Conversations with the Author

By: Lupi

~ Kayley, Quatre, Heero, Duo, Wufei and Trowa lodge their complaints with Lupi, the almighty, all knowing, all seeing author. ~

The six gundam pilots made a stop at Lupi's humble abode to have a friendly word with the author. They are sitting in her bedroom looking at the Gundam Wing pictures on her wall and her Gundam Wing comic books on her shelves.

Lupi- So why exactly are you guys here?

Wufei- We are here to settle our complaints with you, weak woman.

Kayley- Hey Wufei, watch it! I happen to be a woman.

Wufei- Not you. Her. *Points to Lupi*

Lupi- Watch out Wufei, I hold the power to make your life miserable.

Duo- Hey Lupi, you're kinda cute, you wanna go to the movies sometime?

Lupi- Maybe. Now Wufei, what are your complaints?

Wufei- I don't at all like what you're doing.

Lupi- What am I doing?

Wufei- You're writing a love story and making me look like an ass.

Lupi- Say what? Some of it is a love story, and I didn't make you look like an ass! Calm down man.

Wufei- You did make me look like an ass!

Kayley- It doesn't seem like you're an ass to me.

Wufei- Oh shut up you!

Heero- Big mistake Wufei.

Kayley- You've just made a big mistake justice boy! *Kayley punches Wufei in the face and Wufei fall to the floor unconscious*

Trowa- Ouch, that's going to hurt later.

Lupi- Anything else?

Quatre- Why do you keeping trying to kill Kay?

Lupi- I'm not trying to kill her. She's the perfect assassin; she's prone to danger. Heero should know.

Heero- Yes I agree. But I have a question.

Lupi- What Heero?

Heero- Why don't you write intimacy between Relena and me?

Lupi- Because I don't want to. I don't like Relena that much.

Heero- Oh you don't do you? *Heero tries to attack Lupi, Duo steps in front of Lupi*

Duo- Be nice to the cute writer.

Lupi- Thanks Duo, you're so sweet. Heero, calm down! I created Kayley for Quatre, because I figured Dorothy was out of the question because she stabbed him. Everyone who doesn't think you and Duo should get together, puts you with Relena. So go visit them.

Duo- What? Me and Heero? Ewww! Gross. *Looks at Heero and nearly gags*

Trowa- I've read some, they also write some very strange fics with me and Quatre……doing some very strange things.

Kayley- Excuse me? *Kayley's eyes widen, she looks at Quatre and then at Trowa, and her face scrunches up as she imagines such an event* That is just wrong. *Kayley goes and sits on Quatre's lap*

Quatre- I like Kay just fine. *Kisses Kayley passionately, and then it starts to turn physical*

Lupi- Hey hey hey! Not in here! Not in here you two. I'm really not interested in witnessing the conception of your next child.

Kayley- Quatre get off. *Quatre gets off of Kayley and sits back up, Kayley sits back on his lap* Sorry about that.

Lupi- No biggie. Just next time, don't do it on MY bed.

Kayley- I actually do have a question. Why am I such a short and lightweight person?

Lupi- Because I'm a short and lightweight person, and I based your character on me.

Kayley- Really?

Lupi- Yeah. *Kayley scratches head*

Kayley- Okay, that's weird.

Lupi- Hey I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it and make another one just like you! (1) So be nice.

Kayley- Okay, calm down oh uptight one.

Lupi- Any more complaints? Make it quick, if my parents come home and find five strangers sitting in my room and one unconscious Chinese guy on my floor, I'm dead meat!

Trowa- How old are you?

Lupi- Why?

Trowa- Seriously, how old are you?

Lupi- Sixteen. *Duo's eyes go wide*

Duo- Only sixteen? Aww man! You are way too young for me. Man I wish I was sixteen!

Lupi- Sorry man. *Wufei starts to stir on the floor* Hi Wufei, I'll bet your face hurts don't it?

Wufei- Shut up woman. *Lupi sticks her tongue out at Wufei*

Kayley- Step away from the lightning bolt. (2) *Quatre looks at Kayley with curious face*

Quatre- What?

Kayley- It's what you say when you insult god or a parent or something, you say 'Step away from the lightning bolt'. *Lupi scratches her head*

Lupi- Okay then. So how long will you guys be in Jersey?

Duo- A week or so. When we found out you were in New Jersey, we decided to visit you and then find somewhere interesting to go.

Lupi- Well, there's Six Flags Great Adventure. You'd like that Duo……and we've got the Jersey Shore and all the beaches. Oh and you should go to New York City, that's a great place to visit if you have the time.

Kayley- Sounds great.

Lupi- If you go to Six Flags, lemme know how it is. And force Wufei on the Great American Scream Machine, he'll hate it and it'll be great to see him scream.

Duo- Sounds good. *Laughs mischievously and sports and evil grin*

Wufei- Don't try it Maxwell. *Suddenly red horns sprout out of Duo's head, and a curly black mustache and little goatee appear on his face*

Lupi- Duo that is just great. Damn, you're the best.

Duo- I know.

Lupi- Well you guys should go, if my parents come home and see you guys here, they'll think something crazy and I'll be grounded until I'm fifty. But come back and visit me sometime.

Trowa- Yeah sure.

Quatre- Okay.

Kayley- Oh and try to get your stories to Lyndaura and her nice chibi monkey Pyro George. You're WAY too slow.

Lupi- Hey, what did I tell you oh British one! I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it and make another one just like you! Besides, have you ever met Pyro George?

Kayley- No. *Lupi smiled evilly*

Lupi- He's a green chibi monkey who loves fire. And if you're not nice to him, he'll cut off your hair and set it on fire. If you give him, oh say, truckloads of oil, he'd be really happy. But anyway, I'll get my stuff to them as soon as possible.

Kayley- Okay okay. Bye bye.

Quatre- Bye.

Duo- So long.

Heero- Goodbye.

(1) I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it and make another one just like you! ----My mom says that to me all the time.. I decided to use it.

(2) Step away from the lightning bolt. ----My mom also says that when I punch her in the arm (NOT real punch, just goofing around) and it's just meant to be funny.

Author's notes: I don't own Gundam Wing. Those cool Japanese dudes and those weird Bandai dudes own them. Not me. I own Kayley, but that's it. I was seriously on something when I wrote this, so don't mind the idiocy of it all. The next one I write will involve a character of my mom's. So wait 'til that comes along.