GypsieRose - Debbie Does The Two Towers 15

Debbie the Black stood beside a beautiful pool at the base of a waterfall. The rushing water sparkled in the moonlight, making the scene look truly idyllic. Over one shoulder she carried Frodo's jacket and pack, which had been left behind at the campsite.

Debbie had instantly guessed where the hobbits and Sméagol had gone after she found the site deserted, and she had set out in pursuit directly after eating Sam's rabbit stew. "No sense in letting it go to waste," she had thought, knowing that her friends were in no immediate danger. "Kind of a shame I missed the Rangers of Ithilien, though. I'll bet they were cute."

Fortunately she had learned some basic tracking skills from Aragorn on her first visit to Middle-Earth (there had been some...interesting games of Hide and Seek in the woods by Amon Hen), and she was able to put them to good use. Her feet were rather sore from all the walking, though. She dipped a toe experimentally into the moonlit pool. It felt wonderfully cool to her touch.

"Oh well, I guess the others will be okay for a little while longer," she said to herself as she put down her burdens and stripped off her clothing. She walked back to the edge of the pool, wearing nothing but a curtain of chestnut hair, and prepared to wade in.

Suddenly Debbie felt an arm wrap tightly around her neck from behind and a knife point pressing lightly against her kidney. A low, smooth male voice murmured in her ear, "To enter the Forbidden Pool bears the penalty of death."

Debbie remained calm. "Captain Faramir, I presume?"

There was a short pause. "Er--yes."

"I just have one question for you: What color is your hair?"

Another, longer pause. "I beg your pardon?"

"Is it black?"

"Er--no."

"Oh, movie version. Right."

Debbie suddenly grabbed the man's arm and twisted in his grasp. There was a brief scuffle, a shrill cry of "Hikeeba!" and a loud splash. A second later, Debbie was standing over the very surprised-looking Captain of Gondor, who lay flat on his back in the shallow water, and pointing the knife at his throat. She looked him over and grinned. "What's this? A Ranger caught off his guard?"

"Who...who are you?" he stammered, his eyes narrowing.

"I'm here for the hobbits."

"Hobbits?"

"You know. Two guys about so high. And a little creepy thing."

"Oh, the orc spies."

Debbie sighed an exasperated sigh. "They're not orc spies."

"Well, I'm assuming they're orc spies until they tell me something. Two of them keep asking for someone named 'Debbie' and the third just keeps raving about 'the Precious.'"

Debbie noticed that the Captain's eyes were straying lower than her face. Keeping the knife pointed at his throat, she grabbed the Ring with her other hand and held it out at him.

"See this?" she said. "It's the One Ring, and I'm planning on throwing it into Mount Doom. It's big, bad, and evil if anyone except me carries it, or that's what they tell me anyway. You can't do anything useful with it, it attracts nazgul, and it doesn't even make good jewelry. Got that?"

Faramir blinked. "You have a Ring? I didn't notice."

"Oh," said Debbie with a pleased expression. "Anyway, you don't want it, do you?"

"Certainly not. Why would I want a thing like that?" He cocked an eyebrow. "I can see much more...attractive things right in front of me."

Debbie grinned. "Good boy." She lowered the knife and held out her hand to help him up.

"Thank you." Faramir began wringing water out of his sodden cloak. "Do you suppose you could teach me that move you just used?"

"That and a whole lot more," Debbie replied with a wink. "That was just a basic judo flip. I'm surprised you fell for it. I thought Rangers were supposed to have quick reflexes and stuff!"

Faramir looked hurt. "Well, I'm sorry! It's been a bad week, with my father yelling at me and my brother dying and all...."

"You mean Boromir? He's fine."

Faramir shook his head sadly. "I saw him floating down the river, lying in a boat."

"Well," said Debbie reasonably, "did you check to see if he was still breathing?"

"Er--no."

Debbie rolled her eyes. "And I thought you were supposed to be the *smart* one. Look, I was with him at Amon Hen and I can personally testify that he got out without a scratch." Her face grew dreamy at the memory. "Well, maybe a few scratches to his back from my nails, but I'm sure they healed up just fine. Anyway, he was probably just having a nap."

Faramir's face brightened immeasurably. "Truly? That is wonderful news indeed! Thank you so much, Lady...?"

"Debbie."

His mouth fell open. "*You* are the one the hobbits have been speaking of? I can see now that they must be telling the truth. You are far too beautiful and good to be an orc spy."

"So you'll let us go? Me and the others? You won't drag us off to Osgiliath or anything like that?"

"No, no, of course not. But let me invite you to be my guests for tonight. My men and I will see that you have food and shelter and anything else you require."

Debbie stepped closer. "Well, what I require just now is a bath. And someone to...wash my back." She reached up and twisted one of his red-gold curls around her finger.

The captain smiled and bowed slightly. "Just excuse me for a moment, and then I will be at your service."

He turned and ran easily up the cliff stair to the overhead path. Debbie heard him calling into the cave: "Men! You can let the orc spies out of the wine cellar. And anyone who so much as *looks* at the Forbidden Pool tonight is under penalty of death, do you hear me?"

A moment later he was back at Debbie's side, beginning to unbuckle his leather breastplate. "The water's lovely this time of year," he said with a mischievous grin.

*******

The sun was well over the horizon when Faramir led Debbie, now dressed in her black silk teddy, up the cliff stair into the cave of Henneth Annun. If any of the Rangers noticed that both their captain and the new arrival had damp hair and slightly wrinkled fingers, they were far too polite to say anything.

As Debbie stepped through the entrance, three small figures ran toward her with cries of gladness. She dropped down on one knee to embrace Frodo and Sam, and gave a warm smile to Gollum. However, he turned his back on her in a fit of pique.

"What's with him?" she whispered to Frodo as she stood up.

Frodo shrugged. "I don't know, Lady Debbie. He seemed fine until you walked in just now."

Faramir, who had been conferring with some of his men, now returned with three Rangers in tow. "Alas, Lady Debbie, I must see to some camp business now," he said regretfully, kissing her hand. "But I will come and see you off when you leave. In the meantime--" He indicated the three men behind him. "These are Mablung, Damrod, and Anborn, three of my best men. Would you be so good as to teach them that move you taught me earlier?"

Debbie grinned. "You mean the--?" She made a complicated gesture.

Faramir turned pink. "I meant the judo flip."

"Oh, *that*! Sure." Suddenly Debbie's brow furrowed. "Wait a minute...aren't you guys book-only?" She looked in puzzlement from the three dark-haired Gondorians to their strawberry-blond captain. All four men gave her blank looks, and she shrugged. "Oh well, never mind! Follow me, boys."

"What was that other move you mentioned?" asked Damrod as the Rangers and Debbie made their way to a secluded portion of the cave hideout.

"I'll show you that too, if we have time. Although it really works better in water..."

Frodo, Sam, and Gollum watched Debbie retreat. "She's an amazin' woman, Miss Debbie," remarked Sam.

"She is indeed," Frodo agreed fervently.

"Preciousssss...Preciousss tricks us. Goes off alone with all the menses...leaves us behind," muttered Gollum sulkily.

GO TO Chapter Sixteen

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