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---Dark
Match: Almighty Dan vs. Canadian Psycho--- |
GZW
Friday Night
TRAVESTY
As huge
pyrotechnics go off all around the GZW arena, “Dive” by Nirvana plays as
Travesty hits the air. The camera sweeps across the cheering crowd and waving
crowd. Virtually every fan has a sign or a foam finger… or both! One particular
group of fans have their shirts off and a letter painted on their chests to
spell T – R E X (sadly, none of them are female). One fan’s sign reads “Union
Jack is Satan… AGAIN!” Another reads “Pain Operators? Pain to watch!” After a sweep of people cheering and showing
off to the camera in the front row, and a shot of Tom Selleck at ringside and
waving awkwardly, the camera cuts to Will and Dean.
Will:
“Hewwo, and wewcome to this vewwy speciaw edition of
Fwiday Night Twavesty! Tonight, everwy match is a titwe match! We’re Wiww and
Dean!”
Dean:
“Conichuwa! Coni fucking chuwa! Who’d say something
as lame as that! The multi-talented one certainly wouldn’t!”
Will:
“Such diswespect for your fewwow commentators!
Anyway, tonight’s show is action packed… wait a minute, I’m hearing in my
earpiece that something is happening in the parking lot!”
The shot goes up to the zerotron screen, and on
there, Jason Mackavelli is walking through the parking lot with the TV title on
his shoulder. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, Sincere comes running with as
steel chair and blindsides Jason with a vicious shot to the back of the head!
Will:
“What’s Sincere doing here! He’s suppowsed to be in
Hong Kong!”
Dean:
“I don’t know, but I like it!”
From there, Sincere grabs Jason and bounces his head
off the top of a Mercedes’ bonnet. He pulls the prone Jason onto large bonnet,
and drops him onto it with a DDT!
Will:
“Sincere is assaulting Jason! Jason may not be able
to defend his title in the battle royal tonight if this carries on!”
Dean:
“Go Sincere!”
Will:
“You’we dispicabew!”
From there, Sincere drags Jason onto the roof of the
car and hits a Sincerely Yours (Pearl River Plunge/ Double Underhook powerbomb)
from the roof of the car onto the bonnet! Jason’s broken body falls to the
floor, completely motionless.
Will:
“I can’t bewieve that Sincewe couwd be so vicious!
Jason must be bwoken in hawf!”
Dean:
“Looks like we’re getting ourselves a new TV Champion
right here tonight on Travesty! There is no way that Jason could compete after
that! Sincere is great! We’ll be right back after this break!”
Will:
“This is tewwibwe!”
Dean:
“Nah! It’s great! But without further ado, we’re onto
our first match… Ah man, it’s Pitfighter and Jake Mackinnon!”
~~~
Extreme Championship Match ~~~
~~~
Pitfighter © V Jake Mackinnon ~~~
“Tattered and
Torn” By SlipKnot blasts through the PA system and out steps Jake
Mackinnon! The fans boo with pleasure
as the new man walks down the ramp to the ring. Suddenly
Pitfighter lays into Jake with a ton of rights and lefts. Pit gets up and pulls
Jake to his feet and hits a textbook style belly-to-back suplex and follows it
up with a pin.
One…
Two…
Jake kicks out at 2.
Dean: One
second from keeping this champion! Jake
just needs to kick ass like always and win the championship back!
Will: If wou wemembew, this is a hawdcowe match!
Dean: Anything goes!
I love these kind of matches!
Will: I have a feewing this is going to be a long battle.
Pit rolls to the outside and grabs a chair while Jake shakes off the effects of
the suplex. Pitfighter comes back in just as Jake is getting on his feet. Pit
takes a shot with the chair, but Jake ducks it. Pit turns around and is met by
a dropkick that plants the chair right in his face. Jake reels back with the chair
and brings it down across Pit’s back with a thunderous slap. Pitfighter flops
to the mat and rolls out to the floor, Mackinnon follows. Pit tries to pull
himself up, just as he turns around Jake swings the chair, but Pit ducks and
Jake meets steel chair with steel post. He drops the chair and turns right
around into a DDT on the mat.
Dean: I hate those DDTs!!!
Will: It shouldn’t feew too good getting hit with one on the
fwoow though!
Jake begins to stir and gets to a knee. Pit bolts in and
hammers Jake with a boot the head and shoulder. However Jake shakes it off and
rampages right towards Pit and spears him into the ring post! Jake smacks his
own head on the steps in the process, which makes for a sickening thud. Pit
gets to a knee and lifts himself up by using the bottom rope. Jake gets on all
fours and starts crawling up the ramp while holding his head.
Will: This match just stawted and I am excited aweady!
Dean: You get amused easily!
Pitfighter brings out the essential hardcore stuff, some
trashcans, a few road signs and a fire extinguisher, but he still searches
until he produces a leather strap from under the ring. Jake is still crawling
and he's about halfway up the ramp when Pitfighter runs up and lashes into him
with a shot across the back with the strap. SNAP!!! Jake twists and turns on
his back as Pit lines up for another shot. Just as he raises the strap in the
air, Jake leans up and kicks Pit right in the soft spot! Pit drops the strap as
he clutches his groin.
Will: OH MAN!! That had to huwt!
Dean: Yeah, that will ruin his weekend. Not like he gets any anyways!
Pit drops to his knees in agony as Jake grabs hold of the strap. Jake gets a
wicked smirk across his face as he walks in front of Pitfighter, marveling at
the leather strap. The crowd begins to stir as Jake lines up Pit and waits for
the right time to swing. Pit turns, still holding the family jewels and...
SMACK!!!
Jake lays into Pit with one hell of a shot. Pit hits the
deck like a ton of bricks, a trickle of blood produces from his back. Pit
brings himself to his feet, while still on the middle of the steel ramp. He
slowly walks up to the stage and entrance area as Jake follows closely behind
him.
Dean: Pit is taking his whooping like a man!
Will: Someone get that stwap thing away fwom him!
Jake rears back for yet another shot, but this time Pit
predicts it and nails his opponent with a boot to the gut. The strap falls to
the ground as Pit gets Jake in a front face-lock. Pit grapples on Jake’s tights
and hits a vertical suplex on the steel. Pit smirks and walks over to the edge
of the stage and plays off the crowd as they cheer madly. Jake gets to his feet
slowly as Pit still messes with the crowd. Jake gets fully up and charges
towards Pit and hits him with a flying cross body block and the two fly off the
stage and crash through a table as well as a bunch of stage and lighting
equipment below!
Crowd: G-Z-W!
G-Z-W! G-Z-W!!
Will: Howy cow!
Dean: MY GOD, these men have gotta be done! That was simply
INSANE by Jake!! A flying cross body that leads Pitfighter and himself right
off the stage and about 9 feet down through a friggin' table!! This is nuts!!!!
The shot pans to Pit and Jake, lying side by side in a heap of rubble, both
busted open.
Dean: OK, to waist time, lets play a Maxx Pain and Baz
promo!
After minutes of passing and anticipation from the crowd,
the two slowly struggle to their feet!
Will: These two awe actuawwy awive!
