Author's Notes: This one is crazy. It happens before Twelve Years in Twelve Days, I'm like Geogre Lucas, I do it all outa order. Hebephrenic schizophrenia in Kayley's case is one in which the voices do sort of a running commentary on the person's status and the like and it will get worse in the sequal to this. The child abuse warning is the forced abortion because technically since Kayley is 17, she is a minor, and forcing an abortion in such a way is child abuse. 'Demoiselle Trepas' is french for 'Lady Death' and yes I know 'morte' is death but 'trepas' is the poetic form of death in french, so you canadian people who know a lot more than me please don't kill me! I know the Arabic in here is gonna be strange because I got it from an Arabic phrase book, that's why only lil sentances are in Arabic. In here I had Dorothy like Quatre (4xD <---- EVIL) and shit and that's why she's so interested in who Quatre went to the ball with. Okey dokey. And I think that's it. E-mail me and lemme know what you think.

Dreams Never Dreamed

Lupi

 

 

  “I see children playing.  Why couldn’t I ever do that?  I see mothers fixing cuts.  Why couldn’t I have that?  I never once played outside…hell I’ve never once just played.  I never had a mother to make a wound better or to kiss my knee when I cut it.  I never had that.  And I never will.” Kayley thought as she walked down a street in the Sanq kingdom.  She was 17 years old.  Her hair was to her shoulders and was a curly strawberry blonde.  She wore dark sunglasses so no one would recognize her.  She was wearing shorts and a tank top, her strong, muscular arms and legs were free for everyone to see.  She would have preferred pants and a long sleeve shirt, but all she had were the clothes on her back and two guns in her pockets.  The snow was bright white, she saw children throwing snowballs at each other.  She was walking with her arms folded across her chest, in a futile attempt to keep herself a little bit warm.

 

  “Now remember Brett, I’m watching you so NO ice balls!” a mother yelled to her teenage son, who was throwing ice balls at passing cars with his friends.  The boy disregarded his mother and kept making the ice balls.  Kayley was passing the boys when she heard a whistle, when she looked in the direction the whistle came from she saw the group of teenage boys that apparently liked her.  Then without warning a large and hard ice ball hit Kayley on the side of her head, breaking the lens in her sunglasses.  She fell onto the icy sidewalk, her head was bleeding and face was all red.  Brett’s little brother had thrown the ball at Kayley.

 

  “You dumb-ass!” Brett’s friend yelled to the small child.  The boys ran to Kayley and helped her up.  She stood up and put her hand on the wound and looked at the blood on her hand.  She wiped the blood on her already bloodstained shorts.

 

  “Are you okay?” another of Brett’s friends asked of her.  She was silent; she looked around at the boys, who were concerned and all trying to help her at the same time.

 

  “I…I’m fine.” She said, she took off the sunglasses and looked down at the ground so they couldn’t see her face.

 

  “You know, you’re one really ripped chick.” Brett said to her, she wanted to burst out in laughter, but her head was still spinning too fast.

 

  “I’m a really what what?” she asked, not too familiar with teenage slang.  He laughed.

 

  “I like your accent.  I said you’re a ripped chick, ya know buffed up.” He said, she then understood.

 

  “Oh, I see.  Look, I should really go.” She said, and she tried to leave but they stopped her.

 

  “Hey you got a bad cut from that ice ball, maybe you should come inside and let me patch that up for you.” He said and his friends nodded.

 

  “No, it’s fine, I’m used to it.” She said, he laughed.

 

  “Used to what?  Being hit hard with ice balls?” one of his friends asked.

 

  “No, just being hit, bleeding and the like.” She said, then they heard the front door to Brett’s house slam shut and heard footsteps running toward them.

 

  “Are you alright honey.  I’m sorry about my son John, he likes to take after his big brother.” She said looking to her son.

 

  “I’m fine.  And I really need to leave now.” Kayley said, trying to leave the situation before more damage was done.

 

  “Oh no dear, come in and let me fix that cut, and get you some clothes, you’re in shorts and a tank top, you’ve got to be freezing.” She said kindly, Kayley wanted to go with her, but she knew it would never happen.

 

  “I…I…I cannot!  If you saw my face you’d feel differently.” She said, and they laughed.

 

  “Yo, let me see this face of yours babe.” Brett said and he lifted her face up, and his mother sighed.

 

  “I see.  It’s you.  Well…this changes everything doesn’t it?” she said softly.

 

  “I must leave.” She said, she dropped her sunglasses and started running away.  But Brett was running after her.

 

  “Hey wait up!” he yelled, she looked back but kept running.  He tried to grab her hand to get her to stop, but it slipped out of his grasp and she kept running.  He stopped and watched her disappear.

 

  “Yo Brett.” His friend ran up to him and handed him her broken sunglasses.

 

  “She’s gone Marc.  She’s gone.” He said and Marc sighed.

 

  “So what do we do with these, man?” he asked, and Brett looked at them.

 

  “We keep them as a souvenir of our encounter with the perfect assassin.  Who knows maybe we’ll run into her again someday.” He said and they walked back.

 

  Kayley was running, she wanted to be somewhere safe and away from people.  She stayed in a park for a day and then various other empty places.  A week after the encounter with Brett, her skin had become ghostly white and cold as ice.  Her lips were blue, and her fingers purple.  She sat on a bench by an old bookstore.  She wanted so much to cry, but she had forgotten how.

 

  “This is going to be the end of me.  I’m going to freeze to death.  How amusing.” She said, and she stuck her feet in the snow and relaxed.  She closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but a soft, kind voice spoke to her.

 

  “Hey?  What are you doing here?” the voice asked, she opened her eyes.  A blonde boy no older than herself, with soft blue eyes and a kind face was staring at her.

 

  “What?” she asked.

 

  “What are you doing here in the snow, on Christmas?” he asked, she looked at him curiously.

 

  “I have no where else to go.  I’m simply moving from bench to bench.” She said monotonously, he sat down next to her, “Who are you anyway?” she asked, he smiled.

 

  “My name is Quatre Raberba Winner…” he said, but she cut him off.

 

  “The gundam pilot.” She said and his eyes went wide, and he nodded.

 

  “You’re Kayley O’ Conner right?” he asked, she sighed and looked him in the eyes.

 

  “Yes…I am.” She said, he then noticed what she was wearing.

 

  “You must be cold.  Here this’ll keep you warm.” He said and he took off his jacket and put it on her.

 

  “Thank you.”

 

  “Since you have no where to go, why don’t you come with me back to my place?” he asked, she didn’t know what to say.

 

  “What?” she asked.

 

  “Come with me back to my place.” He said, she was bewildered.

 

  “You’re not serious…are you?” she asked, he smiled.

 

  “Yes of course I’m serious.  Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked, as if the answer were obvious.

 

  “Because of what I am.  I mean…why would you want to have me around?” she asked.

 

  “Because you’re all alone.  I want to help you.  Just come with me…please, I promise I won’t bite.” He said, she smiled.

 

  “Alright.  If that is what you want.” She said, he stood up and held her hands.

 

  “It is.  Come on, let’s get you warmed up.  And by the way I really like your accent.” He said and he led her to his estate.  As they walked the wind blew colder and harsher.  Kayley was starting to get too cold to tolerate, even with Quatre’s jacket on.  He noticed how cold she was, he stopped and put his hands on her face, there was no warmth left in her face, “Oh crap, we need to hurry before you freeze to death.” He said, and he hurried her along.  Within ten minutes they were at his home.  It was a very large house.  He brought her inside, when he got in the house he saw Trowa waiting for him.  When Trowa saw that Quatre had brought home a girl he smiled.

 

  “I thought you went to get wine for the party, not a girl.” He said, Quatre smiled, but was preoccupied with the freezing Kayley.

 

  “I was almost there and I saw her outside freezing her ass off in shorts and a tank top.  I couldn’t just leave her there.” He said, but as Trowa examined the girl, he realized who it was.

 

  “Yes you could.  Don’t you know who that is?” he said flatly.  Quatre moved her to the stairs.

 

  “Ellen!” he called, Ellen was the maid, “Yeah I know who she is.  But does this look like a perfect assassin to you?” he asked, and before Trowa could answer Ellen arrived.

 

  “What is it?” she asked.

 

  “I need you to help me get her warmed up.” He said, and as they spoke Kayley simply listened to all that was going on around her while trying to stay conscious.

 

  “Yes sir.” She said slowly and they brought Kayley upstairs to a guestroom and Quatre took his coat off of her and put a blanket over her while Ellen got a hot bath ready for her, “Okay sir the bath is full, you can go.” She said, Quatre looked puzzled.

 

  “Huh?”

 

  “Well in order for her to get in the bath, she’d need to remove her clothes.  And a boy shouldn’t see a girl naked if he’s not dating her or married to her.  That’s just the way it is sir.  Now you go prepare for the party and I’ll take care of her.” She said, and Quatre laughed.

 

  “Okay, okay.  I’m leaving.” He said and he looked at Kayley, “It’s okay.  Ellen will help you.” He said and he closed the door and went to prepare for the party.  Ellen took the blanket off of Kayley.

 

  “You’ll want to take your clothes off dear.” Kayley complied.  Ellen was a tall woman in her mid 60’s.  She had white hair and green eyes; she had an authoritative demeanor, but a kind face, like that of a grandmother.  She led Kayley to the bathtub and Kayley stepped in.  Ellen went to get a blow dryer for Kayley’s hair because was covered in ice and snow.  Kayley sat in the bath trying to decipher the past few hours.

 

  “Maybe this is one of those delusions again.  Maybe it’s the schizophrenia thing again…this can’t be real…can it?” she thought, what was happening was making no sense at all to her.  Ellen came back and sat on a stood by Kayley’s head, and she began to blow dry Kayley’s hair.

 

  An hour later all of Quatre’s guests arrived, he spoke nothing of the girl upstairs but Trowa informed Duo, who told Wufei, who in turn told Heero.  Heero was very angry, he knew who she was, and knowing Quatre had her upstairs pissed him off.  Heero decided to find out if what he heard was true.

 

  “Quatre we need to talk.” He said, and Quatre followed him to a separate room, “Wufei told me that you have Kayley O’ Conner upstairs.”

 

  “Yes I do.  So?” Quatre asked, Heero was infuriated.

 

  “And you haven’t killed her?”

 

  “No.”

 

  “Why?  You have to have a gun around here somewhere.”

 

  “I do but I don’t want to kill her.  I found her nearly frozen to death, I couldn’t leave her out there.”

 

  “Why?  You know what she’s done.”

 

  “Yes I know what she’s done.  Listen we can deal with this later, now we need to keep it quiet.” Quatre said, Heero left and went back to the party.  Quatre went back to his guests but then Ellen came down.

 

  “Master?  Do you by chance have a spare set of sweats or something like that?” she asked in a very soft voice, Quatre was curious.

 

  “I might.  What for?”

 

  “For the girl.  All she has is what she was wearing when you found her.  And you two are about the same size, she’s a little shorter and much skinnier, but it’ll keep her warm.” She whispered and Quatre laughed.

 

  “Okay I should have some.  Let me check.” He said and he went into his bedroom.  He came back with black sweatpants and a black sweatshirt; “Here these should work.”

 

  “These are perfect.  Thank you.” She said and she went back upstairs.  Kayley was still in the tub, she had not gained much color and her lips were still blue and her fingers still purple, “Miss O’ Conner, I got some sweats, so you can come out now.” She said and she handed Kayley a towel, she was going to dry her but Kayley wouldn’t let her.  She wasn’t used people doing things for her; she just used to doing things on her own.

 

  “Can you tell me something?”

 

  “I can try.”

 

  “Can you tell me…is this real…or is it another delusion?” she asked, Ellen was speechless.

 

  “N…no this is real.  Do you…by chance have…schizophrenia?” she asked.

 

  “Yeah I do.  It comes and goes, I thought this could be another episode because I ran out of the anti-psychotics a little while ago.  I thought that maybe I had fallen back into it.  But if this is real than I’m safe.” She said, Ellen felt sorry for her.  Kayley dried herself off and Ellen handed her the sweats, Kayley put her underwear and bra on and then slipped the sweats on.  They were a little too big and a little too long.  But Kayley didn’t care at all, “Whose are these anyway?” she asked.

 

  “Quatre’s…he’s more your size than anyone else in this house.”

 

  “Oh, thank you.  Can…can I ask another question?  Why…why did he do this?  Why is he being nice to me?  I don’t get it.”

 

  “He’s got a big heart.  He’s the nicest and kindest boy I’ve ever met.  He can’t bring himself to hate people.  Not even you.  I don’t quite understand him at times myself.  But he’s being nice to you because that’s just the way he is.” She said.

 

  “I see.”

 

  “Are you hungry?  Because I can take you to the kitchen for some food.” Ellen asked, Kayley looked at the floor.

 

  “I’m more tired than anything.  Would it be alright if I just slept for a bit?” Kayley asked, trying to not to sound like her normal self and trying to sound like a person.

 

  “Of course.  Just let me show you the separate stairs to the kitchen if you get hungry, that way you don’t have to go through the crowd down there.” She said and she showed Kayley the stairs to the kitchen.

 

  “Thank you.” Kayley said and she went into the room and sat on the bed.  She looked around trying to figure out what she should do next, “Well I was never prepared for this.  I have no intention of killing anyone.  That’s the whole reason I came to earth…to not have to kill anyone…it’s not what I’ve ever wanted to do…I’m not going to hurt anyone here.  But what am I supposed to do?  I don’t know what to do about this.  No one has ever treated me like this before.” She thought, then she leaned up against the wall and fell asleep.

 

  The party went long into the night.  Once most of the guests left and only Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, Duo and Heero were left.  Heero was still pissed off at Quatre for not killing the girl.  Duo really didn’t care, as long as she wasn’t trying to kill him; he didn’t care where she was.  Wufei and Trowa were slightly angered as well.  Heero decided to kill her himself, so he went to his car and got his guns.

 

  “Where is she?” he asked angrily.  Quatre could tell this wouldn’t end well for some one.

 

  “Heero just leave her alone.  She’s not going to hurt anyone.”

