GZW presents:
Thursday Night Travesty
4th October 2001
“Dive” by Nirvana plays as TNT comes onto the airwaves! On the titantron, there are clips of all the GZW wrestlers. Clips of note are T-Rex hitting Firefly with extinction, Smooth hitting a Smooth bomb on Pimp, Diamond and Epic double teaming Cajun Effect, Pitfighter kicking a stop sign into G/W’s face, Eclipse and Gideon slugging it out, UJ hitting the Jack Hammer on Sajiri, Deacon hitting Magic with a reverse chokeslam, &c.
On the zerotron, pyro and big time fireworks signify the start of the broadcast…
Siu Ann Wong:
“Well good evening to everybody, and welcome to GZW Thursday Night Travesty! I’m Siu Ann Wong, and with me is…”
Jackie Lee:
“The best colour commentator in the business, Jackie Lee! Welcome to Travesty everyone!”
Siu Ann:
“Only four days after Dark Horizon, the wrestling world is reeling from the REAL travesty that was that Pay Per View!”
Jackie:
“Actually, I thought that it was one of the greatest things I have seen in my life! Some of that hardcore madness was as good as the HKWF style!”
Siu Ann:
“It was one of the most brutal events I have ever seen, and I commentated for HKWF for five years! And as far as I’m concerned it was a real travesty from start to finish!”
Jackie:
“The only travesty I can see from that PPV was that Jackie Lee and Siu Ann Wong weren’t commentating on every match! Those other muppet commentators like Will and Dean are nothing compared to the dream team of Jackie Lee, and… what was your name again darlin’?”
Siu Ann:
“Very funny Jackie, and you should watch what you say! Were sharing commentator duties again tonight with Will and Dean!”
~~~~~ DEBUT MATCH ~~~~~
~~~~~ “El Gambit” Santiago De Touwce V Diamond Sledge ~~~~~
Diamond’s music hits the PA, and the crowd cheer. Diamond walks onto the zerotron and waves enthusiastically at the crowd. He walks to the ring, and slaps hands with fans on the way.
Siu Ann:
“A warm reception for Diamond Sledge!”
Jackie:
“Stupid fans… Diamond is one of the worst wrestlers I have ever had to endure!”
Suddenly, “Digg” by Mudvayne hits the PA, and a motorbike can be heard! “El Gambit” Santiago De Towce zooms onto the zerotron on his Harley! He is wearing faded jeans and cowboy boots, with a vest with the letters HKWF on the front and a leather jacket. He parks the bike, and points to the lettering on his chest.
Siu Ann:
“El Gambit showing his allegiances here!”
Jackie:
“He’s made the right choice!”
Arrogantly, El G struts to the ring. A few fans boo because he’s coming in to HKWF music, but most are just disinterested! El G gets into the ring, and spits on the mat in front of Diamond! Diamond looks hurt, but a look of anger slowly develops, and he steams in towards El G hitting a clothesline.
Jackie:
“Hey! No fair! El G hasn’t even taken his leather jacket off yet!”
Siu Ann:
“He shouldn’t have disrespected Diamond!”
El G reaches into his jacket as Diamond stands over him. Diamond is blocking the refs view, and El G takes advantage. He pulls his a cosh and thrusts it right into Diamond’s throat!
Siu Ann:
“Hey! That’s cheating!”
Jackie:
“El Gambit was always like this in HKWF… that’s why I liked him so much!”
As the crowd boos, El G slips the cosh outside the ring, and takes off his leather jacket. Diamond meanwhile is writhing on the floor, clutching his neck!
Siu Ann:
“With that cosh blow, an illegal object I might add, I think that all El Gambit has to do is pin Diamond to get a victory!”
Jackie:
“Go El Gambit!”
Siu Ann:
“Do you have to mock me all the time?”
Jackie:
“Yup!”
El G puts his boot on Diamond’s chest, and flexes his muscles as the ref counts.
Siu Ann:
“Oh the arrogance!”
1…
2…
Kickout!
Jackie:
“What?!?!”
Siu Ann (sarcastic voice):
“Go Diamond!”
El Gambit is furious, and lays the boot into Diamond. Diamond rolls out of the ring to regroup. El G refuses to let him and runs, hitting a senton splash over the top rope (no hands) outside the ring (think Essa Rios).
Siu Ann:
“Goodness gracious! High risk offence or what?!?!?”
Jackie:
“El Gambit is the man!”
El G infuriates the crowd with a moonwalk outside the ring.
Siu Ann:
“Oh the arrogance!”
But Diamond is up, and hits a running clothesline on the moonwalker.
Jackie:
“Hey what a cheap shot!”
Diamond rolls into the ring, and the ref starts a count-to-count out El G. But El G is up and back in the ring by 6.
Jackie:
“You ain't gonna keep El Gambit down with a clothesline?”
Siu Ann:
“After some of the matches I’ve seen him wrestle against Celestia L’yark, I have to agree with you!”
El G holds up his hand in offering of a test of strength, but when Diamond goes for it, El G boots him in the breadbasket, and drops him with a DDT!
Siu Ann:
“What a lack of honour El Gambit has!”
Jackie:
“Yeah! Ain’t he great!”
El Gambit pulls up Diamond, and Irish whips him. Bouncing off the opposite ropes he hurls himself at Diamond hitting a high impact cross body straight into a pin.
1…
Siu Ann:
“With impact like that, he might have it!”
2…
Kickout!
Jackie:
“Stay down Diamond. Losing to El Gambit is an inevitability!”
El G pulls Diamond back up again, and goes for an Irish whip, but it’s reversed by Diamond. Diamond misses a clothesline, then misses a reverse elbow. El G bounces off the ropes once more and goes for another cross body, Diamond ducks, but El G rolls out of the fall and gets up aiming a quick boot at Diamond. Diamond catches it.
Siu Ann:
“This pace is unbelievable!”
Gambit goes for an inseguri, but Diamond ducks. Diamond tries to drop an elbow, but El G moves out the way. El G goes for a legdrop, but Diamond rolls out the way! Diamond gets up and charges at El G for a clothesline.
Jackie:
“The speed if El Gambit is unbelievable!”
Siu Ann:
“AND Diamond!”
