Well, well, well. So you actually want to know more about me, huh? [sigh] Well, if you insist...

I was born summer of 1978. I won't tell you the date. I'm one of those people who prefer not to have a big fuss made over my birthday. I'm Vietnamese, probably 'cuz my parents were both Vietnamese, who knows... Born and raised as the youngest of six and the only child who was born here in America and not Vietnam. Yes, I can say, I am spoiled. Yes, I can say, I am that annoying little brother everyone has. But I try my best to be otherwise. You can ask my family about that. They'll disagree and say I'm not trying. You'll have to judge for yourself.

Anyways, I grew up in the tiny town of Redwood City. That's in the San Francisco Bay Area, in case any of my visitors aren't familiar with the place. This place has become my home. I wouldn't voluntarily move anywhere else. I may change my mind later on if I travel more extensively, but as of right now, Silicon Valley is where I belong. Life up until high school was okay. Same old stuff. I was almost a complete loner, only one or two really good friends. Somewhere about sixth grade, my brother bought me for Christmas a Basic Dungeons and Dragons set. I got hooked. Been playing ever since. Well, when I can get my friends to play with me, at least.

Then came high school. I went to Bellarmine College Preparatory. Nice place. All-boys private school in San Jose. I had a lot of fun during those years. First time I ever felt I fit in, I guess. An interesting feeling. I guess that started me on philosophizing. I philosophize a lot. Mostly personal, internal stuff. If you ever wonder about my personal philosophy, ask me. I'm kinda curious myself. I think I need to vocalize it to really make sense of it. Right now, it's in jumbles and I haven't had the time to really sort out my life. Anyway, I met a lot of great people at Bell.

Did you ever feel alone, even in the middle of a crowd? I don't know, maybe it's just my mentality. I'm weird that way. While I met a lot of really cool people, made a lot of really good friends, I don't think, as of yet, I've actually met anyone I've really meshed with. Don't get me wrong, I have really good friends, and I'd sacrifice my life for them if needed, but... I don't know... don't quote me...

Graduation came. Happy day. Sad day. I read once that one type of friend you can have is what is called a transitional friend. It's the person that you're friends with because they're there and you get along with them. I guess I had a lot of those. That sounds kinda harsh, doesn't it? It really isn't when you think about it. I still am friends with those guys. It's just that... that... oh, I don't know... I've never really been good at keeping in touch with people. It's that whole never-quite-meshed-perfectly mentality at work I guess. There is one group I really try to keep in touch with. I guess you guys would probably know who you are. These are the people I count as true friends. These are the ones that are hard to come by. I don't know how many most people have, but I count myself lucky to have these guys.

College. What do I have to say about it? If you've experienced it, you can get the idea. If you haven't, then you'll just have to go. I decided to go to Santa Clara University. Talk about expensive! I won't say how much, but let's just say I may be in debt for a real long time. I almost don't care, though. I met a lot of really great people here, too. I began my college career in the Graham Complex. Three quarters of living in a room with my two roommates. Probably two of my three best friends during that first year. Slowly, I got to know the rest of my dormmates. All really cool people. Except, I'm not really into drinking. So, again, I didn't fit in perfectly here either. I spent most of second and third quarter in my room playing solitaire.

I guess I should mention karate, since it's a pretty important aspect of my life. I started around the end of my sophomore year in high school. I found out that one of my friends was taking it and, having wanted to take course for a long time, but never really finding the courage, I decided to take the plunge. Amazing how much courage you can draw from the mere presence of a friend. Karate has probably been my life. No strike that. I'll talk about the other thing in a moment. Karate has been the one thing that I've ever been really good at, something that I could do a lot better than most others. I excelled at it. I revelled in it. I immersed myself in it. I literally spent three to six hours a day, five or six days a week, at my dojo. It was hard, especially when my original teacher left the company. I finally found another teacher that I really like, and I've already followed him through several cities. For a year and a half, I put my blood, sweat, and tears into the Art. My effort was rewarded with relatively quick advancement through the ranks. Halfway up the ranking system, I was offered a red belt, or a teaching belt, which I accepted. A lot of trouble came about because of that simple belt, but I won't get into that. The past no longer matters. From that day forth, I threw myself into teaching. What really pains me, however, is that I think I've reached my peak. No, it's not that I've reached my peak, but that I reached it so early. I definitely do not consider myself black belt material, yet I know I'm nearing it. I want to really excel, but I can't seem to get past this little problem. What really kills me, though, is that I see people who don't deserve black belts get them, and that really undermines my respect for the belt itself. So far, the only thing that has kept me from leaving the system is time and my loyalty to my students. I don't even pretend to think that they imagine me as they're teacher, or even senpai, but still... old habits die hard, eh? I guess I'm just a sentimental fool...