Jake and Pitfighter are now up! The fans clap, glad to see there will be more. The two then start
to go punch for punch, each trying to keep balance after each receiving punch.
Pit then gets a knee in to the gut of Jake and then grabs him and leads him
back onto the ramp. The two walk up the ramp and go behind the curtain. Pit and
Jake hit the backstage area and Pit whips Jake into a stack of crates. Jake
flies through them as they scatter all over the floor. Pit smells blood like a
shark and follows, but is met with a flying metal crate upside the head.
Will: These two awe puwwing out aww the stops!
Jake follows up and wails on Pitfighter a couple times with
the crate. Jake then grabs a nearby folding table and drags it forward. He
starts digging through some equipment, through various cases and such and pulls
up a small bottle of lighter fluid!
Dean: Alright Jake Mackinnon! Get that wannabe champion Pitfighter!
Jake douses the table in lighter fluid and then tosses the
bottle aside. He heads back over to Pit who is on all fours and nails him with
a few boots the head. Pit drags him over near table. He then pulls a lighter
from the ground, witch he grabbed while getting the fluid.
Will: This couwd defiantwy end someone’s caweew if it
happens!
Jake flicks the lighter and drops it on the table, instantly the thing goes up
in flames!!! The flames reflect in Jake’s eyes while he looks with joy.
Dean: I can't believe what I'm seeing right now!
With the table in flames, Jake sets up Pitfighter for a
powerbomb...
Will: JEESUS!!
Jake tries to lift but Pit drops to a knee and slugs Jake
with a low-blow. Pit gets to his feet and grabs Jake underneath the shoulders
and plants Jake with a spinebuster, putting him through the FLAMING TABLE!!!
Dean: OH MY GOD!!!!! Pit is a sick man! How could he possibly do that!?
Pit slumps to the floor as Jake wriggles about madly and
rolls out of the fire, thankfully not ignited himself. Pit slowly gets on his
feet and leans against the wall to regain balance. Jake crawls around on all
fours, gasping for air as the crushed table still burns his back. Pit walks
over to Jake who turns around and tosses some ashes into his eyes! Pit goes,
trying to get his sight back. Suddenly Jake inadvertently rolls partly into the
fire, setting his pant leg a flame!!
Will: JAKE IS ON FIRE!!!!
Crewmembers of the GZW rush to scene with fire extinguishers
and spray the fire out. Pit pushes them
all away. Jake then quickly hops on top of a huge equipment crate. He stands on top as Pit is distracted with
the staff members. Pit turns around and
Jake comes out of nowhere and hits a spinning leg drop on Pit using his still
hot boot! Jake rolls to the floor. All of a sudden Adam Cage sneaks up behind
Jake and hits him in back of the head with a slap jack knocking him out. He continues to beat the man with the slap
jack. Pit then pushes Adam away and
argues with him. Pit pushes him once
more, but quickly Adam Cage runs back at him and hits Puzzled Solved (Spear) on
Pitfighter! Adam Cage pulls Pit on top of Jake as the ref goes down for the
count.
One…
Two…
Thre…
Dean: Jake kicked out!!!
Will: Adam Cage is
suwpwised.
Adam stands there, eyes wide open! He quickly picks up Jake Mackinnon. He then plants him with Nova (Evenflow DDT) right on crate, used
earlier in the match! He again pulls
Pit on top of Jake…
One…
Two…
Three!!!
Dean: Well, again Adam Cage saves his championship!
Will: I guess Adam
Cage is going to stiww have his match Diamond!
Dean: Pit can’t get the job done, so Adam has to save his
own title. I can’t wait till all of
this is over and we have one champion!
Will: Weww, that was a way to stawt Twavesty!
Dean:
Gotta agree with you on that one. NEXT
MATCH!!!
~~~
Extreme Championship Match ~~~
~~~ Adam
Cage © V Diamond Sledge~~~
"Funky Cold
Madina" by Tone Loc hits the PA. Diamond Sledge walks out from the curtain. He
makes his way to the ring and goes up the steps on to the apron. He stands on
the outside of the ropes waiting for his opponent.
Dean: Look at this slob! Adam Cage shouldn’t have to defend anything
against him!
Adam Cage is nowhere to be
seen. Moments pass and there is a no
show. Suddenly the screen shows
Pitfighter beating down Adam with a chair.
Shot after shot is slammed across Adam’s helpless body. The sounds echo through the halls after the
steel hits flesh. Diamond stands in the
ring and looks at the screen, smiling.
He runs up the ramp to get a quick easy over his opponent. Just before he could go backstage, he starts
to back up. Epic and Eclipse are
standing in his way. Diamond backs up
more, almost tripping over his own feet.
Suddenly Manic takes Diamond out with a steel brief case. The three drag Diamond up and toss him into
the ring. All three go inside and start
to kick him over and over. The fans boo
like crazy. Their boos suddenly turn into cheers as Nathaniel Davis charges up
the ramp, steel chair in hand! He
slides in the ring and hits Eclipse down.
Epic and Manic scurry out and take Eclipse with them. All three men walk up the ramp as they taunt
Nathaniel.
Dean: Why did he have to ruin the fun?
Will: He was saving Diamond! That was unfaiw what they did!
Dean: Nathaniel had no right to…
Will: Just shut up you ovewgwown doof! I am sick of heawing youw cwap! Just shut up and quit going for the side
that are bad, vewy bad!
Dean: (Speechless)
Adam Cage is shown staggering
up the ring. He then rolls into the
ring and the ref rings for the bell.
Nathaniel looks down at Adam and rolls out of the ring. He stands at ringside. Adam Cage and Diamond are both staggering
around the ring, trying to keep balance.
They final regain senses and go at it.
Punches are thrown left and right.
The crowd is now calmed down and ready for the match. Diamond blocks one of the punches and takes
his opponent down with a headbutt.
Diamond shakes his head after hitting it against Adam’s.
Will: Finawwy
thewe is a faiw match!
Dean: (Still
speechless)
Will: What,
just because I towd you off doesn’t mean you don’t have to do youw job!
Dean: I am
not taking attitude from…
Will: Ok, you
wewe bettew quite!
Dean: AHHHH!
Diamond picks up Adam Cage and tosses him into the
turnbuckle. He charges at him and
squashes him in the turnbuckle.
Nathaniel pounds on the mat, rooting for his team-mate. Diamond continues the assault and gives him
a few jabs and a strong uppercut. Adam
Cage falls down and rolls out of the ring.
Diamond rests for a while, then goes back to get Adam. Suddenly a trashcan flies at Diamond’s
head! Adam Cage holds the can in his
hands. The rolls inside the ring and
waits for Diamond to get up. As he
does, Adam places the can over his head, blinding him from every sight. Adam climbs up to the top rope and waits for
Diamond to turn around. He does and
Adam lands beautiful dropkick, denting the trashcan, still over the now
motionless Diamond.
Dean: That
didn’t have to feel too good.
Will: Nope,
but wook who’s coming!
Dean:
Pitfighter is going to help Adam Cage.
GO PIT!
Pit runs down to the ring, chair in hand. He gets inside and motions the chair towards
Diamond and Adam who are now trading blows.
