Title: Two Worlds

Author: Lyndaura

Authors Notes: Last Heero torture part I swear. ~_^ You''re going to love the ending to this one!
Special Mention: Dark Ruby and Laura are two people who e-mailed me with great comments on one of my other fan fics, thanks you guys! And to the rest of the gang: Steph, Kayley, Torin, Tiff, and Lena. Heehee…… you guys rule! If I forgot anybody, e-mail me and I''ll remember to put extra special mention in for you next time! ^_^

~Two Worlds -- Part 7~ Diving into the Abyss -- Part E
Love's Peace

And fired.

Everything stood still for a moment as Heero felt the bullet rip out of the gun and the gun seemed to explode with power as it kicked back and the rain pounded down on him. The screaming that had tormented him for so long now, was finally silenced for a split second. Everything was just so still as Heero waited. The anticipation was driving Heero insane.

Then Heero heard a scream.

Peace.

Heero''s eyes shot open in time to see Peace fall to the ground, her face painted with sheer agony. The small hole in the stomach of her dress was seeping crimson liquid, her eyes were rimming with tears, threatening to overflow. Her voice was dripping with pain as if Heero could hear the blood pouring out.

He ran to her.

""You idiot,"" She breathed a laboured breath.

""Why did you do that?"" Heero cradled her head in his arms.

""What good would you dying achieve Heero? You are alive. Many don''t have that luxury, it is up to you to live your life to the best you can, if not for yourself, than for those who can''t. Heero, they may be dead, but you are not. Heero you killed many, yes, but don''t die from your mistakes, learn from them,"" Katara tried not to let the tears fall, but the pain was overcoming her as each word brought more of the sensation tearing through her.

""But look at them, I killed them all! It''s all my fault! I deserve to die!"" Heero pointed at his friends and the soldiers.

""It''s not your fault Heero,"" Peace took a sharp breath and squeezed out a few more tears out in pain.

""It is! They said so! I even killed RELENA!"" Heero pointed to Relena.

""Relena? You know that it wasn''t your fault. Do you not remember? Relena followed YOU around and endangered YOUR missions. She knew what she was doing and she chose to be around you, you didn''t kill her, she did it herself,"" Peace gulped down another wave of pain. Heero looked at her wound and took off his shirt. He ripped it and then wrapped it around her, and started applying pressure. Heero carefully put the gun down beside him, not letting it far from his side.

""But I knew, I should have told her!"" Heero shot back.

""Come on Heero, she''s growing and is maturing. She isn''t a baby and she knew too. She just ignored it. You are not responsible for her actions. She kissed you Heero, you never asked for it, she just kissed you,"" Peace grabbed Heero''s hand and clenched it as hard as she could. The pressure was only causing more pain. Slowly Relena faded back into the darkness and out of sight.

""But what about Duo?"" Heero wiped away some rain from his face.

""Duo? Come on, same deal, he tried to steal YOUR Gundam, he tried to shoot YOU twice. You never asked for his help, but he gave it anyway, because he wanted to be your friend. He made the choice, not you. He was intruding on you, Heero, you never asked to be his friend."" Duo crept back into the shadows as Heero tried to control his battling emotions. A single voice echoed through Heero again, now Heero was the one in pain.

""But Trowa…… There was a knife there!"" Heero wasn''t aware that he was applying more pressure to Peace, causing more pain to surge through her. She tried her best to hold on and just get Heero through this one thing.

""Trowa was going to die anyway Heero. He was heading toward death long before you came along. The only difference was that you brought him life a little longer and that you brought more happiness. You kept him going by giving him someone to look to as an example. Trowa needed leadership and you were able to give him that. You helped him more than killed him Heero,"" Peace held her breath trying to stand the pain as Heero gnashed his teeth in protest, but slowly Trowa faded away. But even as Trowa faded away, Heero still felt the aching hurt inside that was driving him over the edge. He didn''t know how much longer he could hold on.

