30-Aug-2000
Archive: All those with prior permission are welcome (and hugged profusely) to archive this. Email me at the the address at the bottom of this page if you'd like to ask. :-)
[Note: all fics accessible @ http://www.oocities.org/fenris_wolf0]
Category: Songfic. Shonen ai. MAJOR SAP. OOC Heero.
Pairings: 1+2
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is quite sadly not mine, but in fact the property of Bandai, Sunrise, and other large corporations and companies I have no affiliation with. (Again, quite sadly.) The lyrics to Love Comes Tumbling belong to U2, and comes from their album, Wide Awake in America, which you should really buy.
Warning/Rating: PG. Sappier-than-thou, guaranteed. (Nice for closet romantics, however.)
Feedback: Hit me!
Note: Text enclosed in [...] indicate lyrics.
I know the look in your eyes; it comes every single time I say, "Mission accepted." Your violet gaze is suddenly more liquid-- a hint of fear lurking at the rims. I know it hurts you when I walk out that door, because we both know that I might not come back. Every single time I have to fight not to look back-- not because I don't love you, koi-- because the sight of you pressed against the bedroom glass cracks something vulnerable inside of me. Every time I walk away, something shatters and presses against my heart.
But I do what I have to do.
[…The seed is spilled, the bed defiled
For you a virgin bride
I'm yourself in someone else
Don't find yourself in me…]
You're like blood to me.
Whatever you possess fits with me like you were always that innate missing part and being with you, around you (touching tasting feeling you), moving with and against you, kissing you, being asleep by your slumbering form clicks the inner mechanisms that make me feel complete. And when I'm there with you, I never worry that I could die tomorrow-- when I see your eyes, the universe is comprised of two people: you and me, and when I lay my head on your chest, synchronizing the beat of our hearts until they could be mistaken for one, the universe expands and contracts; until the very beat and throb and rhythm of life matches your breathing.
[…I can't lift you up again
Love comes tumbling down again…]
And there are the intimate moments when the world is asleep and motions come that are reserved for me alone. There is a certain tone to your voice that matches the sharpness of your angular body, the looseness of your hair-- something viciously beautiful and masculine-- and the sight and smell and touch and experience of you-- body and psyche-- and I feel like I'm on the verge of it all: that everything I need to know is laid out before me, beneath me, and that the answers to all my questions is somehow locked in a sensual smile and a lazy drawl. And there's nothing I can do but stroke your cheek and pull you closer, until where your limbs end and mine begin is indistinct and it's merely US, in the most singular sense of the word.
[…Love don't need to find a way
You find your own way
I forget that you can stay
And so I say that…]
I know that I can only whisper these things when it's the dead of the night and you're asleep, but I'm sure that you have some sixth sense that knows and understands and hears these confessions. I never want you to hurt-- I will fight and kill and die a thousand times over, if need be, to protect you, to make sure you sleep peacefully, to make sure you wake to see another glorious sunrise and live to see another magnificent sunset: to make sure your eyes are always bright, to make sure you can always laugh, to make sure you can breath this way at night, the steady rise and fall of your chest-- can you hear me?-- because I love you so much that pain and bliss conjoin and tears are joyous and laughter is sorrowful and this-- everything, all-- is meaningful beyond comprehension, understanding, and awareness. This-- essence of you and I-- good and evil-- day and night-- infinite time-space that we share is defining.
(infatuation love obsession lust connection)
I see salvation in your plum-and-lilac eyes: a redemption, a promise that Love Heals, something sacred that saves my soul from grief and consumption and blocks the war out from my eyes. Something that takes the pain away.
[…All roads lead to where you are
All roads lead to where you are…]
Because you are everything, everything is you (you-- asleep fumbling dreaming breathing being-- my existence, subsistence)-- I'll always come back to you, Duo; I'll always come back to us.
[fin]
Jay's Ramblings: Can you tell I love 1x2 pairings? ::grins:: This, incidentally, comes from a lot of old love letters I wrote when I was actually with someone. But don't let my ill-fated relationships influence your thinking on 1x2!! ::waves her 1x2 flag, grins::
Jay