On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
On Swann frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: "Fits one head."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box): "Do not turn upside down."
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: "Do not drive car or operate machinery."
On Nytol sleep aid: "Warning: may cause drowsiness."
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."