El G ducks, knees Diamond in the back, hooks his into a reverse DDT position and grabs hold of his tights. From there he pulls up Diamond by the tights, and drops him with a reversed implant DDT!
Siu Ann:
“Rock of Gibraltar!”
El G hooks the leg quickly for a pin.
1…
Siu Ann:
“El Gambit just hit the Rock of Gibraltar! No-one kicks out of that!”
2…
Jackie:
“What an easy win for El Gambit!”
3!
DING DING DING!
Siu Ann:
“Just like that, with a Rock of Gibraltar DDT, El Gambit takes the victory!”
Jackie:
“An inevitability!”
Siu Ann:
“But the pace of that match! Amazing!”
As “Digg” plays once more, El G rolls out of the ring… but then he spots his cosh! He picks it up, and a nasty smile comes onto his face. He rolls back into the ring. Diamond is just getting back up albeit slightly gammy-legged, but El G viciously cracks him across the skull with the cosh sending him straight back down to the mat!
Siu Ann:
“Hey! This match is over!”
Jackie:
”YES! YES! YES! El Gambit is the man!”
Diamond is unconscious, and blood is pouring onto the mat! The crowd are booing loudly at El G, who soaks them up like Firefly soaks up the cheers.
Siu Ann (crying):
“El Gambit is sadistic and evil! He actually enjoys the boos of the crowd!”
El G Spits on Diamond’s back, and heads to the back.
Siu Ann:
“Such arrogance and disrespect! How DARE he!”
Jackie:
“Whatever Siu Ann… anyway, for some reason, we have to pass over to Will and Dean! They ain’t as good as us, but hey, I don’t sign the pay checks… so from Siu Ann and myself, Jackie Lee… sayonara!”
Siu Ann:
“Wait a moment Jackie! I’ve just heard that we aren’t going straight into the next match; we have a ‘match classic’ coming from the BCWF! I can’t believe that Tate Edmonson still has the rights to this after the screw job he did to the federation, but hey, I’m only a commentator! After this match classic, we should be going to Will and Dean for the next match straight after!”
~~~~~ MATCH CLASSIC ~~~~~
BritPack v Claymores
BCWF Tag Team Titles
September 1999.
James Saville – Hello fight fans and welcome back to the MEN Arena here in Manchester, up next is the first part of our double main event. We have the BCWF tag team belts on the line, with the 10 time champions BritPack versus the newcomers to BCWF and first time challengers to the belts the Claymores. Sat here next to me doing the play-by-play announcements is Richard Dastardly, well Dick what are your thoughts on the match.
RD – First off its Richard …..Jimmy and secondly the Britpack are gonna nail these 2 scottish punks. Who do they think they are challenging the great ones to a title match, here in Manchester? This is only there 3rd match in BCWF and these two upstarts think they can really go all the way…c’mon who they kiddin’ this is gonna be over in an instant 1….2….3.
JS – And with that prediction it’s over to our announcer, Laura Lane.
[The lights in the arena fade to black as the titantron shows two Claymore swords crossed. ‘Ace of Spades’ by Motorhead kicks in and onto the walkway step Agnes and Hamish Claymore.]
LL – This next match is for the BCWF tag team titles. Making there way down to the ring, weighing a combined weight of 540lbs and both standing at 7”0 tall, Scotland’s finest export Angus and Hamish, the Claymores.
[They make their way down to ringside, the crowd give a few pops but because of their nationality there are not many cheers for them in England. They walk up the steps and go to each corner and climb the turnbuckles, kissing each forearm and raising them in the air.
RD – Hey, somebody else does that. Who is it?
JS – I believe that they have been greatly influenced in their career by our past champions Northern Exposure.
RD – Pimp and Union Jack influenced them. Great role models!!!
[A big white bang of pyro, and the British National Anthem begins to play. Out onto the walkway to a crescendo of boo’s and jeers step BritPack, Chris Adams and Michael Edmonson. They carry the BCWF titles over their shoulders. They slowly walk down to the ring.]
LL – Now making there way down to the ring weighing a combined weight of 500lbs and standing at 6’7 are the BCWF tag team champions, Chris Adams and Michael Edmonson better known as BritPack.
[Britpack step into the ring and hand over the belts to the referee. Adams and Edmonson begin pointing over at the Claymores and gesturing that they will be broken in two. The bell sounds and the match is underway.]
JS – Looks like we got some strong competition for Britpack for once. The Claymores look up for this one.
RD – This is gonna be over in a second, in fact I might just go for a quick piss whilst we wait.
JS – Sit your arse down, Dick!!!
[The action is already underway with Adams trying to take it to Angus. They both lock up in the center with Adams getting the better of Angus. He whips him into the corner and issues out some Mongolian chops. The crowd let out huge whoo’s and start to count to 10, but Angus cuts them short as he reverses and throws Adams into the corner. He starts to lay in a lot of left and right jabs to his opponent.]
JS – Angus taking it to Adams here.
RD – Beginners luck, C’mon Edmonson get in there!!!
[As if by magic, Michael Edmonson rushes in and grabs Angus by the back of his head and throws him down back first onto the hard canvas. The referee ushers Edmonson out of the ring. Adams has now climbed up onto the top rope and leaps off into a huge suicidal leg drop. Nailing Angus right across the throat. Adams gets up and raises his hands to the crowd. Who boo loudly.]
JS – The crowd not liking what the Britpack have to offer.
RD – There all tramps in Manchester anyway, nobody knows anything about class in this neighbourhood.
[Adams leans over Angus to pick him up only to be met with a solid right to the chops. Adams reels back only for Angus to whip him into the ropes, at the same time tagging in Hamish.]
JS – The Claymores getting ready for a little double-team here.
RD – Aww c’mon ref, this is one on one wrestling not a battle royal.
JS – Will you shut up!!
[Adams comes crashing off the ropes and is met by Double tilt-a-whirl face first slam from the Claymores.]
JS – Boom, boom that shook the room. Wow. What a manoeuvre from the Claymores there.
[Hamish picks up a reeling Adams sets him up for a german suplex; Adams head comes crashing down on the mat, again and again and again. Until Edmonson comes in and breaks the hold. Angus rushes the ring only to be held back by the ref. Whilst he is distracted Edmonson strangles out Hamish whilst Adams recuperates.]
