I knew Gord from the seventh grade.He was in my class.But we were not friends in those days.Some time we would play together with other class mates,thats all.After my high school graduation, I went for political science and he went for science at the beginning and then changed his side and joined commerce. I was a very popular student in the campus.Very extrovert with leadership qualities.I had a very large friend circle.I was also practising Martial arts,which has added to my popularity. I had a hoby of moving in to different differnt groups.Funny thing was normaly group 'A' wouldn't know that I am associated with Group'D' and so on.
I used to hang with one group which was much into spritualism. I met Gord there.He was a regular.I had couple of friends in that group who were also practicing Martial arts with me and we had a good rapport .Gord was leaving in the neighbourhood of one of that friend.I somehow had oraganizing skills.I would club many different group friends into a new group where all would have common interest.I have formed this new group where we were around ten friends.Almost everyone was from different faculty but the common interest was sociological issues,spirtual issues,music,nature watching and books and literature. We would chat on phone,meet in a cafe',go to country side,spend our weekends camping etc.We would have very heated discussions on many controversial issues.We would discuss anything from democracy to commuinism.Nobel winner classics to porn.Urban life,rural life. Philosophy,Psychology,science,fine arts,world politics,local politics.Any thing.In a way that was a age to find the meaning of life.I started getting more known to Gord.I found him a very sincere,honest and a kind of innocent guy.He was quite funny at times but still there was a seriousness in his personality.He was plump when were in school but became quite proportionate in his post high school days.He was a kind of big guy.Around 5'11'',200lbs,green eyes,dark brown hair,medium nose,thin lips,round face and a pale white complexion.He had a quite visible mole on his left cheek.Lot of nice looking girls would attract to him but he was very shy with them.He was still a virgin.We had four female freinds in the group.But Gord would keep distance from them.He was more open to the guys than gals.However I didn't notice any gay tendencies in his behaviour.He was quite straight in his prefrences but never practiced any.His main interest was in Eastern relegions and yoga etc. I was associated with eastern philosophy through martial arts but that was it.I was more over a western thinker.I never believed in reincarnation and that kind of stuff and neither I was interested much in to that.But Gord would always bring those issues in any philosophical discussion and would get emotional over it.I would just laugh at him for his too much involvement into the serious nature of the life and its meaning.I was a very light hearted guy with a zest to live the life to its full extent.I would argue on certain flaws in eastern philosophy with my own logic and leave it alone after the discussion is over.I wouldn't think about it once I leave the group.But Gord would keep on thinking over it and bring something up by calling friends even at midnight.His seriousness would always amused me.I would make a fun of his virginity in group and he would withdraw.I was more aggressive in the group when it would come to a physical fight.May be because of my martial arts skills and regular work out at gyms.But Gord was a kind of timid when it would come to a physical fight with any one.He would only scream or yell at others but would not raise his hands.
Eventually we all became busy in our goals,career etc.I joined a law college.Cindy joined Medical,Rob joined Electronics.Steve joined computers.Jennifer joined microbiology and so on.Almost everyone had a different schedule.We couldn't meet in a large group anymore.I could meet some of the members practically once in a while.But we were in touch with each other.I wasn't meeing Gord as often before.Just once in a couple of months etc.One day,Rob and Gord came to see me in my Law school.They had something serious to discuss.Gord just bombed on me with a news that he wanted to commite suicide.I was shocked.First I thought it was a kind of joke.But Rob also convinced me the seriousness of Gord's intent.I remembered we used to discuss sometimes on suicide in genral as a group chat. I was not much in touch with him and couldn't understand why and how he reached that decision.I only gave him much encouragement which certainly relieved him from his tension.I later discussed with Rob about him.Rob told me that Gord was in love with some chick with ethnicity and eastern background.She refused to date with him and asked him to see her parents instead.For a permission etc.And that has changed his life.He couldn't understand the concept of meeting her parents for permission to date etc and gone depressed.He also saw a shrink but that has only added to his confusion.He was on medication for depression.He had lost lot of weight.He became a total vegan.He quit smoking and alchol also.And he wanted to end his life.I felt really sorry for Gord.Even though I were busy in my studies and other activities,I started giving more time to him.I felt real sympathy for him.He was my classmate from the seventh grade afterall.Even though we had totally different peronalities,there were some common interest in us.We both liked nature.We both had a feeling for economically challanged class.We both felt the same way for weak and poor and the social injustice.Gord had some eastern reasoning for it as a Universal law of cause and effect or a law of Karma,which justifies the suffering but still he would feel for them.And I would react more aggressively or strongly aginst it.as I didn't had any such base in my thinking.For me,it was just a discrimination or a supression.It was a vicious circle in which the poor were victimized .Any way, I started visitng his home and talk to him all positive things in the life.He also started visitng my place often.We developed a good rapport. My influence has brought quite positive changes in him.He started laughing again.But still I could notice a kind of gloominess in his laughter.I started cutting down my drinking and turned into a vegetarian due to his influence.Though not a vegan like him.Rob would also give much of his free time to him.Eric who had started a small business also got involved into Gord's life.We four friends would meet quite often.Rob,Eric and myself had a understanding that we got to pull Gord out of his shell and make him a normal guy.
