(Hunter)
By: Akkiko
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and am in no way saying I own any of the charictors unless I made them.
Authors Note: This chapter makes a good point but I`ll let you try to figure it out. E-mail me and tell me what you think. Also, Trowa has a little less discription in this chapter. That`s because he already has the hunter heart but she needs to retain it. Never mind, you`ll see.
Chapter 5: I Want to be a Hunter Again
Jester sighed as she looked out at the sunset and saw her reflection in the sky. Kala had gone to sleep hours ago. Trowa and Jester both thought that if she was from another demention the trip took a lot out of her. Jesters mind was on the odd proposal. She had a chance at having meaning, that was something she had never had before. She could remember each mission she had gone on, each death she had caused. She hated herself for those deaths but a part of her, a very deep and dark part of her, loved the thrill of the hunt. That used to be all there was for her.
She looked at the circus tent. Three years had gone by since she had killed her last person. How fitting that her favorite animals were lions. It was odd in a way too. Why didn`t she have an unexplainable fear? She sighed and turned to her bedroom. Trowa was in it sitting on the bed looking equilly in thought. She grinned and went into the trailer.
He lifted the covers up so they could get close than he rubbed cicles on her back. "I just don`t know Trowa. Part of me wants to go but part of me doesn`t."
He sighed and nodded as he kissed a trail down her collor bone. She sighed. "Let`s sleep on it. I do mean sleep too." She looked down at him with a frown but knew what he meant. She was tired. Too tired for what he had in mind.
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jester Leona stood in a field with a smirk on her face. Next to her was Jester Barton. One was dressed in black and one in white. The one in black, Jester Leona, was the first to speak. "You got rid of me Jester. Why?"
Jester Barton sighed. "Because you`re evil. I know you didn`t mean to be but you are. I need to live life without you now."
Jester Leona sighed and looked seriouse. This was the real her. She was a sad and angry girl. "I know that. Think of all the fun you had though! You were feared! You were a hunter. Look, I`m not going to ask you to be evil again just get your hunter heart back. Go through your heart for me ok? Let me know I haven`t died completely."
Jester Barton gasped. Everyday of her old life she woke up hoping she would make it. It was her only wish. every burn she got from her teachers hot coffee made her work harder to get through it. She had a fear of dying. With a sigh of resignition she nodded. "Alright." Jester Leona smiled and disappeared like smoke. Jester Barton turned and started to tramp to the woods that had appeared suddenly behind her. Her clothes had changed from her last visit.
Her hair had been braided and was held in place with a piese of leather. She had animal skin skirt and shirt on. The shirt was just a triangle of cloth that went over her chest and hovered above her belly. Two pieses of string held it on her. The skirt went to mid thiegh and it was fringed with animal teeth. There was a slit up the back that allowed her more free movement. Her hands had a brace type thing made of seaweed that went to her elbow just like before and her feet had boots that were lighter than she would have thought by just looking at them. Also in her hand she had a spear.
"Lie on your back on the ground and wait." Jester jumped at the sudden voice. It was a gental mans voice, from the sounds of it an older man. She did as she was told. She felt something creep up her legs. It wasn`t anything small like a lizard, it was a massive animal. Whatever it was, it was sniffing her until it finally came to her face. "You can open your eyes now." She opened them slowly afraid of what she would find. What she saw made her scream. It was a lion but not any normal lion. He was black with red eyes. He sat on his haunches and let out an annoyed sigh. "I`ll be your guide. Anything you find in here will be explained in time."
She nodded and stood up shakily grabbing her spear. "Right. And who are you?" He simply growled slightly at her making her yelp and back into a tree. He seemed quite proud of this. She started walking with him behind her. She was looking back so much that she didn`t see the snake she was about to step on. She would have stepped on it if the lion behind her hadn`t warned her.
She looked down at it and saw that it was a constrictor which had a firm hold around her feet. This made her fall over. She looked at the lion. "What do I do!"
The lion sat on it`s haunches. "Everything in this forest represents something you need to conquar or let out. Oh and you have a spear, use it." She shrugged and picked up the spear aiming it at the snake but before she could strike the snake reared it`s head and snapped at her. She ducked just in time but was still working on wiggling out of the coils which were getting tighter by the minute.
She looked around frantically and finally saw something she could use. She grabbed a large rock and smashed the snakes head just as it got to her stomech. when the coils loosened and she got out of them she looked at the snake. "What did that represent? What did I kill?"
The lion looked up. "You didn`t kill it you conqored it. That snake was something that continually wraps itself around your life and around your mind. The harder you try to pull away the tighter it sqeezes. You wanted it out of your life but it`s still there. You can`t escape it and you know it but you don`t know why."
She sighed and dropped her head. "My power." The lion smiled again and kept walking. She followed him. Up ahead they both heard a growl. Jester prepared to fight but when a small bear cub came out she stopped. "Do I conquar it or let it out?"
