Author:Lyndaura
Warnings: Usual stuff
Authors Notes: THIS PART IS DEDICATED TO TIFF FOR HER SUPPORT AND E-MAILS!
LUV YA GURL! Tiff is awesome by the way. She was the first person to e-mail me with
comments. She is now my best friend for that fact alone. But other than that she is interesting,
funny and great to talk to! Everyone applaud for her! Yay! All right, now on to the story. It''s
very straightforward. Heero gets tortured and my general weirdness, what else can I warn you
about? Pyro George hates this one, but I''m not writing it again. There is only so much a muse
can do. Um…… upon writing this I think there might be 5 or 6 Heero torture parts. Sorry.
Part 7: Into the Depths of One's Soul - Part B
Emotional Battlegrounds
Heero glanced up and down the beach and couldn't figure out what part of it was the third layer.
Peace shook her head and helped Heero up. Heero brushed away some of the sand, and tried to
get some blood off, but it had permanently stained his shirt and shorts. Peace shrugged and
handed Heero a sword with a dove engraved on the handle, she then motioned for Heero to
follow her into the forest that lay about 100 feet in front of them.
Heero followed quietly and kept a vigilant eye. Peace was silent as she made her way through
the lush and dense forest. The pathway was well kept and there weren't any plants on the path,
or intruding in their way. Peace merely stayed quiet knowing that the next layer would be almost
as bad as the last. He didn't know what his training had done to him. Peace ran a hand through
his long loose hair and wished that she could take back her decision and get out of here. Maybe
it would ease her conscience if she didn't have to watch the torture.
Peace could see the clearing in the distance accompanied by loud rolling thunder. She knew that
a storm was fast approaching which would only make the battle worse. Heero followed
diligently and only wished that the screaming that had carried over from the previous layer
would stop. They were fainter now, but each one cut into his mind like a brutal knife, hacking
away at his sanity. Again and again they persisted, making Heero cringe and constantly get
distracted. He hated those voices…… ancient echoes from his past that only reminded him of
past sins. Not that it mattered anymore.
The trees began to twist and waver at the sudden gust of wind that tore through the forest as a
loud scream that rung louder than the rest filled Heero''s ears. Heero flinched at the ear-piercing
shriek and clenched his sword tighter. He knew that voice.
""We''re here,"" Peace exited the forest and Heero came out into a rectangle clearing. He could
now see the approaching storm clouds that were almost over the field. There in his mist was a
horrible sight, as there stood three armies.
One was quite small, all dressed in white as the soldiers stood out against the dark back round,
and they''re only weapon was a small shield that they held with pride and honour. They were
quiet and had no real motivation to fight, but stood their ground nonetheless. The leader seemed
brave enough, but he definitely didn't want to fight. His white horse was the only horse out of
the whole troop, but stood tall and firm, yet somehow quite fragile.
In the middle of the field, there was an army slightly larger that was completely clothed in grey.
The army had small swords and nothing more. The leader didn't seem happy about the other two
armies, and Heero viewed him as more of a pessimist, in the fact that although his army was
ready and poised to fight, he knew he was going to lose, and also die. Heero couldn't blame him,
but he knew that if he was going to think that way, he was truly doomed. His face was so
forsaken and depressed Heero knew that the man wanted to die. His horse almost displayed the
same image of him. Lost and filled with sorrow. Hollow eyes reflected nothing but grave
depression and bleakness. Even though the army was better off than the white, with only the top
officials having horses, the army knew their fate, and with mournful hearts they rose to meet it.
Heero felt sorry for the two armies, because in comparison, the dark army outnumbered them at
least ten to one. The dark army was adorned in black and had clear superiority. They were
faceless and cold, unlike the other army; they all bore large swords, spears, horses, arrows and
large thick shields. Heero knew the outcome of the battle before it even started. The three armies
were at a face off, and all that was left was for someone to make the first move.
One of the superior officers from the dark army stepped forth and faced Heero. He was tall and
well built with a large frame and dark hair. His eyes were an undeterminable colour. He was one
of the only soldiers that actually had a face, and it was a scarred, menacing one at that. Heero
tried not to be intimidated by his actions, but found he struck a fear in Heero''s heart that he was
not aware he had.
""Heero,"" he called out chuckling a sinister laugh.
""What the hell do you want?"" Heero shouted back, determined not to let the officer know he
was scared.
