"Man, if that ain't the 'Blind leading the Blind'.. I don't know what it is!"
-Eddie C., Hawaii:1999

"Damn, Freshman.. I think you just graduated to Sophomore!"
-Mr Smith, Hawaii:1999

"I can't believe we're being kicked off this island by a Hurricane named 'Dick'!"
-The Pope, Bahamas:1999

"..and that's why they call me 'Lucky Harwood'"
"Hey! How's that EYE, LUCKY??"
-Pip & DJ, Bahamas:1999

"m-i-s-c-h-e-i-f...."
-DJ, Bahamas:1999

"Don't be humble.. you're not THAT great."
-unknown

"What do 'ya say we send some Chance Pants to Geraint's Parents??"
-Matt (The Evil Programmer), Bahamas:2000

"Eddie's coming from Alabama with Banjo on his knee.."
-Matt (I'm an Engineer), Bahamas:2000

"Poor planning on YOUR part does not constitute an emergency on MY part."
-Unknown, Field:2000

"Why is it every time I stick my head in the plane, Dan's BUTT is in my face??"
"Oh, yes, and you'll LIKE IT!"
-Hef & Leutenaint Dan, Bahamas:2000

"WHOT'S GOING ON??"
-G-Man, St.Pete,FL:2000

"Ca-man ya Cocanut!!!"
-Pip, Bahamas:2000

"WORDS, DOUG.. WORDS"
-DJ, Lafayette,LA:2000

"Man.. this place is Crappier than GUAM!"
-Roberto, PuertoRico:2001

"So where is this place Salida?? There are signs at every exit for it!"
-Nameless, PuertoRico:2001

"Um.. That's why they call them the 'Great Lakes'"
-Roberto, Erie,PA:2001

"I got four things to say to you...'Room Two-Two-NINE"
-Uncle Kenny, Bahamas:2001

"What the heck?? Are they gonna DRIVE all the way there??"
-Corpral Head, La Ceiba, Honduras:2002

"Dos Gatos", "Me and Pink"
-Tres Gringos, La Ceiba, Honduras:2002

H:"Hola! Como te llama?"
P:"I'm Cindy. I'm from Canada."
H:*gulp*
-Hef&Pink, La Ceiba, Honduras:2002

"I think I got the Disenerey..."
"I think you mean Dis-en-tary"
"Yeah, that too."
-Hef & Bob, La Ceiba, Honduras:2002

"I See Mexican People..."
-Normski, La Ceiba, Honduras:2002

"Why are you putting so much salt in there??"
-Michelle to Dan 'The Cook', The Pribs,AK:2002

"And that's why they call me THE JAB!!"
-Robert-E-Lee, The Pribs,AK:2002

"Poor Phil, the victom of improper paperwork."
-Michelle, Seattle,WA:2002

"Oh, well not in Trucker Miles."
-Padnah, The Highway,OR:2002

"Dude, that was so stupid it woke me up!"
-Bob-o, Two Seconds Later,OR:2002

"Be sure to take the 405!" "Oh, you mean that exit we just passed?"
-Hef & Pip, Los Angeles,CA:2002

"Man, I'm tropically depressed.."
-Roberto, Ocean City,MD:2002

"Alright, Drive 'er like you stole 'er!"
-Jeno J, Everywhere:2002

"It's GROUNDHOG DAY.... AGAIN"
-Jeff, Erie,PA:2002

"I Hate Them Dudes"
-The Bob, Everywhere:2002

"Would you like a fork-n-knife?"
-Waitress, Opa-laka-gonna-drop-ya,FL:2002

"Back at the Lafayette office.."
-Bob-o, Lafayette,LA:2002

"Hey, is that supposed to be bent like that??"
-Hefner, Lafayette,LA:2003

"Hello Mista Traffic, Where's Mista Truck?"
-Jeno J, HanfordReach,WA:2003

"Roy Von Applebee is Tiger Shy!"
-Hef & Chris, HanfordReach,WA:2003

"Shoalsssss.... weeeeeks... RUN OFF!!"
-Bob-o, Seattle,WA:2003

"I knoooww youuuuuuu!!!!"
-??, Okinawa,Japan:2003

"..gotta get some color back in my face"
-??, Okinawa,Japan:2003

"He's turning yellow!"
"Yeah, pretty much all the time!!"
-Cheetah & Bandit, Okinawa,Japan:2003

