3.5 Basics of the Self

"The greatest hazard of all, losing one's self, can occur very quietly in the
world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any
other loss—an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc.—is sure to be noticed."
......Soren Aabye Kierkegaard

After a study of the key processes in the previous two articles,  and their
application,  limitations,   uses  and  abuses,   this   article  goes  into  the
substrate, the base operations of the mind, the key to the control centers,
the emotions,  the drivers.  The  process tools of reason and intuition can
only  be  as  good  as the drivers  and the forces  that direct and control
the processes.  This  article goes into the basics of internal controls and
their forces.

"There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth,
yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain
must be added the experience of the soul".......Arnold Bennett

In the article "physical.htm" a basic division has been made between physical and
non-physical aspects of reality. In that the self is considered as having a body,
brain and mind as physical aspects of the self and also an unknown non-physical
aspect that cannot be definitely conceptualized. Without further consideration for
the body and brain, the focus in this article is on the Mind, that is further divided
into conscious and sub-conscious operations of the nervous system, and the
non-physical component which is termed here as the supra-conscious.
The article conscious.htm covers this in detail.

3.5.1 THE SURVIVAL AUTOMATON STRUCTURE

. " But the basic investigation of self or of other selves is not easy or fast.
Our builtin prejudices, biases, repressions and denials fight against
understanding. Our Unconscious automatically controls our behavior.
Eventually we may be able to progress farther"......John C lilly

The   mind   in  its  simplest  understanding  can  said  to  be   the  control  and
communication system of a being, that begins operating at the moment of birth
by interacting  with  the  outside  world  through  the   sensory systems and the
primary  control  mechanism  that  is  inbuilt for the survival of the being.  This
control  mechanism is derived from the reward and punishment systems of the
brain  where  the pain  and pleasure centers are located.  In its bare and basic
operation, the mind tends to seek a state of  maximum pleasure and minimum
pain.  On  this  bare  and  basic  control  mechanism   is  laid the foundation and
establishment of a structure and operating hierarchy for the functional purpose
of survival and stability of operation.

The  major   inbuilt  goal  of  this  structure  is  to build and maintain a defensive
mechanism  that  reaches  a  level  of  sophistication   whereby  it  defends  the
dominating,   highest  valued   or   priority   belief   that,   seemingly   becomes
representative  of  the self,  by  making  all the  other  operations  and  beliefs
subservient under its control.

"If we can free ourselves from the effects on our thinking machine of storage
of  material  from the  external world,  if  we  can free   ourselves up from the
effects  of  storage  of  metaprograms  which  direct   our thinking,  programs
devised by others and fed to us during our learning years, we may be able to
see the outline and the essential variables which are genically  determined.
This  is an immensely difficult area for research.  It will require the services
of  many  talented  individuals  considering  their  own   thinking  processes,
combined  with  a  detailed  knowledge  of  their   genic  structure  and their
genic predecessors"........John C Lilly

Most of the elements of this structure ( of concepts and beliefs) are acquired from
outside, i.e., from family, society and culture, and consequently the control threads
of this structure itself then becomes mostly a function of socially   acquired  beliefs,
although at the top of this hierarchy  of control  priority is invariably the operating
commands  of  self - preservation  and  one's  own    physical  survival,  and  whose
operation becomes   mostly  hidden and buried deeply in the sub-conscious.  Sadly,
  this  fact  is  not  acknowledged  by  most   people  especially  even  psychologists, 
presumably  because  most  people  are  not   self-analytical,  and  also  because a
program  ( or  pattern  of  operation )  that  operates    constantly   itself  becomes
unobservable  and undetectable  by  the  conscious (  for example a  steady  sound
  becomes  unnoticeable  after  some  time  even  as less as a  few minutes; and the
survival programs have been operational right from birth,  hence their operations
are  by  and  large  unnoticeable  unless  one  goes into rigorous self-analysis and
experimentation  in  order  to  flush  it  into  the   open  or to expose its operation
to the conscious ). 

Most  of  the   social  behavior  also  gets  connected  with  this program  and this
connection  also  lays  the  foundation for the build up of social value structures.

So long as this self-preservation control program occupies the

topmost position in the control hierarchy, all other behaviors,

programs,   metaprograms  are  subservient  to this king of all

programs.

But  to bring   down  this king of all programs from its high and

mighty   position  to  its  proper place is no easy task and is the

most formidable struggle - the mother of all battles that takes

place within oneself.

The trick then is to bring the root of this program into the

conscious where its priority is made applicable only in the

condition where an actual threat to survival takes place.