""You can not lie to yourself,"" the officer spat to his side and with a swift movement of his
hand a young girl was brought forth. She was wearing battered and blood stained clothes. Her
upper lip was swollen and her nose was bleeding. Her hands were tired together tightly as her
hands were a deep shade of purple, and there was blood trickling down her arm. There were tear-streaks down her face, and her hair was matted. Her cries for help were merely muffled by the
gag around her mouth. Her eyes were red and tear-stained, but they only pleaded to be saved.
She twisted her head and looked helplessly at Heero as she was shoved to the ground, forced to
bow in front of the leader.
"Relena……" Heero breathed and felt the sudden urge to slit the man's throat.
"So be it," the man commanded and the girl was brought before the commander. Heero got
ready to run at the officer, but knew that was not an option as he saw the many guards that were
surrounding him. Peace knew what he was thinking. He had finally overcome his self-destructiveness.
The commander descended off his horse and drew his sword, "She was an easy bitch to catch.
Gave right up. But she always said you would come and save her. Such blind faith in you. So
very blind."
Heero watched in horror as Relena's head was yanked up by her hair and the tall dark man
smiled as he looked into Relena's eyes, filled with dread and terror. He took his drawn sword
and pressed it against her neck. "Are you seeing this Heero?"
Heero was silent and knew what he was going to do. In one swift moment the commander
brought his blade across her neck, but just as he was about to cut he stopped. "No, wait……" the
commander ordered for her to face Heero. He watched as they grabbed Relena''s arms violently
and twisted her until she was facing Heero. Heero could see the whites of her eyes as the
commander stood behind her.
Relena was screaming with all her might. Heero could hear the muffled screams through the gag.
The commander undid her gag and Heero could clearly hear her yelling and screaming his name
over and over again, begging for his help. It echoed through the forest untamed, and he felt a
shiver work its way down his back as it rang over and over again. He tightened his grip on his
sword and inched forward. Peace placed a gentle hand on his shoulder though and shook her
head. There was nothing that he could do.
Heero watched helplessly as officer took his sword and ran it smoothly along Relena's throat.
Her soft, untainted neck was now cut wide open and blood was streaming over it. The cut wasn't
deep, but enough to slit her windpipe. Relena tried to scream, but it only came out as a bloody
whimper. Heero ground his teeth together and watched in humiliation and hatred as Relena
slowly suffocated and bleed to death.
Tears threatened Heero's eyes as saw her suffer. She lay on the ground whimpering and crying
as the guards and the soldier laughed at her weakness. Heero had to control his breathing, but
seeing her die was eating away at him, her eyes pleading with him. Heero tried to look strong for
her, but he could feel his legs starting to tremble. Peace closed her eyes. Something was finally
getting through to his heart. Breaking the barrier in the first layer had finally worked.
But no tears fell. Heero stayed calm and looked as unemotional as ever as Relena looked at him
with love, hate and fear at all the same time. She loved him. Heero knew that she loved him. He
tried to focus on figuring out a way to kill the commander, but her eyes just drew him back. He
couldn't help but watch. He cared for her too. He had protected her, and been there for her, and
he knew why. It wasn''t just a matter of keeping peace between the colonies, it was because he
cared for her. He cared for the fucking bitch. Heero didn''t know how
to explain it, but he did. He didn''t want to but he did.
Relena started to struggle but the leader only kicked her hard in the side. A deafening crack
filled the air and Relena''s face contorted and changed into one of complete anguish. Heero
could see the obtrusive bone sticking out from her side. Her shirt slowly soaking with the last of
her blood. He had broken her rib.
""Look away Heero,"" Peace instructed and Heero could only comply. He turned and faced
Peace. She shook her head and reached out and held him. He didn''t want to be here. He was
relieved to have the physical reassurance that Peace held. It was all too surreal.
How could they do that to her? She was fighting for peace…… and she dies in violence.
Peace closed her eyes and held Heero close to her breast while she wrapped her arms and wings
around him snuggly, trying to block out the mutilation that was taking place to Relena''s half
dead body. Heero couldn''t do anything but rest his head on her chest and breathe. The image of
that man burned inside his mind and the thought of Relena dying was no less comforting. Heero
could hear them beating the body over and over again with the end of their spears. Relena tried
to scream over and over again, but her choking sobs were barely audible. But to Heero they were
crystal clear. He had let her down and now she was dying a slow and excruciating death.
