AUSTRALIA 2001


Yeehaaaaa! The intrepid Puddledubers are on holiday.

Hopefully, by next week we'll have something more interesting to report on than the medical problems of Boris the Bastard (who miraculously is almost completely healed).

21/11/01
We have arrived in sunny Oz safe and well. The flight went as well as could be expected when travelling to the other side of the world in 24 hours. Sam was outstanding - much good natured excitement for the two short trips from Edinburgh - London and London - Frankfurt (lots of 5 4 3 2 1 shouting from the three of us on take off to the amusement of most of our fellow passengers and maybe to the annoyance of others, but who cares about miserable gits!). On the long haul from Frankfurt to Singapore Sam was asleep before we reached cruising height and stayed that way for nine whole hours, waking up in time to scoff breakfast before landing and taking off again for Perth. We arrived at 0100 this morning; Emma and I managed about two hours sleep and awoke again at 0730 feeling a bit schmechtered. Sam wriggled in our shared bed for a few minutes before announcing that it was too dark. "Shut your eyes" suggested Emma "It's still dark" was the response followed by eight hours snoring from the small shouty one. We've spent today moving into our gaff in Freo (one of four terraced townhouses two minutes walk from the centre of town) and sussing the place out.
First impressions are extremely good - friendly people, good restaurants and the perfect climate to break us in gently. Hot but with a constant sea breeze. Off to the wedding rehersal at Ian and Karen's house tonight as Sam is a pageboy. Tomorrow will be spent shopping and maybe sipping a few cold beers on one of the many fantastic beaches.
Note change of address: 17-19 Arudnal Street (00 61 8 9335 4554)
Emma speaking now - Still trying to get used to the surreal idea of meeting family memebers - choose a member, any member - for lunch or drinks etc... The family Von Trapp is nothing on the Lindsay/de Burgh clan. At least in Oz we're warm while we argue - only joking!

28/11/01
We have settled in well here in Freo and have been taking things easy. On our first excursion into town (5 mins away) Graeme and Sam went for a drive around in a Scooter car which is basically an open bubble car that takes two people and has stabilisers at the back. While the boys were having fun I went shopping - tough job but someone has to do it. We have purchaed a couple of videos fo keep Sam quiet and a book featuring Wandjina which we've only read a couple of hundred times to date. For those not in the know, Wandjina is an Aboriginal spirit which featured in the opening ceremony of the Olympics and Sam is obsessed with him.
We have visited the local market and Sam has already started buying presents for Granny and we have also discovered a pub called Little Creatures. As one side of the pub is a working brewery Graeme is very happy and as there is a pink and orange recliner in the beer garden Sam is very happy too. Hours of entertainment for both the boys and peace for me.

Wer had the wedding rehersal during the week which went very well. Graeme and I took this as a bad sign - if Sam caried out his duties well at the rehersal would he be monster on the day? Of course he proved us wrong and behaved impeccably. We bought Monkey a new ribbon and he carried the wedding rings on his back. Sam was delighted to be escorted down the aisle by two of the most beautiful and glamourous women he's ever met in his life, which is some feat considering Sam knows some very beautiful and glamourous women - thanks to Druki and Corinna - and apart from stamping mistakenly in the flower beds he was the model of good behaviour.
At the reception he was also in his element as the only other children there were five girls ranging in age frm 5-13. No problems from him all night except for a couple of tired moments and he made it to the bitter end - 2am!
Ian and Karen look very very happy and Karen, as ever, looked gorgeous. When they made their entrance to sit at the top table for dinner, the hotel thoughtfully provided canned clapping incase we couldn't be bothered. Great ceremony (short and sweet), good food and excellent company. Sorry, that's all I can remember.

There was a BBQ on Sunday which Grame and Dad had fun with. They did all the work and the rest of us did all the drinking! Graeme went out in the evening to watch the Old Firm match in an Irish pub and phoned me for a Celtic penalty so that I could hear the pub roar and pretend I was there - now that's love!!!

The real V.B. man

The wedding party

For Ruth. The result of your labours



29/11/01
Just about to leave Fremantle for Melbourne. We've had a fantastic week and are already looking forward to our return in a fortnight. If the rest of Australia is as laid back and as good natured as the people we've met here I might have to ask Telstra if they're in need of any coaches.
Everything is extremely cheap by our standards e.g. Kilo of fresh tiger Prawns from the supermarket - $22 (7 quid), and we saw one hotel in Fremantle advertising t bone steak and chips for $6 (2 quid!!). Needless to say we're still managing to spend a fortune but we'll worry about that next year. Melbourne here we come.

