| april 17. 2002 alright today was just one of these god damned days. but i cant blame anyone but myelf. i just cant finish all my make up work which really sucks cause its making me miserable. but that isnt the only thing contributing to my anger. i think im just turning into one of those angry people...god i never thought that could happen but it has and now i have to face the challenge of over-coming it. sometimes i think i act to old for my own good. i dont know where it comes from. i just feel out of place sometimes becuse of it, like i dont belong with girls my age. whatever. i hung out with katie today. we went to red bank and just hung out. it was so nice to listen to her problems.. im almost always talking about my own and its stupid..everything shouldnt revolve around me. so it was strange today when i was laying out in the sun..i lapsed into this deep train of thought like an almost-dream but not fantasy ..only i was having someone elses thoughts...it was someone i know..and i came across that persons mind and in that moment i just felt like a little piece of someone elses life, and i didnt like the way i came across...just like one of those blah people that people know but dont really care about...it pissed me off. oh no more anger. im like stuck in one of those life ruts and its like the more i slack off and the angrier i get the harder it is to get out...obviously right? i ve been so edgy lately i think i just need to get cought up in school and ill feel alot better. |