James' Perfect World

Congratulations, you have found one of the five secret pages! This is one of the easier ones though.

This page is about that wacky guy, James Bellenger. Since I am hacking on him, the least I could do is plug his page . . . but I won't! Ha! take  that, Jimbo! So for everyone else, please sit back and imagine how it would be if we all lived in James' Perfect world . . .

FACIAL HAIR, CRUSTY ROLLS AND TOMATO SAUCE . . .

James has what we shall describe as an odd fixation on small details. Little things, little details are important to him. He is obsessed with the smallest aspect of something. Everything has to be a certain way. He does not like it when things are not as they should be. Here is a description of how things would be if James had his way and the world was to his liking.

In James' perfect world there is much chatter that fills the air. Everyone can understand the chatter as it is in one language, English. There is no other languages in his world. Everyone looks the same in James' Perfect World, white skinned, normal-shaped eyes and no funny poofy voices either.

In the bright sun the people dine on sausage rolls that have the mandatory tomato sauce (one can never feast on a sausage roll without sauce!). Dainty bread rolls are chewed, they are bitten easily through, making soft sounds as the teeth move through the spongy, white flesh. There are no crunchy sounds to distract the attention of the people, no crunchy bread to be seen. This is so as James would have it so. He wishes there not to be any crunchy bread rolls, as they are not meant to be so.

All the people possess perfect and correct minds. There are no 'annoying autistic people' that do weird things. The women are all good looking, and have absolutely no facial hair, as this could only be a sign of masculinity. Women are not meant to have facial hair!

Yes we commemorate this space and just  hope that if this world cannot change, that at least James can be allowed live in such a beautiful and pleasant existence.

Here is a picture of James:

Last updated: 14/01/00