 

  “How the fuck do you know?  Have you seen her in action?  Have you seen what she’s capable of?  She’s a better gundam pilot than all five of us combined!  Her gundam is stronger than all of our gundams combined!  She’s stronger than even me!  She’s not to be trusted!” he yelled at Quatre, and Quatre looked at him.  Then Ellen walked in.

 

  “She’s also a schizophrenic.  She’s not right in the head.  I can tell, I worked with mentally ill people when was a nurse at the mental hospital.  She shows all the signs of some one who should be in a mental hospital.  Whatever she has done, it was not her fault.  When people have mentally ill people working with them, it’s very easy to mess with their minds.  Her mind has been terribly distorted.” She said in a calm voice.

 

  “How can you tell?” Trowa asked, Ellen sighed.

 

  “She’s not right in the head.  She acts like she has been abused, I mean she spoke so softly and fearfully.  When she asked questions she sounded like she expected to get yelled at or hit.  She must have been horribly abused, her body is covered in scars, really long thin ones, and what must have been gashes at one point.  You’d have to see her and talk to her.  But I think she’s asleep now.”

 

  “Well then let’s see her and talk to her.” Heero said and he went up the stairs and saw a light under a bedroom door, he went into the bedroom and saw her sitting there.  He got mad just at the sight of her; he put his gun on her forehead.  She opened her eyes and once her vision adjusted she saw the gun.

 

  “Oh well that’s not very nice!” she said, looked at the group of people staring at her.

 

  “Whoa that is so cool.  That is the coolest accent I’ve ever heard!” Duo exclaimed, she looked at him from the bed.

 

  “Quatre Winner…Duo Maxwell…Trowa Barton…Chang Wufei…and Heero Yuy.  An entire gundam team all in one room.  Why don’t I like this?” she said calmly.  Heero pressed the gun harder against her head; “Oww…shit.  Come on I didn’t do anything yet!” she said, now Heero pushed harder and her head was starting to hurt.

 

  “Heero lay off her man, she’s right.  She didn’t do anything yet.” Duo said, but Wufei and Trowa gave him looks that told him to shut up.

 

  “Get it off of my head.  You really really don’t want me to hit you.” She said, and Heero shot his other gun at the ceiling three times.  Dust fell from the holes all over the floor and bed, “That’s it!  You’re out of line!” she yelled, she kicked him in the side and then in the face and he fell to the floor unconscious.

 

  “Wow.” Duo said, “That was awesome.  I’ve been wanting to do that for ever.” He said, laughing at the unconscious Heero on the floor.

 

  “That is going to leave an interesting mark.” Quatre said quietly.

 

  “Okay, well that’s something I’ve never seen before.” Trowa said monotonously.

 

  “I must agree.” Wufei said.

 

  “So what did you guys want?” Kayley asked, and the pilots looked at each other and shrugged.

 

  “It was all his idea.” Duo said pointing to Heero.  Kayley got off of the bed and rubbed her forehead; she looked down at Heero.

 

  “I warned him.  But do guys ever listen to me?  No!  They always seem to think I’m bluffing.” She said, she looked at the ceiling, a chunk of it was about to fall right on Quatre’s head.  She grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him toward her, and just as he tripped over Heero’s body and knocking Kayley over and then landing right on top of her, the chunk fell right were Quatre was standing.  He was lying on top of her staring into her eyes, “Quatre?”

 

  “Yes?”

 

  “Can you get off me?” she asked, Quatre blushed and then got up and helped her up.

 

  “Sorry.”

 

  “No, don’t worry about it.  It’s alright.” She said, and she looked at Heero again, “Five…four…three…two…one.” And as soon as she said ‘one’ Heero was conscious again.  He sat up and looked around, he saw Kayley, found his gun and ran to her, hitting the side of her head with the gun.  She laughed at him.  She found her bloodstained shorts and took the guns out and held them at his head, “Now what Heero Yuy?”

 

  “Hnn…” he mumbled.  She stared directly at him, showing no sign of backing down.  Then Quatre stood between them.

 

  “Stop you two!  These are supposed to be peaceful times!  Just calm yourselves down.  Put your guns down, and cool it.” He said, Kayley looked at him, and saw his eyes.  Something in him made her put her guns down.  But Heero didn’t put his guns down; he hit her again on the side of the head.  She wasn’t prepared for it and she fell.

 

  “What the bloody hell is your problem?” she asked, she could feel warm metallic blood dripping down her face.  She tripped him, causing him to fall to the floor.  She grabbed her gun and stood over him, with her gun point blank between his eyes.  With one hand she held both of his hands, squeezing them until he dropped his gun, “Now if you stop trying to kill me I won’t break your hands.  But if you continue your futile efforts to get the best of me, I may end up hurting you more than you really want to be hurt.” She said, and Heero stared at her for minutes before saying anything.

 

  “Fine.” He said, she moved out of the way and let him get himself up.  Once he was up, he stared at her and then left the room.  Kayley watched him leave and then put her gun down and wiped the blood off of her face.

 

  “Oww, that’s going to be a big bruise.” She said, feeling the side of her head.

 

  “Are you okay?” Quatre asked.

 

  “I’m fine.” She said and the other pilots weren’t sure what to think.  She didn’t kill Heero, but she did beat him.  Which was something they’d never seen before.

 

  “Quatre, you might want to get your ceiling fixed.” Duo said, Quatre looked up and laughed.

 

  “I guess so.  You think he’d have a little control.”

 

  “Well man, it’s been…interesting, we should go.  See you at work.” Duo said, Trowa and Wufei nodded.

 

  “Let me walk you to the door.  Excuse me Kayley.” He said and he left, Duo smiled broadly.

 

  “You like her Quatre.” Duo said.

 

  “What?”

 

  “You like her.  I can tell.” Duo said laughing.

 

  “No I don’t.” Quatre said quietly.

 

  “Come on man admit it!  When you fell on her I saw you staring into her eyes!  You were so totally mesmerized by her!  I saw it with my own eyes!” Duo said.  Quatre was blushing bright red.

 

  “Duo you’re crazy!” Quatre said.

 

  “Whatever man.  I know what I saw and I saw that you like this girl!” he said, and Quatre was still blushing, “Bye buddy!” Duo said and he went to his car and drove away.  But Trowa and Wufei were not as enthusiastic about Quatre’s new interest.

 

  “Listen Quatre, she’s bad news.  If I were you I’d get rid of her as soon as humanly possible.  You can’t trust her.” Trowa said, Quatre sighed.

 

  “I understand your point of view, but I don’t agree with it.”

 

  “Quatre she is dangerous!  That could not have been more obvious back there!  She kicked Heero’s ass!” Trowa said, Quatre laughed.

 

  “Listen Trowa, you don’t have to worry.  Besides it’s no big deal about Heero.”

 

  “No big deal?  She’s the only one alive who can do that to him.  She is the strongest person ever and even you know that!”

 

  “I know.  And if you take a good look, she doesn’t appear to be that strong right now!” he said.

 

  “That does not matter Quatre!  It’s the fact that you have her here alive is the problem.” Wufei said.

 

  “Guys, just calm down.  We can work this out another time.” Quatre said and Trowa and Wufei nodded and left.  Quatre went back up to Kayley, who was sitting on the bed staring at the guns she was holding.  He went into the room and she looked at him.

 

  “You know why I came to earth?” she asked.

 

  “No.  Why?”

 

  “I came here to find some one I’d given up, to find some one I lost, to find some one I killed, to find some one who probably doesn’t exist anymore.” She said monotonously.

 

  “Who is it?”

 

  “I came here to find the girl I killed when I was seven.” Quatre didn’t quite understand her statement.

 

  “Who?”

 

  “Myself.  I came here to find out who I am.  If there is a way I can become something more than this.” She said, and Quatre had suddenly become curious as to why she had done the things she had done.

 

  “Can I ask you something?”

 

  “I suppose.”

 

  “Why did you do the things you did?” she looked at him and sighed.

 

  “Do you really want to know?”

 

  “Yeah.”

 

  “I did those thing because…I was ordered to.  It was all I knew and it was what I was trained to do.  I had no other choice.  I did what I was told or I got in big trouble.  I was trained to kill and to not get killed.” She said.

 

  “So you didn’t do those things because you wanted to?  Or because you liked killing?”

 

  “No…is that the image people have painted of me?  That I enjoyed killing people?” she asked.

 

  “Well sort of.”

 

  “Oh I see.  Well I suppose that is understandable.” She said.

 

  “Time to change the subject you bonehead!  Can’t you see she’s upset?” Quatre thought he tried to think of a subject to change to, “So…are you hungry?  ‘Cause there’s some food leftover from the party if you want some.”

 

  “No I’m okay.” She said, then she laughed, “His guns were loaded.”

 

  “What’s so funny about that?” Quatre asked and she looked at him with a sparkle in her eyes.

 

  “Mine weren’t.”

 

  “Oh.”

 

  “I didn’t come to earth to kill people.  Those guns are more of a security blanket type of concept more than anything else.” She said, and nothing was said for moments after, “Well…I suppose I should make another attempt to sleep…” she said.

 

  “Not in here.  The ceiling needs to be fixed now.  I’ll just move you to another room.  There we can clean up the bloody mess on your face and then you can sleep.” He said, she looked at him curiously.

 

  “Okay.” She said slowly.  He took her hand and led her to another bedroom.  He took her into the bathroom and got a washcloth, soaked it and gently cleaned the blood off of the side of her face.

 

  “That’s going to be a huge bruise.” Quatre said, she gently put her fingers on the spot.

 

  “Yeah it is.  Oh well, no big deal.”

 

  “You probably want to sleep now huh?” he asked, she nodded, “Lemme show you where my room is, in case you need me or something.” He said and he showed her where his bedroom was.  Then she went into the new room and sat on the bed.  But the bed felt strange.  She stood up and looked under the sheets, it was a waterbed.

 

  “How weird.” She said and she sat back down and got used to the way it felt.  She lay down and fell asleep.

 

  The next morning Kayley woke up to a splitting headache.  She sat up and looked around.  She climbed out of bed and went the window, outside was all white.  The ground sparkled with light from the sunrise.  The sky filled with red and orange and pink and purple.  She heard a door slam and jumped.  But it wasn’t her door; she went into the hallway and saw that Heero had come.  He was still mad about her being there and would do all he could to get rid of her.  She decided to try to reason with Heero.  Kayley walked down the stairs quietly and went to the room where they were.  Heero was yelling as loud as he could and Kayley sighed.  She stood in the doorway and looked in.

 

  “If you want I can leave right now, because you are making a very big deal about this.  Bloody hell, you’re talking like you’re the bloody expert on me!” she said, Quatre didn’t want her to leave, he looked at Heero.

 

  “Yes I do want you to leave.” Heero said, and Kayley walked into the room and in the light they could see that a third of her face was black and blue.

 

  “Fine.  I’ll leave.  I’ll go change back into my clothes and you’ll never see me again.  Will that make you happy?” she said calmly.

 

  “Yes.” Heero said flatly.

 

  “No!” Quatre said immediately after Heero, “No!  Don’t leave!  You don’t have to leave.  You can stay here.  Don’t listen to him.” He said and she smiled.

 

  “I don’t know.  I…I just don’t know.” She said, and Heero pulled his gun out of his pocket and held it to Quatre’s head.

 

  “Tell her she has to leave.” He said and Quatre was too surprised to respond.  Kayley got angry with Heero.

 

  “You know I just now realize why they called us twins.” She said, and she had accomplished what she wanted, Heero’s attention on Quatre had been averted.

 

  “What?”

 

  “Us, they called you and I twins.  And we are.  You’re cold and heartless in every way I was.  Trained in a deadly art, in a deadly style.  What humanity we had was taken away.  Don’t you see?  You and I are the same!  You want to kill me for the horrible things I’ve done, but you did the same thing!  You killed and destroyed and sabotaged!  You felt nothing as I felt nothing!  You trained all your life to be the best in the art of war!  You became the best!  I trained all my life to be the best in the art of assassination!  And I became the best!  It has become our trade!  It is all we know!  And you have the bloody balls to want to kill me for things I did when you did them as well?” she yelled at him, his face turned white.  She let her anger loose, Quatre felt her rage.  Heero stormed out of the house, he didn’t know what else to do or say.  Quatre stared at her.

 

  “You’re amazing.” He said simply, she turned her head quickly to look at him.

 

  “What?”

 

  “You’re…you’re amazing.”

 

  “No I’m not.  I’m really not.” She said and they stared at each other.  Quatre felt as though his eyes were suddenly stuck, he couldn’t take his eyes away from hers.  Kayley felt something totally unfamiliar; she had no idea what it was.  But whatever it was it was because of Quatre that she felt that way.

 

  Three weeks went by and Kayley changed significantly because of Quatre.  He took her to the movies and out places she had never been.  Quatre bought her some real clothes to wear.  She learned to be a friend, she learned to have fun, and she learned to show her feelings more.  Duo never had a problem with her being around, as long as she didn’t try to kill him.  Trowa and Wufei felt that it didn’t matter to them what Quatre chose to do; though Trowa worried about Quatre’s safety for a while.  Heero thought long and hard about what she had said to him three weeks earlier.  He realized that she was right, that they were the same.  He didn’t try to kill her; he tried to be nice to her, which in his opinion was very hard.  He started asking her questions about her life and her training, but she wouldn’t answer him.

 

  Quatre was sitting on his bed in the dark, trying to figure out what was going on in his head.

 

  “Why can’t I get her out my mind?  What’s going on?  I can’t be in love with her.  Can I?  No, that’s impossible.” He said to himself.  He couldn’t make any sense of what he was feeling.  He decided to simply look at her and see how it made him feel, he went quietly up the stairs to her room.  The door was open, she had realized she was safe where she was and felt she could feel safe with the door open.  He looked in and the moonlight was shining on her face, the bruise had gone away and the cuts had healed.  Her hair was glowing in the moonlight, he stared at her.  His heart was pounding, he felt this strange feeling in the pit of his stomach and he was sweating, “I don’t believe this.  This is crazy.  This is the perfect assassin.  I can’t be in love with the perfect assassin.” He said to himself, then he looked at her again, “I am.  I’m in love with her.  Damnit if Heero finds out he’ll kick my ass.  Hell they’ll probably all kick my ass.  IAHeen!  Ana tuht.” [Damn!  I’m lost.] He said in Arabic.

