Attention Deficit Disorder

Dylexia

Language Based Learning Disabilities

Delayed Learning Skills

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Learning Disabilities: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

Mr. A. shakes his head and chimes in,"Jim got by on his basic intelligence, good looks, all charm all the way through high school. He was a good looking kid, everyone liked him, so he got a least C's and sometimes B's without so much effort. We knew he was a capable of more and so did his teachers. Together, over the years, we reinforced our belief that Jim's medicore performance was the result of his own willful decision to goof off. We all fell into 'blame the victim' trap. When he got to college, he discovered that the old charm didn't impress his professors."

"Well," Ms. M. interjects,"I knew Susan was falling behind her classmates by the time she hit fourth grade, but we could never get any help for her in school. They said she didn't qualify -- she was not far enough behind for special help. I still get so angry when I think about it. What kind of nation are we anyway if we accept the idea that a child has to fail and feel miserable before she can get help?"

"And," Mrs.Q. asks,"what are we thinking when we let students go on from grade to grade without ever asking them to meet any reasonable standards? I think we are failing our children , actually being dishonest, when we let them think that they can go through life with littke effort and poorly develop skills. According to Dick, he never had more than twenty minutes of homework to do; he certainly never spents more time than that. He never had to write essays--which is just as well, since no one taught his the basics of writing. But Dick got decent grades. He thought, and so did we, that he was an okay student. It wasn't until he got to college that he found out that he couldn't hack it. He didn't know how to study, his reading was at an eight-grade level, his writing and spelling were awful. It was a real blow to his ego-- and to ours, too -- to find out we had all been living in never-never land for twelve years. We've got to start being honest with ourselves and with our children."

Ms. M. reenters the conversation. "I can see that your Dick and my Susan have different problems. I want to cry when I think of how hard Susan tried for so long, even when everyone was telling her she'd do fine if she'd just work harder. By the time she got to high school, she stopped trying. I think she figured that if no one believed that she was trying, there was no point in continuing. She concentrated in being popular, and because she was so agreeable, she managed to scrape by. But she often put herself down, saying she was just not a good student, that she was pretty stupid in school."

Mr.T.,the policeman from a Boston suburb, has been waiting for a chance to jump into the discussion. "You know, I am having a hard time listening to all. My son has been filled with rage since he was in elementary school. He was always being sent to the office because he was disrupting class. Of course, he never finished his work. Once when he was being discipline, he jumped out the window in the principal's office. My wife and I practically lived at school. He had a couple of great teachers who really cared about him and tried to help him and us, but none of us really had a clue about what he needed. I was ashamed that my son was acting like a child from a home where no one cared."

These voices of pain express the suffering of loving parents who, consciously or not, realistically or not, often see themselves at the root of their children's failures. Many of you may have similar stories to tell.

Mrs. Z. ended the session on an upbeat note: "Whatever has happened in the past, we can't change. But we can influence the future of our children for the better. All of us know that there are reasons why bright students perform poorly in school. What I have learned over the past seven years is that my son can learn and can be successful. What he needs is teachers who are consistent, demanding, and thorough, and who understand the ways he learn best."

*Adapted from Learning to LEARN : Carolyn Oliver and Rosemary F.Bowler Pg 11- 14

Auther's Note: Dear reader, if you wish to share any similar experiences and have posted it on this website, please email it to h-tere@mailcity.com.