Nathaniel then climbs up on the apron and pulls the chair out of Pit’s
hand. Pit turns around and argues with
Nathaniel. Nathaniel yells back at him. Pit then rolls out of the ring, grabs a
chair, and then gets back in the ring.
Nathaniel jumps up on the apron again, but Pit pushes him back
down. Pit then motions the chair at
Adam’s head. He charges at him, swings,
and turns his motion to hit Diamond!
Pit rolls out of the ring as Adam continues. He then bounces off the ropes, flips and hits…
Dean: Maxx Destruction
(Springboard Moonsault)!!
Will: It is
ovew!
One…
Two…
Three…
Ding Ding Ding!!!
Nathaniel sees Pit staring at the damage and charges
at him, steel chair in hand! Pit runs
quickly up the ramp. Diamond rolls out
of the ring and struggles up outside.
Jake Mackinnon then runs down to the ring, with a fire
extinguisher!!! He rolls into the
ring. Adam turns around and faces Jake. White smoke flies everywhere blinding Adam
Cage. Jake then takes him down the
weapon. He says something unheard and
leaves the ring.
Will: Weww, I
guess that was fow costing him his championship!
Dean: Can’t
win em’ all!
Will: I can’t
wait to see what else we have coming up!
What a show we have had tonight!
Dean: That’s
GZW for ya!
~~~
Commercial Break ~~~
Will:
“Hewwo,
and wewcome back to Twavesty! While you were away, something tewwibwe
happened!”
Dean:
“Actually,
I thought it was pretty sweet!”
Will:
“You
would! Let’s take you back!”
The scene
opens with Mickey “Mouse” Greer about to interview T-Rex in a press suit, but
before a word can be uttered, Maxx Pain storms into the picture wielding a
kendo stick. He blindsides Rex with a vicious blow as Mouse ducks for cover!
With Rex
floored, Maxx lays into him with the kendo stick. Relenting after about ten
blows, he pulls up Rex and hits a chokeslam through the press table! Maxx isn’t
finished, and pulls up the defenceless Rex dragging him towards another table.
He pulls Rex up for what appears to be a Career Ender (Last Ride), but suddenly
Baz bursts in!
Baz:
“Maxx!
What the Hell are you doing?”
Maxx drops
the limp Rex to the floor, and he doesn’t move.
Maxx:
“I’m
ending Rex’s career and improving my chances in the TV title match!”
Baz is
absolutely seething!
Baz:
“Would you
do that to me to improve your chances? WOULD YOU? Well fucking come on and do
it! End someone else’s career and take someone else out before the Battle
Royal! Come on!”
Maxx looks
on in shock.
Maxx:
“I
couldn’t do that to you Baz!”
Baz:
“So why do
it to Rex? You should prove that you can beat him in the ring! Not something
like this!”
Maxx:
“Well I
will… someday!”
Baz looks
disappointed in Maxx, and heads to Rex…
Baz (to
Rex as he holds up three fingers):
“How many
fingers do you see?”
Rex:
“Thursday!”
Baz shakes
his head, and looks up to Maxx.
Baz:
“Well you
aint gonna prove anything tonight! This man is pretty damn concussed!”
{fade}
Will:
“It wooks
wike Wex won’t be in the Battle Woyal now!”
Dean:
“Maxx Pain
looked pretty damn pathetic when he puts his tail between his legs after
Basilchump told him off! Talk about the odd couple! Those two should start a
comedy act!”
~~~ Light-Heavyweight Championship Match ~~~
~~~ ‘Kool
Hand’ Luke Laverne © V Desecrator ~~~
[“It’s Been Awhile” by Staind kicks in around the
arena as Desecrator steps through the curtains and onto the stage with Nicole
close behind him. The crowd gives a
mixed reaction as the two make there way down the ramp. Desecrator leaps onto the apron and
slingshots himself over the top rope.
The music fades out as he paces around the ring.]
[As “The Message” by Mike Peters plays, “Kool Hand”
Luke Laverne steps out onto the ramp with the Light Heavyweight Title around
his waist and the Mooncat by his side.
The two walk down the ramp giving high fives to the crowd. Kool slides into the ring and scales the top
rope. He holds up the title as the
crowd cheers loudly. The music fades as
Kool hands the title to the ref.]
Billy: What a match we have to call tonight.
Jennifer: Two young and upcoming stars fighting for
one title. This match should prove to be interesting.
Kool extends his hand for a shake and Desecrator just
stairs at him with a puzzled look. He
accepts the shake as the two men nod then take to their corners.
Billy: A show of respect there between the two men.
Jennifer: That’s not something you see everyday.
The ref calls for the bell and the two men lock
up. Desecrator gains the upper hand and
throws Kool into the corner then charges in and nails him with a
clothesline. Kool slumps in the
corner. Desecrator stomps away on him
but the ref pushes him back and warns him to ease off.
Billy: Desecrator showing a mean streak.
Kool pulls on the top rope and pulls himself up. Desecrator charges back in but Kool catches
him with a boot to the face. He spins
around holding his face as Kool comes sprinting out of the corner and hooks
Desecrator’s head driving him to the mat with a bulldog. He rolls him over and hooks the leg.
One
Two
Desecrator rolls the shoulder before the ref can call
for the third count. Kool lifts him to
his feet and begins to pound on his lower back. He lifts him up in a delayed suplex position and drops him down
on his head with a brain buster. Kool
makes the cover and hooks the leg.
One
Two
Desecrator kicks out at the last second.
Billy: Close call there.
Jennifer: Desecrator isn’t fairing to well right now.
Kool lifts Desecrator to his feet and goes for a
right hand but he blocks it and nails Kool with a clothesline. Desecrator pulls himself across the ring and
to the corner. Kool gets to his feet
slowly as does Desecrator. The two
charge at each other in the middle of the ring and take each other out with a
clothesline. The ref looks at the two
men before admonishing the ten count.
One
Billy: Both men are laid out after that clothesline.
Two
Three
Jennifer: This match can’t end like this.
Four
Five
Billy: So if the match is a double DQ than who wins?
Six
Seven
Jennifer: No one.
Hence the phrase double DQ.
Desecrator and Kool get to there feet slowly and pace
around each other trying to shake the cobwebs out. Desecrator charges in and spears Kool and knocks him to the
outside of the ring. Desecrator climbs
out of the ring and looks under the apron.
He pulls out a large ladder and slides it into the ring.
Billy: What does he plan to do with that?
Jennifer: Lets just wait and find out.
Desecrator rolls Kool on the Pig Latin table and
begins to pound away on him. He slides
back into the ring and sets the ladder up in the corner. Desecrator backs up and charges at the
ladder running up the front of it. He
reaches the top and leaps off looking for a corkscrew moonsault and nails it
driving Kool through the table.
Billy: Holy cow!
Since when did this match go hardcore?
Jennifer: You got me.
The ref grabs the ladder and slides it out of the
ring before starting the ten count.
One
Two
Three
Four
Billy: Both men are down.
Five
Desecrator gets to his feet first and grabs
Kool. He slides him into the ring and
follows closely making the cover and hooking the leg.