Heero could hear the men laughing, and the storm clouds approaching, but the only sound that
really registered in Heero''s mind was the sobs of Relena. Heero could fee the feeling of betrayal
burning in her voice, or what was left of it at least.
Heero tried to pull away but Peace wouldn''t let him. He tried again and he managed to get out
of Peace''s grasp. Just in time to see the commander grab Relena''s slit neck and then with a
deafening crack. He had snapped her neck and killed her in cold blood.
As soon as the neck was snapped, the war began and he could see the three sides charge at each
other blindly and begin to slaughter each other brutally. Heero could see them charge together
and just as he saw the first sword come down he felt a pain in his shoulder. Then one in his neck,
and then all over his body he could feel sharp pains.
Peace ran to his side just as he felt his body collapse underneath him. It felt like he was outside
his body looking in, like his body had a mind of its own, moving and contorting in ways that he
never told it to do. Peace held onto Heero as his body went into seizures.
The soldier continued the onslaught. Peace saw one black sword some down on a white soldiers
shield, breaking it in two. The white soldier tried to run, but the faceless black soldier ran after
him and with a quick and strong movement cut the man in half. His legs fell to the ground a
short distance away from his torso, and the black soldier pulled up his sword and jabbed it into
the white soldiers brain. Blood forever stained the white uniform. The soldier just lay there.
Dead. Forever gone.
After the convulsions stopped Heero cried out in pain. All the self-control in the world could not
save him now, for he was feeling the deaths of everyone in the battle. Arms being torn off, heads
rolling, and sides impaled were all wreaking havoc on Heero''s muscular frame. Heero tried to
hold back, but it was all futile in the mist of hundreds of deaths being felt simultaneously.
All Heero could see, taste, and smell was blood. He felt the pain surging through him like
venom. Heero tried to keep himself from crying, but the tears came unbidden. Peace couldn''t
help but let a tear slide down her cheek. The intensity of the pain would knock someone out, but
here, Heero didn''t have that luxury. Heero bit his tongue and ripped at grass, but nothing would
relieve the pain that was consuming him.
Peaces looked up and saw the black slaughter the white and grey easily, each going down
without much of a fight. Peace held Heero tighter. ""Hold on.""
Heero could see all the death. Even though his eyes were shut tight, his mind was whirling with
images of swords and arrows, the pain and the blood soaking the ground. Heero tried to move,
but his mind had long since lost control and all he could do was scream as the absolute agony
ruled over him. The death and
destruction overwhelmed him as his mind was bombarded with thoughts and apparitions.
Peace''s chest heaved up and down as she sobbed for the poor boy, going through such
excruciating sorrow and pain.
It''s all my fault. I should never have brought him here.
As the battle began to subside, Heero began to get more control of himself. The black basically
annihilated the white and grey when Heero managed to stagger into an upright position. Peace
held out her hand and steadied him as he finally opened his eyes. The storm clouds were right
above them and the rain had just begun to fall. Heero stumbled over towards were his sword was
lying on the ground. He didn''t remembering dropping it, but Peace must have pried it out of his
hands during his convulsions.
He reached down and picked up the sword, his motions becoming smoother every second. The
sharp pains made him fall to his knees every few moments, but Heero didn''t relent. Slowly he
made his way closer to the battlefield. His mind filled with Death and the faces of the butchered
soldiers. Heero let a single tear drop for the departed soldiers who fought so valiantly, but in the
end made no difference. Heero wiped his eyes dry and then headed for the last several soldiers
standing. Heero could feel the numbness taking over the pain and felt strong enough to lift his
sword now.
Peace took a deep breath. She prayed he didn''t go back to his self-destructiveness now. He had
gotten so far.
The soldiers had long since killed all the grey and white soldiers and were now turning on each
other, but did not go anywhere near the commander. He sat high on his horse, observing the
murders and merely laughed. It amused him to see his army kill it self slowly, but surely.
When Heero got a few feet from the commander, the officer finally acknowledged his presence
and snickered. He hopped off his horse and drew his bloodied sword. Heero raised his sword, but
suddenly got a sharp pain in his arm coinciding with someone''s scream. Heero had to lower his
sword for a moment. The commander laughed heartily and mocked Heero.