The lion sat on it`s haunches and batted the little cub away from him annoyingly. "You must decide. These are the things you have always tried to hide."
She sighed and knelt next to the little cub. "Memories." As she stroked the thick fur a glowing trail was left where her hand was. The cub growled a little and chewed playfully on her hand. Life events flashed before her eyes.
She remembered saving No Name on the cliff. She was late for training but she took the time to save him. When she got back she was beat for being late. From the time she was seven years old she was the most feared assasin in the world. She was a hunter. Until now she had forgotten why she became a hunter. She knew she could kill people without causing pain. She could kill that dragon without causeing pain to it. That was why they needed a telopath.
The little bear licked her hand and walked away. She looked at the lion. "What did I do?"
The lion smiled again. "You figured it out. The reason you became an assasin was because you knew anyone else would cause pain but you knew you wouldn`t. It was only after your training and after you pent up all your anger that you began to enjoy it. Oh, and the dragon deserves everything it gets for killing all those people. Your victoms didn`t deserve pain, so at first you didn`t give them any." She nodded and they continued their jorney.
The lion suddenly slunk into the shadows and she stopped. Straight ahead was a dragon. It was red with scals smeared in blood that had dried and turned to a rust color. Jester started to shake slightly and she took a few steps back. The dragon pushed her further until she realized that she had come to a cliff. She readied her spear. "Bad dragon!" The dragon growled and shot a plume of fire at her making her dive to the side.
The dragon finally stamped on her hand making her scream in pain than it leaned down next to her ear. She hadn`t noticed before but the lion had returned. "What do you think it stands for?"
She cowered away from it`s nostrals. Always a fire inside, always the thing that conqoured her and left her to helplessly cause pain. "Uh," She ducked under a swipe "...anger?"
The lion gave her a toothy smile. "Right. Unfortunately the only way to get rid of this one is to think it through. So, I`m listning."
She snapped her head over to him. "What! I`m supposed to think with this thing over me!" The lion nodded and she sighed as she avoided another plume of fire. "I was always mad at the world for not understanding me and for thinking I would hurt them. I only wanted to be free and normal! That was it!" The dragon looked down at her as a glowing appeared on her chest.
The lion sighed and flopped on the ground. "You now have the power to conqor your anger."
She nodded and grabbed her spear paying no attention to the pain in her hand. The dragon backed away slightly and growled at her than roared. She relaxed her face, she remembered the way her parents had pushed her out of her house. If they wouldn`t have done that she wouldn`t have meant Trowa and she would have never known there were people like her out there. It still hurt her though. With a war cry she charged forward and landed a good hit on the dragon with the spear.
A glowing heart started to float in the air. It pumped once but than stopped. She glared at the dragon. It had ruined her life on many accounts. She charged forward and stabbed it again with the spear. This time the dragon fell with a thud. She felt at peace for some reason. "Wait a minute, I didn`t really do anything."
The lion looked at her and growled slightly. "Yes you did. Inside you there is a battle being wadged. You are steadily winning it. All the animals here represent a virtue or feeling. They are the symbols of that feeling or virtue. When you conqor them you are showing yourself that you are strong enough to win your war and by doing so you are more prepared to fight your war."
She nodded and they continued walking. She heard a small yelp up ahead and when she looked through the trees she saw a little puppy tied to a tree. It looked up at her and let out a long whine. The lion walked up behind her. "Ah yes, this is the one you know the least."
She reached out to undo it but her hands wouldn`t move to do it. She looked at the puppy and saw how much it was scratching. It had been hidden here for a long time. She understood. "Compassion. I always wanted to make it seem like I was in the assasin buisness to kill. In reality I wanted for these people to die painlessly. I had to hide that though or no one would hire me and I would have starved." Her hands obeyed her mind and soon the puppy bounded out of the leaves and off through the forest.
There was a slight growl from the lion and than a small growl from something else in the woods. Jester turned and saw an adorable little alian type thing. Her imagination, that must have been what it was. It looked like a small bush baby but the eyes were bigger and it was much cuter. It was also hurt she noticed. The lion snorted in disdain for some reason. She looked up at him. "What does it stand for?"
He put one paw up in a innocent manner. "Don`t ask me, this is your mind."
She sat back with her legs crossed and looked at the little alian. It was crying and so she disregarded the lions words and moved to help it. As soon as she was ready to touch the little thing it showed it`s fangs which were very long for being in such a small mouth. It ran after her with teeth bared making her back away quickly. It also succeded in ripping a small piese of her skin off. She looked at her hand which now had blood gushing from it. "I lash out at people that try to help. I do it to prove that I am strong enough to take care of myself." The cut on her hand seemed to seal itself and so she grabbed her spear and hit the animal with it until it disappeared in a small heap of smoke.