Billy: That has to be it.
One
Two
Kool rolls the shoulder breaking the count. Desecrator slams both his hands down on the
mat in frustration as the ref checks on Kool.
Nicole jumps up on the apron and begins to yell something at the ref and
he immediately looks over at her.
Jennifer: Hey ref you’re supposed to watch the match
not her.
Billy: Can ya really blame him?
Mooncat runs over and pulls Nicole off the mat and
begins to verbally speak her mind while pointing her finger at her. Nicole slaps Mooncat across the face and
begins to speak her mind as well. Kool
and Desecrator both go over to the ropes and try to break the two up but
Mooncat and Nicole rear back and both deliver a right hand to their respective
boyfriends.
Billy: Did you see that? This is great.
Jennifer: What was that all about? They were just trying to help.
Desecrator and Kool step back a few feet holding
their jaws. The two just ignore the two
women on the outside and begin to exchange rights and lefts. Desecrator goes for a right hand but Kool
ducks it and hooks Kool around the waist and nails him with an over the head
belly to belly suplex. Kool goes over
and makes the cover hooking the leg.
One
Two
Desecrator kicks out breaking the count. Kool lifts Desecrator up in a fisherman
suplex position but instead drops him down with a fisherman DDT. Kool makes the cover and hooks the leg.
One
Two
Desecrator rolls the shoulder once again stopping the
count. Kool stands up and out of
frustration shoves the ref down and out of the ring. Kool whips Desecrator across the ring but he reverses it and
whips Kool to the ropes. Mooncat
without looking grabs Kool’s leg causing him to lose his balance. He turns around and yells something at
Mooncat but quickly regains his composure and turns back around to
Desecrator. Desecrator kicks Kool in
the midsection and lifts him up on his shoulder. He smiles before dropping him with “Fifth Dimension.” (Finisher –
Powerbomb to Facebuster)
Billy: That’s it!
Jennifer: There’s no ref to count it though.
Mooncat tries to get in the ring but Nicole stops her
as the ref climbs into the ring slowly.
He sees the cover and begins the count.
One
Billy: We have a new champion.
Two
Jennifer: Maybe not.
Mooncat kicks Nicole in the midsection and slides
into the ring.
Three!
Before Mooncat can break the count up the ref nails
the third count and calls for the bell.
Billy: Holy cow the new guy beat Kool.
Jennifer: This has to be an upset.
Desecrator slides out of the ring clutching the title
close to his chest as Nicole raises his arm.
He walks backwards up the ramp as he points to the title then back at
Kool who is being checked on by Mooncat.
Suddenly El Gambit comes storming down the ramp wielding a steel chair
and nails Desecrator squarely in the back with the chair knocking him onto the
ramp. Nicole covers Desecrator as El
Gambit stands over the two smiling evilly.
He makes his way up the ramp smiling.
Jennifer: What a cheap shot by El Gambit.
Billy: I know…Wasn’t it great?
Jennifer: Give it a rest.
Billy: What?
Jennifer: Never mind. We’ll be right back.
~~~ Tag Team Championship Match ~~~
~~ The
Fierys V What Money Can Buy ~~~
(Dameon
and Hades) (Epic and Eclipse)
Dean: Hey everybody and welcome back to MY show
Friday Night Travesty!
Will: well its GZW’S show!
Dean: pha, they might as well give it to me, because
with out me there rating would be crap... anyway tonight there has indeed been
a travesty I’m not commentating on the main event, thanks to some waster in the
booking office... what the hell do they think they’re playing at, at all?
Will: I’m sure Siu Ann, and Jackie will do a gweat
job!
Dean: ahahaha good joke Will, not as good as I wouwd
do though! But we do have a savoir and that’s that I am involved with the
actual main event match, so all is not lost after all!
Will: such diswespect for your fewwow commentators!
Dean: you ask me they should all bow down and worship
the king of commentating that is I the “Multi-talented One” Deano Fisher!
Will: and pigs can fwy......... anyway onto the next
match which is for the GZW tag-team titwes, and for some reason the Strom
Widers have been stwipped of them!
Dean: now why would someone want to strip them, of
those titles? After all they’re such a great team! But when they get back from
HKWF Winter Warzone, I’m sure they’ll wreak hell on whoever has those titles!
Will: it’s the father and son team of Dameon and
Hades
Dean: *cough* Wasters *cough*
Will: and What Money Can Buy Epic, and Ecwipse!
Dean: WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO what a great team
(“Mr Writer” by the Stereophonics begins to play on
the PA system, and Epic, and Eclipse appear to a chorus of boos from the crowd,
the camera pans into the crowd to a young boy who holds a sign saying “Money
Can’t Buy Respect”. Epic and Eclipse continue to slowly make their way down the
rampway as the curse at the crowd)
Dean: the crowd showing no respect for the real
future of wrestling What Money Can Buy! And Money could certainly buy my
services!
Will: and I don’t think your services are needed!
("Hangnail" By NickleBack suddenly begins
to play on the PA system, and Dameon and Hades emerge at the top of the
rampway, and are met by a good pop from the crowd, they give each other a
double high five at the top of the rampway, and slowly make there way down to
the ring)
Dean: look at these two wasters!
Will: weww they are two pwevious singwes champions
and tag-team champions, and I quite wike there chances in this mach!
(The two teams are in the ring, and begin a stare
down)
Dean: and there’s no more time to waste now so we’ll
get on with the match, and my gweat commentary!
Will: here we go then!
(Epic, and Hades step out of the ring, and referee
Adam Lowe calls for the bell to begin the match, Eclipse and Dameon circle each
other and eventually lunge towards each other, and Dameon gets the better of it
and puts Eclipse into a headlock)
Will: Dameon with the earwy advantage here!
Dean: won’t be for long though there just giving them
a chance to look good, but Epic, and Eclipse would have to do really bad for
them two to look good
(Eclipse pushes Dameon off into the ropes; Dameon
bounces off the ropes, and knocks Eclipse down to the apron with a flying
shoulder barge)
Will: gweat fowwow up by Dameon
Dean: I’m telling you know it WON’T last!
(Dameon waits for a second, and waves to signal for
Eclipse to get up. As Eclipse gets to his feet, Dameon is behind, him and
knocks him back to the mat with a chop to the back of his knee)
Will: Dameon certainwy taking the offence to Ecwipse!
Dean: yea but he’s an old washed up wrestler, he
can’t wrestle for too long without his porridge!
Will: Powwidge?
Dean: yea Old Mans food!
(Dameon, picks Eclipse up by his hair, and whips him
into his corner where he tags in Hades. Hades begins to lay knife-edge chops in
on Eclipse, and as he does the fans chant “WOOOO” as each chop lands)
Dean: Porridge hmmmmm maybe it was Ready Break!
Will: Dean concentwate on the match pwease!
Dean: What! The viewers like to know these things!
(Hades picks him out of the corner, and places
Eclipse between his legs, and picks him up into the powerbomb position, Eclipse
nails a few punches to Hades's head while he’s up on Hades’s shoulders in an
attempt to break free, but to know avail, as Hades brings him down with a
thunderous BOOM on the canvas floor, as Hades makes the cover)
ONE...