RD – ring his neck Mickey!!! Scottish poufs.
[Adams picks up Hamish and lets of a series of belly to back suplexes. He then tags in Edmonson who goes to work on Hamish’s lower back]
JS – Britpack have found a spot and are now taking it to the Claymores.
[Edmonson then locks in a bear hug on the already injured lower back of Hamish. Hamish falls down to one knee and then to both knees, the ref begins the 3 KO count.
1……………..
2…………….
3….No the arm is up. Hamish with a burst of fresh life nails Edmonson with a right forearm to the face. They both crash to the floor and begin their crawl to there respective corners.]
JS – And you said this one was going to be short.
RD – So I lied, why don’t you just commentate and leave the puns to me.
[Hamish gets the tag first as both partners rush in. It’s Hamish who connects first with a huge clothesline. Adams is down, now Edmonson receives one too. Hamish and Angus pick up Adams and throw him over the top rope. They then grip Edmonson and whip him into the ropes and set him up for a double brain buster suplex and nail it with perfection.]
JS – These kids are unbelievable, did you see the ease with which they dropped that move.
RD – Your great, c’mon Adams gets in there.
JS – I don’t think you can help either of them now!!
[Adams is still crashed out on the hard concrete floor; Edmonson is out cold on the matt. Angus signals to Hamish for them both to go up top. They both clamber up each ring post and drop down with two flying head butts. Edmonsons body flies up off the canvas and back down with a sickening thud!]
RD – Oh my god. I have just witnessed a murder. Somebody called the police. This is just thuggery.
[On seeing what just happened to his partner, Adams rushes the ring only to be met by a big size 13 to the kisser from Angus. Adams again crashes to the outside. Angus and Hamish pick up Edmonson and deliver the ‘Jock Drop’ a spiked superpower bomb]
JS – That’s it. That’s got to be it. The Claymores in the most one-sided match I ever saw have destroyed the BritPack.
RD – This sucks just like your wife.
[Hamish goes for the pin whilst Angus climbs the turnbuckle and counts with the crowd.]
1…………
2…………
3…………
JS – We have new tag team champions here in BCWF. Everybody listen to the name as they are gonna be huge, Angus and Hamish Claymore the NEW tag team champions.
~~~~~ Manic Depression V Jai-Ray ~~~~~
Will: “Weww hewwo to evewyone! I’m Wiww and with me is…”
Dean: “Dean! The best damned colour commentator in the business, whatever that loser Jackie Lee says!”
[Jai Ray’s music kicks in as he makes his way down the ramp. The crowd gives a mixed reaction as he slides into the ring under the bottom rope. He raises his arms high above his head as the music cuts.]
[*”Denial Has Left You All Alone!” echoes around the arena as the lights fade out. “Denial” by Sevendust kicks in as Manic Depression makes his way down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He jumps over the top rope and begins to loosen up as his music fades out.*]
Dean: The almost unknown Manic Depression will be going against the man Jai Ray. Someone who has become scarce as of late.
Will: Yea this match is a toss up.
The bell sounds as the two men lock up. Manic applies a side headlock but Jai pushes him into the ropes. Manic bounces off and nails Jai with a thunderous closeline knocking him to the ground. Manic runs at the ropes and bounces off. He leaps up into the air and nails a splash onto his chest. He hooks the leg and rolls him up.
One
Two
Th…
Dean: Kickout by Jai.
Manic lifts Jai up and whips him into the corner. Manic charges in but Jai lifts his feet up and nails Manic in the chops. Jai charges in and nails a shoulder tackle knocking Manic to the ground. Jai runs over to the corner and jumps up to the top. Jai leaps off and nails a leg drop across the throat of Manic then makes the cover.
One
Two
Thre…kickout
Dean: Kickout by Manic.
Will: Manic isn’t out yet.
Dean: He needs to just give up.
Jai stomps away on Manic violently. Manic tries to get to his feet but Jai keeps the man grounded. Jai bounces off the ropes and leaps into the air but Manic rolls out of the way causing Jai to land face first on the mat. Manic runs over to the corner and climbs to the top rope. Manic holds his ground as he waits for Jai to get up. Jai staggers to his feet and Manic leaps off nailing a closeline to the chest sending Jai hard to the ground. Manic signals for the end as Jai staggers to his feet. Manic whips him across the ring and hits him with “Depression!” (finisher – Tilt a Whirl Into a Jumping Tombstone Piledriver)
Dean: Holy cow what a move.
Will: There’s Maxx Pain! What’s he doing down here?
Manic makes the cover and hooks the leg.
One
Two
Three!
[*Maxx Pain slides into the ring as the ref raises Manic’s hand. Maxx stomps away on the downed Jai. Manic slides out of the ring as Maxx continues his assault on Jai.*]
Dean: End his career Maxx!
Will: Somebody stop this guy.
Maxx Pain slides out of the ring and grabs a steel chair. He slides back into the ring and brings the chair down onto his lower back denting the chair. Jai grabs his back as Maxx continues to slam the chair down on his lower back. He throws the chair down on the ground and slides back out of the ring.
Will: Is it over yet?
Dean: No he’s still moving.
Maxx grabs the steel steps and chunks them into the ring. Maxx slides in and begins to stomp away again on Jai. He drags his thumb across his throat slowly then moves the steel steps to the corner. He drags Jai over to the corner and sets him up on it. Maxx climbs up after him. Maxx lifts him up onto his shoulders and turns around. He lifts him up and slams Jai down on the steel steps with a vicious high impact powerbomb!
Will: That could be the end of Jai Ray
Dean: The “Careerkiller” strikes again.
[*The ref’s push Maxx away as they check on Jai. Maxx smiles evilly as he slides out of the ring and makes his way to the back.*]
Will: How howwible.
Dean: Isn’t it great? I love it I love it.
Will: You’we a bad, bad man.
Dean: Oh well.
