Christmas Tales

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the apartment, you could hear the wind howling like a banshee in torment!
I sat at the computer typing emails in prose, while supper time's chiles ran away with my nose.
The kid's room has been quiet for the past half an hour, they tend to be sleepy when their TV has no power.
My wife was in the bedroom wrapping a present for me, hers was already sitting under the tree.
When in the upstairs apartment there arose such a clatter, my wife came out running to see what was the matter.
The curses we heard (clearly not from a tyke), indicated someone had tripped stepping over a bike.
The dog wanted out and since I was still dressed, I walked her around and then cleaned up her mess.
I glanced up at the sky, the stars shining bright, it definitely would not snow at anytime that night.
The temperature hovered somewhere near 60, with forecasts saying next week it might drop to 50.
Having grown up in Jersey and remembering snow, made this years Christmas a memory low.
But shoveling snow is very hard work, and driving in snow brings out most people's jerk.
So Christmas these years I'll be toasty and dry, enjoying the view of the mountains nearby.
I hope that your Christmas and your New Years too, are a happy occasion with skies that are blue.
This rhyme is now over, this ending seems right. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

About a week before Christmas my wife and I went out and bought a tree. This was our first Christmas out in AZ, we had never seen Flocked Christmas trees before. The salesman took time to explain to us that the white coating on the trees my wife liked was called flocking, and it was put on the trees to both simulate snow and fireproof the tree.

Being bored with the process of buying a tree, I decided to have a bit of fun. I asked the salesman if the tree had been sprayed from the bottom to the top. When he said yes, I said, "This tree is flocked up!" This brought a smile to the salesman's face. I then exclaimed, "Doesn't that mean, those white stains on your jeans are cum from the tree? How does that happen when the tree won't have any balls until it gets to someone's house?" With the man still in shock, my wife made an effort to get out of there quickly by saying, "We'll take this one."