The second thing that I promised to talk about is snowboarding. Now, I know, it is kinda hard to imagine snowboarding being really that important to me, but it is. Snowboarding is something that I really love. I enjoy the sport, and at the same time, I can let my mind go blank. It is one of the few things that I can simply enjoy, without having to think about the rest of my life. I guess that's why I do some crazy stuff every once in a while. Because I don't have to think of the consequences, just that, for one moment, I'm alive. We'll let it go at that, I think.

The one thing that really hits me hard, though, is that I've never had a girlfriend. I've never truly been on a "date", either. I guess it's part of my fear that I'll always be alone in the world, that there's no one that I can truly connect with. Although, I can't say that I've tried really hard. I'm just too shy. I'm the kind of person who can say "Hi" to complete strangers, but when it comes to actually talking to people, I'll clam up. I'm the type of person who is present for a conversation, but stays so quiet no one remembers that he's there. If anyone does notice me, I'll insert little bits of nonsense until they forget about me once again. That makes it a little hard to get a date. Also, if I like a girl, I absolutely do not tell anyone. Or at least I try not to. I made a couple slip ups a couple days ago, and now I don't think I'll ever live it down. I've got friends trying to "help" me. I'm never going to let this happen again. I guess my major fear in this is inflicting myself upon a girl. I say inflicting because I know I'm not exactly a good "catch". I can't really imagine myself as someone who a girl could actually like if they really got to know me. I'm sure if any of my friends read this, they'd probably try to disagree, if only because they're my friends. But what do they know? I'm am an introvert/chameleon to the extreme. Anyway, I don't wanna talk about this topic anymore.

Oooh, religion. Good topic. I was born and raised a Catholic, but somewhere along the way, I lost my faith. I don't know why... maybe I just can't seem to reconcile the concept of God and the society that we live in today. There's just something wrong with that picture. That and any number of reasons is why I just couldn't seem to believe any longer. I even took a philosophy course to help me reconcile all these ideas. It didn't help. It just gave me more doubts and a certain derision towards philosophizing clergymen. Maybe if I got into a really good philosophy debate on God. Problem is, I wouldn't know where to start...

Last thing before I leave you to the rest of this webpage, assuming you intend to, of course, is depression. I guess this paints a depressing picture of my life. I think it does. And that is what was intended when I wrote this. I'm depressed. I've been depressed for several years. Sometimes I get so depressed that I could cry myself to sleep. Except that I haven't cried in many, many years. Guess I just ran out of tears. Kinda funny, when you think about it. Even my tears desert me when they'd probably do the greatest good right about now. You don't know how many nights I've lain in bed, completely awake, and comtemplated suicide. You could never know. But I know that's not an option. I'm too deeply ingrained in this complex web of life. I've crossed too many lives to think that suicide would only affect myself. I just couldn't bear the thought that my death might let someone down somewhere...

Well, there you have it. I've bared about half my soul into this coding. If you wanna learn about the other half, well, you'll just have to help me wrestle my way through that part. If you didn't understand any part of my ramblings, it's okay, it's just little ole me, right? Don't matter too much, I don't think anyone really hits this page too much 'cept me. I wonder who actually reads this stuff. Who are you? Why do you wanna know so much about me? If you've gotten this far, then obviously you have some type of interest in my life, even if it's only an interest in my literary skills. If you're some stranger, well then, I hope you enjoyed reading this little blurb. I'm glad I could entertain you for the ten minutes it took to read this. Well, whoever you are, I hope you have a good week and check back every once in a while. Maybe something worthwhile will have happened in the interim. Or maybe not.

Hah, pessimist. Wonder how I ever survived this world.