Stop Talking

So I wanted to actually get some work done today, but this fucking whore sitting next to me is the most annoying in-bred I've ever met. Now I don't mean amy harm to whores in general--because they're a fun-loving bunch--but this particular one gives whores everywhere a bad name.

ALL SHE FUCKING DOES IS TALK OUT-LOUD.

But actually, this isn't that surprising upon further inspection. Because she is the least interesting/funny/[any positive attribute imaginable] bitch ever, she has now become used to no one ever listening to her. Therefore, the only way she can get anyone to listen is to do it herself, which must be torture even for her.

I would rather pluck out my pubes one by one and floss with them each night before I go to bed than listen to her recite her fucking schedule for the day one more time. Even the risk of a dingleberry getting lodged in my teeth while flossing with afore mentioned pubes and having the dingleberry gradually disintegrate in my mouth while I sleep causing arguably the worst breath known to mankind would be preferable to listening to this rambling moron.

As if this weren't enough, she also talks in a baby voice. Luckily for me, a dude down the hall has the name, "Mike." "Miikeey, my phone isn't working. Miiiikey come help." WHA-WHA-WHA. I'll help shove that fucking phone up your ass if it would help you shut-up. My guess is, the company disconnected her phone so the only person she can bother is herself and those lucky enough to be sitting near her.

Further enhancing the prospect of my jumping out the window, she just started talking to her papers: "Why are you guys over here? I'm gonna put you riiight there. Perfect." If paper had the physical capabilities, it would somehow heat itself up and burn a slow, painful death instead of having to sit on her desk.

Finally, after she told me (I didn't realize she was talking to me until she repeated the same thing 4 times which is two more than usual) that someone "was sweepy," I decided I'd do the world a huge service so I judo-chopped her in the throat, effectively muting her. I'm sure somehow she'll find a way to be annoying even just by using sign language, but until the virus is able to adapt, I may actually be able to concentrate.

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