Dean: In Hades’s world it’s a smurfsmurf world!
TWO...
Will: HA! Just because he’s known as the big Smurf
(Epic jumps in and breaks up the count, and quickly
slides out of the ring, Dameon enters the ring, in an attempt to get at Epic,
but the referee stops Dameon, and forces him back to his corner, Dameon begins
to argue, and Epic now enters the ring, again, as Hades places Eclipse between
his legs again, but Epic clotheslines Hades to the floor, and set Eclipse up
for a slingshot on Hades that he does to Hades into a turnbuckle, and Epic
rolls him up, Eclipse claps his hands to make a tagging noise, and the referee
turns around to make the cover)
ONE..........
Will: NO another dasterdwy move from What Money Can
Buy!
TWO...
Dean: Pure genius!
THREE...
(Hades kicks out at the last second)
Dean: Damn wish the smurf would just stay down!
Will: he has a name you know Hades, its not Smurf!
(Epic picks up Hades, and whips him into the ropes,
Hades bounces off the ropes, but Epic ducks a second to early allowing Hades to
use his boot, and kick Epic in the face, Epic stands up and Hades tries a clothesline,
but Epic ducks, and counters with a reverse DDT, into a cover)
ONE...
Dean: haha, Epic can even make mistakes and get away
with he’s that damn good! ... Or is it the other way around and Hades is awful?
TWO...
Will: haha Dean! Hades is a twemendous athwete and
used to be our GZW wightheavy weight championship!
(Kickout by Hades)
Dean: another kickout! Why doesn’t that blue idiot
just stay down?
Will: caww me owd fashioned, but I think he wants to
be the tag-team champion again!
Dean: last time they held it... it must have been a
fluke!
(Epic picks up Hades again, and this time takes him
to the nearest corner rams Hades’s head into the turnbuckle twice before
turning him onto his back, and climbing the turnbuckle to give punches to his
head and as he does Epic shouts “ONE........... TWO......... THREE...” as Epic
punches. As Epic goes for a forth punch Hades picks Epic up from the corner,
and drops him with an atomic drop)
Dean: nooooooooo
Will: Hades fighting his way out of it there!
Dean: Hades couldn’t have meant that he must have
sneezed or something!
(Epic curls up into a ball of pain, clutch his
private area, and he rolls around a little, and Hades leaps upwards Dameon, and
makes the tag, Dameon steps in, and the crowd are on there feet know)
Dean: that not cheering there saying BOOOO BOOOOOOOO!
Will: very funny Dean, who did you get that one off?
Some guy from another fed cawwed Pauw Heyman by chance?
Dean: who?
(Dameon picks up Epic, but as he does Epic nails him
with a low blow that the referee fails to see, and Epic counters with a
fame-asser, into a cover)
ONE...
Dean: hahaha is that all it takes to defeat Dameon?
TWO...
Will: he cheated he used a wow bwow!
THREE...
(Hades jumps across the ring, and drops an elbow on the
cover, breaking it up)
Dean: he used a what? I didn’t see anything!
(The referee argues with Hades top get him out the
ring, but Hades is irate that Epic used a low blow, and argues back with the
referee, as he does Eclipse gets into the ring, and Epic, and Eclipse double
team Dameon, they whip him into the ropes and drop him with a flapjack)
Dean: ahahaha that might just be an improvement to
Dameon's face!
Will: anything wouwd be an impwovement to yours!
Dean: oi!
(Epic and Eclipse stay on top of Dameon kicking him
and punching him)
Will: wook at this they’re wike a pack of wowves!
Dean: hey, as long as it works! ...Anyway how would
you know you’re just a ware wolf!
(Epic this time exits the ring, and claps his hands,
and Eclipse makes the cover. Referee Adam Lowe turns around and makes the
cover)
ONE...
Dean: WOOO HOOOOO new champions!
TWO...
Will: not so quickwy Dean, it’s not over!
THREE...
Will: No Dameon has kicked out again! I don’t bewieve
this!
Dean: Well as they say Will, Its not over till the
fat lady sings... so sing Will damnit!
(Eclipse looks at the referee in disbelief, and
Referee Adam Lowe shows two fingers signalling that it was only a two count,
Eclipse smacks the mat in frustration, but goes to pick Dameon up again none the
less, meanwhile on the outside through the crowd comes Manic Depression, who
jumps over the guard rail, pulls Hades off the ring apron and hits a...)
Will: oh my god! Manic Depwession has, just hit
DEPWESSION, on the steaw steps on the outside of the wing!
Dean: as WHAT MONEY CAN BUY could say all for one and
one for all!
(Hades lies motionless on the outside of the ring,
the referee only notices when Manic has crawled under the ring, and the referee
calls for help from the back, as he does Epic, and Eclipse take advantage, and
hit a 3D move, and as they are Manic appears at the other side of the ring,
climbs a turnbuckle, and hits Florida Sunshine (Swanton Bomb)
Dean: FLORIDA SUNSHINE! ...What impact Manic has made
tonight!
(Eclipse rolls over and covers Dameon, as Gideon
comes darting down the rampway, Manic flees through the crowd with Gideon hot
on his heels. Referee Adam Lowe turns around to see Eclipse making the cover,
and he makes the pin)
ONE..........
Will: oh no this is a TWAVESTY!
TWO...
Dean: that's the name of the show!
THREE..........
(DING, DING)
Will: WMCB have just stole another match, and now
have gowd in their camp!
Dean:
judging by this performance it won’t be there last either!
~~~Intercontinental Championship Match ~~~
~~~ ‘Living Legend’ Pimp Bizkit V ‘The British
Butcher’ Union Jack ~~~
Siu Ann Wong:
“Welcome back to Tra…”
Jackie Lee:
“Friday Night Travesty! She’s Siu Ann Wong and I’m
Jackie Lee! Conichuwa!”
Siu Ann:
“I’m not going to say it, but you know what I’m
thinking Jackie!”
Jackie:
“I tell you what I’m thinking about: Steph naked and
in my bed!”
Siu Ann:
“Goodness gracious, if Magic hears that, he’ll punch
your lights out! Anyway, the next match is an Intercontinental Title Match
between the returning Union Jack and the current champion, Pimp Bizkit!”
Jackie:
“I tell you, I LOVE UJ’s new attitude! All that sissy
teaming with Jason Mackavelli… Now he’s back, the REAL British Butcher is back!
Did you see what he did to Pimp’s house? That was extreme!”
Siu Ann:
“That was unforgivable! Union Jack should be locked
up!”
“Breathe” by the Prodigy hits the PA to a huge boo!
UJ struts onto the zerotron, motioning a belt around his waist. He heads to the
ring jeering at the fans.
Siu Ann:
“I’m just wondering how ring rusty Union Jack is
going to be?”
Jackie:
“Not at all! I just wish that he didn’t have to face
Pimp! Two of my absolute favourites taking each other on! I don’t know who to
cheer for!”
Siu Ann:
“Do what you usually do… cheer for the winner!”
