Rear Humour |
1. A Cardiologist's Funeral
One of the city's top cardiac specialists died. At his funeral, his coffin was placed in front
of a huge replica of a heart made of red roses.
When the pastor finished the sermon and everyone said their good-byes, the large heart
opened up, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed again.
It was a majestic tribute to the much-loved cardiologist.
Suddenly, one of the mourners burst into a fit of laughter.
Irritated by his insensitivity, the man sitting next to him asked,
"Why are you laughing, Mister?"
"I was just thinking about my own funeral," the man replied.
"I'm a gynecologist."
2. The Two Singhs
Two Surds, Santa Singh and Banta Singh, go to France on a pleasure trip.
They meet this Frenchman called Jean Paul and become good pals. Jean Paul
finds these two Surds some-what amusing and so he goes all out to make them happy.
He treats them at pubs, bars, discotheques.
This goes on for a while until one fine day Jean Paul does not turn up.
The Surds assume that some important work would have held
him up and do not take a serious note of it. But, perhaps something was
serious as Jean Paul does not turn up for next five days at a stretch.
At this the Surds get alarmed and go to the police station to lodge a complaint.
The inspector asks them to give details of the person who's missing.
The following conversation follows:
Santa Singh: Well, his name is Jean Paul..
Inspector: It's a very common name in France. Something more please..
Banta Singh: Well, he is very tall..
Inspector: Most of the people in France are tall. Big deal..
Santa singh: Well, he's got blue eyes..
Inspector: Oh! no. Something more substantial..
Banta Singh: I got it. This is slightly uncommon. I'm sure now you
shall be able to track him. You see, He's got two holes in his ass..
Inspector: (shocked): Well, well, that's curious. Are you sure?
Banta Singh: Ya! Ya!
Inspector: Are you definitely sure that this very personal info. you
have is CORRECT?
Banta Singh: Most certainly.. Inspector (still skeptical): But how're you so sure?
Banta Singh: Simple. Whenever we used to go with him to the bar,
everyone used to greet him as "Here comes Jean Paul with two ass-holes"
3. A Rabbi and a Priest Buy a Car
A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street
from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in
together
to buy a car.
After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street
between
them.
A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling
water on their new car. It didn't need a wash, so he hurried out and
asked
the priest what he was doing. "I'm blessing it," the priest replied.
The rabbi considered this a moment, then went back inside the
synagogue. He reappeared a moment later with a hacksaw, walked over
to the back of the car and cut off two inches of the tailpipe.
4. Oh, Santa!
A beautiful innocent young lady wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts on a robe and
stays up late on Christmas Eve. Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins
filling the socks. He is about to leave when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous
redhead, says in a sexy voice, "Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away." Santa
replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, gotta go, Gotta get the presents to the children, you
know."
The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice,
"Oh Santa, don't run a mile; just stay for a while..." Santa begins to sweat but replies, "HO
HO HO, Gotta go, Gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
The girl takes off her bra and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay." Santa wipes his brow
but replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, Gotta go, gotta get the presents to the children, you
know."
She loses the panties and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay...." Santa, with sweat
pouring off his brow, says, "HEY HEY HEY, Gotta stay, Gotta stay, Can't get up the
chimney with my pecker this way!!!"