I am in deep desperation. I don’t know what else to do. As you know Deb and I have been trying to work things out. Though I feel it as a work in progress, I get the feeling from her that she is wanting to move on. In the attempt to try to keep this short (because I know I can be long winded) I think that her and Randy have been in contact recently. I feel this only because the way she is acting now resembles when she first started talking to him. Please know that I am not typically a paranoid person, but when it comes to our future together (Deb, Josh, her kids, and myself) I cannot afford to make any mistakes.

I know, as she has probably told you, that we have been bickering on and off. I don’t know why she is unhappy, but for myself I can tell you it is because of legit reasons. I just feel that she doesn’t want to try in our relationship. For example: I am trying to save money for a house, new car, and I even put a engagement ring on layaway that I am periodically making payments on, which is nearly paid off. I even am trying to save money for an inexpensive plane ticket to Texas…even though Deb and I went into our relationship in the wrong order, I wanted to still try to do something right and ask your father permission to marry his daughter. And if that wasn’t possible at least write a letter. At the same time she went out and bought a $150 carpet that we don’t need. I would have been ok if she understood that now is not the time to be spending money on items we don’t need, and went back to the store and returned it, but instead she kept it in hopes that I would forget about it. I hope you can see where my frustration is stemmed from. Now please don’t get my wrong, I do love her. Please never think otherwise. Also it is combined with my new fears that Randy is back into the picture…which adds more fuel to her fire. A typical man will say they are just friends, and will play the role as the “supportive friend”; meanwhile will throw in hidden jabs on how her present relationship will not work out. Does this make the man terrible… no…this is just what I believe is embedded in every man’s genes. And since I believe that he is doing just that….he is knowingly aiding in the total destruction of what Deborah and I have. All I ask again, and I know that this is a lot and borders the line of morality, is that you ask him to stop talking to her at the present time. I am not trying to control her and who she talks to…but right now in this whole confusing situation, it would be easier for her to take the easy road, him. I promise you that if things don’t work out, I will be the first one to call him and let him know. I am sure that a few months of him dormant, will not hurt anything. In the horribly event that she still doesn’t want to have a family together, I want to know in my heart that I tried everything that I spiritually and humanly could. I don’t want to be part of the 65% of people that get divorced…all everyone does is take the easy path which leads to our world like it is today. No one tries anymore…well I want to break that cycle. I don’t want to take the easy road.

Let me remind you again that I do feel a bit foolish asking this, but you know that I don’t want Joshua to grow up in a broken home. Kids suffer too greatly from that…no matter now civil and good both parents are. Please step back from this whole situation and try to see where I am coming from. Only then you will see why I am asking this outrageous favor. I love your sister and would never hurt her. Hopefully one day after we are married we can look back at this and laugh…And if you cannot grant me this wish, please still keep this a secret because she would only be angry with me. Diane, god bless and take care.

….you cannot desire love that you have just found, that is too easy…you should only desire love that has lasted through time.

-Guido