An Introduction to The Gutmeister

A little background as to who I am:

Basically, I'm cooler than you. Not only that, but I'm also cooler than all of your friends. I'm even cooler than all those people you pretend to be friends with in an attempt to fool them into thinking you're cool. Most likely, I'm one of the people you pretend to be friends with, hoping that some of my ample coolness will rub off on you. Unfortunately, your body just repels these unknown coolness photons as it is such an alien concept to you.

You may be thinking, "Gutmeister, if you're so cool, then why are you doing such a 'non-heterosexual thing' like keeping a diary?" (Please note: I'm going to TRY and refrain from offending any particular group of people in my entries, although this will likely be very hard and last a short amount of time.)

But first of all, mine's not a diary, it's Kick-Ass Website. In fact, if I ever write about my feelings (unless it's making fun of someone) then I hereby give anyone permission to kick my ass. And I don't just mean give it a swift kicking, I mean full-fledged ass-whooping with some good old-fashioned derogatory comments thrown in. However I must warn you, the last person that hit me injured their hand on my enormous muscles. Granted it was a girl, but still, she learned a valuable lesson. Second, I'm bored, so why the fuck not. Lastly, you're reading it, so how much more of a loser does that make you?

Also, I don't masturbate to lines of html code, so I'm not going to spend extra time making the site look as bad-ass as it really is. Coding takes up valuable ass-kicking time, and the latter is way too valuable to give up.

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