My final examination was almost a month away.So I became more busy in my studies and couldn't give much of my time to other three friends.Also I couldn't think much about Gord and his problems.I made it clear to him that I need to focus on my studies for last month and wouldn't be able to meet him or other friends as before.My examination was almost a week away and one evening,Rob,Eric and Gord visited my library to see me.They told me that Gord's shrink has asked him to go for camping as a change with his best friends and he wanted me also to just spend one day with him.I couldn't believe it.My examination was just a week away and these good friends were asking me to go for camping on a weekend.I was caught up in a dilemma.I almost made up my mind to refuse the proposal but Rob convinced me to spend just one day for Gord.I finally agreed and we decided to go to the mountains for a day.The mountain range was not much far from the city.It was around fifty miles away.We decided to go by train instead of driving,as the idea was to stroll throughout the day.
We caught the morning train and reached the destination around 8:30am.Our return train was at 5:30pm.We had some snacks at a patio close to railway station and bought some beers,sandwitches,etc to carry with us.It was a cool morning.The atmosphere was foggy.Seemingly rainy.We started walking towards the valley.The area was surrounded by mountains and vallies.Land was almost 18000 feet above the sea level.Nature was really beautiful.Everything was magical.Beautiful small falls were falling from the heights in the valley.Almost every hundred feet,and it was quite a spectacular view.Vallies were all green.We could see small cottages far down.Valley would fill with mist at a moment and next sec. it would be transperant and the green grass,trees would look like a dream created by some Artist.I praised the Creator of the world in my mind like anything.I was lost in thoughts wondering the true natural beauty of the Nature.Nature takes you close to divine,spritual thoughts.Almost to all.We kept on strolling,chating some times.I noticed that Gord was more quite and we three were chatting,laughing,cracking jokes but he was almost withdrawn.He was staring at the depths of valley where ever we went.We would sit close to a new valley after a considerable walk and try to rest,but Gord would keep on looking,bending,walking behind us.As if he was calculating something.Eric told Rob and me not to pay much attention to Gord and avoid him purposely.I disagreed.I told him that we came here specially for him and it's not a good idea to neglect him.But Eric was kind of adamant in his view.He was of the openion that Gord should be left alone for a while.He is pampered a lot etc.and Rob would also agree to Eric.I somehow was not comfortable to Eric and Rob's attitude,but had to co operate to their plan.We started neglecting Gord for next couple of hours.
We were pretty away from the railway station.It was almost three hours walk.I asked all to head towards station.We had few beers each so far.Gord had only one as he had his medication.He was bit drowsy,however looked bit relaxed.He was trying to yell,scream but still there was a lack of energy in to it.We had to take a short cut to save the time.On our way we saw a big water fall at a distance.It used to run only between spring and Autumn.It was a real spectacular scene.Water was looking milky from distance.Down was a deep vally.The water fall was surrounded by green wild grass and small larger trees.They were looking valvet green from a distance.It was the best spot we ever seen in that area.The Water was flowing between two broad parellel rocky walls and straight falling down in the valley from almost 18000feet.Rob and Eric had came out with an idea to visit that spot from where the water was falling.We still had time.Somehow Gord was reluctant to go to that spot.I was also not in much favour to vist but at the same time there was some kind of mangent to that spot which was pulling us there.I convinced Gord along with other two to visit that spot.We all started heading towards the spot.