“Ya Don’t See the Signs” by Mark B and Blade hits the
PA, and Pimp enters the arena with the IC title strapped around his waist. He
looks intense as he strides to the ring, his usual arrogant strut replaced by
determination!
Jackie:
“Pimp looking pretty focused… maybe I’ll cheer for
him?”
Siu Ann:
“You’re a piece of work Jackie!”
UJ and Pimp stare each other out, but it is Pimp who
goes for a tie up, UJ sidesteps and hits an armbar takedown, but gets up
quickly without applying pressure. As Pimp gets up, UJ flicks the Vs at him!
Siu Ann:
“UJ is looking pretty confident too!”
Pimp charges at UJ who hits an armdrag. Pimp gets up
and charges right into another armdrag.
Jackie:
“Why do wrestlers always get up and get armdragged
twice? Are they all stupid or something?”
Pimp gets up one more time, but instead of running at
UJ, he runs and boots him right in the groin, right in front of the ref! UJ
crumples in agony.
Siu Ann:
“That’s disgusting by Pimp! He’s trying to get
himself disqualified! And belts can’t change by disqualification!”
Jackie:
“Nice tactics!”
The ref severely tells off Pimp, who just laughs in
his face! UJ is writhing in pain on the floor. Pimp pulls up UJ and Irish whips
him into a turnbuckle. From there, he blatantly and viciously chokes UJ with
his foot! The ref starts to count.
1…
2…
3…
Siu Ann:
“At five it’s a disqualification! I hope he’s not
doing what I think he is!”
4…
Jackie:
“Have you thought that Pimp might just be out here to
take out Union Jack after what Jack did to his house?”
5…
6!
The ref refuses to disqualify Pimp, and instead yanks
him off UJ.
Siu Ann:
“Sensible refereeing there! The ref can see that Pimp
is trying to get himself disqualified so that he can retain his title!”
Jackie:
“That’s disgusting! This isn’t an extreme match! It’s
refs like this guy that bring this business down!”
Pimp is arguing with the ref, and pushing him! The
ref is still not disqualifying him! UJ recovers, and sneaks up behind Pimp
grabbing him into a reverse DDT position… he thinks about it momentarily, and
then drops Pimp with a Rock of Gibraltar DDT! (Reverse implant DDT)
Siu Ann:
“Goodness gracious! Rock of Gibraltar! Union Jack
paying tribute to his ex-tag team partner El Gambit! UJ can pin him and this
one’ll be over!”
UJ ascends the turnbuckles and leaps off with a
beautiful Swandive headbutt! (Think Chris Benoit)
Jackie:
“I LOVE that move!”
Siu Ann:
“It’s over! New Intercontinental champion, right
here!”
UJ goes for the cover.
1…
Jackie:
“What were you saying about ring rust?”
2…
The ref is pulled out of the ring by Dean, who’d run
to ringside.
Siu Ann:
“Dean just screwed Union Jack out of the
Intercontinental title! He’s a brave, brave man!”
Jackie:
“Nah, he’s just stupid and shit at commentating!”
UJ looks up and sees what happened. He glares at Dean
and slides out of the ring. He gives chase, and Dean runs around the ring and
up the zerotron. UJ follows, but looks back when he hears the ref counting him
out. UJ glares at him, and returns to the ring.
Jackie:
“What a difficult decision for UJ! Beating up Dean or
staying in the match!”
Pimp is up, and throws a wild right, which UJ ducks.
Pimp spins around and like lightening; UJ grabs his waist and bounces his head
and shoulders off the canvas with a German suplex into a bridge.
1…
2…
Siu Ann:
“Pimp is still woozy! UJ might just have this!”
Kickout!
Siu Ann:
“So close!”
UJ signals that it’s over. He pulls up Pimp and puts
his head between his legs.
Siu Ann:
“He’s going to go for a Jack Hammer!”
But Dean is back in the ring with a steel chair. UJ
pushes Pimp away and readies himself for Dean… but Dean hits Pimp across the
back with the chair! UJ looks on is befuddlement. The ref calls for the bell to
disqualify UJ!
Siu Ann:
“Goodness gracious! I don’t believe it! Dean just hit
Pimp! Dean has turned on his mentor!”
Jackie:
“Pimp wins by disqualification!”
Siu Ann:
“Wait a minute!”
Dean helps Pimp out of the ring, and they hug, before
giving UJ the finger!
Siu Ann:
“That was planned! Dean didn’t turn on Pimp at all!
He just helped him retain the Intercontinental title!”
Jackie:
“Brilliant! What a master tactician Pimp is!”
Siu Ann:
“That was planned all along! What a disgraceful con!”
UJ looks on in disbelief and anger as Pimp and Dean
back up the entranceway jeering at him. Pimp holds up the IC title and point at
it while laughing at UJ. He pushes the ref, and demands that the match be
restarted. The ref shrugs, telling him he can’t!
Siu Ann:
“Union Jack frustrated, and rightfully so!”
Jackie:
“He may be nasty, but he’s just been outsmarted! UJ
looks like a complete idiot: Pimp’s revenge for burning his house!”
UJ is getting angrier… he finally snaps and shoves
the ref’s head between his legs. He underhooks the arms and smashes the ref to
the floor with a Jack Hammer (Pedigree)!
Siu Ann:
“Goodness gracious, he may be angry but there is
never an excuse for hitting a referee! This is a disgrace!”
Jackie:
“UJ is great! Pimp is great! What a great match that
was!”
Siu Ann:
“That was one of the worst matches I have seen in my
entire life! It puts shame upon our business!”
UJ boots the ref for good measure and then heads back
up the rampway fuming. However, the action is not over, as Magic comes running
down the entranceway with a steel chair!
Jackie:
“What’s Magic doing here? He has no business here!”
Magic swings the chair, but UJ ducks. However, Magic
brings it straight back, and hits a glancing blow! From there, Magic hits chair
shot after chair shot on UJ, which slowly but surely sends him staggering right
up to the zerotron.
Siu Ann:
“What brutality from Magic! UJ must have really got
to him last week!”
Jackie:
“This is assault! Magic should be arrested!”
At the top of the zerotron, Magic pulls back the
chair for an almighty chair shot, but UJ catches it and yanks it out of Magic’s
hands. He immediately throws it straight back it him in his face. Magic
instinctively catches it, and UJ hits it with a huge big boot that sends the
steel smashing into Magic’s face. Magic staggers back… right up to the edge of
the zerotron!
Siu Ann:
“Goodness Gracious! Magic nearly fell off the edge!”
UJ isn’t finished! He dropkicks Magic’s chest… and it
sends Magic flying off the edge of the zerotron, falling fifteen feet into a
dumpster below!
Siu Ann:
“Goodness, goodness gracious! Union Jack just
dropkicked Magic off the edge of the zerotron! Magic must be seriously injured!
Union Jack is a vicious, vicious man!”
Jackie:
“Magic started it! He deserves all he gets!”
Siu Ann:
“No-one deserves that!”
With the crowd momentarily silenced by what they just
witnessed, UJ holds up his arms with a sadistic look of pleasure on his face.
The crowd boo vehemently!