 

  “Now how can you be lost in your own house?” Kayley asked, when he saw her she smiled.  He was astounded.

 

  “You…you understood me?”

 

  “Yeah.  If you can find a language I don’t know I’ll sleep with you.” She said, his mouth dropped open, “I was only being sarcastic.  Calm your fragile nerves Quatre.”

 

  “I got that.  But god, that’s something I’ve never heard before.” He said, she smiled and laughed.

 

  “Damn, the look on your face when I said that.  That was great.” She said, she got out of bed and turned the light on, “Kayf Haalak?” [How are you?] she asked, he smiled.

 

  “Bi-khayr.” [Fine.] he said, she sighed.

 

  “You don’t sound fine.  Are you okay?” she asked, she took his hand and sat him on the bed and sat next to him.  His heart was racing, his palms were sweating, though she didn’t know it, she was torturing him.  He wanted to tell her what was bothering him, be he wasn’t sure she’d react well to it.

 

  “I’ve been thinking too much lately.” He said, knowing how stupid it sounded but it was the truth, he’d been thinking about her a lot.

 

  “Oh I see.  Well it happens.  I’ve exhausted myself thinking about things.  Usually a nice walk clears my head.  Do you want to take a walk?  It might help.” She suggested.  He really didn’t think taking a walk with her would clear his head of her, but it was time with her and he didn’t mind it at all.

 

  “Okay.” He said and they changed and went for a walk.  While they walked she held his hand, and he was going crazy.

 

  “Do you feel better?” she asked, not even realizing that she was the reason he was even awake at that hour.

 

  “Not really.”

 

  “Oh.  I’m sorry.  Is there anything else I can do?” she asked.

 

  “No, it’s all okay.  But it looks like it’s going to rain, we should head back.” He said, and they headed back to his house.  But as they walked it began to rain and they ran as fast as they could and when they got to his home they went inside and stood there dripping and laughing.

 

  “Now I’m too awake to get back to sleep.” Kayley said, and Quatre led her to his bathroom to dry off.

 

  “Same here.  We could sit on the couch and watch movies the rest of the night.  We just have to be quiet, Ellen is probably asleep.” He said and when they were dry Quatre went into the linen closet and grabbed a blanket and they sat on the couch covered by the blanket and put in a movie.  Little did they know that Ellen was in the kitchen getting a glass of water and heard the whole thing.  She peeked around the doorway to see them.

 

  “What is going on here?  Could there be something between them?” She thought, and she quietly went back to her room.

 

  The next morning Ellen came down and found them both asleep, Kayley with her head on Quatre’s shoulder and Quatre with his head on Kayley’s head.  Ellen left them alone.  But at 10:00 Duo came over and when he saw them he laughed and decided to tease them.  He sat next to Kayley, pulled some blanket on and placed his head on her shoulder and acted asleep.  Kayley opened her eyes and felt that there was a head on her shoulder she looked to see Duo pretending to be asleep and being bad at it.

 

  “Duo what the hell do you think you’re doing?” she asked, and Quatre immediately woke up and looked around.

 

  “What were YOU doing?” Duo asked of her, implying that something intimate had happened between the two.

 

  “Sleeping.”

 

  “Me too.” He replied.

 

  “Like hell you were.  You’re a really bad actor.” She said and Duo stuck his tongue out at her.

 

  “Duo what is it?” Quatre asked.

 

  “Well do you remember all six of us were supposed to do something today?  And we were all to meet here at ten.  I’m here and I find you two asleep.  You might want to get up because if Heero sees this he may think something happened and kick some ass.” Duo said and Quatre stood up followed by Kayley.

 

  “Oh yeah.  Now I remember.  I guess I should change then huh?” she said and she went to change her clothes.

 

  “So buddy.  What happened?”

 

  “What?”

 

  “Did you sleep with her or something?”

 

  “No.”

 

  “Come on man you can tell me.”

 

  “I didn’t sleep with her.” Quatre said, and he rubbed his eyes and yawned.

 

  “You…you love her.  Don’t you?” Duo asked, and Quatre wasn’t sure how to respond.  He did love her, but he didn’t want to tell anyone, “You do, don’t you?”

 

  “I…well I…” Quatre started, then he realized he had to tell her, “I’ll be right back.” He said and he ran up the stairs to her room and knocked on the door.

 

  “Who is it?” she asked.

 

  “It’s me.  I…I have to talk to you.”

 

  “Hang on one second while I get my shirt on.” she said and moments later, “Okay, come in.” she said and he opened the door.  But when he saw her he was speechless, she had a gray turtleneck on that revealed every curve on her body, and jeans that somehow seemed to make her simple outfit look spectacular.  He stared at her, “Well, what did you want to talk to me about?” she asked, he kept staring at her.

 

  “Shaklak Hilw.” [You look great.] he said, and she blushed.

 

  “Shukran. [Thank you.]  But what did you want to talk to me about?” she asked.

 

  “Umm…nothing.  It was nothing.” He said and he left.  She stood there dazed at what had just happened, “Damnit!  I chickened out!  Damn!” he thought.  He went back downstairs and saw that Wufei had arrived, “Hi Wufei.”

 

  “Hello Quatre.” He replied.

 

  “I need to change, I’ll be out in a minute.” Quatre said and he went into his bedroom and changed his clothes.  Kayley came down the stairs and stood with Duo and Wufei.

 

  “Good morning everyone.” She said and Duo turned around to look at her and was utterly astonished.

 

  “Who are you?”

 

  “Ha ha!  Very funny!” she said sarcastically.  Then Quatre walked out and Duo grabbed Kayley’s body and held her very tightly.

 

  “That’s it Quatre!  I’m stealing your girlfriend!  She is way too hot for you!” Duo exclaimed.  Wufei did not find it at all amusing, Quatre laughed quietly.  Then Duo tripped over his own feet and they both fell to the floor.  Both Duo and Kayley hit their heads on a hard wood table and were both knocked unconscious.  Heero and Trowa walked into the house, and had questioning looks on when they saw the unconscious bodies.

 

  “What happened to them?” Heero asked.

 

  “Duo was clowning around and tripped over his own two feet and took the girl with him.” Wufei explained, and Heero nodded.  Heero went and stood Duo up and Quatre stood Kayley up and they both tried to bring them back to consciousness.  Quatre’s heart was pounding even more now as he held her limp body.  Her eyes opened and she blinked many times.

 

  “Oww.  My head.” She said and Quatre laughed.

 

  “Are you alright?” he asked.

 

  “Fine, just fine.” She said, and she leaned on Quatre as she got the feeling back in her limbs.  Once Duo was up he looked around and laughed.

 

  “Quatre slept with Kayley last night.” He said, sounding like a child.  Kayley looked at Duo and then at Quatre.  Heero’s eyes showed fury and Wufei and Trowa were wide-eyed and dumbfounded.

 

  “You did what?” Heero yelled.

 

  “I did not sleep with her!”

 

  “He didn’t.  Unless I somehow wasn’t present when he slept with me.  And that I doubt.” Kayley said, still leaning on Quatre.  Heero grunted, “He didn’t!  I think I would know if…something like that happened!  I swear we did nothing of the sort!” she said and Heero let it go.

 

  “Duo what the hell were you doing?” Heero asked, and once Duo was in his right mind he answered.

 

  “I was just playin around!” he said and Heero put a gun at Duo’s head.  Kayley grabbed the gun and looked at them.

 

  “No.  Got it?  Restrain yourself Heero.  Violence is only the answer when you’re sick of trying to negotiate.  Cool it.” She said and she threw his gun at him and he caught it, “Duo if you ever say that again, I will personally see to your destruction.  Is that clear?” she said, and Duo nodded.

 

  “Okay, now that that has been settled.  Where do we want to go?” Quatre asked.

 

  “Let’s go to Friday’s.” Trowa suggested.

 

  “Okay that’s one for Friday’s.  Any other suggestions?” Quatre said.

 

  “Let’s let the lovers choose.” Duo said.

 

  “Duo you’re asking for it big time.” she said, “I don’t believe I’m anyone’s lover.  Unless I’m missing something major.” She said and Duo burst out in laughter.

 

  “Is Friday’s good for everyone?” Quatre asked.

 

  “Yeah that’s fine.” Heero said, watching Quatre and Kayley.  Duo needed to tease Quatre and Kayley more; he just couldn’t help it.

 

  “But Quatre I bet no one here blames you if you did sleep with her.  I mean look at her, she is really really hot!” he said and Kayley wanted to kill him but she restrained herself.  Kayley decided to make it as straightforward for him as possible.

 

  “I give up.  If you want to think that that is what happened, then bloody hell think it!  Just shut your mouth and keep it to yourself!” she said, and Duo went silent.

 

  “Well now that that is settled, let’s go for lunch.” Trowa said.  And they went to their cars and drove to the restaurant.  Heero sat in his car.

 

  “How far will their relationship go?  What if that happens?  Then what?  What would happen to the team?  Would we gain a pilot or…lose a pilot?” he thought, then it hit him, “We’d gain a pilot.  She’s all alone in the world, or at least she was, she has us now, but that’s it.  We’d gain a pilot.   Or have we already gained her and we just don’t know it?” he thought.  He grunted and drove on.  Kayley was in the passenger’s seat and Quatre was driving.  He laughed and she looked at him oddly.

 

  “What is so funny?” she asked him.

 

  “You.”

 

  “Me?  What did I do?”

 

  “What you said to Duo.  That was funny.” He said and she smiled.

 

  “It was better I said that then if I just said ‘okay Duo you’re right’ or something stupid like that.” She said.

 

  “Yeah well if you said that Heero might have head both our heads.” He said.

 

  “So what did you want to tell me a while ago.  I know you had something to say, you just wimped out on me.” She said, he thought.

 

  “So do I tell her or not?  I can’t.” he thought, “It was nothing, really.  Nothing important.”

 

  “You’re such a bad liar.  But I’ll let it alone.  Turn here.” She said as he almost missed the entrance to the restaurant.  They saw Wufei pull into a parking spot next to them.  They walked in and a waitress seated them.  They sat at a big round table and Quatre sat next to Kayley.  They ordered their drinks.  As they waited for their drinks Kayley had to move a wisp of hair out of her face and Quatre saw something on her palm.

 

  “Hey what’s that?” he asked.

 

  “What?” she asked.

 

  “In your palm, what is that?  A scar?” he asked, she looked at it, closed her eyes remembering the event.

 

  {“It’s almost lock down.  I have to get ready.  I hope this works.” Said a seven year old Kayley.  The small girl stood by the window waiting for the bars to go away and for the actual window to come down, “Five…four…three…two…one.” And the mechanism could be heard, the bars moved up and the window moved down.  The small Kayley put her hands under the window, and when the window touched her hand, the blade shot into her hands cutting though skin and muscle and bone.}

 

  Kayley clenched her fist and opened her eyes.

 

  “It’s nothing.  Nothing you need to concern yourself with.” She said and Quatre didn’t believe her.

 

  “No really what’s that from?” he asked; now Duo and Heero were curious.  They tried to see the scar.

 

  “It’s nothing.” She said, but now they all wanted to know.

 

  “What’s wrong?” Trowa asked Quatre.

 

  “There’s this big scar in her palm and she won’t tell us what happened.” He said.  Kayley saw more of the memory flash before her.

 

  {The small Kayley held in the urge to scream as she felt her hands being torn apart by the sharp blades.  She had to keep going with her plans.  She pushed the window up with all her strength and climbed out and ran.  Then she heard a man yelling and a woman was chasing after her.  Before the girl knew it she was face to face with the pavement.  Then she felt a sharp pain in her arm and then all blackness.}

 

  “I…I need to take a walk.” She said, and she got up from the table, and Quatre grabbed her arm.

 

  “Are you okay?”

 

  “I’ve been thinking too much.  And unlike you, walks tend to help clear my head.” She said and she left, leaving them all dumbfounded.  Heero saw the look on Quatre’s face, and he suddenly realized that Quatre did indeed love her.

 

  “Quatre.” Heero said.

 

  “What?”

 

  “Go after her.” He said and Quatre smiled and left.  He found her sitting under a tree.

 

  “Mind if I sit here?” he asked, she looked up at him and nodded.  He sat down next to her.

 

  “Tell me something.  What was your childhood like?” she asked.

 

  “Umm…it was okay.”

 

  “No, I mean like did you a loving family, did you have brothers or sisters, did you have friends, did you have a best friend you could tell everything to, could you talk to your parents?” she said, he looked at her and thought.

 

  “Well, yes.  I suppose I had all of that.  But my mother died after having me, so really it was me and my older sisters and my dad, though my dad was sort of a work-a-holic.” He said, and she sighed.

 

  “You see, I didn’t have any of that.  I had a family that hated me.  I had no siblings, no friends.  I didn’t have anyone I could tell anything to.  I wasn’t permitted to speak to my father.  He HATED me!  Only once had he ever seen me as his daughter and not as his project.” She said, and she wanted to cry, but she had forgotten how.  He then moved in front of her and knelt over her lap.  He put his hands on her face and looked into her eyes.

 

  “You mustn’t cry.  It’ll be okay.  You’re away from all that now.  You’re here with the other pilots and me….  It’s all going to be okay.” He said.  She held out her hands with her scarred palms facing up so he could see.  He didn’t expect both hands to have the scars.

 

  “You want to know where these came from?” she asked.

 

  “Yes.”