" During the first period of a man's life, the greatest danger is : not
to take the risk"....Soren Aabye Kierkegaard

What  makes this so  difficult  to  isolate,  observe  and  bring under
conscious  control  this  core  operating  program  is the  fact that it
camouflages  itself,  by design,  in a very  sophisticated manner into
the  subconscious  and has its tentacles embedded  into all thought,
experiences and actions. Most of the time it sets up other dominant
operating  beliefs to  camouflage  its  operation,  even    completely
replaces  the  primary  survival  programs.    For  example,  in  most
religions  the  belief  in  a  deity  or   god  or  whatever  becomes the
most  dominating  operating  belief  that  at  times   can  become  so
overpowering that a person even becomes willing to commit murder
or even die for just an perceived insult to the believed deity or god.
Many  wars  are  fought  on  the  basis of the difference in perceiving
or interpreting the will of god, not for the highest good or for justice.

"Yet people with full knowledge of the arbitrary nature of this heredity,
somehow manage to go on believing in their religion, often with such
fanaticism that they are prepared to murder people who follow
a different one." .....Richard Dawkins

One can compare the structure of the mind with a pyramid whose topmost point
represents  this  self - preservation  program, ( being the root program )  whose
tentacles  extend  to  every corner and base of the pyramid,  and  which  controls
and makes subservient to it all other programs and beliefs,  without appearing to
do so  consciously.  And  this  is the program that  remains  operational till death
since its very purpose  is  the  physical  survivability  of the  biological organism.

Its domain covers anything related to the very fears and desires that
drive oneself, and so there is no escaping the reality of its
overbearing effects.

"If we don't know life, how can we know death ?"........Confucius

The only force that can overcome  its power is its precise opposite -

the force of one's own death, but that force is neither an attribute of

the sub-conscious, nor it is really an attribute of the conscious, ( an

attribute of the supra-conscious ?) but can, and has to be developed

to be the operating attribute of the conscious to a sufficient extent

by its simulation  under  conditions  that  it makes its

presence felt. 

But it must be understood that without some presence of this force

in the conscious operations, the hold of the subconscious cannot be

brought under conscious control, and thus cannot be transcended,

and so real power remains elusive.

At the  same time  one cannot discard or drown  this self-preservation program
permanently for that actually means death, but to bring it to a stable conscious
state whereby control can be transferred to it or relinquished from it at the
command or control of one's Will. 

So it must be clearly understood that the fluidity of this prima

program  is   a very   vital  requirement  for  the  right kind of

self-development and this fluidity of the prima control program

can only be attained by neutralising its dominating force by its

opposite - the force of one's own death.

"If you can't feel your death, how can you feel life fully, and

know what life means ?".......Updated 2003

 

3.5.2 The Death Force or
the Force of One's Own Death.

" Death destroys a man, the idea of Death saves him." ........E. M. Forster

I am saying here   " the force of one's own death "  simply  because  death is
particularly a personal affair, and outside oneself it has little meaning. Here
one  has  to  assume not only that one is very much mortal but also that this
mortality is a fragile and imminent probability.  So the death force has to be
simulated  in  order  to be effective with exposure only to the necessary and
required risks. To what extent, has to be personally determined.

As such " the death force " has meaning outside of oneself only as that which
ends the world or life in the world in which a living being exists.

"If you risk nothing, then you risk everything.".......Geena Davis

How can the "death force" be developed or simulated ? The only real way is
to turn every act into a life and death situation, which sounds ridiculous, but
is the most serious affair, fraught with risks, at times even unforeseen or
unforeseeable risks.

But then there is no real power without risk.

"In the last analysis it is our conception of death which decides our
answers to all the questions that life puts to us.".....Dag Hammarskjold

The more we try to secure our survivability, the lesser the chance

of personal growth in terms of obtaining real power. And without

real  power  that  determines the  degree  of  one's  control  over

oneself,   there  is  little difference between   the  existence  of a

machine and a human.

"Once you accept your own death all of a sudden you are free to live.
You no longer care about your reputation...you no longer care except
so far as your life can be used tactically -- to promote a cause
you believe in"......Saul Alinsky

This  does  not mean  that  one  turns reckless or take needless risks. All risks
must  be  calculated or balanced with respect to the potential dangers versus
benefits in terms of testing and refining one's structural capabilities by
exposing them only to essential risks.

Unless  the   critical  operating programs and beliefs are put to test by exposing
them to a life and death situation, these cannot be transcended  and  therefore
remain  to  be the critical and limiting determinants of our behavior. To put this
differently, it can be said that it is the force of one's own death that overcomes
  the  strength  of  the   operating  survival force to nutralise the " moral integrity
depleting"  and paralysing  nature of its  underlying  mechanism, without which
the full potential of our supra-conscious cannot be realised and integrated by
the conscious.