Jackie:
“We’ll be right back after this commercial break!”
~~~ Commercial Break ~~~
~~~ MAIN EVENT ~~~
~~~ Television Championship Battle Royal ~~~
Siu Ann:
“You’re back with Siu Ann and Jackie for our main
event! Latest news on Magic is that he has been taken to hospital with a heavy
concussion, but it is too late to say about any more serious injuries.”
Jackie:
“But more importantly, our main even is next… where
we see a new TV Champion crowned!”
Siu Ann:
“Poor Jason Mackavelli is in hospital right now
thanks to Sincere, so he can’t defend the title he has held so long! This is a
sad end to a truly admirable title reign!”
Jackie:
“His run of good luck has finally ended!”
Siu Ann:
“You are so nasty Jackie! I bet you think what Maxx
Pain did was right too?”
Jackie:
“Maxx is great when he does things like that! My
biggest fear is that that goodie goodie Basildon Bond will make Maxx go soft!”
Siu Ann:
“I think Baz is a good influence on Maxx!”
Jackie:
“Whatever Siu Ann… The rules of this battle royal are
simple. To eliminate an opponent, you must throw them over the top rope, and
their feet must hit the floor. The winner, and new TV champ, is the last man in
the ring after everyone else has been eliminated.”
One by one, the wrestlers who declared themselves for
the TV title match head to the ring.
The contenders are:
Nathaniel Davies (Big
cheer for the elusive veteran.)
Maxx Pain (A mixture of cheers and boos
from an audience who still have the jury out.)
Celestia L’yark (Without
Kool, getting a fair cheer.)
Ass Clown (Who gets laughed at as he
heads to the ring… and then his trousers fall down to even more raucous
laughter!)
Gideon (A huge reaction for the
Peacekeeper and ex-HKWF star!)
Happy Sumo (Who appears eating a plateful of
tacos, to a laugh from the crowd.)
Basildon Bond (A
respectable cheer for one so untalented.)
Dean Fisher (A boo, but nowhere near as big a
boo as his mentor would have got.)
El Gambit (A huge boo, which he seems
to positively enjoy!)
Alburt Wuchie (Something of a cross between a
jobber cheer and a genuine one!)
The bell rings and all hell breaks loose! El Gambit
goes straight for Mooncat, and they start duking it out. Meanwhile, Baz and
Maxx double-team Dean in a corner, laying in the boots and then stomping dual
mudholes!
Jackie:
“Hey, Maxx Pain and Basildon Bond are CHEATING! This
isn’t a tag team match! Mind you, it’s nice to see the untalented one get a
beating!”
Siu Ann:
“It’s anything goes in a Battle Royal, Jackie! I just
wonder what’ll happen if the last two men are Basildon and Maxx!”
Jackie:
“Fat chance!”
Meanwhile, Nathaniel and Gideon have teamed up with
Ass Clown to try to get the Sumo over the top rope (think what everyone used to
do with Andre). Sumo flaps about and manages to backhand Ass Clown in the face
with a taco. Ass Clown is blinded and staggers back, flying over the top rope
with the momentum!
Siu Ann:
“Happy Sumo just eliminated Ass Clown!”
Jackie:
“Oh man! What a proper pair of jobbers! And I’m
talking about Gideon and Nathaniel, not Sumo and Ass Clown!”
Wuchie has been cautiously avoiding everyone, and
staying by the turnbuckle. Gideon notices this and gives up his attempt to push
Sumo over the top rope. He strides towards Wuchie who looks on in fear.
Jackie:
“Gideon is about to pulverise Wuchie!”
Meanwhile, Nathaniel is laying in big right hands to
Sumo… he pauses after the third one and hit a HUGE fourth one that sends Sumo
flying over the top rope (think Rock punches)!
Siu Ann:
“Nathaniel Davies eliminates the Happy Sumo!”
Gid is stomping a mudhole in Wuchie, as Maxx lifts up
Dean in a gorilla press. Maxx slowly walks towards the side of the ring to
throw him out, but as he tries to do so, Dean wriggles out and grabs Maxx’s
head on the descent slingshotting him and then sliding back in under the bottom
rope.
Jackie:
“How Dean got out of that I’ll never know!”
Basildon meanwhile charges at the still brawling Lez
and El Gambit. He leaps in the air and goes for a flying forearm to the back of
El G’s head. El G ducks and Lez gets it right in the face!
Siu Ann:
“Goodness gracious! I think Baz was going for El
Gambit but hit Mooncat!”
Jackie:
“Who cares? You gotta eliminate everyone! There’s no
friends in a battle royal!”
El G takes advantage of Baz’s shock and hoists him
over the top rope!
Jackie:
“There goes Basildon Bond!”
Baz is fuming outside the ring, but heads to the
back. Meanwhile, Gideon has Wuchie in a gorilla press position, but Wuchie
fights his way out and hits a low blow on Gid. As Dean gets up, Maxx hits him
with a huge clothesline that sends him flying over the top rope.
Siu Ann:
“Maxx Pain eliminates Dean Fisher!”
Jackie:
“Quite what the untalented one was doing in there, I
don’t know!”
Mooncat gets up and heads for Nathaniel Davies. She
boots him in the stomach, and then tries to throw him over the ropes. He
resists however, and she gets a series of elbows to the face, followed by a
bulldog!
Jackie:
“Stop pretending you’re a wrestler Lezzy, and get
back to the kitchen!”
Siu Ann:
“Lez will so kick your ass if she watches the repeat
of this show!”
Maxx Pain and Wuchie join hands and charge at Gid
with a double clothesline that eliminates the Japanese star, flipping over the
top rope. Maxx immediately betrays Wuchie and hits him with a short
clothesline.
Siu Ann:
“Great teamwork from Maxx and Wuchie!”
Jackie:
“Even better double cross by Maxx!”
Maxx and El G start to lay the boots into the fallen
Wuchie. Nathaniel meanwhile blocks a right hand from Lez and hits an urinage
(rock bottom) on the Egyptian wrestler.
Siu Ann:
“Owy, owy, ow! Lez gets crushed with a urinage from
Nathaniel!”
Maxx meanwhile grabs El G and drops him with a DDT!
He then charges at Nathaniel who anticipates this and hoists him over the top
rope… but Maxx lands on the apron and quickly hits a thumb to the eye. With a
look of relief on his face, Maxx re-enters the ring.
Jackie:
“That was a close one for Maxx Pain!”
El G and Wuchie are up, but woozy. Nathaniel and Lez
take advantage and charge at them. Lez eliminates Wuchie; Nathaniel eliminates
El G: both with synchronised clotheslines!
“Siu Ann:
“El Gambit and Wuchie are gone!”
Maxx takes advantage of Nathaniel and Lez’s backs
being turned, and hits them both from behind with clotheslines. Nathaniel is
staggered, but Lez goes flying over the top rope.
Jackie:
“Out goes Lezzy!”
Siu Ann:
“Goodness Gracious! The last two men are Nathaniel
Davies and Maxx Pain! One of these men will be the new TV champion!”
Jackie:
“If Maxx can dump that chump Basildon, he’ll make a
worthy TV champion!”