She followed the lion to a large field where she saw a single gazzel. It was hurt and limping. It seemed to see her and saw that it was part of her so it walked up ot her. As it walked it held it`s head up high trying to keep from limping. She snorted knowing right off what it was. "Pride. My pride was hurt when Trowa got into my mind. It was also hurt when he saved me."
The lion yawned. "Mm-hm. The thing is though that Jester Leona was full of pride. That was why she killed those who crossed her. When she was captured it hurt her pride too but she refused to show it. This is something you need to fix and than keep under wraps."
She nodded and leaned forward, gently touching all the wounds on the gazzel. It was soon proud again. It bowed it`s head in a thank you and than galloped away. She realized that her pride had kept her alive through all these years. She has had it hurt many times in simple things like being saved. The thing she now understood though was that she should have pride for what she had been through. She killed one of the strongest know telopaths in the world.
The lion behind her came up and sat on his haunches again. "Not much further don`t worry. Let`s go get a drink shall we?" She nodded and followed him to a huge watering hole where flamingoes had flocked. As soon as they saw her they rushed to her side and gently bit her in greeting. She laughed because it had tickled.
"My friends." They all flew away suddenly making her frown slightly but she saw one standing in the water. He was white with a plume of feathers that swept over his eyes. "Trowa." He walked to her calmly and looked at her. She understood. "All the friends in my life have left me for one reason or another. Trowa was the only one who kept my heart from becoming a void. He filled it as much as he could and made me feel love." The lion was drinknig but he nodded between gulps. This wasn`t taking as long as he thought it would.
She hummed and stood up reluctantly leaving the flamingo that reprsented Trowa. She was now lead to a field where she ducked just in time as a vulture dived at her. She finally dashed into the woods and waited for it to come before she struck out with the spear and hit it in the wing making it go down. The lion didn`t seem phased by this. "What`s that!"
He sighed and simply licked his chops. "You figure it out. I`m only here to explain stuff. You`re the one that created them!"
She tramped to the bird which was on the ground now laying motionless. It stank and she could see scars all over it. It took her a while to figure it out but those were scars from a beak. She also saw the blood on the birds beak that had dried. She hung her head. "Guilt. Guilt for the people I killed, guilt for those I tried to kill, guilt for being an assasin."
The lion sat behind her. "Did you have a choice for any of those?"
She shook her head and lifted her spear but couldn`t bring herself to kill the guilt she felt. "Am I supposed to kill it?"
He simply looked at her but finally spoke. "It is good to have a certain ammunt of guilt. It keeps you from making the mistakes again. You need to stop beating yourself up over things that are done though. All the people you killed were in a war. They knew the consinquenses and it was their fault that they were killed! You were ordered to and you had the power to! The best thing is that the first ones felt no pain." She nodded and the birds scars disappeared and it flew off lazily.
She smiled as a lioness came from the woods. The lion behind her stalked off but she stared at the other lion that had emerged. "Another one?"
The lioness sat in front of her. "You are a huntress and always have been Jester. It is now your duty to go and save all those people. Guilt will always be there but don`t you think you should save lives now?"
Jester knelt with her spear sticking up in the air. "Honor. That meant so little to me when I was an assasin. Now it means everything to me. I seperated Jester Leona from me. That`s why my hunters heart is dead. I should have combined them." The lioness nodded.
The black lion now came up and sat down. "Have you figured me out yet?"
He seemed to be smiling as she thought. "Fear. You`ve guided me through my whole life. Fear of losing control of my power made me learn to control it. Fear of the past made me hide my memories. Fear of my compassion made me hide it. I was so nice it scared me. Fear of being used made me lash out at poeple trying to help me. Fear made everyone but Trowa fly away from me. Fear of losing control of my anger made me hold it inside. Fear of being overcome by guilt made me hurt myself so no one would know how i felt. Fear hurt my pride. I depend on my fear to stay alive. Why can I talk to you?"
The lion licked his chops again. "You fear lions from your past life. They guide you in this one. You can talk to me because you have learned to have a more healthy fear. It took a long time but you finally controlled your fear and turned it into fear of being caught or fear of dieing. You always look at your fears when making a desision and you always look at fears to keep you from hurting yourself." She nodded and the two lions disappeared along with the dream.
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Trowa sat on the rock overlooking the ocean. "Trowa you already have a hunter heart so if you want to go you can. This is the nobal thing to do." Trowa nodded and turned around. The dragon was there again. It represented his fears which he had over come but he also saw a small puppy next to it.
"My memory." The drogon nodded and watched Trowa as he went over to the puppy and picked him up. He remembered his life but he now had to act on it. "I did so much wrong. I hurt so many people."
The dragon nodded slightly. "Indeed, but you also saved lives. I order for a lot of people to live a few must die. That`s the point."
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Trowa and Jester sat up at the same time. They made eye contact and knew what they had to do. There was an irresistable urge to go with the woman and so they both got dressed and went to the kitchen. She was already up and sipping on coffee. "So, decided yet?"