""Quatre died because of me though, he wasn''t heading toward death until he met me!"" Heero retorted. The pain that was building up inside screamed out at Heero and wouldn''t let him stop accusing himself of their deaths. There was no escape for Heero. He was hounding himself into admission of guilt.

""Quatre wanted to be around you Heero. He relied on you and he was the one to bring all the Gundam Pilots together. You never asked for his help, he just offered it. He entered your life, you never tired to be in his life, it just happened,"" Peace finally was relieved when Heero lighten his grip on her stomach. But she could see the blood seeping through. Slowly Quatre melted back into nothingness.

""I should''ve told Wufei……"" Heero closed his eyes. The lump in his throat made every word torture as Heero''s stomach cramped up into a knot. Heero ached all over not able to control his erratic breathing and heartbeat. Everything was his fault.

""You tried your best Heero. You were only good for Wufei. You challenged him and made him do better, when he tried to become as good as you……"" Peace gasped a sharp breath as the pain crept up into her lungs. Everything was on fire and her sight was starting to blur, but she continued. She needed Heero to get through this, if not for him, then for her, ""……he improved himself and it made him better. Heero, you helped him, he got himself killed,"" Peace could feel her consciousness slipping as her words became longer and slurred. ""Wufei''s own pride and sense of justice killed him, you aren''t responsible for those things.""

Wufei whispered away into the void.

But even as Peace tried to ease Heero''s pain despite her own, the sorrow and pain that was coursing through Heero stilled raged on, denying Heero any relief. ""But all those people…… all that pain. I killed so many. I don''t deserve to live,"" Heero breathed out in surrender to the fact.

""You don''t deserve to live Heero. But then again, no one does, do they? We have all done wrong and made mistakes, but the wonderful thing about life, is that it isn''t fair. People get second, and third, and sometimes a thousands more chances. You have another chance, why waste this one again Heero?"" Peace placed her own hand over Heero''s hand that was applying the pressure, and used her other hand to hold Heero''s cheek.

""But all those deaths, they were all my fault!"" Heero pulled his face away from her. Heero was hurting too bad to let anyone be around him. He had hurt so many, death followed him around and he didn''t want to inflict that curse on the one person that actually understood him and was trying to help him. She was too precious to him to hurt.

""Do you think that those people just woke up one day and got into a mobile suit? They were trained professionals. They knew the risks, they were fighting for something that they believed in and they were willing to give their lives, and they did. The fact that they died was no more your fault than theirs. It was war. If they weren''t willing to die, then they shouldn''t have been fighting!"" Peace explained in a hoarse whisper. Her lungs felt like they were on fire, and her stomach shot pains through her body every time she spoke. The blood began pouring through the shirt onto Heero''s hand. Heero looked down at the blood.

""No! No! No! I did it! I killed them! It was all my fault! If it weren''t for me they would be alive!"" Heero shouted back looking down at his blood-soaked hand.

""Heero, if it weren''t for you, the Earth would be gone now. They were soldiers, and so they sacrificed their lives for something that they believed in. They were willing to die Heero. They would have preferred to die than not to fight. They died doing what they wanted to do Heero, and their families know that. If people are grieving the loss of their friends and family, then they should be blaming it on the soldiers for going to war in the first place. Heero, it wasn''t your fault, and no one blames you. You did what you were trained to do. You are the only one blaming yourself,"" Peace tensed every muscle in her body as the pressure on her wound was causing excruciating pain.

Gradually all the soldiers and their families drifted off out of view.

""But Noventa and his family! He was a pacifist! I killed someone who was fighting for the same thing as me! I made a mistake that cost people their lives, and made the war even worse! I made a mistake! I''m the Perfect Soldier! I''m not allowed to make mistakes! I made a mistake, just like when I killed that damned girl and her dog! It''s my fault! They weren''t supposed to die! They weren''t risking their lives! They were innocent!"" Heero slammed his fist into the ground. There was a silence as Peace tried to speak, but was struggling too much. Heero could only hear the throbbing in his ears and the pounding of the rain.