 

  “I got them when I was seven.  I wanted out of the whole thing.  I had a plan, and it would have worked if I hadn’t forgotten about the security cameras that surrounded the house.  But my plan involved the lockdown at night when windows replaced the bars.  As the bars moved up, the windows moved down, and when the windows were in place, they shot down sharp blades that prevented the windows from being opened.  I found a glitch in the system and decided to take advantage of it.  I found that the windows stopped when they touched something and the blades shot down immediately, it assumed it was in place.  I needed to work fast, so I couldn’t use an object, I had to use my hands so I could push it up and climb out quickly.  The time came and I was ready, then the second the window touched my hands, the blade shot down almost right through my hands.  It tore my skin, muscles, bones; I almost lost half of my hands that night.  I pushed the window up and climbed out.  I ran like hell, but my father opened the door and yelled for my aunt Elizabeth to run after me, since she was the fastest.  She somehow got me down to the ground and my father stuck a needle in my arm to sedate me.  I was out before they got me back to the house.  For weeks after that I was beat senseless, I didn’t even know which way was up.” She said, she looked down.  Quatre held her hands in his own, and leaned toward her and gently kissed her forehead.

 

  “Everything is okay.  You’re away from all of that.  You’re safe with me.  It’s okay.  I promise.” He said, and all the while his heart was racing, just being near her made him want to kiss her lips.  But he knew he couldn’t.  She leaned in and rested her head on his chest.

 

  “I want to cry.  But I can’t remember how.” She said softly.  He put his hand on the back of her head.  She wrapped her arms around his waist and sat there in his comforting arms.  Then they could hear footsteps.

 

  “Hey you two.  The drinks are here and they are taking food orders.” Wufei said and Quatre got off of Kayley and helped her up.  She walked with him; he held her hand tightly.  But she couldn’t look at him, she had just told him something she had never told anyone.  And she realized just how much she could trust him.  They went back to the table and no one said a word to them.  Once they all ordered their food and the waitress left they looked at her.  Duo held up his glass.

 

  “Here’s to a softer, more emotional, perfect assassin.” He said and he lifted his glass to her.  She blushed and lifted her glass.

 

  “Cheers.” They said.  She smiled.

 

  “Fee SaHHitak!” [Cheers!] she said and Quatre looked at her and smiled.

 

  “Ilaa anti.” [To you.] he said and she laughed.  The other pilots were dumbfounded.

 

  “Ya know what?  I’m not gonna ask.” Duo said and Kayley laughed at him.

 

  “It’s Arabic Duo.” She said.

 

  “Oh I see.  And you two can speak Arabic?” Duo asked.

 

  “Yeah.  We just did.  Didn’t we?” Quatre said.

 

  “So how do you say I love you?” Duo asked, and Kayley and Quatre looked at each other.

 

  “I’m not sure.  He might know.” She said pointing to Quatre.

 

  “I think it’s ana…ana…ana uHibbak.  Yeah that’s it.  Ana uHibbak.” He said and Duo smiled mischievously at them, “Duo.  Shut up.  You asked and I answered.  That’s it.  It didn’t mean anything.” He said and Kayley understood.

 

  “I see what’s going on.  Duo that is not funny.  You shouldn’t joke around like that with me, it’s not even close to funny.” She said and Quatre wondered what was going on in her head.  But Duo did stop talking and let it go.  Then the food came.  She ate in silence while the other pilots talked about anything that came into their minds.  Heero was staring at her the whole time; there was something about her that made him wonder.  Once everyone was finished eating Heero went to Kayley.

 

  “I need to talk to you.” He said, she was surprised, but she nodded and went with him.  He took her to the large room where people waited to be seated, luckily for them no one was in there.  He sat her down on a bench and then sat next to her, “Can I ask you something?”

 

  “I suppose.”

 

  “How…how did you get pulled into becoming what you became?” he said, she stared at him.  She tried to think of some way out of it, but she realized that maybe she needed to tell him what happened to her.

 

  “I…I wasn’t pulled into it.  I was born into it.” She stated, he half expected that to be her answer.

 

  “So what did they do to you?” he asked, but she laughed, which was not what he expected.

 

  “There’s not enough time for me to get into it here.”

 

  “Then we’ll make time.  I want to know how alike we really are.  Tell me what they did to you.” He said, she smiled.

 

  “My training was probably exactly like yours.” She said, avoiding having to give him an in depth answer.  But he wouldn’t accept it.

 

  “It couldn’t have been.  You’re a lot stronger than me.” He said, she knew exactly why that was so.  She put her head against his head and whispered softly to him.

 

  “I’m stronger than you because I have not been one hundred percent human since I was four years old.” She said and she stood up and rolled up her sleeves and showed him the long scars on her arms.  He hesitated and then traced the scars with his index finger; they went up to her shoulders.  He then stood behind her and traced them through her shirt down her spinal cord and then to her waist.  She turned around and she traced down her leg to show him that the scars were all over her body.  She then took his hand and put it on the back of her head, “Everywhere.”  The other pilots had watched him trace along her body and were wondering what was going on.  They couldn’t hear what was being said, but what they were seeing was a little disturbing.

 

  “I want to see the rest of them.” He stated flatly.

 

  “Not here.  Another time perhaps.”

 

  “But that doesn’t answer my question.  What did they do to you to make you what you were?”

 

  “I really don’t want to answer you.  But maybe if you’re nice to me I’ll write it down someday and then you can read it.” She said, and she went back to the table and received curious looks from the other pilots, “What?” she asked.

 

  “What the hell was that?” Duo asked.

 

  “He was asking me a question.”

 

  “Oh really.  And what did he ask you?” Wufei asked, she sat down next to Quatre.

 

  “He asked me about my training.” She said and they wondered what her answer was.

 

  “So what was with him tracing along your body?” Quatre asked quietly, she sighed.

 

  “He also asked why I was stronger than him.  I told him, but it makes more sense if I showed him.  So I did.  I wasn’t about to strip right there to show it all, so he traced along the scars to get an idea.” She said, they looked at each other.  Heero walked in and sat down, Duo smiled.

 

  “Seems to us that you have a crush on Quatre’s girlfriend!” Duo said, and Kayley sighed, realizing that the only way to make them believe what she said, was to tell them and show them.

 

  “Listen if you guys can wait ‘til we get back, I’ll tell you everything and show you everything.  I’ll explain everything to you.” She said and she sighed, ran her hands through her hair and closed her eyes.

 

  “She hasn’t yet said anything to Duo about his calling her my girlfriend.  I wonder why.  Maybe she’s just ignoring it.” Quatre thought, he stared at her wondering what she could be thinking.

 

  “You’re an idiot! You’re getting way too close to these people!  This is not what you were trained to do!  You were not trained to be like this!  You were not trained to love, which believe it or not is what you feel for that boy!  You’re making a big mistake!  You’re getting WAY too close!” said a brutal voice in her head.  She had always heard that awful voice telling her what had always been the truth, but in a harsh and cruel way.

 

  “Just leave her alone.” Came another voice, a kinder voice.  Kayley had always heard these voices and they had always confused her, “Just go away.”

 

  “I can’t, we’re a part of her, both of us are a part of her.  And together we make up this messed up and disconcerted person.  This person who is being a total idiot and getting too close to these people!” the voice yelled.

 

  “Leave her alone!  And so what if she is getting close to them?  It is good for her.  She needs friendship, she needs love.  She needs that to be able to keep on going as a human!”

 

  “But that’s the thing.  She’s not a human.  She’s a fucking android!  An experiment in advanced robotics!  She is not a bloody human!  She was not created this way to love.  She was created to kill!” said the harsher voice.

 

  “Don’t listen to her Kayley.  You can love.  Look how far you’ve come in the past three weeks.  You’ve grown so much.  You love Quatre, and he loves you.” Said the kinder voice.  Kayley had become confused; she didn’t know which voice to listen to.  The voice of her head, the harsh voice, or the voice of her heart, the kind voice.

 

  Kayley opened her eyes to see all five gundam pilots staring at her.  She felt stupid.  The voices in her head never ceased, she heard them in the back of her mind all the time.

 

  “Are you okay?” Quatre asked.

 

  “Yeah.  I’m fine.” She lied.

 

  “Are you sure?  You didn’t look fine.” Quatre said, Kayley put her hands on her lap and sat up straight.  Quatre put his hand on hers; she looked at him, unfamiliar with the feeling that had rushed through her.

 

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” She said.  Soon they left and went back to Quatre’s house.  Kayley led them to her room to show them what she showed Heero.  They sat down on the bed in the brightly-lit room, and she sat in a chair opposite them, “I was born into this business so to speak.  I had absolutely no choice in the matter.  There is one huge reason as to why I’m so much stronger than Heero.  And training is minor.  I suppose you could say I’m not one hundred percent human.  It’s more like seventy-five percent.” She said.

 

  “Say what?” Duo asked.

 

  “When I was four my father had a team of scientists insert wires and chips and the like into my body.  These wires and chips take up fifteen percent of my torso.”

 

  “Holy shit.” Duo yelled.  Quatre’s heart seemed to be breaking.

 

  “What do these things do?” Wufei asked.

 

  “They serve three functions.  The first is basically to make me stronger, faster, better able to absorb information, faster healing process, a higher endurance for pain, and to just make me better.  The second is to keep track of me; there were two master computers in existence that traced the chips, one on our colony and one on earth.  Our colony was destroyed by Wing Zero, so that computer is gone, but there is still one somewhere here on earth.  And the third was to keep me alive…for as long as the wires and chips still functioned properly.  As long as I’m not shot in the head or my throat isn’t slit I’m stuck in this life until the wires and chips are either turned off or they wear away and stop working or I somehow find a way to take them out, which could in itself kill me.” She said, and she stood up and took off her shirt.  On her upper arm was a green tattoo, it was an Irish harp and the words ‘Saorstát Éireann’.

 

  “What’s that mean?” Quatre asked, inquiring about her tattoo.

 

  “It’s Irish.  It means ‘Irish Free State’.  I don’t know why my father had to put that on there, but I don’t mind it that much.” She said.  Heero stood up and went to her; he again traced the line from her wrist to her shoulder to her back and to her waist.  Her back was covered with scars.  Quatre’s heart went out to her, he wished he could do something for her, “You guys done?  I’m not taking my pants off.” She said, and they nodded and she put her shirt back on.

 

  “How long did it take to put it all in?” Trowa asked.

 

  “Well I’d say about a year or so.  In the area of about a year.” She answered.

 

  “How long did it take for you to recover?” Quatre asked quietly.  She smiled at him.

 

  “Another year.  I wasn’t completely conscious until I was six, and when I was awake I had to learn how to walk, I had to learn everything all over again.  Oh and I almost forgot.” She said and she felt around the back of her head then lifted the hair up, there was a small straight scar.

 

  “What’s that from?” Wufei asked.

 

  “There’s a chip in my head.  Sort of a master chip type of deal.” She said.  They sat in silence for a few minutes before Kayley spoke up again, “So which one of you was it?” she asked.

 

  “What?” Duo asked, completely lost.

 

  “Which one of you guys pilots the Wing Zero?” she asked.  Heero looked at her, “You?  But it wasn’t you.  Which one?  Okay so who built the stupid thing?”

 

  “I did.” Quatre said, Kayley was very surprised.

 

  “You?  You built that dumb thing?”

 

  “Yeah.” He said quietly.

 

  “Why?” she asked, he didn’t know what to say, “You built that thing, which means you were its original pilot, which means you were the guy who destroyed our colony.” She said and Quatre sighed.

 

  “Yeah that was me.”

 

  “It has the Zero system in it right?”

 

  “Right.” Heero said.

 

  “I knew it!  I knew it the whole time!  That explains everything!  So it was not you Quatre, it was the system using you.  I know that feeling.  That system is such a total waste.  It really is.  Why do that to some one?  Why have them use this system that has a mind of its own, practically, after that system was in Wing Zero I knew that that gundam pilot would end the wars.  I knew it.  And it did too.  That was you right Heero?” she asked.

 

  “Yes.”

 

  “Okay.  Just checkin.  So then you mastered the system?” she asked.

 

  “Yes.”

 

  “How long did it take?”

 

  “A while, I’m not exactly sure how long.” He replied.

 

  “I don’t remember how long it took me.  A very long time.” She said and Quatre looked at her.

 

  “Why did it take a long time for you?” he asked.

 

  “Because my system, the little son of a bitch that it was, liked to play with my mind.  It played with me, toyed with me, used me.  Mine was awful.  It played on my fears, on my memories, on my pain, on my illnesses.  It hurt me a lot.  Sometimes I was so sure that the thing had a mind of its own I wouldn’t go in it.  But that was just mine.” She said, and they stared at her.

 

  “Okay.” Quatre mumbled, Kayley decided to lighten the mood.

 

  “So Quatre Winner destroyed our colony.  Well I’d never expect something like that from you.” She said, Quatre blushed.

 

  “Sorry about that.” He said, she laughed and hugged him tightly.

 

  “Sorry?  What do you have to be sorry about?  You’re the mysterious Wing Zero pilot who set me free.  I am so indebted to you it is not even funny!  Shit man you’re the best!  I love you!” she said, still hugging him tightly.  His heart was racing; he didn’t know what to do.

 

  “Umm…you’re welcome I guess.” He said, she laughed again and she kissed his mouth and then when she let him go he was dazed.  She stood up, put her hand on his head and messed up his hair.

 

  “You’re the best.  I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t destroyed that colony.  Thank you so much.” She said and the entire room was laughing at what she had just done.  Hours had gone by and Heero, Duo, Trowa and Wufei decided they’d better go home.  So Kayley and Quatre were left together.  They were sitting together on the floor in her room when Quatre suddenly burst out laughing.

 

  “That was the funniest thing that has ever happened to me!” he exclaimed, she smiled slightly, “You are absolutely wonderful.” He said and she sat there thinking.

 

  “Both voices said I love him.  Both of them.  Even though they didn’t actually say that they agree on something, they both said that I love him.  But that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t know how to love.” She thought.  Her training was racing through her mind, how she was told to never get close to a target, to just never get close to anyone period.  The voices started up again.

 

  “Well now you’ve done it!  Shit!  What the hell is wrong with you?  How could you show them the scars, how could you tell them about the operation?  You told them everything!  How could you?” the harsh voice yelled.

 

  “Leave her alone.  She can do as she pleases.  Don’t worry.  You are not making a mistake in them.  They will be with you; they are your friends.  You can trust them.” The kind voice said.

 

  “You don’t trust anyone.  Remember?  You can’t afford to trust anyone.” The harsh voice said.