02/12/01
Melbourne has flashed past. John met us at the airport on Thursday night and we moved into our apartment - very plush and right in the trendy part of the city. It has a sauna, jacuzzi and gym although I'm getting all the exercise I need carting Sam around on my shoulders. Friday, we had a guided tour of the city and went out for an Italian in the evening which Sam slept all the way through. Saturday John and I had an excellent day out at the races winning four out of eight races and were well in profit at close of play. Unfortunately, Emma had to remove Sam early on for the heinous crime of being an annoying wee shite! This seems to have worked and today he is back to his usual self. Generally he's been fantastic considering we've dragged him all this way. Today John and I spent the afternoon at a huge funfair with Sam while Emma went off to batter the plastic in the city - we await her homecoming with trepidation. One slight error of judgement at the funfair - Sam and I went on what I thought was a gentle train ride around the perimeter. It turned out to be a hair raising roller coaster ride and he damn near soiled his britches - oops!
The rugby shirt blag has been a huge success and an excellent conversation starter. John and I have to behave like complete girls and phone each other to check what the other is wearing as both at the same time would be too naff for words.

Pete Mackay, if you're reading this, tell Rob that Brad Ogg sends his regards. Apparently they played together for Eastern Suburbs in Sydney man years ago - another rugby shirt induced conversation in the pub.

Off out for a meal with John and a couple of friends tonight and then heading to his parents farm by the Murray River tomorrow for a few days rustication.

Emma's back and another good illustration of the pound's value versus the dollar is that after half a day's intense shopping she failed to break the £100 barrier - praise the Lord! Must go - It is beer o'clock again.


Emma here - Graeme forgot to mention we have bought Sam an Oz rugby shirt which we are having difficulty ripping off his back. Also, Suz McAdam - never come here! Tess would love it as radio stations play lots of 70's music - Graeme was delighted to hear ACDC at 1am one morning. However, all Oz white wine is sweet. We eventually managed to find a bottle saying Chablis. This was obviously a lie as wine was still sweet - but not as bad as the others. Suz Newman - start saving now - red wine is fantastic!

11/12/01
We ar now in Sydney after a few days on John McRae's parents farm. Our last night in Melbourne we went for dinner by the river to the same restaurant John had taken Amanda to on her way through to NZ and then strolled along the river front and watched the fire towers exploding - hard to explain but basically there are about 10 nondescript towers along the side of the river that blow huge flames skyward on the hour - very impressive! Sam was not happy but managed not to burst into tears and told us it was great - once it had finished!
The trip to Leitchville took the majority of the next day driving in easy stages, stopping for lunch and also to view the new dam on the Murray River. The excitement began when we arrived at the farm and Sam realised that we were staying somewhere with loads of ground to stretch his legs and - most importantly - four tractors. These break down as follows: one blue tractor and one red tractor - both still working on the farm; one sit on lawn mower (Sam sized red tractor)and the Boom Boom tractor which is called the Bulldog and is a relic from a bygone age. The Bulldog was bought brand new by John's grandfather in the 1950's and was started for our edification during our visit. Starting this monster means lighting a fire in the front of it using lighter fluid and then inserting the steering wheel in a hole in the side and turning it backwards and forwards until the engine catches. You then quickly remove steering wheel and reinsert on steering column and hope you haven't started the thing in reverse. There is much billowing smoke and noise - Graeme had a great time driving up and down the farm track on it.
Our days on the farm passed faster than we had expected with a couple of BBQs attended by other members of the McRae family and a paddleboat trip from Echuca - twice in fact as we had such a good time! We also drove a short way into the Bush sighting two kangaroos en route and strolled along the banks of the Murray River where John and Graeme spent a happy half hour jumping from a tarzan rope into the river to Sam's delight.
On instructions from John we did not take his parents Scottish presents (many Scottish relatives - what's the point) but cooked them a meal instead. This seemed to go down well with a woman who has raised four sons, so thanks to Jamie Oliver for the 5 hour lamb recipe if he ever reads this.
Sam had the time of his life running free on the farm for a few days and becoming the grubbiest child on the planet and some early nights did us the world of good too. Many thanks to Jan and Rod for making us feel so welcome, flying the Saltire on our behalf and even removing the pips from Sam's orange juice made from oranges not only squeezed that morning but actually picked from the tree half an hour before breakfast. Our lessons on dairy farming in Australia were incredibly interesting - coming from Scotland it is hard to imagine the problems to be circumnavigated (ha ha) through lack of water and learning how this is acheived was fascinating.
Leaving the farm we travelled 7 hours by train to Sydney - Sam once more proving what a natural traveller he is - and met up with the Peedie Eck (Erik Tait).
Sam is now a happy child - he was unhappy before? - as we promised him some train track in Sydney and he has now received this and is playing happily. We have spoken much of how cheap things are over here - this does not extend to toys. The train track cost a small bloody fortune and it would have been infinitely cheaper to bring some track with us in the first place - still you live and learn.
Erik and Graeme have gone off exploring Sydney together and will no doubt return to describe pub interiors in good time.