Peace watched helplessly as the officer backhanded Heero across the face and then kicked Heero
as he fell to the ground. Another scream filled the air and Heero clutched his stomach
protectively. Peace ran out to where Heero was, but knew he was engaged in a battle that she
could not interfere with.
""Stand back by sweet, this is not for you,"" the commander warned cheerily. ""My, my, you are
a catch!""
""Get away from me,"" Peace warned and the commander merely inched closer.
""Get away from her,"" Heero warned.
""No,"" the commander answered and grabbed Peace''s pale face viciously. Peace screamed,
but was muted by the commander''s mouth.
""Get off of her!"" Heero yelled as he charged at the commander with his sword ready to strike.
The commander moved easily to the side but was struck as Heero swerved at the last second. It
was only a graze, but enough to let the commander know that Heero was ready and willing to kill.
""Just the way I like ''em,"" his deep voice growled as the rain really began to pour. Heero
usually didn''t like rain that much, though he wouldn''t let it affect a mission. Heero was now
pleasantly surprised by it, as it washed away the blood from the pervious layer. His clothes were
still stained, but not nearly as red and sticky as before.
The commander grabbed Peace by her hair and kissed her violently again. Heero was becoming
more angered. Peace was so scared. She didn''t know what to do. She tried to struggle, but
against the commander''s strength, all attempts were in vain. Heero lunged at him again, but the
commander dodged, and then placed Peace in front of him as a human shield. Tears were
streaming down Peace''s face as the commander grabbed her mouth and covered it with his
hand. He didn''t want her screaming.
Heero looked into her eyes and saw the same thing as he did when he looked into Relena''s eyes.
She was dead now. Heero tried to cast the thought out of his thoughts but it lingered there, in the
back of his mind. The commander went and stroked her hair so softly. Then grabbed the back of
her head and a large clump of hair.
""You fucking fool, you have no idea what shit you are into,"" the man cracked his voice and
accented each word with a yank on Peace''s dark hair.
""You have no idea who you are messing with,"" Heero uncharacteristically spoke.
""I do though…… I feed off of you everyday,"" the man hoisted Peace up by her hair and then
looked at her eye to eye. He then took his hand and drew it back, into a fist, preparing to make contact.
Heero lunged at the officer just as his fist made contact with Peace. Heero felt the sword plunge
into the man''s side, and then drive its way through till it came out the other side. He had just
run the commander through. Heero was breathing hard as the commander let Peace go and
stumbled backwards a moment. Heero could see the anger flaring in his eyes as he looked at
Heero with a hateful glare. Heero clutched his side. He could feel the sword running him
through. He could feel its piercing every organ, and the blood streaming out.
""You can never be normal again Heero. Why try? What do you expect to gain from this? You
are just running around in circles. You''ll come back to me. You always do. You ALWAYS
do,"" then the officer closed his eyes and exhaled as he fell backwards and hit the ground his a
dead ''thump''.
""Are you okay?"" Peace raced to Heero''s side. It looked like he was about to faint. Heero
could see a black eye starting to form.
""Hn,"" Heero''s monotoned response was enough for Peace. Heero looked her in the eye and
saw the fear that Heero had seen in Relena. The thought was enough to bring fresh wounds to the
surface, and Heero had to fight to control himself. Peaces hugged him apologetically and lead
him to where Relena laid.
Her neck and blouse were covered in blood. The amount of blood someone had in there body
always intrigued Heero. There was always just so much blood. The most eerie thing about seeing
Relena dead was her eyes. They were open and staring back at Heero expectantly. He knew what
she wanted, what she expected, what
she had faith in Heero to do.
He had failed her.
""You couldn''t have done anything Heero,"" Peace assured but Heero merely held the dead
woman in his arms. She loved him so much, and he had failed her.
""I failed her……"" Heero heard himself whisper. The only sound was the rain beating down as
Peace wrapped her bat wings around Heero and Relena and waited for him to be ready to move
on to the next layer.
It seemed like an eternity had passed, and Relena''s body had long since turned cold. Her
unseeing eyes finally laid to rest as Heero closed the eyelids. He had let many a tear slip from his
eyes for his friend, but he refused to give into the temptation of gratifying her with a sob. He
tried to keep his emotions in check, but he found it so difficult to control them.
""Are you ready to move on?"" Peace asked as she gently unfurled her wings. The rain was
pouring and the thunder roared, but Heero didn''t even notice the wetness soaking through his clothes.