-------------- Eclipse Vs Gideon -----------falls count anywhere ----------
Will: Wewcome to anyone joining us, and thank you to Siu Ann and Jackie! Wiww and Dean hewe, commentating on the next match. At the big Pay Per View Extwavaganza we saw these two go at it toe to toe, in a vewy exciting match, tonight we wiww see the weturn match, in a fawws count anywhere match, in a match that could pwove to be thwilling!
Dean: not if the PPV match was anything to go by, why oh why do I get stuck commentating these low class wrestlers all the time?
Will: cause your the wowest commentator of them aww
Dean: hey, cheeky, besides I could probably mix it with either of these two they are both no good, and I would outshine them as I am the multi-talented one!
Will: and I am Biww Gates!
Dean: shut up Will, at least I have more skill than that no good, Chump of a Cameraman, Bazildon Bond, you want a piece of me then come get me! the only thing you are good at is being the Chump, you’re not even a decent cameraman. Then you try to mix it up with Me the superb one try it punk and just like your friend Smooth Legs you will get squashed by the inevitable! hahahaha
(Gideon’s music begins to play on the PA system, he comes out to a mixed reaction from the crowd, he walks down to the ring with a slight smile on his face. He looks out into the crowd, but he sees no signs for him, as he continues down to the ring, there is clapping, but not much more)
Dean: see the fans can’t make up their mind about him, and I well just haven’t seen anything great from him.
Will: excuse me if I heard wight he is an ex HKWF champion, that means the man is no push over you know
Dean: yea but Eclipse is
Will: and Ecwipse was able to hang with Gideon at the PPV
Dean: yea but that doesn’t stop him from sucking
(Eclipse’s music begins to play on the PA system and he also comes out to a mixed reaction, he looks into the crowd to read a sign that says “his career is Eclipsed”)
Dean: what the hell is that sign meant to mean?, I mean come on I knew these fans were pathetic, and didn’t have a great education but they could have come up with something better than that
Will: Pity sounds like something you would come up with
Dean: you’re getting cheeky Will
(Eclipse enters the ring, and as he does he walks in and shakes hands with Gideon, they then begin to circle each other)
Will: both of these men have a share of wespect for each other after their match at Dark Howizon, and I have got to say that I like this show of wespect vewy vewy much!
Dean: bah, it makes me sick, what is it with these two do they not want to win? If it was me in the ring I would be taking every opportunity I can!
(Eclipse lunges at Gideon, and Gideon moves out of he way, and falls on his face to the mat, Gideon picks up Eclipse and whips him into the turnbuckle)
Dean: an Elementary mistake by Gideon their, hehe
Will: but I’m sure it won’t keep Ecwipse down!
Dean: sure it will, well maybe if it wasn’t against somebody as weak as Gideon mentally!
(Gideon follows up on the offence as he charges in and connects with a spear in the corner, Gideon walks out and Eclipse collapses holding his stomach on the mat)
Dean: whoa, something actually not bad in this match
Will: weww we aww no the Gideon is no slouch!
Dean: Could have fooled me!
(Gideon looks down at Eclipse on the floor, and offers him a hand to help him up, Eclipse grabs hold of his hand, and pulls his face into turnbuckle)
Dean: ahahaha, a new attitude being shown by Eclipse here, and I think I like it!
Will: weww it wooks to me that Ecwipse has decided to take the advantage by any means!
Dean: yea too right, its much better than that panzey attitude he had at Dark Horizon, I think I am beginning to like him!
(Eclipse is quickly to his feet, and he drives a knee into the mid-section of Gideon, Gideon’s falls to the ground, and Eclipse uses his foot to start choking Gideon)
Dean: whoa, this match, it’s turning out to be a total surprise! Its not actually boring, Eclipse is taking it to Gideon, wooohoooooooooo
Will: what is Eclipse doing? I thought he was going to play by the rules? and instead he starts to take his advantage by going against the rules!
(The referee pulls Eclipse off Gideon, and begins to lecture him, Eclipse pushes the referee out of the way but as he does, Gideon explodes out of the corner and nails Eclipse with a huge Clothesline that spins Eclipse in the air before landing on the mat)
Dean: darn just as things were beginning to look up!
Will: Gideon isn’t going to take punishment wike this wying down you know!
Dean: he does everything else lying down! Hehehe….. lazy get!
(Gideon lays in a couple of boots to the back of Eclipse before setting up a Boston crab on Eclipse)
Will: I think the actions of Eclipse have angered Gideon now, he looks a little more ferocious now!
Dean: yes but Eclipse did a wise thing if it means he will take his opportunities in this match I think he’ll have this match safely under his belt!
Will: don’t count out Gideon yet though!
Dean: I won’t but the referee might! Hehe
(Eclipse reaches his arm out and grabs the bottom rope, the referee tells Gideon who instantly releases the hold)
Dean: what a dumb idiot why didn’t he execute a five count like a true master of the ring would, instead he has to play goodie goodie
Will: The rules clearly state that if your opponent has his hand on the bottom rope then you must release the hold, and Gideon is just playing by the rules.
Dean: yea like an idiot, the referee must also give you a five count before you release the hold why not use that to your advantage?
(Gideon lets Eclipse get to his feet, then grabs hold of his arm looking to whip him into the far ropes, but Eclipse hooks his other arm over the ropes stopping Gideon from whipping him into the ropes. Eclipse then pulls Gideon his way and pulls down the top rope, and Gideon sails to the outside)
Dean: ahahaha, Eclipse just tossed Gideon to the outside like he was a rag doll! Hehehe, I have got to say that I do like this new attitude from Eclipse
Will: It sickens me to think that man that shook hands with Gideon at the beginning could suddenwy turn and go compwetewy against the ruwes wike this!
(Eclipse looks down at Gideon on the outside, and watches as Gideon gets up to one knee, and then does a plancha onto Gideon on the outside, and lands it)
Will: high wisk offence by Ecwipse there!
Dean: too right do what you have to do to be the “Far East Beast!”
(Eclipse begins to mount punches on the outside to Gideon, the referee starts a ten count)
ONE………..
Will: these two no want to get counted out!
TWO……..
Dean: I wouldn’t blame Gideon for trying to get out of this match via count out though!
THREE…..
Will: he has too much pwide to wet himsewf get counted out!
FOUR…….
Dean: maybe true but I see it as stupidity!