 

  “Kayley listen to me.  You don’t have to think like that anymore.  Your father is dead; he can’t make you think that way anymore.  You have not listened to me in ten years, listen to me now, you can tell them what you want.  It no longer endangers your life to tell people the truth.” The kind voice said.

 

  Kayley found that she was still in her room, sitting with Quatre.  It was deathly silent, and she looked at him.  He had a worried look on his face.

 

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.  He remained silent for a few moments before answering.

 

  “Could I see those scars again?” he asked nervously.

 

  “I suppose.” She said and she stood up and took her shirt off again.  He put his hand on her back.

 

  “Do they still hurt sometimes?”

 

  “No.  Not anymore.” She replied.  He took her hand and led her to the bed; he sat on it and signaled for her to lie down.  She lay down on her stomach and he began to rub her back.  His hands running over so many scars from the operation, from bullets, from knives, from what Quatre thought might be whips.  But he wasn’t sure, he just kept stroking her back, she eventually fell asleep.  He stayed with her.

 

  “I…I love you.  But how do I tell you to your face?” he asked.  He kissed her cheek, put a blanket on her and sat in the chair opposite the bed and watched her sleep until he himself fell asleep.

 

  Two more weeks went by and it was February, Quatre hadn’t told her what he wanted to tell her.  There was going to be a peace ball in the palace of the Sanq kingdom.  And all the gundam pilots were invited.  Quatre asked Kayley if she would go with him, but she was apprehensive at first.  She did decide to go.  Quatre got her a gown for it, though the low cut back bothered her, she didn’t want all her scars hanging out for everyone to see, but she figured it wouldn’t matter.  The day of the ball came and Kayley was nervous about people seeing her.  She didn’t want people to know she was on earth, she knew some one would cause a scene.

 

  “Okay I’m going to tell her tonight at the ball.” Quatre said to himself while pacing around his room.  He fixed his tuxedo and was ready to leave; all he needed was Kayley.  She was in her room wearing a dark blue gown, Quatre also got gloves to go with the dress so she could hide the scars on her arms, the gloves went all the way up to her shoulders.  Ellen had fixed her hair up to make it look nice and put makeup on her as well.   Kayley stood in the room, looking in a mirror and seeing how different she looked.

 

  “If I’m lucky no one will recognize me.” She said and she left the room and went downstairs to meet Quatre.  When he saw her he was amazed.

 

  “Wow, you look beautiful.” He said.  She blushed and smiled.

 

  “Thanks and you look very beautiful yourself.” She said and they both laughed.

 

  “Very funny.” He said and she laughed at him again, “Well let’s go.  We don’t want to be late.” He said and they left for the ball.

 

  “Quatre?  Are you sure I’m not going to get in trouble for this?  I really don’t feel like getting arrested tonight.” She said and he grinned.

 

  “I’m positive, you won’t get arrested.  Trust me.” He said and she sighed.  When they got there, there were twenty limos with very important political figureheads climbing out of them.  Kayley watched the politicians climb out and she saw how she knew who they were.

 

  “They’re not going to be happy to see me.” She said, watching them carefully.

 

  “Why?”

 

  “Because I’ve killed their family members.” She stated.  He sighed.

 

  “I see.” Then they pulled up to the front of the castle and the valet helped Kayley out, Quatre handed him the keys, the valet gave him a ticket and drove the car away.  Quatre held Kayley’s hand and they walked in and saw Heero and Relena together waiting for them.

 

  “Relena this is Kayley O’ Conner.  Quatre’s date.” Heero said introducing them very quietly.  Relena’s face went pale, “Kayley this is Relena Darlian.  My date.” He said and Relena nervously extended her hand and Kayley slowly shook it.

 

  “Nice to meet you.” Kayley said to the scared Foreign Minister.

 

  “Likewise.” Relena said quietly, “There’s a table for all of us.  Now that you’re all here, we can sit down.” Relena said, and she led them to a table where Duo seemed to be getting on Wufei’s last nerve.  But when they saw Quatre and Kayley walk up they stopped.  Some eyes widened when they saw her, and some faces turned paler as she got closer.

 

  “Hey there Kayley.  Wow, you look wonderful!” Duo exclaimed, she blushed and sat down, Quatre sat down next to her, “Hilde this is Kayley.  Quatre’s girlfriend.” He said.

 

  “Hi.” Hilde said and Kayley could feel how much the ladies at the table resented her.  Quatre was getting worried.

 

  “Hello.” Kayley replied.

 

  “And this is Sally.” Quatre said, pointing to Sally Po who was sitting with Wufei, “This is Catherine.” Quatre said pointing to Catherine Bloom who was sitting with Trowa.

 

  “Hi.” Kayley said, “These people are definitely not happy to see me.” She thought, she looked at Quatre, “Hum laa yuHibb ana.” [They don’t like me.] she said, and he sighed.

 

  “It’s okay.  They’ll get over it.” he said and she sighed.

 

  “Kayley start speaking English, I know you know how.” Duo said, and Quatre smiled.  But Kayley did not.  Suddenly a pair of hands covered Quatre’s eyes, and Kayley looked to see a girl with long platinum blonde hair and strange eyebrows standing over them.

 

  “Dorothy what is it?” he asked.  She took her hands away and bent down, putting her head between Kayley and Quatre.

 

  “I saw you walk in here hand-in-hand with a girl.  I couldn’t make out who it was, so I came here to meet her.” She said and then she turned her head to see Quatre’s date.  What she saw was nowhere near what she expected, “Oh my.  Quatre, this is your date?  Well, this is not what I expected to see.  You took the perfect assassin to a peace ball?  Are you crazy?” she asked.

 

  “Yes I did.  Do you have a problem with that Dorothy?” Quatre asked, Kayley looked at the girl’s angry face and wanted to burst out in laughter, but she restrained herself.

 

  “So who’s your target?” Dorothy asked callously.  Kayley was surprised by her question.

 

  “What makes you think I have a target?” Kayley asked calmly.

 

  “Why else would you be here?” she asked, everyone at the table waited for Kayley’s answer.

 

  “Okay, then my target is a girl of seventeen or eighteen, with long platinum blonde hair, blue eyes and crazy eyebrows.” Kayley said and all the pilots laughed.

 

  “I am not your target!”

 

  “You’re right because if you were…you’d already be dead.” Kayley said peacefully, “Really my target is a girl of seventeen, with short, curly strawberry blonde hair, blue gray eyes, pale skin, she’s a short person, in a dark blue gown with long gloves matching.” She said and Dorothy looked around for the person she was describing.

 

  “Who?” she asked, and Kayley smiled.

 

  “I was just seeing if you were paying attention.  I was merely describing myself.  Lesson one in assassination, always know what’s around you.” She said and Dorothy was silent, “I’m not here to kill anyone.”

 

  “How do we know that?” Hilde asked.

 

  “You’re just gonna hafta trust me,” Kayley replied, “I know how hard that must be.”

 

  “Dorothy go back to your table.” Duo said, “Hilde be nice, even Heero trusts her, if HE can trust her, WE can trust her.” He said.  Dorothy left and Kayley began to massage her temples, and even through the gloves everyone could see her muscles.  An hour went by and once everyone at the ball had eaten, a band came to play music.  Slowly people went to dance together.

 

  “So, do you dance?” Quatre asked Kayley.

 

  “Yeah.  I’ll warn you it’s been a while.” She said, Quatre smiled and took her hand and led her to dance.

 

  “How long has it been?” he asked, she thought.

 

  “Four or five years.  I last danced in Paris.” She said, he looked curiously at her.

 

  “Why would you dance in Paris?”

 

  “At the Moulin Rouge.  There were…targets there.” She said softly.

 

  “Oh.  I see.”

 

  “It’s okay, that was much more fast paced than this.  I like this.  It’s nice and slow.” She said, and he smiled.  They danced, him with his arms wrapped around her waist and her with her arms around his neck.  His heart was beating rapidly as he held her, “Are you okay?” she asked, noting his strange behavior.

 

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” He said.

 

  “They look very cute together.” Sally said to Wufei as they danced, “It’s almost like they’re in love and neither one knows that the other feels that way.” She said.  Wufei wasn’t sure what Quatre felt for Kayley, but he knew there was something. 

 

  “I need to talk to you later.” Quatre said, and Kayley went silent.

 

  “Okay.  I’m not in trouble am I?” she asked, he laughed.

 

  “Why would you be in trouble?”

 

  “I don’t know.  That’s what you sounded like.”

 

  “No it’s all good.”

 

  “Okay.” She said.  A while went by and Kayley was sitting alone at the table because some one needed to talk to Quatre.  Heero sat next to her.

 

  “Hey, are you having a good time?” he asked.

 

  “It’s okay.  I was never a big fan of these types of things.” She replied, Heero sighed.

 

  “Me neither.  Relena always gets pulled away to talk to politicians.  It gets kind of boring after a while.”

 

  “Well then we can keep each other occupied.  Dance with me.” She said and they went to dance.  Soon Quatre went back to the table and found that Kayley wasn’t there.  He went to Relena to see if she knew were Kayley went.

 

  “Relena, have you seen Kayley?” he asked.

 

  “Yeah, I believe she’s dancing with Heero.” She paused, “Is it me or is there something between those two that I don’t know about?”

 

  “There is, but it’s not what you think.  You see they are like…well they’re like twins.” He said, Relena did not understand.

 

  “But he’s Japanese and she’s…”

 

  “Irish.  Not biological twins.  But more like they are twins in the sense that they are very much the same.  They had the same past, the same training, they’re both very strong, and they both are not good at showing emotion.  Like that.” He explained.

 

  “What about your relationship with her?”

 

  “What about it?”

 

  “Well what kind of relationship is it?” she asked, he paused to think, realizing he wasn’t quite sure.

 

  “I don’t know.  I really don’t know what to call it.” He said.  Then the song ended and Quatre and Relena went up to Heero and Kayley.  Quatre smiled when he saw her, “Now I want to talk to you.” He said and he took her hands and led her outside to a balcony.

 

  “What is it?” she asked, he remained silent or a few minutes.

 

  “I want to tell you something.  But promise you won’t laugh.”

 

  “Why would I laugh?”

 

  “I don’t know.”

 

  “Okay so…what did you want to tell me?”

 

  “Well…I…I wanted to tell you that…I…I’m in love with you.” He said, she froze, her face turned white.  Words she had never been told before filled her ears and she didn’t know what to do.  She sat down on the railing of the balcony, he sat with her.  She was shaking her head ‘no’, hoping he wasn’t serious.

 

  “You…you love me?” she asked, hoping he was only joking, her mind went in all different directions at once.

 

  “Yes.  I do.” He said, she jumped down.

 

  “No.  You can’t.  You…you just can’t.”

 

  “Why not?”

 

  “You don’t understand.  I was not created to love.  I’m not sure I even know how.” She said, realizing that she was repeating the harsh voice in her head.

 

  “You’ve done a great job so far.  What you’ve become, is more than you were created to be, why can’t you love as well?” he asked.

 

  “I don’t understand love!  I don’t know what it is!  I don’t know what it feels like!  I have never been loved and never learned to love!  That’s not what I was created to do!” she said, and he was speechless.  Her eyes filled with tears that wouldn’t fall, and her body was shaking.  They stood outside for the remainder of the ball in silence.  When the time came to leave, he drove to his home, and they were silent.  When they arrived, they went inside, “I had a nice time.  Thank you.” She said and she went up to her room.

 

  Days went by and she stayed in her room.  She didn’t sleep, she didn’t eat, she didn’t speak.  She simply sat on a chair staring at the walls.  Quatre tried many times to talk to her, but she would not let him in.  Quatre was at work and the house was empty.  Kayley opened the door and quietly walked out and left the house.  As she walked she looked at the house, remembering what had happened there.  She kept walking knowing that she couldn’t look back.  She walked for blocks until she came to a small park; she sat in the grass up against a brick wall.

 

  The phone at Quatre’s office rang.

 

  “Preventers this is Quatre Winner speaking.” Quatre said.

 

  “Quatre, it’s Ellen.” She said in an exasperated voice.

 

  “Ellen what’s wrong?” Quatre asked worriedly.

 

  “She’s gone.”

 

  “Who’s gone?”

 

  “Kayley…she’s gone!”

 

  “She’s gone?  Are you sure?”

 

  “Yes, her door was open and I figured she was around the house.  But she is no where.  I’ve checked this place thoroughly.  She’s gone.” Ellen said, Quatre’s heart stopped, “I’ll be right there.” He said and he hung up the phone and ran out of his office.  The other pilots heard him run and wanted to know what was wrong.

 

  “Quatre!  Quatre what’s wrong?” Trowa asked, Quatre stopped upon hearing his friend’s voice.

 

  “She’s gone.  She…she’s gone.  She left.” He said and they didn’t know what to think.

 

  “Why would she leave?” Wufei asked.  Quatre sighed as he realized it was because of what he had said to her that she left them.

 

  “Because of me.” Quatre said quietly.

 

  “What did you do?” Duo asked.

 

  “At the ball…I…told her that I…I loved her.” He admitted, and Heero understood everything.

 

  “She couldn’t handle that.  You told her something she’s never heard before and she didn’t know what to do about it.” He said, summing up the situation.

 

  “Yeah I suppose that could be it.” Quatre said.

 

  “Well, we can help you look for her.” Duo said.  Quatre smiled in thanks and they left.  When they reached Quatre’s house Ellen was outside waiting.

 

  “Sir, the neighbors said that they saw her go that way.” She said pointing in the direction Kayley was seen walking in.  Quatre jumped out of his car and ran.  Then it began to rain; large raindrops fell on Quatre as he ran.  He passed by a small park, and in it was a girl sitting in the grass, he recognized it immediately as Kayley.  When she saw him she jumped up and began running.

 

  “Kayley, please don’t run away from me!” Quatre called.  She stopped and turned around.

 

  “Why did you say that?  Please just tell me why you said it!” she said, begging for his help.

 

  “Because I love you.” He said.

