The Suicide Goddess

By: Akkiko

I sat at the gate and trembled in my fear.

Would the demon shed for me a tear?

I took steps that were uncertain,

Right into the temple curtain.

It swung open and I saw him inside.

His face was one to make me hide.

He snorted in contempt,

He was in the presence of one exempt.

"What is it of me you ask?

Why do you dare look upon me when I have no mask?

Why have you come from earths peace?

Is it of life you wish release?"

I stood tall,

For in evil I was in awe.

Would he for me mourn?

Would his heart hold only scorn?

"I wish release from my life.

It is full of pain and strife.

I have nothing left.

The thieves devouring me are deft."

"They have stolen so much from me.

They have gone so far to take my family!

My innocence as well has been taken.

Feelings are stiring I did not wish to waken."

He glared at me through eyes hooded.

"Go to a place that is well wooded.

Die in the field and cry forever.

But your request, never."

I cried and screamed.

I shouted about how every night of death I dreamed.

I said of how my mask was breaking.

I said how my family apart was pulling.

I looked up at him one last time.

I heard his tear on the cold floor chime.

"Go and try." he said.

"Try to find peace in your bed."

"If a mortal can make me cry,

why not to fulfill this request try?

But I can`t.

The voices once again chant."

"Let her live now and forever.

She will wake up sooner or later.

From her slumber she will cry,

'I wanted to life say goodbye'."

I slumped into the earth.

I looked at a burning hearth.

I was destined to saddness.

Although, I have commited no baddness.

Hands soft and worn,

Tried to lift off my scorn.

"Be happy little one.

Once again greet the mourning sun."

Fairies lay in my room.

"Play with us again, just like you used to."

They looked at my small form.

"Why has your heart filled with scorn?"

I screamed and cried.

"I wish he would have tried!"

I cried and kicked.

"I would have his very floor licked!"

The animals gathered round.

"Where is the happiness that used to abound?"

The plants hung over my sobbing form.

"Why are you so forlorn?"

The sun peeked over the valley.

I crawled to an ally.

The sun frowned.

"Come into my rays until your skin is browned."

I wept some more.

I fell upon the floor.

"Go away!

Let me in my bed of thorns lay!"

A small rabbit hobbled over.

"Our field is empty from clover.

We need your laugh again.

The earth is crying again."

I looked at the tiny thing.

"Why from me would you need a thing?"

It giggled with glee.

I knew the glee was not because of me.

"You were so happy at one time.

You had a happiness devine.

You used to shout with glee.

You used to love me."

I cried even more as the earth writhed in pain.

"All this saddness has from me energy drained."

I sat up and loked at the black soil.

My hands shook and my mind began to toil.

"I must love again,

I must be happy again.

I will smile,

If only once in a while!"

Trees grew.

The earth looked as good as new.

"One ray of hope was all we needed.

Why for death have you pleaded?"

I looked at the sky.

"I don`t know why.

I felt defiled,

I felt vile."

They all smiled at me.

"No, as long as the birds chirp and sing,

as long as the butterfly can flap a wing,

as long as that happiness you know,

the earth will always glow."