FIVE……..
(Eclipse finally stops the mounted punches on Gideon and rolls in and back out of the ring, and the referee has to restart his ten count)
ONE…….
Dean: this Eclipse is smart, he wants to completely destroy Gideon before he lets him skive out of this match he easy way!
TWO……..
Will: you know that Gideon wouldn’t take the easy way out of any match!
THREE………
(Eclipse picks up Gideon and goes to whip him into the steel ring post)
FOUR……..
Dean: you see that?, Eclipse is really taking it to Gideon now
FIVE…….
Will: Ecwipse not this way, don’t go wike the Bad Infwuence!
SIX……
(Eclipse picks up Gideon and rolls him into the ring, quickly followed by Eclipse, Gideon is withering in pain on the mat, and Eclipse is stalking him)
Dean: yes Eclipse show Gideon what it feels like to be truly eclipsed, you are the man Eclipse come on
Will: why is Ecwipse doing this? There must be a wogicaw expwanation for this! Surewy
Dean: if he wins this match he moves up the ladder and can get classed as mid-card material, what more of a reason do you need?
(Gideon is crawling across the ring and every time he attempts to get up Eclipse knocks him back down with boots to his back)
Dean: hahaha I love it, Eclipse is now toying with Gideon this is true humiliation for Gideon, and I couldn’t have believed it at the start of this match!
(Gideon manages to get himself to the corner, and uses the ropes to help him up, but Eclipse keeps knocking him back down with punches to his back. Eventually Gideon lays in a flurry of punches into Eclipses mid-section and then gets to his feet and European uppercuts Eclipse into turnbuckle.)
Will: wike I said you can’ keep a good man down!
Dean: nooooooooooo, Eclipse will come back, just take my word for it!
(Gideon sits Eclipse on the top rope, and follows him up, and then superplexs Eclipse off the top, and rolls into a pinning predicament)
ONE……..
Dean: no come on kick out Eclipse!
TWO……..
Will: yes, yes, yes, good wiww awways conquer eviw!
THREE…….
(KICKOUT)
Dean: ahahahaha Eclipse kicked out
Will: at the wast minute Ecwipse got his shouwder up!
(both men stay down for a while, the referee begins a ten count and they both get to their feet almost simultaneously at 8)
Will: both men showing a gweat intensity here
Dean: but Eclipse with the greater show quite obviously
(Gideon swings at Eclipse ducks and counters with a neckbreaker into a cover)
ONE……..
Dean: yea here’s our winner
TWO:
Will: no it can’t be!
(Eclipse hooks his legs on the middle rope)
THREE…….
(DING DING DING)
Will: what Ecwipse has won? I can’t bewieve this
Dean: yea, the opportunist should always win
Will: this is not right he cheated he had his feet on the ropes for leverage!
Dean: a win is a win!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
********* Tag Team Match ***************
("Bad boy 4 life" by P. Diddy and the Bad Boy Family blats through the speakers as Dameon and Hades come walking up to the top of the ramp. Red and blue lights flash everywhere as the two continue down the ramp, getting a good pop from the fans. Dameon climbs up on the apron and goes up to the second turnbuckle. Hades rolls inside of the ring, and bounces on the ropes a little bit. Dameon gets off of the second turnbuckle on the outside apron and steps over the ropes, entering the ring. The two wait for their opponents, chatting amongst themselves.)
Dean: Look at these two! Is it me, or do they fight over which is the better color?
Will: Weww, I think they are kinda wacko, but they awe still coow and gweat afweats!
Dean: Ok William, I haven't seen pigs grow wings yet either!
(Suddenly an unfamiliar tune comes through the PA system as "WAR" by War (Theme song of Rush Hour and Rush Hour2) plays. The fans wait to see who it is, then to their surprise, Albert Wuchie comes walking into view, waving his hands in the air to all of his fans. He walks down the ramp and slaps a few of the Wuchaholic's hands, and makes his way to the commentating table. He picks up a set of headphones and places them over his head, and takes a seat next to Will.)
Will: Look Dean, Albert Wuchie has come out here to commentate for some weason.
Dean: Why the hell are you out here anyway? First you become an article writer for GZW Hotwire, then you become an interviewer, now you are out here to commentate? What’s next, you wrestling?
Albert: You shut up! I become wrestler if I want. You mess with me, I pain you with Kung Wuchie!
Dean: Chill there 'little' man. No need to get all physical with me.
Albert: I just out here to support my guys.
(Albert gives Dameon and Hades two thumbs up. The two look at Wuchie with confusion, and shrug their shoulders. Finally the Hair's music echoes throughout the arena as Nazel and Willie Haire come walking into view. The fans cheer for the two also as they walk down to the ring. Willie picks his nose, and goes to slap one of the fans hands, but they move out of the way just before the hands made contact. Willie shrugs his shoulder and wipes his hands on his shorts. The two roll into the ring and taunt the crowd. Dameon makes his way into his corner as Willie goes to his. The ref calls for the bell as the match goes underway. Hades and Willie start off by locking up. Willie gets the better and of the grapple and applies a headlock, trying to cut circulation off the Hades’ head. Hades fights back with a few elbows to Willie's gut, forcing him to release the hold. Hades pushes Willie into the ropes as he comes bouncing back. Hades catches him in a power slam. He then stands above the man, and bounces off the ropes, looking for an elbow drop, but Willie moves out of the way. Hades grabs onto his elbow as it has just crashed into the mat. Willie picks the blue man up by his head and tosses him into his corner. He makes the tag to Nazel as they trade places.)
Will: The fiwst tag of the match. Hades needs to get his tag soon.
Albert: He be fine. He just felling a little blue that I now get an interview with him today.
Dean: Yeah, I bet. Especially after they rejected you the other day!
Albert: That not rejection! I leave because I have more important thing to do!