Note to people signing the guest book - although you can type in loads we only get a couple of sentances. Ruth, we got up to "The rugby shirts" on your entry - what did the rest say?

All of the above actually happened leading up to and including the 7th December. We will update again within the next 48 hours to bring us up to date - I promise! Lack of keeping up to date is entirely Erik Tait's fault

12/12/01
Just nipped out for a swift long island iced tea with Eck while Emma gets Sam out of bed. We're off down to the harbour this evening for a night time tour. Sydney is great fun. We've changed appartments and are roughing it for a few days which Sam is loving as he gets to share a room with Eric (his current hero). The only problem with Sydney is that it has an unfortunate habit of revolving after about 10pm which can be a trifle disconserting but we're managing to cope.
We've had a couple of great nights. On one particularly memorable one Eck was wearing his kilt and a Scotland rugby shirt and I had on my hybrid shirt and we didn't manage to walk more than 100 yards before being accosted by some nutter desperate to chat and get us intoxicated. Needless to say we fought them off bravely and managed to struggle home by god knows when. Eck was also kind enough to babysit for an evening so Emma and I got the chance to check out Sydneys Soho, big fun! Why do we always end up staying in these dodgy areas? It must be the Cochrane luck.
More details about Sydney as soon as I can find a sober typist.

18/12/01
Right, here we are back in sunny Fremantle.A brief resume of Sydney and the fearless Erik Tait is as follows.
We did actually manage to do a few things in Sydney other than partying. We took the commuter ferry to Manley for the day, and after a relaxing lunch, spent the afternoon on the beach with Sam. This was a huge success as Sam has now decided that he isn't scared of the beach after all and he had a great time building sandcastles. I even managed to get him into the water briefly which he was enjoying until an unexpectedly large wave arrived and he ended up face down in the sea - oops, back to square one. Sydney is a stunning city visually, and the best way to view it is from the water so the Manley trip was worth it for the boat ride alone.
We spent a day at the zoo which also requires a ferry ride and a relaxing lunch. Sam loved it, especially the monkeys, and we've never heard Sam's monkey being so vocal.
The next day we went to the famous Bondi Beach. Emma and Sam played in the sand, Eric slept (big girl) and I spent a fantastic afternoon attempting to body surf. Managed it only about 6 times out of many attempts but it was worth all the spectacular wipeouts when it came together. Maybe the large liquid lunch beforehand wasn't the best idea but we live and learn (just).
Other highlights from Sam's point of view were; The museum, double decker trains, jacuzzis and staying up late eating crisps with Erik while E and I went out - I knew there was a good reason to meet up with him. Our second appartment in Sydney turned out to be in Darlinghurst which seems to be the Gay capital of the world. Emma and I had a ludicrously drunken evening in the local bars and clubs, which we're both agreed had the happiest atmosphere of any we've been to at home or abroad. Erik Actually only offered to babysit on one occasion, on the other he was stupid enough to put on his personal hi-fi at about 1130 and Emma and I fled the hoos when he wasn't looking. "Just popping out for a quick cocktail" we lied, returning at 0330 shouting rubbish.
And so we return to Freo and the happy couple. Loads of parties, barbies, and table football (which I'm now addicted to). Will update soon and I've stuck a few photos on the "Puddledub Pics" page if anyones interested.

24/12/01
We are now in Hong Kong and write only to wish all our loyal fans a Happy Christmas and to remind most of you that we will be coming home to get you soon. We have worn the boys out at Ocean Park today and expect them to be in bed very very soon. We will then be preparing for the arrival of Father Christmas with Andy and Julieand some mulled wine. Tough job but somebody's got to do it!

Have a good one, everyone!
Back to home page you accursed swine

© Copyright G Cochrane 2001