More Quotes from the Morons that Populate the Commerce School

I honestly wish I made this shit up. Unfortunately, people like this are really out there, hidden among us people with positive IQs.

In marketing class, otherwise known as “This class is so fucking boring I’d rather shave my testacles with a machete coated in chocolate giraffe semen and lick it off”, we were talking about how company’s differentiate between different brand names operated under the same company. So then this chick, who is from southern Virginia and has the thickest accent, says, “I don’t understand how they differentiate between Coke and Coca Cola.” Although not audible over my hysteric laughing and sarcastic comments, the teacher responds, “Umm, there the same thing.”

She then replies, “oooooohhhhh, ever since I was little I never understood the difference between Coke and Coca Cola.” Wow, way to save some dignity. The problem is, I can actually imagine her losing sleep as a child trying to figure out the difference between them. Whereas most people take the Coke-Pepsi challenge, she probably took the Coke-Coca Cola challenge.

Honest to goodness, this same chick was back in form only three days later with this gem. Every marketing class we start off by jumping out the window. Those not fortunate enough to make it have to stay and begin class by discussing anything related to marketing that they find interesting. Somehow the experienced soda drinker had some stupidity left in the tank, so she enamors the class with a commercial she saw.”

“In this Toyota commercial, the phone rings at the beginning, and every time I hear it, I go to answer my phone because I think it’s ringing. [At this point, everyone’s laughing at her, instead of just me like usual.] And I thought it was only me that did this, but I was talking to my mom last night and she said she does the same thing!”

HOLY SHIT. I guess the apple fell so close to the tree that it got cracked open on the root and they fucked each other up. It’s a good thing she’s hot, or else she would have gotten a shorter end of the genetic stick than a white midget’s dong.

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