(Nazel starts off his turn in the match with a few kicks to the ribs of Hades. Hades lands on his knees, and drapes one arm across his stomach. The ref checks on him to see if he is ok. Hades slowly gets to his feet as he starts to exchange punches with the father of Willie. Nazel starts to get a few blocks in, but Hades does. Hades then jabs his knee into Nazels gut, and sends him over to the other side of the ring where Dameon stands impatiently in the corner. Hades tags his dad in as the two do a number on Nazel. Willie tries to come in, but is stopped by the ref who holds him back. Dameon and Hades take advantage and toss Nazel into the ropes and hit a double spinebuster, taking Nazel's breath away. Hades goes back to his corner as Dameon makes the cover. The ref looks down to see Nazel's shoulders completely flat, and goes for the count.)
One...
Two...
Thr...
(The count is broken up by Willie who dives off the ropes, hitting a headbutt to Dameon's back.)
Will: Good work by both teams tonight. It is hawd to gwess a winner.
Albert: You kidding right? Da Firings going to kick but!
Dean: Anybody can kick the Hairs buts! At least the Firings look as if they have a chance to win one!
(Dameon arches his back after the headbutt. Nazel takes advantage and drops a few elbow drops. Nazel them drags Dameon by the hair he has over to his corner, and tags Willie back in. Nazel applies a standing arm bar as Willie lays a few punches to his ribs. Willie then takes Dameon to the middle of the ring, and tosses him across the ropes. Dameon comes flying back, but only to be hit with a sit down clothesline. Willie goes for the pin.)
One...
Two...
(Kickout! Willie argues with the ref for a second, but gets back to weakening his opponent. Willie kicks Dameon a few times, but Dameon catches his foot, and twists it, sending him face first into the mat. Dameon struggles back up as the two make their way to their corners. Dameon makes the first tag to Hades. He comes running in and stops Willie from reaching his dad. He picks up Willie, and sends him into his corner where Dameon clotheslines him down. Hades then waits for Willie to get up. He signals for his spear, but when he runs, Willie moves out of the way, resulting in Dameon getting hit. Willie takes advantage, and grabs Hades by the waist and tosses him over his head with a release German suplex.)
Dean: The blue jay can fly!
Will: That’s not flying, that’s fawwing!
Albert: Who care. He not done yet!
(Willie walks over to his corner and tags in Nazel. Hades quickly makes his way to his corner, but Nazel grabs his leg and pulls him to the middle of the ring where he picks Hades up. Nazel proceeds to toss Hades against the ropes. As Hades comes back, Nazel goes for clothesline, but Hades ducks it. Nazel looks back around to get Hades again, but Hades hits him with a standing flipping dropkick. Nazel struggles to get to his feet, but the second he does, Hades comes up from and takes him down with a snap neckbreaker. Nazel lays in the middle of the ring motionless as Dameon sticks his hand out for the tag. Hades tags his dad in, and goes into the corner. Dameon walks over to Nazel, but is hit with a swift low blow. The ref barely sees it, but just warns Nazel not to do it again. Nazel walks over to Willies corner and tags him in. Willie runs into the ring, but goes to the other corner and knocks Hades down. Nazel applies an abdominal stretch to Dameon, stretching his stomach and ribs out. Willie then calls for his finishing manuvver, Heat Seeking Moisture Missile (Gore). He charges at Dameon, but he slides out of the submission, letting Nazel get driven into the mat by the move.)
Albert: Those Hairs show no good teamwork!
Dean: So, neither of these men show great athleticism!
Will: Um, you two need to quite awguing. We are live you know!
Dean: Shut it Will. This is my damn show, I can say whatever I want!
(Hades suddenly picks up two chairs from outside and tosses one to Dameon. They stand on opposite sides of Willie, waiting for him to get up. As Hades goes to swing, the ref swipes the chair out of his hand. When Dameon swings his, Willie ducks it. Willie swipes the chair from the ref’s hand, and waits for Dameon to turn around. Dameon looks around the crowd and grabs onto his chair. When he turns around to face Willie, he knocks him down, smashing the chair over his head. But to his surprise, Willie did the same thing. Both men hit each other with chairs right in front of the ref. He looks down to see both men knocked out, and calls for the bell. He steps outside of the ring and whispers something into Will's ear.)
Will: This match has been cawwed as a double DQ!
Albert: What? That not right. Willie hit Dameon with chair!
Dean: And Dameon hit Willie! Both men knocked each other out at the same time!
Will: I gwess this doesn't prove a thing about both teams.
Dean: Whets there to prove? They both suck!
Albert: I go celebrate with Dameon and Hades now.
(Albert hops into the ring, and raises Hades hand in the air. Hades looks down at the little man and forces his hand out of Albert's. Hades steps outside of the ring, and helps Dameon out also. Albert runs after the two, and follows them into the back. Willie and Nazel start to make their way into the back as the fans cheer for the great match up, leading to a double DQ.)
--------------------Main Event: Light Heavyweight Championship------------------------
-----------------Len “The Lizard” D’Bray vs. “Lone Gunman” John Taylor--------------------
{The arena suddenly goes silent, until the tune of “Cops and Robbers” by Bo Diddley springs onto the PA, as Len Dubray walks out onto the stage. The crowd ignites in a large heel pop, as Len makes for the ring. He walks slowly, and with purpose. Evil is across his face, as he slides into the ring. He soaks up the boos and catcalls, as he taunts the crowd some more!}
Dean: Aw what is this? Booing Len D’Bray? Hey! It’s not his fault he’s Firefly’s brother, stop giving him a hard time!
Will: They awe booing him because he is a deranged, viowent individual!
{The intro to Mudvayne’s “Dig” rips over the PA, as the lights flash on and off, and from the shadows, a tall figure can be made out on the ramp. He is wielding a kendo stick. After waving it professionally, the lights come on, and it is the “Lone Gunman” John Taylor, the GZW Light heavyweight Champion. The fans give the largest heel pop of the night, as the Hitman of HKWF walks slowly to the ring. He drags the belt along the ground, then climbs into the ring.}
Will: Hewe is the Wone Gunman, HKWF’s hitman…nothing mowe than a bully, a thug!
Dean: You just don’t see talent Will. That’s why I am “The Multi Talented One”, and you are “Annoying”.
Will: Weww seeing how you love these two so much who is your pick?
{Gunman gives a quick martial arts punch and kick display in the ring, as the music cuts.}
Dean: I think actions have spoke for me!
Will: Then I will rewuctantly go with Wen Dubray!