Then he heard the screaming. Over and over again, he could hear himself screaming in anguish. It perfectly described what he was feeling inside as everything he had ever done had come crashing back on him. The scars inside being ripped apart, and new wounds being ripped open. Everything inside just ached, as he wanted to cry, scream, vomit, and hurt himself all at the same time. He was getting desperate to rid himself of the sorrow inside. It was like nothing he had ever felt. He had been taught how to handle most kinds of pain, but he was never prepared for this kind of consuming, devouring and overtaking pain. It was driving him insane, as he didn''t want to go on, he realized everything he had ever done wrong, and he just wanted everything to stop.

I deserve to die. I''m such a bastard! Why did I do all this? All I cause is pain and destruction. I carry Death on my shoulder everywhere I go. The world would be better off without me. I am no use alive. I can''t hurt Peace anymore. How could she be so caring when I am killing her? How could she be so merciful when I am filled with so much cruelty? Why won''t my heart just stop beating? I don''t want to hurt anyone anymore. JUST MAKE THIS STOP!

""Heero,"" Peace finally whispered out, trying to hold onto consciousness.

""Peace, hang on,"" Heero tried to swallow away his doubt, but his heart was being torn apart inside along with his sanity. But he needed to focus in Peace…… she didn''t deserve to die. He had shot her. He had shot the only person who mattered to him anymore. It was true…… he did hurt everyone.

""You''re……"" Peace had to take another breath and squeeze her eyes shut until the pain dulled enough to say another word.

""Quiet,"" Heero ordered softly.

""You''re only……"" Peace gritted her teeth.

""Don''t speak,"" Heero tried to focus on her but the screaming and the rain were distracting him. The aching inside was tearing him apart every second. It was worsening by the moment, and Heero didn''t know how long he could take

""You''re only human,"" she looked at him sincerely.

The fact hit Heero like he had never heard it before. It was like he knew it but never believed it. The words carried the meaning that he had never found in them before. It was all right. He was okay, and it was okay that he had made a mistake. Like Peace had said, he needed to learn from his mistakes, not die for them.

Heero felt the truth sink in and he finally felt at peace. The aching inside was soothed away and he felt relieved. He felt an incredible burden lifted from him. It was strange that he was able to carry around such a heavy weight and not even know it. Heero looked into Peace''s eyes and saw what he was looking for.

Tears.

She was crying. She had been waiting to tell him that all this time. That he was human. She had wanted to tell him at the cold wall. She had cried for him when he was drowning in his own blood. She had tried to show him when his emotions were battling, and when Relena died. She probably had been crying through his entire journey through the garden. She had attempted to comfort him when he was falling, and she had stepped in front of the bullet for him.

Slowly, Heero''s double turned into ashes and stood solid. Heero looked at the statue for a moment and Peace turned his head towards her. She pointed tiredly at the gun nearby. Heero took it and looked at it oddly. He knew he had to make a decision.

He threw the gun at the statue.

The ashes cracked and splattered then were swept away in the wind.

Peace smiled weakly at Heero and tried to show how happy and proud she was in her eyes, but they were dulling and she knew that she would be swept away soon. Heero could feel everything start to crumble around him as Peace drew his mouth closer to hers. It hurt her to move her next, but she tilted her head as far as it would go and pressed her lips against Heero''s.

Heero didn''t know what to do. He did care for her…… they were in an unbreakable bond now. She knew his deepest darkest thoughts and secrets. She knew the real him, how he was not as strong as he pretended to be, and how he was not as cut off from everyone else, and how everyday was a struggle for him. She had helped him more than he could help himself, and he owed her everything for that.

So Heero pressed closer to her, soaking his chest in her lifeblood. The sensation was amazing as he felt himself melt into her, as they became one body. Peace pushed as hard as she could against Heero, but she was too weak to hang on any longer. Heero tried to support her head with his hand, but he felt her slowly slip away as the life drained out of her.

