Wild Boy - Part 1

Wild Boy

How long had it been since I last came in contact with the outside world, I myself wasn't very sure anymore. Living in a dark cell, I had lost count of the days, months and years. Everyday was a routine to me since I started serving my time here. I had to do community work like painting the walls of the old folks' home, fixing the broken roof of the orphanage or cleaning the streets.

But I didn't really mind doing all these. It kept my mind occupied. It was the night that I dreaded. In the still of the night, when sleep eluded me, my mind began to wander back to the past. A past, which I used to think, was a glory, now it was nothing but shame and guilt.

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I was very young then, only 16, brash and rebellious, always looking out for adventures and risks. Being an orphan, I was a wild child since young despite the good teachings I received from the orphanage. I wasn't one who obeyed rules. I preferred life on the street. I joined gangs who promised me nothing but fun. Fun as in illegal motorbike racings, causing disturbances in public places and extorting money from scared vendors on the streets. We gatecrash parties, making a nuisance of ourselves. To me, there was nothing more exciting than these. I didn't care if people said I was being led astray or I was a hooligan. I only knew that I enjoyed myself very much. We were practically lawless and notorious; we were the terrors of the neighborhood.

The more I joined them, the bolder I got. So, one day, when the gang leader suggested that we hit a high time, I have no qualms over it. I needed the money badly too. My childhood sweetheart Hilde was pregnant with my child. She was from a good family while I was just a street kid. But fate brought us together when I saved her from some would-be rapists. We loved each other very much but I knew her parents disliked me tremendously. They objected to our relationship, seeing no future in it since I was nothing but a hoodlum. How could I take good care of their daughter? But Hilde stood by me as she always had. Hence, no matter how irresponsible I was, I still got to take care of my woman and my unborn baby.

A 24-hour convenience store was our target. The five of us surveyed the store for a month before we strike. We knew exactly when the store proprietor would leave with the day's earning. At the precise time, we rushed into the store and held the store proprietor at knifepoint. We rummaged through the cash register, pulling out the bills. I grabbed the tempting bills and shoved them into my pockets.

The unexpectedly appearance of a checkout girl from the back of the store nearly scared the daylights out of us. The girl stared at us before letting out a bloodcurdling scream. We turned panicked. In a moment of folly, I grabbed a beer bottle from a rack and hit her hard on the head. The bottle shattered and the girl dropped to the floor lifelessly. I could only stared.

/ Oh, God…what have I done? /

"Hey, Maxwell! What the fuck did you do that for? You killed the girl!" the gang leader shouted at me angrily.

"I….I don't mean to kill her." I dropped the bottle from my shaky hand.

As fate had it, two off-duty policemen walked into the store for coffee. The moment they saw the situation, they grabbed their guns. All of us scrammed quickly. I was reaching the door when hands pulled me back, pinning me down. My arms were held tight and I heard a metallic click behind me.

/ No!!!!! /

I shouted after my fellow gang members and none of them took notice of me. They disappeared without sight into the dark night. So much for our 'brotherhood'. These people who called themselves my brothers; my friends had abandoned me to shoulder all the responsibilities by myself.

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In the next half an hour, the usually dull and quiet neighborhood had suddenly spurred into life in the middle of the night. Police and investigators were snapping photos around the store, gathering evidence of the crime and checking for fingerprints. The town folks joined in the commotion. They gathered outside the store, gossiping and chattering excitedly.

"Maxwell has been caught." "Serves him right. I knew that kid is going to get it one of these days."

As the policemen led me into the patrol car, some of the neighbors actually cheered. They should be happy that one of the 'terrors' was finally gotten rid of. I hung my head in shame. Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed someone looking at me with eyes full of tears of sadness and disappointment. Hilde. I couldn't meet her eyes; I was so ashamed of myself. I have let her down.

I was charged in the subordinate court for armed robbery and causing grievance hurt to an unarmed person. I was lucky that the girl was only hurt, not dead. Otherwise, I will be charged for manslaughter. Standing before the judge and jury, I felt my body went limp when they passed the sentence. As I was still a minor, I was sentenced to three years in the boys' reformatory.

/ Three years in the reformatory!? /

I could almost picture my life in there. Whatever future I have was all ruined. As I leave the courtroom, escorting by two policemen, I saw Hilde sitting at the audience stand. She was crying uncontrollably over my predicament. My heart winced in pain to see her so sad, so miserable because of me. I mouthed her the words, "I'm sorry." Words that can never make up for what I have done.

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Hilde visited me at the reformatory. She was very concerned over my well being in the center while I was more concerned on having my revenge on my fellow gang members. I was very bitter by their betrayal. I was plotting on how to make them pay.

