Heaven for Heathens presents: NAG Frequently

Conspiracy! God Sighted in Argentina!!! continued from previous page...

Elvis Presley allegedly died in 1977, but here is the evidence, after years of people claiming to have seen him, that suggests that it was all a big hoax.

God, assumed to have died in 1978 (of "natural causes") has been sighted numerous times with Elvis, in Argentina and once in Chile.

Scores of eye-witnesses have leant testemony to the fact, and now, dear reader, it is time for us all to admit to truth! God and Elvis are alive!

"He was reading a Newspaper or something, or maybe it was a magazine, like Time or The Bulletin, I am not sure, but he ended up choosing Chicks 'n' Cars." Donna Martinez, a local Newsagent says. "As he came to the counter, I saw a guy with him, and I thought, 'He looks really familiar'. And then it clicked! It was God and Elvis. It seemed all so obvious then."

Rosita, who wishes her last name to remain unknown, was one of the lucky people to attend an E.P and the G-Man concert. "While I was there, and singing along to one of their more catchier tunes - Suck Me All Night Long - it suddenly dawned

"He was reading a Newspaper or something, or maybe it was a magazine, like Time or The Bulletin, I am not sure, but he ended up choosing Chicks 'n' Cars."

on me," she explains. "'E.P', I thought. Could that stand for Edgar Poe? I was convinced that this man was the dead 19th century poet," Rosita says.

"But then I thought, 'E.P. that could be Elvis Presley'. It seemed less likely than Edgar Allen Poe, because Elvis had a drug overdose, but it certainly looked a lot like him. Long story short, I found his name sewn on his pants, if you get what I mean."

Rosita and Donna aren't the only ones. Daniel claims that God came to him and healed his affliction of Genital Warts.

"I was at the concert and I was looking at the two men on the stage, and I thought to myself jokingly 'that guy looks like what I would expect God to look like'. When I went to get a drink I was pounced upon by a man, and he began to fondle my crotch. It was a few days later that my warts were gone. I didn't actually see the man, but I know, in my heart, that I had the hand of God on my private parts." He pauses, smiling briefly. "I think it's a bit bigger actually..."

The evidence is clear. Eye-witness account after eye-witness account. The proof is endless. There are also people who say that Hermann Goerring and other Nazis have been seen with E.P. and the G-Man. It is obvious that something is afoot, and New Age Guru Frequently has uncovered it for you. Updates will be posted as further information comes to hand.