Nathaniel and Maxx glare at each other, neither
wanting to make the first move. Meanwhile, outside the ring, an embittered El G
takes it out on Lez, dropping her with a Rock of Gibraltar on the outside of
the ring. Incredibly, Wuchie makes the save before any more damage can be done!
El G chases Wuchie up the entranceway!
Siu Ann:
“El Gambit is such a vicious man! He should take
losses like a man, not a little boy!”
EMTs come running to help out Lez.
Jackie:
“See what I mean about her staying in the kitchen!”
Siu Ann:
“Shut up Jackie! She got further than you would have
done!”
Meanwhile, in the ring Nathaniel bounces off the
ropes and hits a clothesline that rocks Maxx. He bounces off again, and hit
another huge clothesline that rocks him more heavily.
Siu Ann:
“Trying to knock down Maxx pain is like trying to cut
down a tree!”
Nathaniel bounces off the ropes again, but gets
caught around the throat by Maxx!
Jackie:
“Pain is looking for a chokeslam!”
But Nathaniel breaks out with a reverse elbow. With
Pain staggering back, Nathaniel hits a drop kick that finally fells the big
man! Nathaniel immediately tries to capitalise and pulls up Maxx and sets him
up in a suplex position. Maxx however, blocks and knees Nathaniel in the
stomach, hard!
Siu Ann:
“Owy, owy ow! Nathaniel will be winded for days after
that knee to the stomach!”
Maxx capitalises and pulls Nathaniel up into a
powerbomb position. From there he lifts him high in the air above his head and
smashes him down with a huge Career Ender Powerbomb! (Last Ride)
Siu Ann:
“Goodness, goodness gracious! Maxx Pain really did
just show Nathaniel the real meaning of pain!”
With Nathaniel beaten, it is child’s play for the 7
feet tall Maxx to manhandle him, and throw him over the top rope, leaving Maxx
alone in the middle of the ring!
DING DING DING!
Siu Ann:
“Our new GZW TV Champion: MAXX PAIN!!!”
Jackie:
“A relatively worthy champion, as long as he dumps
the chump tag partner!”
Maxx is presented with the TV title belt as “My Way”
by Limp Bizkit plays over the PA: the look on his face is of pure joy! He
celebrates in the ring, holding the belt high in the air!
Jackie:
“Boy! Maxx looks like he’s happy!”
Siu Ann:
“Wouldn’t you be?!?!”
Suddenly, “One Step Closer” by Linkin Park hits the
PA!
Siu Ann:
“That’s Adam Cage’s music!”
Sure enough Adam Cage breaks the party and strides
onto the zerotron with a mike in one hand and the extreme belt in the other. He
signals for the music to be cut.
Cage:
“So the new TV Champion is Maxx Pain? Well the TV
title is for monkey asses who aren’t extreme enough to fight for MY title!
Pain, you’re a chicken shit piece of crap who knows he can only win a small
time belt like that when Adam Cage has the Extreme title!”
Maxx is fuming and demands a mike, which is thrown to
him.
Maxx:
“I AM the GZW TV champion! I finally have gold around
my waist, and I back down to no one! How about my first title defence is right
here, right now to Adam Cage?”
The crowd cheer wildly in support!”
Maxx:
“But how about it’s an extreme match and Cage puts
his Extreme title on the line as well! I will take your damn belt, and end your
damn career if you have the balls to take me on Cage… what do you say?”
Cage looks to the left, looks to the right… and then
runs to the ring!
Siu Ann:
“Goodness gracious! An Extreme and TV title match is
on between Adam Cage and Maxx Pain!”
Jackie:
“Maxx and Cage going at it, this is gonna be brutal!”
The befuddled ref looks on, shrugs, and signals for
the bell to be rung!
Siu Ann:
“This is an official match! Goodness gracious!”
Cage slides into the ring, right into a big boot from
Maxx. Maxx pulls him up, and drops him with a running DDT!
Siu Ann:
“Goodness gracious! I think Pain want to keep a hold
of his TV title!”
Maxx pulls Cage up into a powerbomb position!
Jackie:
“Career Ender coming up!”
But Cage lays in the punches and Maxx releases the
hold. Cage boots him in the stomach and then hits an X-Factor!
Siu Ann:
“What a move! This could be all over!”
Cage with the cover, but only gets a two count. He
pulls up Maxx and sends him through the top and middle ropes. From there, he
waits for Maxx to get up, and then hits a springboard moonsault from the inside
to the outside!
Siu Ann:
“High risk moves from Adam Cage!”
Jackie:
“High risk looks fancy, but against Maxx Pain,
they’re just plain stupid! If he catches you, you’ll know about it!”
With Maxx laid out, Cage goes under the ring and
pulls out a trashcan. He proceeds to beat Maxx with it. Finally he relents, and
lays it down. He pulls up Maxx and boots him in the stomach, the goes for a
Nova (flowing DDT), but Maxx pushes him off… right onto the trashcan!
Jackie:
“After a brief flurry from Adam ‘should be put in a’
Cage, Maxx Pain back in control.”
Maxx hits a swinging neckbreaker onto the trashcan!
He gets up slowly, but suddenly…
Siu Ann:
“What is Union Jack doing here?”
UJ runs to the ring and smashes Maxx in the back of
the head with a steel chair! Maxx falls to the floor. As AC gets up, UJ smashes
him around the face with the chair, and he too goes flying!
Jackie:
“I like Maxx, but I LOVE Union Jack!”
UJ drops the steel chair to the floor, and grabs AC.
Moments later, UJ drops AC with a Jack Hammer (pedigree) onto the steel chair!
Siu Ann:
“This is yet another disgusting display from Union
Jack! He should be banned!”
UJ then pulls up Maxx, and drops him with a Jack
Hammer onto the trashcan!
Siu Ann:
“Union Jack needs to be stopped!”
UJ grabs a mike, and as the crowds boo loudly, he
talks over them.
UJ:
“Hello to all my fans! Just to reiterate what I said
last week, I am fucking Union Jack and this is MY damned federation! If I
decide that I want to hurt some people, I will! This pathetic little feud
between Maxx Pain and Adam cage is NOTHING compared to the honour of being
annihilated by the British Butcher. I am the Menace and I will strike who I
like, when I like. This is my one man wrecking mission, and it’s only just
started!”
He picks up the Extreme and TV title belts, and walks
up the entranceway. When he reaches the zerotron, he lifts them both up with
one hand and talks into the mike with the other.
UJ:
“I’ll take these, as I deserve them much more than
either of those two losers!”
With Maxx and Cage not moving, UJ heads to the back.
Basildon and Paul (Cage’s friend) come running down to tend to their friends.
Siu Ann:
“Goodness gracious! I can’t believe that Union Jack
has not only brutalised Maxx Pain and Adam Cage, but has stolen their title
belts as well! Someone needs to stop Union Jack!”
Jackie:
“But who can? There is no one in GZW capable of
stopping the onslaught of the Menace! Where are the heroes?”
Siu Ann:
“That’s all we have time for on Travesty! Catch us
next week: same time same place!”
Jackie:
“Sayonara!”