Slowly, my anger and my thirst for revenge mellowed. The time I spent in the confinement of the reformatory had straightened my thoughts. I began to see life from a different angle. I began to question myself what was my real purpose in life? For once, I gave my future a serious thought.

Did I really want to live my life on the dangerous side, fearing everyday, not knowing when I will get myself killed? Or did I want to live my life to its fullness, for myself, for Hilde and our child? It was the thought of Hilde and our child that kept me going. I was determined to turn over a new leaf.

But Hilde had stopped visiting me. I was getting worried. She should have given birth by now. Why didn't she visit me with the baby? I wanted so much to see my child. Day after day, I was expecting her visit but there was none. I had lost contact with her completely. I contemplated to escape from the reformatory to look for her but decided against it at the last minute. I had made a mistake once; I can't afford to make another. So, I entrusted one of my inmates who was leaving the reformatory to try and locate Hilde for me. The news that he brought me was very disturbing. Hilde had gotten married to someone else. There was no mention of our child. I was devastated. Why didn't she wait for me? What happened to our child? These unanswered questions were driving me insane but there was nothing I can do, except keep on praying that they were all right.

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Months turned into years and soon it was time for me to leave the reformatory. This was the day I had been waiting for. The warden returned me my stuff and gave me a stern piece of advice.

"Young man, from now on, live your life well. Don't ruin it again. I don't wish to see you in here again."

I gave the warden an assuring nod. I would never ever want to step into this place again.

Stepping of out the confinement, I took a deep breath. The air outside felt so good; the feeling of freedom was so overwhelming. The first thing I had in mind was to look for Hilde. I wanted to see her and my child so badly. I wanted to know what happened to them since Hilde last visited me in the reformatory. Armed with the address from my ex-inmate, I set out for the place.

The address took me to a high-class residential area. As I came to a beautiful bungalow house surrounded by high walls and heavy grails, which reminded me of the reformatory, I began to wonder if I got the address correct. Did Hilde really live here? There was only one way to find out. I rang the doorbell.

A servant answered the door. Looking at my somewhat plain dressing, the servant asked me tartly who I was looking for. I asked for Hilde and gave the servant my name. The servant eyed me suspiciously again before disappearing behind the closed door. I was kept waiting at the front gate. A while later, a woman dressed in fine silk and satin walked down to the gates. Hilde? I almost couldn't recognize her. Dressed in such finery, she looked more like a model walking out of a fashion page. She looked at me with a mixed of shock and surprise on her face.

"You have been released?" she asked me in a nervous tone.

I nodded. "How have you been?"

"Fine…..fine." She avoided my gaze.

"What….what happened to the baby?" I asked, an unknown feeling of fear suddenly crept into my heart. "Is the baby….?"

"The child…she is fine," Hilde answered hesitantly, looking most uncomfortable.

"She?" I looked up at the big mansion. "Where is she? I want to see her."

Hilde had a fearful look in her eyes. She turned pale, keeping her silence. Suspicion aroused in me. What was wrong?

"Hilde, I want to see my daughter," I demanded, fixing her a hard glare.

Hilde broke down and cried.

"She…she is not here, " Hilde revealed in a small voice.

I turned impatient with thousand questions in my head. What was going on? Why was Hilde hiding information from me? Why all these secrecy?

"What exactly happened, Hilde? Why isn't the child with you? Where is she?"

"She…she…is in a foster home with my parents' distant relatives."

I couldn't believe my ears. I felt anger exploding in me.

"She? You…..you abandoned our child to marry a rich guy?" My tone was getting nasty and harsh.

She cried harder. "You don't understand. You are not with me; I can't find a proper job to support us. My parents refused to take me back unless I gave her up and marry the one they chose. I can't take care of her by myself. I have to work at odd hours and it was too stressful for me having to juggle between jobs and taking care of her. I know I am not a good mother but I really have no choice. Please understand."

I was angry, really angry but more at myself than at Hilde. It was my fault. If I weren't in the lockup, they wouldn't have ended like this. It was my entire fault, I brought these on them. My child, my poor child.

I took a good look at Hilde. She was on the verge of a depression. She may be living a luxurious life but I could tell that she was very unhappy. It was obvious that hers was a loveless marriage. For a moment, I really pitied her.

"Where is that foster home?" I asked, my thoughts going back to my child.

Hilde looked up at me uncertainly. "At my hometown in Payne County. Her name is Sarah."

"Sarah….."

Hilde nodded. "It means princess in Hebrew. I thought you will like the name."

"Sarah…." I whispered the name again.

Slowly, I turned and left that place. I ignored Hilde's begging for my forgiveness for what she had done. Though what she had done was unforgivable but she was forced under the circumstances too. We had nothing to do with each other anymore. Now I only wanted to find my child, my princess, Sarah.

~~ End Of Part 1 ~~