 

  “How?  How is it you can even consider loving me?  It doesn’t make any sense.  Everyone else is bloody fine and dandy to hate me and want me dead.  How can you even imagine that you love me?” she asked, Quatre couldn’t answer her.  They stood in the rain for what seemed like an eternity, then the other pilots showed up.  She looked at them and back to him before turning to walk away.  Quatre went after her and she put a gun to his forehead, pushing him back.

 

  “Kayley, listen I…” he said, but she gently put her finger on his lips.

 

  “Stop!  Just stop!  You don’t quite grasp what you’ve done to me do you?  I don’t know anything anymore.  I don’t know where to go or what to do.” She said.

 

  “You don’t have to go anywhere, you can stay with me.” She couldn’t understand him.

 

  “Tell me the truth.  Because if you lie I will kill you.  Tell me why you said it.  Just tell me why.” She said.  Heero noticed how afraid she was, her hand at her side was shaking violently, but her hand on the gun never once moved.

 

  “I said it because when you sort of…became a real person.  I started to like you a lot.  Then I fell in love.  I know I love you.” He said, she put her gun away and backed away from them.

 

  “I actually believe you.  I don’t believe this.  I should kill you all.  How is it I can trust you?” she asked herself, then she put the gun back up against his head.

 

  “But I thought you said you could trust me.” Quatre said, not quite sure what was going on.

 

  “Prove it to me.  Prove to me that you meant what you said and that you’re not just fucking with my head.” She said, and Quatre was speechless.  He could think of only one way.  He gently pushed the gun away from his head and kissed her lips.  Her gun fell to the ground and she stumbled backward away from him, “What have you done to me?  Why the hell is this happening?” she yelled, tears began to fall, tears that had been pleading to get out for years.  Quatre saw the agony she was in and he hugged her, holding her tightly.  She stood there in his arms, crying more than she had ever cried in her life.  As Heero watched her suffering, he realized how she was feeling.  She was suffering because Quatre told her that he loved her and she didn’t understand.  She didn’t want to hurt anyone.

 

  “Kayley listen to me.  You can learn to love, you’ve learned friendship and kindness.  You can learn love, trust me.” Heero said, she said nothing.  They took her back to Quatre house, the boys went to dry off in the bathrooms and Ellen took Kayley into her room to dry her off.  Ellen then came back down moments later.

 

  “Master Quatre, you may want to see this.” She said and Quatre followed her up and saw Kayley curled up in front of the heating vent, “Do you want to talk to her?”

 

  “No, you talk to her.  I’ll just wait here.” he said.  Ellen went into the room and went to Kayley.

 

  “Kayley, what’s wrong honey?” she asked.

 

  “Ellen I’m so lost.  I was so sure of everything, and then Quatre came along and changed everything.  Now I’m not sure about anything.  He…he says he loves me…” She started, and then stopped.

 

  “Yes I heard that.”

 

  “He doesn’t understand.  He just doesn’t get it.” She said and Ellen motioned for him to come in, and he did.

 

  “Why don’t you tell him how you feel?” Ellen asked her, she sighed.

 

  “I can’t face him now.” She said.

 

  “Okay well just tell me what you want to say, maybe it’ll help you feel better.” She said, Ellen had set the two of them up.

 

  “It’s just that…well he says he loves me.  I don’t…I don’t know how to…love him back.  I don’t know how to love him; I don’t know how to love anyone.  No one has ever loved me; they’ve only ever hated me.  And I don’t know how to accept his love, and I don’t know how to tell him that I love him, only because I don’t know what real love feels like.  I don’t know if what I feel for him is love or something else, and I don’t know if how he makes me feel is love or not.  I just don’t know anything.” She said, Quatre’s heart stopped.  Kayley stood up and turned around, and when she saw Quatre, her face turned ghostly white.  Ellen smiled.

 

  “I think I’ll leave you two dears alone.” She said, and she left the room and closed the door.  Kayley and Quatre stood there staring at each other for ten minutes.  Her hair and clothes were dripping all over the floor.

 

  “Is that how you feel?” he asked, she took a while to answer.

 

  “Yeah…I think so.  I just don’t know how to love anyone.  I never had a real example of love until I met you.  No one ever bothered to show me kindness or compassion or love.  No one ever bothered to take care of me or offer me a place to stay.  You taught me things I would have never learned otherwise.  You changed everything I knew.  And I feel something, but I don’t know what it is.  I think it could be love but I’m just not sure.” She said, and he held her hand.

 

  “Well what do you think it is?  What does it seem like to you?”

 

  “Love.  I think I love you.” She said, Quatre’s mind went all over the place.  “I’ve never felt this.  That’s probably very much obvious.”

 

  “Yeah it is.” she lowered her head and sighed.  Quatre lifted her chin up and looked her straight in the eye; “It’s okay to feel that way.  Love is an essential feeling.” he kissed her lips, and she was very much surprised and didn’t know what to do.  Quatre suddenly felt her lips kiss his back.  Her hands made their way onto his face.  She pulled away and looked at him in a state of shock.

 

  “You…you really do mean it don’t you?” she asked.

 

  “Yes I meant it.” tears filled her eyes, and she moved closer to him and he held her.  She cried a little.

 

  “You’re the second person in my entire life who’s ever made me cry.  That’s a real accomplishment.  You should be proud.” She said, laughing and crying.  She kissed his lips slowly, and he returned her kiss.

 

  “Now that’s what I’m talkin about!” yelled Duo, who had opened the door to see them.  Both Kayley and Quatre ignored him and continued kissing each other passionately.  There was a crowd outside the door watching them.

 

  Later that night when everyone had gone home, Kayley sat on her bed, trying to figure out what had happened.  She had tried desperately to sleep, but it wouldn’t come.  She had suddenly realized how much she needed Quatre.  She left her room and went down to his room.  She lightly knocked on the door.  Minutes later Quatre appeared at the door, and smiled when he saw her.  He was wearing boxers and a T-shirt, when she saw him she smiled.

 

  “What can I do for you?” he asked.

 

  “I couldn’t sleep.  I was wondering if I could sleep with you.” She said, he smiled and let her in.  He closed the door behind him.

 

  “Are you alright?” he asked.

 

  “All I could think about was what happened today.  I understood just how much you mean to me, and just how much I need you.” She said, he held her hand and kissed her.

 

  “Well, if you want to sleep here.  That’s fine.” He said and he climbed into bed and she followed suit.  She moved as close to him as she could, and he held her.

 

  “I love you.” She said softly.  He kissed her forehead.

 

  “And I love you.” He said, “Now try to get some sleep.  It’s been a very hectic day.” And after twenty minutes she fell asleep in his arms, and after her, he fell asleep.

 

  Two weeks later Kayley still slept with Quatre, she felt safer with him than she had ever felt before.  He woke up early one morning.  He stared at the strong girl sleeping next to him, seeing her beautiful face in a state of dreamless sleep.  Quatre looked at the clock, 6:01 AM, he would have to get up soon to go to work.  She rolled over and was facing him; she opened her eyes and was staring at his bare chest.

 

  “Good morning Quatre.” She said laughing, and he blushed and sank back down into the bed.  Then the phone rang, Quatre picked it up and Heero’s face appeared on the screen.

 

  “Good morning Heero.” Quatre said, and when Heero saw Kayley in the bed his face turned a very light red.

 

  “I need to talk to her.” He said, and Kayley smiled and climbed over Quatre to be closer to Heero.

 

  “What?”

 

  “Can I ask you a favor?”

 

  “Yeah.”

 

  “Would it be possible for you to bring me, Trowa, Duo, Wufei, Quatre, Noin and Zechs to your gundam today?” he asked, she was speechless.

 

  “Say what?” she asked.

 

  “Seriously, we need to see it.”

 

  “Why?”

 

  “Because it’s a gundam and we want to put it in the hanger with the others if it’s okay with you.”

 

  “Okay.  Wait, Zechs Marquise, that clown?  And Noin who?” she asked.

 

  “Yes him.  And Lucrezia Noin.” He said and Kayley was stunned.

 

  “Really?  That little Italian girl who visited my colony a long time ago, and tried to be my friend?”

 

  “I don’t know.  So can we see it?”

 

  “Okay, okay, okay.  If you must.” She said sighing.

 

  “Good then we’ll be at the house in an hour.” Heero said then he hung up and his picture disappeared.

 

  “Did you know about this?” Kayley asked Quatre, Quatre shrugged.

 

  “Heero never tells me anything.  I’ve learned to go with the flow.” He said and she rolled on top of him and put her hands on his chest.  Then she rested her head on his chest and sighed, he wrapped his arms around her body and held her tightly.

 

  “I love you.” She said, and he smiled, “You know what this means?  We both have to get up now.” She said.

 

<An hour later>

 

  The doorbell rang and Kayley answered it, seeing Zechs at the door.  She wasn’t sure how she felt about seeing him, she knew he used to be a member of OZ and a friend of Treize Khushrenada, the man who had a key role in making her what she was.  All six of them walked in.  She greeted them with a smile, and upon seeing Noin smiled broadly.

 

  “Holy shit!  It is you!” Kayley said and Noin recognized her immediately.

 

  “It’s you.  You’ve grown, a lot.” Noin said, and Kayley blushed.

 

  “So have you.  And I understand you’re a pilot now, that’s amazing!” She said.

 

  “Yeah I am.  I understand you’ve done some amazing things yourself, Moulin Rouge girl.  What were you called again?  Oh yeah, Demoiselle Trépas.” She said.

 

  “Your French sounds good.  Yes, that was me, but where in the hell did you get that from?” Kayley asked.  Noin smiled.

 

  “Treize’s files.  There’s a boatload of info on you.” She said, and Duo seemed interested in the conversation.

 

  “YOU were a Moulin Rouge girl?  That is so cool!  Did you sing and everything?” he exclaimed, then suddenly everyone was listening.

 

  “Yes I was.  I sang and everything.  He has a lot of info on me does he?  I wonder how he’d feel to a visit from his favorite soldier.” She said.

 

  “That would be near to impossible considering he’s dead.” Zechs said, she looked at him and smiled.

 

  “So you speak?  He’s dead?  Damn, I wanted to kill him.  How’d he die?” she asked intently.  Zechs simply pointed to Wufei; “You killed him Wufei?  Wow, I’m amazed.  Mobile suit fight?” she asked, Wufei nodded, “That is so cool.”

 

  “What does Demoiselle Trépas mean?” Quatre asked.

 

  “It means lady death.  Well, shouldn’t we get going?” she said and they all nodded and they left for their cars, “I’m gonna need to drive Quatre.  Guys, follow me.” She said and they drove off.  At a stoplight Kayley pulled a card out of her pocket and handed it to Quatre, “Hold this for me.” She said.  On the card was her picture and some information on her.  An hour passed and they were in the middle of a forest.  She stopped the car and got out.

 

  “Where is it?” Heero asked, she smiled and led them through a small field of trees to a clearing.  In the clearing lay a huge mobile suit, covered camouflage netting.  She began to pull it off of the monster like suit.  She climbed up to the cockpit door.  She realized she didn’t have her key card.

 

  “Quatre?  Where’s the card I gave you?” she asked and she climbed down to get it from him, “Thanks.” She said, she climbed back up and inserted the key card in a small slot and the door opened.  She got inside, turned it on and sat it up.  She sat there looking around when she heard a beep, “What the hell?  I have orders?  There’s no one alive to give me orders!” she said and she typed in her pass-code and found very important orders.

 

  “Kill these targets!  Don’t mess up!” a voice said, then a list of five names came on the small screen.

 

  “Oh fuck!  When did I get these orders?” she asked, and she typed in more, “Today?  That’s…that’s impossible!  Fuck!  I’m in deep shit now!” she said, and Quatre climbed up to see what was wrong.

 

  “Hey what’s wrong?” he asked, she looked at him with fear in her eyes, “Are you okay?”

 

  “No.  I’m fine…I’m fine.  I…I got orders today.  My father is alive…and he wants me to kill…the five gundam pilots.  If he comes after me he is gong to kill me.” She said, and she deleted the orders, “He’ll never get me to hurt you.” She said and Quatre kissed her, a tear fell from her eye, she broke away from him, “If he found me here then that means that he knows everything.  He knows everything I did these past few weeks, what I’ve done with you.  He probably knows it all.” She said quietly.

 

  “Oh Kayley, it’s okay.  I won’t let him hurt you.  I promise, I’ll protect you.” He said and she hugged him.

 

  “I don’t deserve you.  I really don’t.” she whispered.

 

  “Kayley is everything all right?” Heero asked climbing up to them.

 

  “Yeah, I’m fine.  It’s all okay, I should probably get down there and tell you what you need to know.” She said, she sighed and stood up.  Heero climbed back down and Quatre stopped her.

 

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, she smiled and kissed his cheek.

 

  “As long as I have you, I’m fine.” She said and she climbed down and he followed her, “Okay what do you want to know about my little devil here?”

 

  “Is that what it’s called?” Duo asked.

 

  “No.  This is Maaxah.” She said, Duo looked clueless.

 

  “What’s that mean?” Duo asked, she thought.

 

  “It’s almost like Shinigami.  It’s an Irish word meaning many things, it means ‘Crow’, ‘Battle’, ‘Great Queen of Phantoms’, ‘Mother of Life and Death’, ‘War Goddess’ and ‘Mother Death’.” She said and Duo smiled.

 

  “That is so cool!  That’s ALMOST like Shinigami.  Not quite.” He said.  She laughed.

 

  “How do you spell that?” Zechs asked, he was writing down the information she told them.

 

  “M A C H A.” she spelled slowly.  He wrote it down, “What else?”

 

  “Classification and model number?”

 

  “Mobile suit.  O Z zero zero M S zero D six.” She said and he wrote it all down.

 

  “Head height and dry weight?”

 

  “Umm…head height is seventeen point three meters, and dry weight is seven point six tons.” She said and he wrote it down.

 

  “Generator output and thruster output?”

 

  “Generator is four thousand one hundred forty-nine kilowatts.  And Thruster is ninety thousand four hundred twenty-one kilograms.” She said and Heero’s eyes shot wide open.

 

  “Jesus Christ!  What the hell!  How do you handle all that?” he asked.

 

  “Because I’m good.  What else?” she asked Zechs.

 

  “Armor materials and Armament?”