{Referee Richard King calls for the bell as the match gets underway.}
Will: although I don’t wike either of these two men, we can be guaranteed a Memowible main event hewe!
Dean: Well Duh! Why else would I be in wrestling? To see Smooth? Puh-leeze! Bring on Pimp and the Bad Influence I say!
{The two circle each other for a few moments, and go for a tie-up, the result being a quick test of strength, where Gunman gets the advantage with a blind thumb to the eye of the Lizard! Startled, Len falls victim to some big time Chops to the chest…}
Will: OUCHIES!!
{And another, and another, until Len retaliates with a side elbow to the face, knocking the Gunman back. Dubray then calls for Gunman to step forward, which he does, only to be set up for a DDT from Len!}
Will: Gunman just wawked into that!!!
{Len quickly drops Gunman with the DDT, then grabs him by the head, picks him up, and drives a front knee into Gunman’s face!! Gunman falls backward, but flips up again, and taunts Len with a martial arts flurry. Len has none of it, and hits an old fashioned right hand to John Taylor, then Irish Whips him off the ropes! Gunman comes jolting back, and Len goes for a back body drop, but Gunman kicks Len straight in the head, forcing the Lizard to lean forward, then using the elevation from Len’s back and shoulder’s, Gunman hits a Van Daminater/Fameasser type move, driving Len face first into the mat!!!}
Dean: Holy Moley!!! Len might have gotten decapitated on that one!!!
{Len holds his face in pain, struggling to get up from the canvas, but the wily Gunman strikes with a football style kick straight into the spine!}
Will: Awww!!!! What impact on the kick of death!!!
Dean: That’s the kind of top quality athlete you will find in HKWF!!
{Gunman starts to laugh sadistically, as he hits a few embarrassing stomps to the fallen Len. Gunman takes a step back and goes for a running Double Axe Handle, but Len rolls out of the way, and Gunman eats Canvas!!! Len, like a bullet in a gun, ignites and rushes to Gunman’s legs, and applies Lizard Lash!!![Walls of Jericho]}
Will: The Wizard Wash!!! There’s no escaping this move!!!!
Dean: Rumour has it he used to snap Gator’s spines with this very manuever; maybe he has the same intentions for the Gunman!!!
{Len tries to clamp on the move, but Gunman rolls forwards, into a pinning predicament on the Lizard!…1…2…}
Will: THWE-
Dean: NO! Len just kicks out of that speedy move from Taylor!
{Despite kicking out, Len is still on the ground, and Lone Gunman seizes the moment, by climbing to the top rope.}
Dean: Gunman, at 6’4 and well over 200 pounds is no small man! What is he going to do here?!?
{Gunman looks around at the fans, and taunts them, before flying off with a Benoit Style head butt, which he calls…}
Dean: LAST RESORT!!! Here it comes!!!
{But before the impact is made, Len gets a leg up, driving it into Gunman’s face, mid air! Gunman splats to the mat, and rolls out of the ring. Gunman starts to search under the ring for something. Len manages to get to his feet however, and takes advantage by running off the ropes and nailing Gunman with a big baseball Slide, right in the head!!!}
Will: Wen the Wizard showing his cweativity hewe!!!
{Len then climbs out onto the apron and starts to taunt Gunman, but the Hitman of HKWF gets up and hits a HUGE Dropkick, knocking Len over the ropes, back into the ring!!!}
Dean: Hehe, Never seen that move before!!!
Will: Wen wanded on his shoulders and neck there!!! He could be hurt!!
{Gunman gets to his feet, and grabs a Kendo Stick from under the ring!! He rolls into the ring, weapon in hand!!! Gunman taunts the Lizard with a Kendo Stick wave, then some humiliating kicks! Taylor smacks the stick off the ropes, and the thud is heard throughout the arena. Richard King argues with Taylor, trying to stop him, but Taylor simply shoves him away, advancing on Len, who, with the ref not looking, low blows Taylor!! Len stands up, and nails a perfect Northern Lights Suplex with a bridge!}
Dean: Hey Ref!! You got a count here!!!
Will: We couwd have a new Wight Heavyweight Champion wight here!!!
{King scrambles over and counts…1,}
Dean: TWO…
Will: THREE.
Dean: Kickout by Taylor!!!! The champion kicks out at the last possible moment!!! Can you believe it???
{Frustrated, Len grabs the Kendo stick that Gunman dropped, and snaps it in two!!! Len starts to stomp on the broken stick, but doesn’t see Gunman come from behind with a Straight Jacket Suplex! Taylor makes the cover after dropping Dubray on his head!!! 1,2..}
Will: AW! Dubway had his foot on the wope!!
{Gunman rolls backwards, showing off, but only gets boos from the crowd. D’Bray, standing pulls his thumb across his throat, as if signalling the end, and runs forward for a charge, but Gunman, from out of nowhere executes a release belly to belly suplex, sending D’Bray right into the turnbuckle!!!}
Will: Weaping Weapords!!! [leaping leopards] What a thwow, awmost Gweco-Woman [roman] style!
Dean: Gunman should just put Len away now; I wanna get something to eat.
{Len pulls himself up using the turnbuckle, and Gunman walks closer, then attempts a Shuffle Side Kick, which is Blocked by Len, and Gunman goes for an Inseguri, but Len reverses that two, and drops Gunman on his face, and applies a Crossface Chickenwing!!! Gunman starts to writhe in pain, as King asks does he give up. Gunman refuses, and desperately tries to escape. Len stands up, maintaining the hold, and goes for another sweep, but Gunman reverses to a running bulldog on the Lizard!!! Gunman propels himself up, then a double knee drop, and applies a half-Mexican Surfboard, stretching out the prone D’Bray!!}
Will: We awe seeing a vewy vicious side to both these men hewe tonight!!!
Dean: Both men looking to impress in this Main Event match right here on Travesty!!!
{Len is able to force Gunman to advance towards the ropes, where Len grabs them, and applies a blind body scissors, and using the ropes, executes a move almost like the Tajiri’s Tarantula!!}
Will: A Spider Stretch hewe!!! Excruciating hold!!!