Suddenly the atmoshphere became more foggy.A small sprakling rain added to the fog for five min.We removed our shirts and kept on walking,singing,dancing.Gord was trying to participate in our joyful mood.We kept on walking for another half an hour and then finally located the stream of water side the main road which was turning west north by ninty degrees.Eric's guess was that was the same stream turning in to that spectacular fall we have seen from other side of the valley.Gord was nervous as still no one was sure if that was the same fall and also we were running out of time.Only an hour and half was left to get the return train and it was at least an half hour walk from the point where we were.Gord started insisting that we should better walk towards the station as he didn't wanted to miss the train.He still walked again two/three min.from the by pass towards west along the side of stream and finally declared that he didn't want to walk any further.Eric was very upset and started getting mad at him.Rob was trying to calm down Eric.I intervened and asked Eric to proceed further on his own and come back after his adventure was over.I told him that I would accompany Gord untill he comes back and he can take Rob along with him.Rob was happy about my suggestion and proceeded with Eric to have a look at what was ahead. I sat on a nearby rocky stone to Gord.We didn't talk any thing for next couple of min.Gord was lost in some thoughts looking at the flowing stream.Finally I asked him what he was thinking.He just answered nothing much.He little bit criticized Eric and Rob about their irresponsible decision of going ahead when the time was short etc.I asked him if he was relaxed today and if he is ok.He just nodded and kept on looking at watch.I told him if Eric and Rob don't come in next five min.we would just start walking towards station.And let them join us later etc.He seemed more relaxed when I said that.Shortly Rob yelled from the distance at us.He was practically running.He came and told us that it was the same stream turning in to a fall and the fall was not that far.It would take only five to ten min.to reach there and come back after viewing it.He described how beautiful view it was from the side of fall and we should not miss that etc.Gord straight refused to see or walk .In the mean time Eric also came back.He was also very cheerful and praising about the view from the cleft etc.Rob insisted that at least I must see it and only we both would visit that spot.Eric asked us to proceed.I argued that it may take more time and we need to proceed towards station well in time.But Rob promised me that it wouldn't take much time if we just rush and also told me that I should not miss the chance to see the magic of Nature etc. as the valley is really looking like a dream valley due to light fog etc.Finally I joined Rob and left Eric behind to accompany Gord.
We reached to the fall shortly,and I was in almost heaven.The view was really undescribable.It was looking like a paradise. Atmosphere was filled with some magical,mysterious waves.I could see even far away road at the west north from where we viewed the fall.And now we were at the fall looking at the other side.Deep down was a vast valley.A beutiful valley with lot of trees,small cottages at a far distance.Even we could hear some communication between countrymen in a low tone from far distance. Everything was looking magical.Mysterious.I kept quite for a min.just amazed and still.Then I came into my senses and thanked Rob for bringing me there.Rob said Gord is really screwed up to miss such a grand scene.We walked ten,fifteen meters by the side of cliff to view the valley from various angles.At one point we stopped.That was the most stiff point.It was like a rectangular point from where the whole valley and all the sides were visible.It was straight deep down and the stream was just falling down from couple of feet.I just peeped down and felt like a vertigo for a sec.Rob was exactly behind me.I told Rob that that is really a scary point and he should have a look down from it.Rob went ahead and looked down.He also shivered like me.We both agreed that it was the most perfect point for suicide and if any one jumps from there would go straight up.I also mentioned that it was good that Gord had not come here otherewise he would have been tempted to jump from this point.We stood their quite for a min.or two looking around.And we heard voices.It was Eric and Gord walking towards us.After we left,Eric somehow convinced Gord to join us and brought him with him.We all cheered for Gord.
Suddenly Gord's mood was changed after he viewed the valley and surrounding.He looked startlingly confident.It was amazing to see the change in him.No would have believed that it was the same Gord who was shaky,gloomy,depressed,self absorbed,kinda schizophrenic almost all the time.He looked extreamly cheerful.His eyes were brightened.He screamed with joy and kept on walking to view the valley from different angles.We all three friends were happy that at last Gord was looking really happy.The stream was divided around ten meters from the falling point and again joining together around three meters from where it was going straight deep down.We still had time to catch the train.But now Gord was not talking about it.He told us that he would like to spend more time there and it wouldn't matter if we miss the train.Now it was our time to get surprised.After all we went out of city just for him.Rob and Eric sat at the other side of the stream where it was split with their legs in flowing water.With their back towards us.I also removed my Shoes and sat west side of the stream with my legs in the water.I felt really refreshed.I asked Gord to relax by removing his shoes and sit with legs in to the water.He sat three to four feet behind me.I just lay down thinking that Gord is safe and would be sitting with his legs in to the water.I closed my eyes.I must have been laying down for a min.or two like that and suddenly I started getting a kind of premonition. I saw Gord in my vision close to the same spot where Rob and myself were ten min.ago.The spot to suicide.I opend my eyes and looked behind.Gord was not behind. I looked at the cliff and he was there.Walking,looking down,moveing four five feet here and there. I was shocked.I saw him there with my closed eyes and he was really there.He was almost close to that spot. I yelled at him by his name.He looked at me.He stared at me for almost five sec.There was something weirdness in his look. I read something in his eyes which is beyond my capacity to express in the words. I understood.Surprisingly he also understood that I understood and gave me a very meaningful and a kind of surprise look that hey I admire your understanding.I asked him without speaking if he had a plan to go and he gave me a yes answer through his eyes.It took at least couple of sec.for me to come into my right senses. I yelled loudly at Eric and Rob asking them to pay attention to Gord.They both were not even aware that he was on a cliff.Eric shouted loudly at Gord. What the heck you are doing there. Are ya crazy etc.Come here. But Gord just waved at him,then at Rob and then at me. Took out his watch, then wallet from the pocket kept them on the ground,run four to five feet and jumped from the suicide spot straight down .....straight up. Sign Guestbook View Guestbook Old Guest Book Entries .