 

  “Okay, it’s Gundanium alloy, and it’s got two vulcans, two beam sabers, two heat shotels, two machine cannons, and one twin buster rifle.  Which technically if you think about it, it’s two buster rifles.” She said, Duo laughed, he was really the only one who understood her humor.

 

  “Good.  I think we can put it in the hanger.  If it’s okay with you.” Zechs said, and Kayley thought.

 

  “I dunno.  I was seriously thinking of just getting my ass into outer space and blowin it up.  I really don’t want this thing anymore…it causes me no end of trouble.” She said, she sighed, “I suppose I’ll keep it around a little longer.  It may come in handy someday.  Who knows?” she said, and she looked at Zechs, “So how do you propose we get it there?  Did you want me to fly it or what?” she asked, and he thought.

 

  “It would be faster if you flew it.  Would you be able to do that?” he asked.

 

  “I guess so…oh crap, that means I have to turn it on!” she exclaimed, he nodded, as if it were an obvious point, “You didn’t tell me that!” she said sarcastically, “Okay, okay.” She said and she climbed up to the cockpit, and Quatre looked at her.

 

  “Can I talk to you before you go?” he asked, she nodded and he climbed up after her.

 

  “What is it?” she asked, she sat down and he stood over her.

 

  “About your father…are you sure the orders were from him?” he asked, she sighed.

 

  “Yes.  I heard his voice telling me not to mess up.  It was him.” She said quietly.

 

  “But he won’t come after you, will he?”

 

  “He probably will…he’ll probably come after me and he’ll most likely kill me.  I cannot change that.  I cannot stop him.” She said.

 

  “Why?”

 

  “He holds power over me.  He holds my fears in his hands and uses them to control me, he uses my fears to beat me.” She said and she began to cry, “That’s what power is…it’s holding some one else’s fear in your hand and showing it to them.” She said.

 

  “Hey Quatre!  Get out of there!  She can’t pilot that thing with you in it!” Duo yelled, completely unaware of the situation that had arisen in the cockpit of the gundam.  Quatre sighed.

 

  “Everything will be fine.” He said and he climbed down from the gundam and got into his car.

 

  A little less than a month had gone by, and Kayley had stopped worrying about her father.  She started sleeping again because the thought of him being alive kept her awake for two weeks.  Quatre did all he could to assure her that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her.  It was a Saturday morning and Kayley was sleeping peacefully next to Quatre, who was awake and watching her sleep.  Then he heard the front door open and close, and then heard a light knock on the bedroom door.  Quatre slowly got out of bed and went to the door.

 

  “Hi Heero.  What is it?” Quatre asked, Heero peered in the room to see Kayley asleep.

 

  “We wanted to talk to you…and her.” He said monotonously.

 

  “Who’s we?”

 

  “The four of us pilots want to talk to you two.” He said and Quatre grew nervous.

 

  “Why doesn’t this sound good?”

 

  “Don’t worry about whether it’s good or bad, just get her up and get yourselves dressed.” Heero said and Quatre nodded and closed the door.  He went to Kayley and sat next to her.

 

  “Kayley.” He said quietly, “Kayley you have to get up now.” He said, and her eyes opened and she was staring at his face.

 

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, seeing his worried look.

 

  “The others need to talk to us.  Don’t ask why, I don’t know.” He said, she sat up and cocked an eyebrow.

 

  “Okay.” she said slowly and climbed out of bed and got dressed.  Five minutes later they came out to see Heero, Duo, Trowa and Wufei sitting in the living room waiting for them, “Good morning gentlemen, now to get down to business.” Kayley said, as though she were the one that called them there.

 

  “Just sit down.” Heero said, she gave him her own version of a death glare and sat down.  Quatre also sat down, “Now, it’s obvious what’s going on with you two.  And that’s all fine and dandy.” He said.

 

  “Did Heero just say ‘dandy’?” Quatre thought to himself.

 

  “But that does raise a very important question.” Heero said.

 

  “And that would be?” Kayley asked, they all looked at her and saw how annoyed she had become with them.

 

  “Are we going to lose a pilot or are we going to gain a pilot?” Trowa asked, Quatre went wide-eyed.

 

  “What?  How could you ask that?”

 

  “We need to know.” Replied Wufei.

 

  “Neither.  You’re not going to lose a pilot.  And you’re not going to gain a pilot.” She said monotonously.

 

  “But…” Duo said, and she looked at him.

 

  “I’m not joining you.”

 

  “But you’re a great pilot.  You could join with the Preventers.” Trowa said.

 

  “That fact that I’m a great pilot doesn’t matter.  I don’t like piloting that thing.  I hate that gundam. And I don’t like being a pilot.  It’s bad enough it’s still in one piece. That gundam did things to me that I sometimes had to spend weeks reversing.  I don’t need it fucking with my mind anymore, I got enough of that while I was growing up, I don’t need anymore of it.  I just don’t want to pilot it anymore.  It should be destroyed.” She said quietly, the stunned pilots weren’t sure what else to say.

 

  “But we really could use you.  You’d be great on missions.” Duo said, and Kayley smiled.

 

  “You guys do fine on your own.  You don’t need me.” She said, and they stared at Quatre.

 

  “Don’t ask me.  I’m not gonna try to persuade her.” He said in his defense.

 

  “Come on Quatre buddy.  I’m sure you know of a few methods of persuasion that might work on her.” Duo said smiling mischievously at him and Kayley sighed.

 

  “I know what you’re thinking of Duo.  And it won’t work.  There is NOTHING Quatre can do to change my mind.  The fact of the matter is that that gundam does terrible things to me.  It…it…does awful…awful things to me.  Besides my using it as a weapon of destruction…my father used it on me as another way to torture me…not my body…it tortures my mind.  It changes me…if I’m in it for more than two hours it begins its corruption.  I’ve never come out of that thing the same as when I went in it.  It has raped my mind in sickening ways.  It’s just a bad machine, I won’t pilot it anymore…unless I absolutely need to.” She said quietly, they went silent.  They really didn’t want to change her mind anymore.  Then something came flying on through the window, shattering it.  Then smoke came out of it; they all covered their noses and mouths.  But it was strong and they all fell unconscious.

 

  Kayley woke up in a brightly-lit room, hanging from the ceiling by chains on her wrists.  She blinked a few times trying to figure out what had happened, she looked to her left to see the five pilots locked in separate cages.  Then one by one they began to wake up.  When they saw her hanging from the ceiling they got worried.

 

  “Ah, the Demoiselle Trépas is awake.” Said a voice.  Then a tall and muscular man walked into the room, laughing at them.  Kayley said nothing “I’ve noticed that you gentlemen have taken a liking to her.  But you…” he said looking at Quatre, “You have done something that I cannot allow.  You’ve gotten my angel of death pregnant.” The pilots’ eyes went wide.  Kayley stared at him, not at all believing what he said.  Then he went to Kayley, seeing her disbelief, “Trust me, it’s true.  You’re about a month pregnant.  But now, how do we deal with such a problem?” he asked, he then turned to the pilots again, “Well I suppose the first course of action would be to kill you five.” He said.

 

  “No!  Don’t hurt them.  Just let them go.” She said, the man smiled and turned to her.

 

  “Now tell me, how many broken ribs do you have?” he asked, she didn’t answer him, “How many?” he yelled in her face.

 

  “None.” She whispered, he punched her hard and laughed.

 

  “Now you have two.  Keep talking and we can make it four.” He said, Quatre watched as she had taken the punch without making a sound.  He turned to the pilots again, “Because of you, my daughter may never be the way she was before.  I may have to kill her.” He said, and Quatre’s heart stopped, “Percible, Charles, Elizabeth, Rose, Harry!  You can come in now!  Bring the computer!” he yelled and within seconds the five people he called came in, one rolling a large computer along as he walked.  The man set it up and smiled at Kayley.

 

  “She hasn’t changed at all Cullin.  That’s good.” The man with the computer said.

 

  “Yes well, before we begin, I want her to know just how much trouble she is in.” Cullin said, he turned to Kayley, “This will hurt a lot.” He said, he punched her in the face with his large hands, her nose and lip began to bleed.  He kept punching her in the face until her eyes started to bleed, Quatre watched in horror as the beautiful girl he watched sleep that morning was being beaten to death by her own father.  As he beat her, one of the men watching was keeping an eye on Quatre and his facial expressions.

 

  “What are we doing?  We’re destroying love.  How can we be this heartless?  When did we become like this?  He loves her, why are we destroying that?” he thought, then one of the women looked at him.

 

  “Charles, what’s wrong?” she asked.

 

  “We’re making a mistake Elizabeth.  Look at the blonde boy…look at his face.  He loves her, and we’re mutilating that love.  We can’t do this…this is lower than everything else we did to her.” He said, and Elizabeth cocked an eyebrow.  Charles ran to Cullin and stopped him, “Cullin, stop it now!  We can’t do this to them!  Stop this!” he said and her father stop beating her to look at Charles, Kayley’s body was covered in bruises, yet she didn’t make a sound.

 

  “Excuse me?  What did you say?” Cullin asked.

 

  “We cannot do this.  Don’t you see it?” he said pointing to Quatre, “That is love…and we’re killing their chance at love!  And just because you messed up your own love doesn’t mean you have to destroy hers!” he said, and Cullin’s face turned red.

 

  “I told you to never talk about that!” he yelled, “This is different!  This is about obeying orders!” he yelled.

 

  “Does obeying orders mean killing the ones you love?  That may have been true in your case, but it’s not in Kayley’s!  She loves him and you want to annihilate that?  How could you do that to your own daughter?” Charles asked.

 

  “I told you, never speak of my deceased wife again!” he yelled, then he slowly reached behind his back.

 

  “Charles…look out.” Kayley said slowly, he didn’t hear her, Cullin had the gun in his hand, “Charles!” Kayley tried to yell, but it was inaudible.  Cullin aimed the gun and shot Charles in the head, killing him instantly.  His body fell to the floor as bits of his skull and brain flew about the room.  Kayley was shocked, she looked at the dead body on the floor, though he hurt her just as they all did, he wanted to stop her father, he wanted to help her.  Cullin kicked the body aside, threw his gun on the floor and signaled for Percible.

 

  “Get the computer ready.  Now we get rid of the unborn child.” He said snickering.

 

  “What?” Quatre yelled, “Why?”

 

  “Because Quatre, it poses a huge problem.  If I let Kayley live, I can’t have her taking care of a child while she’s supposed to be assassinating.  It would get in the way.” Cullin said nastily, Quatre had never in his life wanted to kill anyone more than he wanted to kill Kayley’s father.  Wufei, who was right next to Quatre, could feel the hate burning inside the Sandrock pilot.  Kayley hung there, knowing there was nothing she could do to save the unborn child.

 

  “I’ve got the image.  Now, you should stab her right about…” he said looking at the screen and then went to Kayley and unbuttoned her jeans and let them fall to the ground, he took a pen and drew a line across her lower abdomen, “here.” He said.  Kayley’s eyes went wide; her mouth was hanging open in disbelief.  They were going to perform an abortion on her without her consent.

 

  “Father please.  Don’t do this to me.  I swear to god I’ll do anything.  Please, don’t do this.” Kayley begged, and both the women in the room understood what she was feeling.  Cullin simply laughed at her.

 

  “And what do you propose we do with it?” he asked, still laughing.

 

  “Let them go, and give it to Quatre when it’s born.  I’ll stay with you, just let them go and when the child is born give it to him.” She said quietly, Cullin seemed to be kicking the idea around in his head.

 

  “Cullin.  Do it.  Let the child be born.” Rose said, “Give it to its father when it comes.  Just let the child live.” Cullin looked to his daughter once again.

 

  “You’re just like your mother.  She would have come up with the same solution.  A solution where no one gets hurt too badly.  Well sorry Elizabeth, sorry mother, but this is just the way it is.” He said, Rose went to her daughter Elizabeth and sought comfort, which Elizabeth gladly gave.

 

  “Brother, you’re making a mistake.  Charles was right; this is lower than anything else we ever did to her.  This is madness.” She said, and Cullin sighed.

 

  “Listen Elizabeth this is how it’s going to be.  If you want to keep arguing I can kill you like I did Charles, or you can shut up and stand in the back and not watch.  I’m going to kill the child and that’s that.” He said, he went to a counter and grabbed a knife, he then made a fire in a sink and held the knife over the fire.  The pilots sat in the cages and could not move at all, what they were seeing was insane and they were too stunned to move.  Cullin went to Kayley and took the point of the knife and cut lines into her palms so that there was a cross shape in her palms, “Now your palms show the mark of two stupid moves.  Trying to escape and getting pregnant.” He said, her hands bled down her sleeve.  She could feel the burning flesh in her hand, and it hurt to no end.  He then pushed her shirt above her bra and went back and held the knife over the fire one last time.  He went back to her, he held the knife up to the pen mark, and she could feel her skin blistering, then without warning the knife was forced into her abdomen.  She felt the flesh ripping, the burning of her own skin, she felt it tear through everything.  She screamed in pain, Rose and Elizabeth watched in horror as a woman’s heart cried out in agony as the knowledge of the death of her unborn child came painfully to her.  Cullin left the knife in and looked to Percible, whose face turned ghostly white.

 

  “What have we done?” he asked himself.

 

  “Percible, is the child dead?” Cullin asked, and Percible looked to the screen sorrowfully.

 

  “Yes.  It’s gone.” He replied, Cullin then looked to Kayley and took the knife out of her gut.  She wasn’t screaming anymore, but she crying her heart out.  Blood flowed freely from the wound down her legs and dripped onto the floor.  Quatre was speechless, tears fell from his eyes and he didn’t even realize it.  His heart was broken, he stared at the betrayed woman hanging from the ceiling, her tears seemed to never end, and he couldn’t blame her.  Cullin went to his daughter, put her pants back on her, pulled her shirt back down and laughed, “Cullin, I think she’s dying.  I think you took too drastic measures on this whole thing.  You’re killing your own daughter, mine and Elizabeth’s and Charles’ niece, Rose’s and Harry’s granddaughter, you’re killing her.” Percible said, and Cullin went and unlocked the chains and Kayley fell to the floor.  A pool of blood suddenly surrounded her; she landed on top of the gun her father had thrown after he shot Charles.  Kayley’s bleeding hand had fallen onto Charles’ hand.  Kayley’s face quickly became covered in blood, it got in her hair, she was completely covered in it.  Rose had begun to cry, as did Elizabeth and Harry, who had said nothing since he entered the room.  Rose ran to Kayley’s body in an attempt to help her.  Rose began to run her fingers through Kayley’s blood matted hair.  She then kissed the back of her head.