{Richard King initialises a 5 count to break the illegal submission…1..2…3…4..Len Releases. Both men brawl to the center of the ring, where Len Irish Whips Gunman, but Gunman overpowers and sends Len off the ropes, and then rips through Len the Lizard with a spear!!! Gunman hooks Len’s leg…}
Dean: One…Two…is this all?
Will: Noooo!!!! How did Wen kick out of that High Impact speaw?
Dean: That I don’t know!!!
{Gunman, furious applies a blatant Choke on Len The Lizard, but Dubray only laughs back at the Gunman!}
Dean: OH MY GOD!!! WHO…WHAT IS LEN D’BRAY????
Will: He is one tough Cookie!!!
{The referee pulls Gunman off Len, and Len goes for a running boot, but Taylor ducks, and quickly hits a High Angle backdrop, dropping the challenger on his head!!! Gunman grabs Len’s legs, and goes for the Silencer…}
Dean: YES!!! The Silencer cannot be stopped, Len the Lizard, prepare for your assassination!!!
{As Gunman applies his sharpshooter-like Submission Finisher, Len starts to fight back with some big time rights, but Gunman hits a front-face dropkick, Tajiri Style!!}
Dean: wow! That thud heard all over the arena!!!
Will: That couwd be aww!
{Gunman once again, goes for the Silencer, but Len tosses him forward, then gets up and hits a big clothesline to the back of Gunman’s head!!! Len picks up Gunman, and whips him into the turnbuckle. He runs forward, and hits a big Monkey Flip, taking the air out of the Gunman, and knocking both men down!}
Will: This is a Twavesty!!!
{Len makes it to his feet, and grabs Gunman, position for a Piledriver.}
Dean: This’ll be all here!!!
{Suddenly, Gunman with a double leg takedown into the Silencer!!! Len screams in pain! Gunman synches it in, applying an intolerable amount of pressure. Len’s face is a picture of pain. He finally gives up and taps out!}
The ref calls for the bell: DING DING DING!
Dean:
“Where the hell is Pimp? He’s supposed to be waxing Smooth’s legs! Surely this isn’t the end of Travesty?”
Will:
“Weww after you and Pimp cheated at Dark Howison, perhaps Pimp has welented… DEAN! Wook Out!”
Suddenly, Dean is smashed in the back of the head by a brutal steel chair shot! Holding the offending weapon is Basildon Bond who was hiding within the crowd! Dean slumps onto the announce table, out cold.
Will:
“Basiwdon Bond has gone mad! Attacking Dean! These two GZW employees have had pwoblems with each other, and now Basiwdon has taken it to another levew!”
Baz’s moment is short-lived…
Will:
“Pimp Bizkit!”
Pimp has also come through the crowd, and boots Baz in the groin. He grabs Baz’s hair, and drags him into the ring.
Pimp:
“Hey Smooth Legs! I’ve got your chump right here! Honour our contact… or I play him alive!”
There is a moment’s pause… and then “Smooth Operator” by Sade hits the PA! The crowd cheer loudly for Smooth as he walks onto the zerotron with his tux on. He has a microphone, and signals for the 80’s classic to be cut.
Smooth:
“You think you’re gonna wax my legs Pimp after the travesty that was our match at Dark Horizon?”
Pimp:
“Oh yes, I do!”
“Digg” by Mudvayne hits the PA and Prey, Wales, Sajiri, Gunman, Maxx Pain, and the rest of the HKWF roster come filtering through the crowd. Pain hands him a pack of leg wax.
Pimp:
“Get him lads!”
The HKWF guys head towards Bond!
Will:
“Oh no! Billy Bond is going to be bwutalised and then get his legs waxed!”
Smooth:
“Not so fast chumps! I have a few friends here to help me!”
“The Right Decision” by Jesus Jones hit the PA, and Crystal comes onto the zerotron to support Smooth.
Pimp:
“Ah ha ha ha haaaaa! Crystal balls and Smooth legs versus me and the lads? You’re as good as smooth legged, Smooth Legs!”
Smooth lowers his glasses, smirks, and does the eyebrow…
Smooth:
“Not quite…”
Suddenly, “Dive” by Nirvana hits the PA, the current TNT music. One by one, wrestlers come onto the zerotron! Luke Laverne, Pitfighter, Gideon, Mooncat, the Haires, Diamond, Epic, the Firings, Fubu, Firefly, T-Rex, Magic, and even UJ and the Claymores join Smooth on the zerotron! Mrs. M, Aqua, Spice, Steph, Shannon, and all the valets join their men on the zerotron too!
Will:
“Unbewievable! Biwwy Bond has got the suppowt of aww the wrestlers on the woster that are decent human beings!”
Smooth:
“Come on lads! Come and get ‘smooth legs’! Come and try it on! You’re travesty of a victory makes out contract void Pimp, and if you have a problem with that, then you’ve got all of us to deal with!”
The crowd cheer wildly in support of Smooth and the new alliance of the true believers in GZW. Pimp looks angry and frustrated, but then suddenly, Maxx Pain screams at the top of his voice “I’m gonna end some careers right now!” and charges at the supporters of Smooth! Within seconds there is a mass brawl, with Smooth’s supporters and Pimp’s supporters going at it!
Will:
“Aww heww has bwoken woose! Aww of GZW’s faithfuw are fighting with the twaitors! Aww this cauwsed by Pimp and Smooth! But I can’t help bewieving that this vicious hatwed has mowe deep wooted weasons than the intercontinentaw titwe!”
Smooth runs to the ring, but is too slow! Pimp plants Baz into the canvas with a vicious brain buster right onto the steel chair! Smooth slides into the ring to take on Pimp, but is quickly hit with a boot to the face. Pimp locks on the final choke (Tazzmission), but Smooth throws him over his shoulder with a hip toss variation! From there, Smooth goes for the Smooth Operation, but Pimp slides under the ring ropes. Smooth leans over the ropes, lunging at him, but Pimp flicks him off, and runs off through the crowd. As Smooth tends to Baz, the carnage and brawling continues as Travesty goes off the air.
Will:
“Goodnight everwy body! I’m Wiww… and I’m suwe Dean’ll be okay in a few hours! Goodnight!”
The camera pans to the mass melee throughout the arena, and fades out, as it shows no signs of stopping!