THREE PAINFUL EPISODES |
1.. REDHEAD IN PAIN
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
"No," she says, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken".
2. ABSENT WIFE
A man left work one Friday afternoon. But instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend, hunting with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife and was barraged for nearly 2 hours with a tirade about his actions.
Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for 2 or 3 days?"
To which he replied, 'That would be fine with me."
Well, Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went and he didn't see her.
On Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
3. Premonitions
A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a
story and
listened to her prayers which she ended by saying
God bless Mommy,
God bless daddy,
God bless grandma
and good-bye grandpa.
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye
grandpa?" The little girl
said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The
next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened
to her
prayers, which went like this:
God bless Mommy,
God Bless daddy
and good-bye grandma.
The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh, thought the
father, this
kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad
heard her
say:
God bless Mommy
and good-bye daddy.
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night
and got up
at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day,
had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until
going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"
He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never
believe what happened to me. This morning the Mailman dropped dead on our
porch."