 

  “I’m so sorry.” She said and she stood up and faced her son, “How could you do that to her?  You bloody killed her!  How could you do that?” she asked.  Cullin looked at his mother, unable to answer.  On the floor, Kayley felt the gun under her, she held Charles’ dead hand tightly, she pushed herself up as best she could, blood dripping from every part of her body.  She slowly wrapped her aching fingers around the gun and forced herself to stand up.

 

  “Quatre look.” Wufei said, Quatre had stopped looking, but then he looked up to see Kayley standing and alive.

 

  “Father.  You always…t…t…told me…that…my enemy was…was anyone who was…after m…m…my life.  And that…I…I should always k…k…kill my enemy…b…before my…enemy…kills me.” She stuttered, and she held the gun up and aimed at him, “You are my enemy.  I…must always eliminate my enemy.” She stuttered and she shot at him, hitting him between the eyes and killing him.  His skull and brain became scattered around the room, just as Charles’ had, “I am not your…angel.  I…I am no one’s angel.”  She then shot Percible and Elizabeth, killing them both instantly.  She saw Rose and Harry, “I…I believe we have never met.  You…you must be…my…my grandparents.  I wish I could…s…somehow explain this…but I can’t.” she said stuttering and still in excruciating pain.  She bent over her fathers body and went through his pocket and took the keys, she then stumbled over to the cages.  But she couldn’t force herself to stand anymore.  She fell to the ground.  Rose and Harry went to help her.

 

  “Harry, unlock those boys.  This is ridiculous.” Rose said, and she sat Kayley up, “Oh dear, it’s okay, everything will be okay.” Harry picked up the keys and began to try each one on the lock to Trowa’s cage, once he found it he opened the door and Trowa walked out.  He looked at the carnage around him and sighed.  Harry proceeded to let Duo out and then Heero, who ran to her and saw the true extent of the suffering she endured that day.  Wufei was let out and finally Quatre, who fearfully went to her.  When Kayley saw Quatre she immediately started to cry again, she couldn’t look at him.  Her grandmother held her tightly.

 

  “Wufei, call Sally!  Get her here now!” Heero said, and Wufei searched for a phone.

 

  “There’s one over there.” Harry said, pointing to a cordless phone, Wufei dialed Sally.  As Wufei waited for Sally to be put on the phone, Kayley again forced herself to her feet.  She made her way to the computer, she walked slowly, stepping over the bodies that littered the floor.  The gun she held tightly in her hand was now aimed at the computer.  Then she lowered her gun and went to the keyboard.  Typing slowly, she shut it down, and then stood back and again aimed at it, shooting it with the last bullets left in the barrel.  Sparks flew and it began to flame.  She dropped her gun and lowered her head, her body began to sway, she was going to fall.  Quatre ran to her and held her, preventing her from falling.

 

  “Where are we?” Wufei asked suddenly.

 

  “We’re at thirteen Georgian Court.  Right outside the Sanq kingdom.” Harry said and Wufei relayed the address to Sally, he then hung up and looked at them.

 

  “She says she’ll be here in twenty minutes.  And that we should wait outside.”

 

  “Did you tell her what happened?” Duo asked.

 

  “No.  I told her some of the elements of it, but not what happened or who got hurt.” He said, Quatre looked at him.

 

  “Thanks Wufei.” Quatre said, as he held a crying Kayley and he could nothing to comfort her.  Heero looked around the room, the floor shining red with the blood of five people, four of which were dead.

 

  “She killed her father and aunt and uncle without a second thought to any of them.  She feels nothing for them, nothing at all for them.” Heero thought, he looked at her, crying and bleeding.  She was losing a lot of blood and she was already looking paler and paler.  She wasn’t even standing on her own; Quatre was holding her up and keeping her from falling.

 

  “Come on guys, let’s get out of here.  It’s starting to smell funky.” Duo said, and they all went for the door, all except Rose and Harry.  Quatre helped Kayley walk, which she was failing at miserably.

 

  “We’re staying.  And whatever you hear, stay out.” Harry said, Rose smiled and nodded.

 

  “Just stay away if you hear anything.” She said, and Quatre heard this and knew what they planned, but he could do nothing about it.  They continued and when they were outside they found that it was pitch black, they could barely see each other.  Quatre tried to keep Kayley awake, as she slipped in and out of consciousness, then she fell down unconscious.  He picked her up and held her, waiting for Sally.  Then they heard sirens in the distance, and then they could see flashing lights.  An ambulance stopped in front of the house and as Sally climbed out Heero heard two gun shots from inside the house.  Sally used her flashlight to see the boys and she gasped when she saw Kayley.  Blood covered Kayley’s entire body, she didn’t look like the girl Sally had seen at the ball.

 

  “Get her into the ambulance!” she yelled, they put her inside onto a bed and they all climbed in and the driver drove away, “What the hell happened?” she asked, none of them wanted to answer.  What they saw was sickening and disturbing and they didn’t want to tell her about it.

 

  “It was her father.” Quatre said quietly, “He hurt her really badly.” He said and then he bent over Kayley’s body and unbuttoned the pants and rolled them down a little to show the stab wound.

 

  “What the hell?  Oh Jesus…this is really low.” She said, and she put two and two together, “She was pregnant?” she asked and Quatre nodded, “And so her father performed a very sickening type of abortion.” She whispered, “Great…that’s just wonderful.  The knife was obviously put in a fire.  What the hell was he thinking?” she whispered as she cut Kayley’s shirt off and examined the rest of the damage, “Why?” she asked herself.

 

  Days went by and Kayley sat on the bed staring into space for most of the time she was awake.  She really couldn’t believe what had happened to her, she couldn’t understand it at all.  Quatre went to her everyday and sat with her, when she wasn’t staring off into space she was crying.  What her father had done to her was inconceivable.  She heard the voices at times while she stared off into space.

 

  “Well at least you finally got up the nerve to kill the bastard.” Said the harsh voice.  And a laugh could be heard.

 

  “Playing both sides of the fence I see.” The kind voiced said laughing.

 

  “No…it’s just that, she had a point…he taught her that anyone after her life was her enemy and that she should always kill her enemy.  He was killing her and damn near did and she killed him because he had become her enemy.” The harsh voice said, and still laughter could be heard from the kind voice.  Then Kayley’s thoughts could be heard.

 

  “You two aren’t fighting or giving me a headache.  This is a moment that should go down in history.”

 

  “Oh shut up you!” said the harsher voice to Kayley.

 

  “Be nice.” Said the kinder voice.

 

  “I should name you two.  Just so I have something to call you.” Kayley thought.  Both voices went silent.

 

  “What?  Name us?  What would you name us?” asked the harsh voice.

 

  “Give me a moment to think about it…how about for the mean one we call you Ruby and for the nice one we call you Jade?  What do you think?”

 

  “I like it.  Jade.  It’s pretty.  And Ruby sounds nice too.” Jade said.

 

  “It’s cool.  Okay you can call me Ruby.” Ruby said.  And Jade laughed.

 

  “You’re actually being nice for once.  It’s amazing.”

 

  “Shut up Jade!  Oh and Kayley?” Ruby asked.

 

  “Yeah?”

 

  “Great job killing your dad and Elizabeth and Percy.  I think it was the smartest thing you’ve ever done.” Ruby said.

 

  “Yes, definitely a smart move on your part Kayley.  I congratulate you for that.” Jade said.

 

  “Thanks guys.  Do you realize you two just AGREED on something?  Damn it!  This is a new experience for me.  Maybe now you’ll stop giving me headaches and stop throwing me into schizophrenias.  Do you think you can do that for me?” and Kayley would think no more and hear them only in the back of her mind.

 

  On a Sunday morning Quatre quietly walked into the hospital room she was in and sat in the chair.  He watched her sleep, though she slept less soundly than on the morning before the incident.  Suddenly she shot up and had a surprised look on her face.  She saw him sitting there looking at her.  She decided that it was no use crying, she knew she couldn’t get back what her father had taken from her.  She had started to think that it was her fault that the child was gone. 

 

  “I’m so sorry.” She said quietly, Quatre didn’t understand what she was apologizing for.

 

  “What?”

 

  “I’m so sorry.  I could have stopped him from the start.  My legs were free, but I couldn’t use them.  I knew I had the strength to beat him, he’s not very strong, he just has a very hard punch, I could have stopped him from the beginning.  But when he was near me I was helpless, it was almost like he could control me.  I let him kill the unborn child because I couldn’t fight back, I could do nothing but hang there.” She whispered, Quatre went to sit next to her, he held her close while she seemed to become lost and her heart shattered.

 

  “It’s not your fault.  Really everything will be okay.  It was not your fault, he was an intimidating man, I could understand being afraid of him.” He said, she sighed.

 

  “Thank you.  But I still think that I should have done something before he could hurt me like that.” She said.

 

  “You killed him.  And the other two, you finally got revenge on them for torturing you so badly throughout your life.”

 

  “There’s no amount of torture I could have inflicted upon them that would even come close to the torture they put me through.  But I didn’t care anymore; I just wanted so bad to kill them.  Elizabeth and Percible and my father as well as Charles all should have been killed years ago, but I couldn’t do it then.” She paused and a thought filled her head, “I was pregnant.  I was pregnant.  We would have been parents.  Can you believe that?” she asked, he smiled slightly at the thought, but then they both frowned when they remembered what had happened.  He held her tighter.

 

  “It would have been nice.  It really would have been nice.  But this just means we’ll have to try again another time.” He said, she smiled at him, “That’s the first time you’ve smiled since this whole thing happened.  I love that smile.” He said and she blushed.

 

  A month later Kayley had fully recovered, though the other pilots didn’t really know what to think about what had happened.  She assured them that they didn’t need to look too much into it, what was done was done and they couldn’t change it.  They tried as best they could to help her, and she got annoyed with it after the first few hours.  It was the middle of April, and Kayley was standing on the balcony of her bedroom, watching Duo try to teach the other pilots the game of baseball, the ‘Great American Pastime’ as he called it.  Kayley laughed at Wufei’s attempt to bat.  Next up was Quatre, and Duo was pitching.  Kayley decided to bother her Arabian lover.

 

  “Hey batter batter!  Hey batter batter!  Swing!” she yelled, and Quatre swung at the pitch.  She laughed loudly at him.  He looked up at her looking mad, “No offense, but you guys suck!  Duo’s the only decent player out there!” she yelled, Duo felt proud of himself.

 

  “Then you try!” Wufei yelled, immediately regretting it.  A broad smiled spread over Kayley’s face.

 

  “Okay.” She said and she left and then went down the stairs and into the backyard.

 

  “Yes!  Finally a good player.  I hope.” Duo said, and Kayley took the bat from Quatre.

 

“Move aside small-fry.” She said to Quatre, he cocked an eyebrow and moved out of the way, “Who’s the catcher, is that Trowa?” she asked, Trowa nodded, “Move back a bit, ‘cause I will take your head off if you’re too close.” She said and Trowa moved back.  Kayley stood ready for Duo to pitch, but he was staring with his head to the right side, she looked around, “Duo?  Duo!  Stop looking at my ass!  Pitch the ball!” she said, he looked at her.

 

  “Oh yeah.” He said, he pitched a fast ball and she swung at it, hitting it right over Duo’s head and into some trees.  She laughed and walked the makeshift bases slowly so Duo would have time to get the ball.  He ran to the trees in search of the ball, when he found it he ran back and found that she was at the third base, slowly making her way to home plate.  He ran as fast as he could and she still walked.  She saw him and ran to home plate and Duo was very unhappy.

 

  “Next time Duo.  Next time.” She laughed and she stood with Quatre.

 

  “Small-fry?” Quatre asked, she laughed, “I’m taller than you are.”

 

  “So?  And that means what to me?” she asked.  Quatre stared at her, and decided to ask her something.

 

  “Can I ask you a hypothetical question?”

 

  “Yeah, sure.”

 

  “What would you do if I asked you to marry me?” he asked, she stared at him, stunned by his question.  All the other pilots heard this and were listening for her answer.

 

  “Oh my.  Well, I’d honestly have to ask you what it means to marry some one.  I really wouldn’t know.” She said, he sighed.

 

  “Well, marriage is when you love some one enough that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person.  You promise to love that person forever, and take care of that person, and protect that person.  You spend the rest of your life with that person, you live through everything together, and you grow old together, retire to somewhere far away together and die together.” He explained, she looked him in the eyes.

 

  “Then I would answer you yes.” She said, and he smiled.  He grabbed her face and kissed her passionately.  He then ran into the house and left Kayley dazed, “Okay.  Well that was different.” She said to herself.  Five minutes later Quatre came back, walking to them, as he walked by a rose bush he picked a red rose.  He stood in front of Kayley, handed her the rose and sighed.

 

  “Now can I ask you a serious question?”

 

  “O…Okay.” She said quietly, Quatre took a small box out of his pocket and opened it, revealing a diamond ring.  The other pilots were watching intently.  He smiled, staring deep into her eyes before speaking.

 

  “Will…Will you marry me?”

 

  “So Jade?  Ruby?  What do ya say?  Do I take a chance?” Kayley thought to herself, waiting for them to answer her.

 

  “Go for it.  Take a chance on him.” Jade said.

 

  “Go right ahead.  You’re safe with him.  Try something new.” Ruby said.

 

  “For once you’ve both been helpful at the same time.” Kayley thought and she stared into Quatre’s eyes, she sighed.  The other pilots stared at her, waiting for her to say ‘yes’.

 

  “Say it!” Ruby and Jade yelled.

 

  “Yes.” Kayley answered.

 

*And what happens next is a whole other story.*