" The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an
idea, and an imitator who goes in search of  martyrdom is that the
former  expresses  his  idea  fully  in  death,  while   the  latter really
enjoys  the  bitterness  of  failure"...........Soren Aabye Kierkegaard

WILL

All this then brings us to the most crucial element of the self : Will.

Will is the force that directs the self towards its goal, and is a property of the

supra-conscious and / or is a conscious derivative of one's realised uniqueness.

Will is dealt separately in article 2.7.

3.5.3 EMOTIONS

" They say my verse is sad: no wonder; Its narrow measure spans
Tears of eternity, and sorrow, Not mine, but man's. " ......... Housman

Emotions  are the powerhouse,  the  driving  parameters that can make or break
one's Will  and thus one's whole self.  It  becomes  imperative   that the Will is able
to drive the emotions rather than what happens usually, i.e., the emotions become
the drivers of the will.  This is no easy task. It takes years, even a lifetime to have
conscious, willful control over one's emotions. And then again, at times emotions
are themselves indicative of our latent Will.

To be aware and conscious of all emotions and their effect upon one's mind and
subsequent behavior, is crucial for self development. It is essential to keep note
of the events, conditions, situations, causes, etc that trigger off emotions,
for self-analysis.

Only successful emotional self-analysis can lead to having control over one's
emotions, and thus the operation of the sub-conscious.

"Reason and emotion are not antagonists. What seems like a struggle
between two opposing ideas or values, one of which, automatic and
unconscious, manifests itself in the form of a feeling"........N. Branden

It is essential to realise that the so-called  negative  emotions can be just as
useful ( rather more so for self-analysis) than the so-called positive emotions.
Thus negative emotions are more potent than positive one's. The analogy of
the mathematical negative - positive seems to be valid here : the negative
element contains the positive in it through double negation ( the negative of
a negative yeilds a positive ), whereas the positive contains only the positive
in its multiplication.  The lesson : the extreme of a negative emotion often
leads to a stupendous creative breakthrough, but the extreme of a positive
emotion rarely results in a creative breakthrough, at best, a state of bliss.
Cultures or societies that emphasise only the positive emotions and demean
negative emotions by denying their place and value, lose their creativity.

"Anger and humor are like the left and right arm. They complement
each other. Anger empowers the poor to declare their uncompromising
opposition to oppression, and humor prevents them from being
consumed by their fury."......James Cone

It is in the deliberate withholding and defiance of the positive emotions
that gives them their potency.

It is the  basic emotions  that generate the survival automation.  That  is the
function of the basic emotions. Beyond basic physical survival, basic emotions
become a trap. ( who doesn't want to avoid painful situations and to seek and
sustain pleasurable ones ? )

The really successful test of having overcome the trap is when pleasure or pain
is not deliberately sought, (only when necessary ) and when pain is not avoided
or suppressed or feared. To survive however one cannot attain a perfect control
over emotions, nor is perfect control really required. However to be aware of  
and explored one's limitations here may for most purposes be sufficient.

3.5.4 GOING TO THE EDGE ( and not over it )

Certain situations may take one to the extreme of some emotions, and it is
also  useful  to  go  to the extremes  of all emotions   providing  one does not
get stuck on one end.  A balancing act is usually called for.   For example,
a extreme state of sadness can result from one's  insight into the
human condition. This can only be balanced by an insight into the
funny side of our condition.

To see and feel only one side is to be trapped in it.

Again  a  state   of  bliss is worth experiencing,  but hardly worth staying there
permanently  if  one  wants to  accomplish  anything creative.   Hardly  anybody
ever created anything in a state of bliss.This is a common trap that meditators
fall into and never come out of.  At  the  other  end  are   neurotics who live in
constant tensions and conflicts, and some are creative, but many only harm
themselves as well as others.

3.5.4.1 DELIBERATE NEUROSIS

To defy a state of bliss by going consciously and deliberately into

a state of neurosis, that arises out of a deliberate defiance of an

oppressive authority that derives its power from decadent social,

cultural or religious norms is the highest creative state.

This however does not imply a disregard for one's own life and the life of others.
To become reckless or have no regard for one's own life may be called for only
if the exceptional situation demands such a state. At the other extreme,
meaningless, purposeless survival without any growth is a  no-no  for
self-explorers.

Emotions are therefore indispensable for a meaningful, constructive and
creative existence and the key is to develop the right balance of opposing
emotional states.

3.5.4.2 EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE or INTELLIGENT EMOTIONS

Ultimately   emotions  are only as useful as they are utilised by our

intelligence for constructive or creative output otherwise emotions

only become potholes of useless indulgence. Intelligence without

emotions is only machine like behavior, however in every human

being, deep seated default emotions are still operational,

even if denied by the conscious intelligence.

