| One thing we have learn through the years to laugh about our self's, and learned to enjoyed life as it is presented to us through bad and good times it helps us get by, So enjoy and have fun. |
| This Bud's For You Boudreaux and Kymon were fishing in Catfish Lake when they saw a corked bottle floating by the boat. "Dere's something in dat bottle, yeah," said Kymon. "Whatchu tink it is?" "May ah don't kno but ahm sho gonna find out in a hurry, me," answered Boudreaux. Boudreaux scooped the bottle out of the water and pulled out the cork. There before him appeared a genie. Boudreaux was startled. "Sha, Lawd. Who you are, you?" asked a visibly shaken Boudreaux. "I am a genie and I will grant you one wish - anything your heart desires," responded the genie. "Maaaaay, ah taught dem genies is posta grant teree wishes, me. How come ya only give one, you?" inquired Boudreaux suspiciously. "Well, you see. I am an apprentice and am learning how to be a full-fledged genie. So the Master Genie only allows me to grant one wish to see how well I do. Therefore, I will give you anything you ask," said the genie. Boudreaux and Kymon went into deep thought trying to take full advantage of this golden opportunity. After awhile Boudreaux said, "Ah kno wat, me. Ah wanchu ta turn all da wata in dis lake ta Budweiser beer." "Haaaaaw yeah, dat's a good idear, sha!" exclaimed Kymon. "All da beer we want and fo' free, too!" "Very well," said the Genie, "your wish is my command." And with the snap of a finger - poof! - as far as the eye could see, all the water turned into Budweiser beer." "It don't git no betta dan dis, non, sha!" exclaimed Kymon. "Yeah ya rat, Kymon," said Boudreaux. "But ah tink we mita mess up, us." "May watchu mean, you?" asked Kymon. "Sha Lawd, now we gotta pee in da boat!" explained Boudreaux |
| Silent Shots Boudreaux and Shawee were fishing in Catfish Lake when they encountered trouble with the motor. They tried everything they knew but it still wouldn't start. Looking around, they saw no other boat in sight to lend assistance. "You kno wat?" said Shawee. "Ah wuz always told, me, dat if ya have some trouble wit yo boat dat you jis shoot teree times in da arr and wait. Den somebody gonna come quick, quick." "May we kin try dat, yeah," said Boudreaux as he fired three shots in the air. They waited but no one came. Boudreaux fired three shots again but still they were alone. He continued for forty-five minutes - shooting, waiting, shooting, waiting until finally Boudreaux said, "Ya kno Shawee, if somebody don't come in a hurry, dere, ahm goin' run outa dem arrows purty soon, yeah!" |
| A little bit of Lobster fishing Now dat be not A Cajun fishing trip noo. After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?" :-) |
| THE WONDERS OF MID-LIFE I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be....Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or mayb even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate. Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache. In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag. Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around. Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless. Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too." Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones. Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?" In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water. Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally -- more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin. Mid-life means that you become more reflective... You start pondering the "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice? But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it. REMEMBER: "Stressed" spelled backward is "desserts." Send this to four women and you will lose two pounds. Send this to all the women you know and you will lose 10 pounds. If you delete this message, you gain 10 pounds immediately. |
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