How I Spent My Summer Vacation
Chapter Five: A Horse Is A Horse, Of Course
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June 30 I'd thought I was rid of all the visitors from Middle Earth once and for all, as I'd failed to have one for quite some time. *Maybe the portal was snippy at my making demands upon it, or sending back all its previous 'gifts',* I'd thought. But apparently I was wrong. I decided I had to give in and go grocery shopping, as much as I loathed it. After all, there's only so much peanut butter a woman can eat. So I got up at around 10:00 today to shower and go to the store before the place got too crowded. I threw off my nightgown and pulled back the shower curtain, to find Éomer standing in my shower. Accustomed to this sort of thing by now, I didn't scream, but he sure did. He held his hand up over his face for a good two minutes after I assured him I was wearing a towel and he had nothing to fear. Geez--I didn't think I looked *that* bad! Éomer was armored and filthy and stank like a stable that hadn't been cleaned forever. He kinda brought on a 4-H flashback before I came to my senses and explained to him that if he was going to stay in this house and anywhere near me, he needed to bathe. A lot. He got all squeamish and complainy at first, but when he realized I was going to leave him alone for it, and wouldn't offend his modesty or anything, he agreed to give it a try. I finally gave up on him about noon, when it was clear that no amount of Herbal Essences Body Wash was going to remove that horse smell. He actually looked kind of dejected then: I mean, the portal obviously hadn't come back, as he'd been standing in it for two hours, and he really was *trying* to be presentable. It was then that I had a stroke of brilliance. "You know, Éomer, I have a tree that was hit by lightning the other day--" "Did Legolas come out of your television then?" he interrupted. "Um...no. He came here via portal weeks ago, just as you did. Only he came out of the closet." I thought about that for a minute, then rephrased, "Um...walked out of the closet upstairs. Anyway, as I was saying, that tree really needs chopping. Since it appears that you're...unsuitable for work indoors, would you mind taking care of that tree? The axe is in the toolshed." "I would be glad to, my Lady," he replied. My heart gave a little flutter there, and I thought for a second that maybe if I pinched my nostrils together with a clothespin...but no. The odor would be in my sheets for weeks. "That would be lovely, Éomer," I answered. He walked out the back door, and I watched him heft the axe from my kitchen window. A thought occurred to me then: might as well make the best of the situation. I opened the window and called out to him, "Oh, and Éomer?" "Yes, my Lady?" he called back, swinging the axe about a bit for practice. "Would you mind chopping that tree up...shirtless?" He was grinning, and I could've sworn he winked. "Not at all, my Lady." I offered him another shower to cool off afterward, and he gladly accepted. After I'd heard the water running for over 20 minutes, I went in to check, and he was gone. Unfortunately for him, his armor was still in a pile on my bathroom floor. Hope he didn't zap back in the middle of a battle... Lisa GO TO Chapter Six BACK to Chapter Index BACK to GypsieRose Index BACK to Fanfic Index BACK to Main Page |