 

3.5.5 THE TABULATED EMOTIONS and COUNTER EMOTIONS

A comparison of  paired emotional states is useful for developing a balanced

emotional state :

NEGATIVE (?) EMOTIONS or STATES	POSITIVE (?) EMOTIONS or STATES
PAIN	PLEASURE
AGONY	ECSTASY
BOREDOM	EXCITEMENT
ANXIETY	RELIEF
TENSION	RELAXATION
TERROR	WONDER
STRESS	CALM
FRIGHTFUL	PLEASANT
NEUROSIS	BLISS
HORRIFYING	ENJOYABLE
RESTLESS	SERENE
AGGRESSIVE	DOCILE
HOSTILE	BENEVOLENT
IRRITATED	RELAXED
IRKED	RELIEVED
ANGRY	HAPPY
SORROW	JOY
SADNESS	LAUGHTER
MORBID	HUMOROUS
ANGUISH	EXHILARATED
DEPRESSION	INSPIRATION
EMBARRASSED	CAREFREE
HUMBLE	ARROGANT
REGRETFUL, SORRY	DEFIANT, DEFENSIVE
INDIFFERENT	CURIOUS
UGLINESS, SICKENING	BEAUTY, BEAUTIFUL
DULL	STIMULATING
HATE	LOVE
DESPAIR	ELATION
PESSIMIST	OPTIMIST
REPULSIVE	ATTRACTIVE
LOATHING	LUSTING
JEALOUSY, ENVY	CHERISHING, ADMIRING
POSSESSIVE	DETACHED
APATHY	EMPATHY

"Neurosis is the suffering of a soul which has not discovered its meaning.'....Jung

Emotions are the forceful directors of our stream of consciousness, always present,
always  indicating,  always  affecting  our  moods , thoughts, attitudes, actions and
expressions - in  short,  all  that  we  value  or hold as value, is to a great extent a
function of our emotions.  To transcend one's values beyond base emotions is
to attain freedom from the mundane. 

3.5.6 HIGHER EMOTIONS

"The scribbling modern philosophy holds passion in contempt ; and yet passion
is the culmination of existence for an existing individual - and we are all of us
existing individuals."...........Soren Aabye Kierkegaard

3.5.6.1 The Antennas

It is difficult to classify emotions in a level hierarchy, however

there is no doubt a qualitative difference in simple neurological

pain and a state of anguish, as an example.

Therefore higher emotions are indicators of the deeper Self and

its central force - Will.

Higher emotions are the antenna of the consciousness.

Especially   those  intense  emotions  that  cannot  be  traced

to physical cause-effect relations. Those are the signals of the

Spirit, and to suppress them, however disturbing they may be,

is to lose out on something of great significance for oneself.

And it is not often that this occurs.

To successfully interpret these, is to gain an insight into

one's own nature and to develop the Will.

3.5.6.2 The Traps

Higher emotions can also be as trapping  as the  simplest

one's. For example, if faith is considered as a higher order

emotion, it can also become a formidable trap if it is based

upon or sourced from false expectations.

"Memes for blind faith have their own ruthless ways of propagating
themselves. This is true of patriotic and political as well as
religious blind faith."....Richard Dawkins

Most religions fail to provide an effective direction to its

subject societies because they only arouse and generate

false expectations and false hopes in their believers, with

no counter checks and corresponding responsibilities.

This  leads   to  bad  faith and bundles of lies that keep

piling up in a heap.

"Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power."
.................Eric Hoffer

3.5.6.3 The Check and the Balance

Again higher emotions also need to be counter checked or

balanced by counter emotions to remove deceptiveness or

falsehoods from creeping in.

(For example, can there be hope without deception unless

one also has gone to the very depths of hopelessness ?)

Then again a lot depends on how our intelligence and

emotions harmonise each other. Their operations must

compliment and drive each other, and not be

disconnected from each other.

 

 

3.5.6.4 THE DEATH EMOTION

"I know not what course others may take; but as for me,
give me liberty, or give me death."..........Patrick Henry

The highest and the most powerful emotion is the emotion of the

sense of one's death : an indescribable emotion that captures the

whole  and   totality  of  the  being,  a  resultant  and fusion of all

possible emotions in their extremes. It is this intense emotional

state  that   leads  to  a complete  surrender  to  one's death and

thereby to a reflection of the totality of one's self.

Death is the mirror that reflects the totality of a being.

"The world breaks us all.   Afterwords some are stronger at the

broken places ".................Hemingway.

 

NEXT PAGE No 16 : Art of Self Exploration

 

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