""Yes,"" Heero swallowed and laid Relena''s broken and slit neck down. Her death had seemed
so long and drawn out, but Heero knew it couldn''t have been more than a few minutes. One
could only go without oxygen for so long. Heero wished that they had made the cut deeper so
she could have died quicker.
I''m sorry you had to suffer so much.
""What do you think the layer meant?"" Peace sat behind Heero as he stared at the dead body calmly.
""I don''t know, inner turmoil?"" Heero offered coldly.
""Close. What do you think is struggling inside your soul?"" Peace asked as she laid her head
against Heero''s shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist. Heero didn''t move.
""My conscience,"" Heero tried.
""No,"" Peace answered and closed her eyes. She was so tired. Being held as a hostage by the
commander had been a frightening experience.
""My feelings,"" Heero guessed. He didn''t want to think right now. He wished the numbness
that had taken over so long ago would return and encase his heart, and shield it from the hurt,
but Heero knew better. He had broken the wall to his soul, and so his heart was affected. He was
open to all the pain that he had tried to shield himself from.
""Continue,"" Peace rocked slowly side to side. Heero didn''t struggle against it. He almost felt
soothed in the mindless rhythm.
""I guess, the white was very few…… so they were my happiness?"" Heero suggested.
""So close,"" Peace yawned without missing her slow rhythmical swaying to a song that Heero
couldn''t hear.
""Love,"" Heero touched Relena''s face.
""Yes,"" Peace answered and buried her head into Heero''s wet and muscular shoulder. The act
massaged Heero''s aching back and wished that she would continue once she stopped.
""And the grey was slightly more numerous…… so it must represent my fear?"" Heero
struggled, but Peace merely shook her head, again it provided a positive feeling from Heero.
""Close though,"" Peace added while maintaining her soothing swaying. Heero didn''t know
why, but the action had a relaxing effect on him. He wished they could stay like that forever.
Even the rain beating down on his back was soothing. He was done crying now, there were no
more tears left to cry.
His mind was finally at peace.
Suddenly Heero understood everything.
""The grey was my sadness, which outnumbered my happiness, which subsequently caused the
black, my anger. I always resorted to my anger to help me in battle, it''s the best tool, but my
anger ends up tearing me down day after day. No one knew, because I didn''t let the others see
it, but I could feel it killing me inside. I wanted peace, but my anger didn''t want the peace, it
wanted out, it wanted to fight. Anger hates peace. That''s why it killed Relena. Relena was the
peace keeping everyone from killing each other. Once she was dead, the war
began. It hated peace. It wanted me to kill. Kill anything. That''s why it kept fighting even
though the war was over. It killed my love, but it also killed my fear. If I was angry, I could go
out and get myself killed and I wouldn''t care.
""The three emotions were dressed in military uniforms because I was controlling them. I was
well trained in keeping them kept hidden and in control. They were always there when I needed
them in battle, but only in battle. The only time I would ever feel was in battle,"" it was all so
clear to Heero now.
""Good,"" Peace whispered softly. Heero paused for a moment, resisting Peace''s swaying
motion, ""Its okay, we can stay here for a while if you like."" Heero relaxed and finally got the
rest he had needed since the first layer.
Heero was finally at peace. He finally didn''t hear the screams that echoes through the forest. He
finally didn''t hear Relena''s voice in the back of his head. He was finally didn''t feel the pain
that aching in his soul. A pain that
he had felt for so long, he forgot he was feeling it. He was finally at peace.
After about an hour or so, Heero took a deep breath and stood up. Peace had fallen asleep and
was quickly awakened. Heero looked to her and held out his hand. She accepted gratefully. The
rain was still in full downpour, but Heero didn''t mind. He was at peace now. No more
struggling emotions. He wanted to stay,
but he knew his task ahead.
~End Part 7B -- Emotional Battleground~
Author''s Tidbits: Okay, that was short, but I could only get one layer in. The other layer was
another eight pages and it wasn''t finished. Sorry. Again thanks to Tiff! My computer is really
screwing up now, so Pyro George and I are going to go sleep now. Okay? See ya people! Thank
you Steph and Tiff! And everyone else for their constant support and bugging me to keep
writing! ^_^ If it weren''t for Tiff I would still be on chapter two I swear! So e-mail me and bug
me to write more!!! ^_^;;;