Chapter 4:

I was sent home in a few days after I was found wandering the streets aimlessly and insane to recover, but I never did. My mind is in the infinate state of fear. That is why I can discribe it so well, I live in it. My room shelters me, my heart is sheltered. Fear grips me everytime I see a dark room. Fear, everytime I look at a shadow. One would wonder if this was a way to live. The truth be told, I wasn`t alive.

I was most likely being dug up from a field, beaten and strangled. Decayed for years maybe. But that couldn`t be. I was the girl sitting in the chair, skinny fingers typing as her parents begged her to forget the horror as she wastes away to nothing. But I can`t, it`s here, it`s real, it not real, I don`t know what it is!

It`s in a faces of the innocent when their innocence is taken. It`s in the eyes of a person in front of a firing squad. It`s in the heart of the person who never frowns. It`s in the air of the battlegrounds of war. It`s in the eyes of a person driving the wrong way on a one way street. It`s in the eyes of the person who is pregnant and addicted. It`s in the eyes of a girl realizing she is to die because of a starvation. It`s everywhere.

No one has a reason to fear they say. No one has a reason to cry they say. A human mind can take every strain and pressure they say. The only reason to fear is tangible horror. Mine was a daydream, the shaking in my limbs is a daydream. The fear in my eyes is a daydream. It was so real I could touch it, and so real I could relive it a thousand times, and so real I could fight it. So real, that I ran away from it only to be found, deleriouse and afraid, by a kind man named Jake.

It hits you once on an unsuspecting day, in an unsuspecting way. It hits you once and only once, because that is all it has to hit you. It hits you once and you live it forever. It may stay baried, mull around in you until the right time or the right daydream comes along. Years of terror can be concealed until you think about it just once, than it`s over, it`s all over. The fear is so untangible, so unreal, so unbelieveable, that it becomes real, and it consumes you.