How I Spent My Summer Vacation
Chapter Nine: Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love
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July 15 Michelle was horribly jealous when I told her Boromir had paid me a visit, arrows or no arrows. I realized later that I should have taken a picture for her, but I had to settle for sending her a shot of the bloodstains on the woodwork as proof. Today I was in the living room, putting the finishing touches on the decor. I was up on a stepladder hanging a print of Monet's "Houses of Parliament" above my fireplace when I heard a loud thump and a yell, accompanied by an enormous cloud of soot billowing out from the hearth below me. The phrase "Christmas in July" sprang to mind, but the foot sticking out from the opening did not look like Santa's. With some apprehension I climbed down the ladder and looked into the fireplace. An extremely irate Steward of Gondor stared back at me with mad, burning eyes. I folded my arms and glared right back at him. "I do not have enough fire insurance to deal with you," I said. "You're going to stay right where you are until the portal opens again, capisce?" I half-expected him to argue, but perhaps he had been somewhat stunned in the fall, because he stayed there quietly until the portal opened again. All the same, I'm calling my insurance agent first thing in the morning to increase my fire coverage. Meanwhile, at least Denethor did me the service of sweeping my chimney with his clothes on the way down, so I suppose every cloud has a silver lining. I must remember to add "not insane" to my list of requirements. Lisa
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