GypsieRose - Debbie Does The Two Towers 6

A clear dawn was breaking over the grasslands of Rohan. Birds were twittering madly and somewhere far off, you could almost hear a flute playing "Morning" from the Peer Gynt Suite. It was that kind of day.

A lone figure in a white robe strode across the hills, leaning on a white staff and occasionally cursing under his breath when he stubbed his toe on a rock. Eventually he sat down on a convenient tree stump and looked wearily across the vista spread below him. He reached into his pocket for his pipe, then remembered he no longer had it since he got the new clothes. He tried chewing on a piece of grass instead, but found it unsatisfying and soon spat it out.

Gandalf sighed, gazing out toward Fangorn forest, the edge of which could just be seen in the distance. He knew he could not rejoin his companions until he had an explanation for the bizarre events of a few days ago, but so far his best efforts has proved fruitless.

Just then his ancient eyes, still keen, spotted something he did not quite expect. A woman in red, with flowing chestnut hair, strode hand-in-hand into the woods with two smaller folk who were unmistakably hobbits.

Gandalf stood and squinted. "It cannot be!" he mused, amazed. "This bears investigating, I think!" He strode puposefully toward the forest, white robes billowing in the breeze. Hardly sparing a glance at the gigantic pile of ash in the clearing, he made straight for the spot where he had seen the three figures disappear among the trees.

Though he moved as quickly as he could, they were nowhere to be seen by this time. As the wizard stepped into the shade, he felt a familiar tingling sensation come over him, and he looked up in surprised recognition. "Ah yes, Fangorn," he muttered to himself with a fond smile. "Wonder how old Treebeard's doing...." Deciding that one direction was as good as any other, he struck out at random.

Gandalf listened carefully as he crept about the forest. He heard birds; he heard the voices of the ancient trees, calling to each other; he heard snoring.

Snoring?! The wizard quickened his pace, heading directly for a close copse of young saplings from behind which the offending noise was emanating. He parted the trees and gazed beyond, shaking his head in a double-take when he got a good glimpse of the glade.

In the midst of the glade, tangled amongst the long grasses--and each other--were a Man, an Elf, a Dwarf, and...the Lady Debbie. Dressed, or half-dressed at least, in white. Gandalf cleared his throat loudly as he strode forward.

The Elf stirred a bit, blinking away the trance he'd been in. "Er...the white wizard approaches?"

"Legolas, your elf eyes need some assistance," the Man moaned as he rolled over, crushing the tender grasses beneath his weight. "That's the second time today that...oh."

"If that's Saruman, tell him to get in line," mumbled Gimli sleepily, tightening his arm around Debbie's waist.

Debbie yelped daintily. "Gimli, I can't breathe!" She opened her eyes and found herself looking straight up at Gandalf. "Well, hello there," she purred with a ravishing smile. "I didn't think I'd be seeing that staff again soon...."

Gandalf coughed, trying not to look pleased. "Where did you leave the hobbits?" he asked, frowning at Debbie from beneath his bushy eyebrows. "And, er, what happened to your red...garment?"

She blinked innocently. "Hobbits? What hobbits? And I am Debbie the White." She wrinkled her perfect little turned-up nose. "Red is such a slutty color."

"I rather liked it," murmured Gandalf.

"Gandalf," Aragorn asked, grabbing Legolas to cover his shameful nakedness. "Where have you been?"

"I might ask you three the same question," the wizard responded defensively.

"We were following the hobbits' trail. They ran off, you know. First Frodo and Sam, and then Merry and Pippin behind them," Gimli responded in the Ranger's stead.

"Fine job of keeping the Fellowship together, Aragorn," Gandalf chided.

The future King of Men tried to bury his face in Legolas' hair, but the Elf Prince tossed his head indignantly. "Will you *please* stop using me as an elven shield?" he huffed. "People will start to talk."

"People already do," said Gimli.

Legolas retrieved Aragorn's coat from the ground and threw it at him, none too gently. He then busied himself at replacing his own clothing.

"Anyhow," Gandalf continued, pressing on, "I followed Debbie--dressed in red, mind you--and two of the hobbits into this forest. And then I came upon you all." His eyes narrowed. "And you were doing...?"

"Just doing what comes naturally," Debbie chirped, with a dazzling smile.

"Fangorn Forest, you know," Legolas added by way of explanation.

"At least we know the hobbits are in safe hands," Aragorn said, wrapping his coat awkwardly around his waist as he searched for his trousers. "Could you tell which of the hobbits you saw?" he continued as he pulled one of his boots out from under Gimli.

"It appeared to be Meriadoc and Peregrine," Gandalf answered.

Debbie continued to smile blissfully. "Well, that settles it--I haven't seen them since I got here. They must be with one of the others."

"Others?" Gandalf raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, others. Something happened when you sent me back, Gandalf. I didn't feel--whole, somehow. I remember getting this underwear job, and as I tried stuff on, it felt like I was peeling away or something. And then, suddenly, I found myself back here, amongst all of you."

"You never mentioned this before, Lady Debbie," Aragorn stated as he pulled his trousers down from a low-hanging tree branch.

"It just occured to me," Debbie responded. "Besides, we were kinda busy before, weren't we?"

The Ranger blushed deeply beneath his stubble.

Legolas, already fully clothed and looking crisp as ever, was now French-braiding his flaxen hair with nimble fingers. "Speaking of being busy," he said casually with a sidelong glance at the wizard, "Just what were you up to all this time, Gandalf?"

Gandalf coughed and found that all eyes were fixed on him, including Gimli's. "I...that's not important."

"Not important?" cried Aragorn indignantly. "We thought you were in danger!"

"You didn't exactly run off looking for me, did you?" Gandalf accused.

"Er...no." The Ranger stared at the ground.

"That's beside the point," Legolas insisted. "Where *were* you?"

Now it was Gandalf's turn to look at the ground. "I...er...remembered some pressing business in Rohan."

"So pressing that you couldn't even say goodbye to us?" growled Gimli. He clambered to his feet, clutching his unbelted trousers to keep them from falling around his ankles.

Debbie the White defused the tense moment by letting out a tinkling giggle. "Sillies! He was embarrased, weren't you, Gandalf?"

"Wizards do not get 'embarrassed'!" Gandalf shouted. Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn shrank back from his awsome presence.

Debbie, however, remained unfazed. "C'mon, Gandalf, be honest! You flubbed the spell because your mind was on...other things. And you didn't want to face the others, so you left."

Legolas clicked his tongue in disgust. Gimli impatiently tapped his foot. And Aragorn shook his head.

"You could've just told them," Debbie insisted. "I'm sure they would've understood. Right, guys?"

After a pause, the others nodded enthusiastically.

Gandalf ran a hand over his face. "This is all beside the point, really. We have pressing matters to attend to."

Gimli asked, "Finding the other Debbies, you mean?"

Both Aragorn and Legolas exchanged wry smiles.

"No, you fools! There's a war on, you know. Rohan is in danger. We must get to King Théoden as soon as we can."

"Théoden," mused Debbie. "I forget which one he is. Is he cute?"

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