The rain finally stopped as the last tear was shed by Peace. Heero held her tight in his arms. She couldn''t be dead. It wasn''t happening. She had to still be breathing…… her heart still had to beat. She couldn''t leave him. Not now……

Heero felt everything slowly fade away into darkness and anything around him ripped from him. Peace was torn from his arms and nothingness surrounded him. The void was all too familiar and he wished that it would just end. He didn''t want to go on if Peace wasn''t there. Heero didn''t know how long he could go on. Heero tried to conjure up the stamina to continue on his way, but the strength eluded him as he was sucked away to the unknown.

Heero tried to grasp anything tangible but even the air seemed to escape him. Heero reached out in a desperate attempt for anything. Light, pain, happiness, hope, anything that would remind him of what something felt like. Something to remind him that there was more. But the darkness consumed him and invaded him, leaving nothing for him.

After what seemed like an eternity softness enveloped him. Heero clung to the touch not knowing what else to do. Anything was better than the coldness of the dark. He pressed into the warmth and felt something solidify under his feet.

When Heero finally opened his eyes he saw whiteness all around him. Heero tried to remember the softness…… the colour…… the silky texture that he had sensed once before……

Feathers.

Heero turned to see whose chest he was leaning against and saw a beautiful glowing angel. Her skin was soft and her eyes shone with love and compassion. Heero could feel her presence all around him, her gentleness, her gracefulness and her safety. But through that Heero could feel her strength and power, yet she chose to be meek.

Heero saw something in her eyes that made him stop though. She was a perfectly identical to Katara, save for the attire and feathered wings, but Heero could see something else there. It reminded him so much of something else……

He carefully got up and out of her protective shield to find himself in a black room. It was circular but its size was practically indeterminable due to the lack of light. The only thing that Heero could make out was a shinning white ball of luminance in the centre of the room. It hovered a foot of the ground and was about the size of Heero. It was warm and welcoming as Heero was drawn to it instinctively.

""What is that?"" Heero turned to the angel, flying just above the ground, her large wings beating softly and fluently with power and grace.

""Knowledge,"" the angel answered, ""Knowledge is power, and that it a knowledge that you could never dream about. It is everything you can know, and yet so much more. It is the power that you long for, and the power that you have been seeking all your life.""

Heero was silent as he drifted towards it. He didn''t know what drew him to it, but it seemed so amazing and wonderful. For once, Heero didn''t feel cautious or unsafe. He just approached it with ease and curiosity.

""Are you sure that you want it?"" the woman asked softly.

""Is there a reason why I shouldn''t?"" Heero asked back not knowing what the woman was getting to.

""With knowledge comes responsibility and hardship. Right now, you are a carefree child compared to what you are about to experience. You will have the power to destroy, and the power to create. You will have the knowledge of everything you have experienced, but more. You will have the wisdom to solve many problems, but you will gain an intensity that will cloud your judgement. You will have everything you have now, only more intense and more concentrated. You will also have the knowledge of your true love. The one that you are completely devoted to. The one person that you are destined to be with. Your absolute true love. That contains all the potential that you ever had Heero. Are you ready for that? Are you ready for the life that it will give you?""

Heero looked to it and thought about the woman''s words carefully. He didn''t want to make a mistake that he would regret for the rest of his life. He hadn''t been a good person so far, and he didn''t know what he would do with such a power now. He hoped that everything he had been through would change him to be better. He didn''t like himself now that he saw it through untainted eyes. He wanted to do the right thing for once in his life, and he was torn. He needed to make a decision, and he needed to make it soon. He could feel something coming.

The thought of Peace flashed through his mind. She had helped him up to the last layer just for this. It wouldn''t be right if her efforts were in vain.

""Mission……"" Heero whispered, ""accepted,"" he spoke as he walked to the ball of light and was suddenly hesitant in what to do. Heero experimentally put his hand into the ball and the feeling was exquisite. The sensations filled him and pulled him into the ball.

Once inside, there was nothing but an overload of all his senses. Everything felt like it was in fire and every sense was so alert. The calmness that sweeped over him was that like he had never experienced before. The ambient peace consumed and intoxicated him. The knowledge that came like a flood to him was overwhelming as he suddenly understood things that he had never understood, and saw things in his actions that he never saw before. He knew every aspect of himself, and now he knew every action, thought and intention of all his friends. The little reactions and the subtle hints were now not lost on Heero as he remembered everything that had ever happened to him. His memories flashed around him and Heero realized just how complicated the human mind was, and just how vulnerable he was though he tried not to see it, and pretend that he wasn''t human. He knew now that it was time to stand up and face the fact.

Then it came to him. He knew who his true love was. Heero wanted to hit himself for not seeing it before. It wasn''t a person; it was a concept…… his true love was……

……peace.

The whole idea and concept behind it was what he loved. He had worked his whole life towards it, and although he had been trained as the Perfect Soldier, all his work and efforts went towards peace. He spared Relena, and God-forbid was slightly attracted to her because she stood for peace. He allowed the others into his soul because they were like him. They were all fighting for peace.

Heero stepped out of the sphere a moment later and looked around. Everything was so crystal clear and different some how. It was like he had been living in 2-D and now everything had a new dimension. He could tell the exact angle, shade and texture of something without even looking at it. He was so alert and aware of everything now. He turned to the woman and suddenly the truth washed over him. She just hovered slightly over the ground watching him carefully.

It was like he knew precisely what she was thinking and feeling. He knew every detail of her face. Every hue, every tint, every shade of her eyes, a million different pigments each blending into the other creating an outstanding effect of beauty and complexity. Heero could see every pore on her face; every strand of hair was an individual now. Heero didn''t even have to look at her to know the truth now. The power that flowed through his veins heightened everything to a point where everything seemed to slow down so he could process all the information.

""You now have the power to leave,"" the woman spoke softly, but Heero knew what she was going to say before she even formed the words.

""I know that,"" Heero whispered but it shot clearly through the room.

""Goodbye Heero,"" the woman lowered her head and prayed that he would leave soon.

Heero summoned up his power and focused it. He looked to the woman as his surroundings began to fade away and he felt so much better now that it was over. It was all over. He had gone through his soul and he had made it. He had a sense of completion and pride in what he had done. He now had a power that he never knew he had, and he just wanted to get out and save the world.

Heero looked to the fading woman and saw the beauty radiating off of her. He felt so drawn to her, but he knew that they would meet again. Heero''s next words startled the woman as she stared at him leaving in surprise, ""Goodbye Emily.""

~End Part 7E -- Love's Peace~

Author''s Tidbits: Well Torin, I hope you''re happy. When you said ''LOTS of Heero torture'' I took that seriously. VERY seriously. ^_^ That was weird. I don''t know, I''m sick and I''m tired and I''m high off of paint fumes. Its over, its over, its really, really over! Time to Celebrate! Well, contest time! Whoever can tell me the intended metaphorical meanings of the following things gets a special prize! (No, not money) And if no one can get them all correct, then the person with the MOST correct answers gets a prize. Quickly! E-mail me ! The contest won''t last long!

1. The Darkness in the second last layer.
2. The double in the second last layer.
3. Relena, Duo, Trowa, Quatre and Wufei.
4. The Soldiers.
5. The whole Noventa tings (his family, him (even though you never saw him) and the little girl and all that stuff).
6. The Gun.
7. What the second last layer stood for.
8. Darkness of Last Layer.
9. The Glowing Ball.
10. Emily (why she looked like an angel).

Well, good luck! Hope you guys have fun guessing!!! ^_^ I can''t wait to write the next layer, I am so happy to be out of Heero torture, I hope you are too! I know that the last layer really sucked, but I just wanted to get him out of there, you know? He deserves a break.

Heero: You just figured that out?
Lyndaura: Oh, I wouldn''t talk too soon. I''m not done with you yet!
Heero: Oh shit.
Lyndaura: Well, bye byes to you all! Have a safe week! ^_^

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