"Noooo! SUNTORY is BETTER!!"
-The Butcher, Okinawa,Japan:2003

"So, do you guys have SONY in Tokyo?"
-Michael J Fox, Okinawa,Japan:2003

"If you have to ask what it's like, then you've never been Harwooded"
-DJ, Honolulu,HI:2003

"Where's that fifth guy??"
-Hefner, Bat21:2004

"Tore up like a country bicycle!"
-Big Fish, Morocco:2004

"Who does this for a living?"
-Jeno "Chee-tah", Morocco:2004

"It is FORBIDDEN!"
-H, Morocco:2004

"Rather rub a wildcat up a cocapeas a** than mess with me!"
-Big Fish, Morocco:2004

"TWO.. huh huh huh... maybe three..."
-Uncle Butchie, Morocco:2004

"I AM CHAINSAW"
-Vlad, Morocco:2004

"So, um, why do they call it Donkey Kong?"
-Hefner, Morocco:2004

"Mmmmmm... PHONY!"
-Bandit, Morocco:2004

"Man, that's good cock!"
-Uncle Butchie, Morocco:2004

(after hearing the re-telling of the above)
"Um... maybe you shouldn't say that so loud in public."
-Some Dude to Butchy, Venice,FL:2004

"Juug it with a stick!"
-BigFish, PCB,FL:2004

"It's depressing, it's like the 'Waffle House of Broken Dreams'."
-Five-Tone, Titusville,FL:2004

"I got two things to say to you...*fist* ONE *other fist* TWO."
-Normski, Philippines:2004

"Hey, look at me.. PRO."
-Hef, Philippines:2004

"How deep does it go here?"
"All the way to the bottom."
-Sucker & Smartass, Palau:2004

"Good afternoon, Koror Tower, this is Charlie-Fox-Bravo-Charlie-November.
Requesting permission to land on runway zero-niner, meow."
-Coulion, Palau:2004

"Have you tried the O-N-O-F-F Switch?"
-Billy-B, Palau:2004

"Are you back there making tissue babies?"
-Mandrin, Palau:2004

"Hey Guys, did we land or were we SHOT DOWN?"
-Hef, Palau:2004

"So after we:
a) create a tide model using the lidar surface,
b) islolate the addictive substance in Beetlenut,
c) create time travel using gravity waves
THEN we'll create cellular ringtones that sound like a fart?
-Deep Thoughts, Palau:2004

"So I hada coupla Chardanayz... what of it??"
-Uncle Donnie, Palau:2004

"Who the hell is Kevin???"
-Billy-B, Palau:2004

"I'm not a Bus Driver... I'm a Garbage Man. Haulin' the TRASH."
-Cocoa, Palau:2004

"That ain't a Holiday... that's a damn Vacation!"
-The Pope, Kenya:2005

"Hey Norma, how'd you make that Zebra black and white?"
-Hef, Kenya:2005

"So, how was your Duck Pate, Cool Whip?"
-Hef, Israel:2005

"I sang my Weenie Song for Chris and he thinks I need to go to the Hospital."
-Normski, The Kiln Office:2005

"How far down does this road go?"
"All the way to the end."
-Sucker & Smartass Chorus, FtLauderdale:2005

"I'm so pro-active I sleep in my clothes and eat my cereal with mouthwash."
-Grusell, Proactive:RI:2005

"Oh my Gawd, it smells like piss and faats in heah!"
-Some Yankee, Providence,RI:2005

"If she wants to lick the Hooters waitress, I'm not standin' in her way."
-DJ, Wilmington,NC:2005

"He did half, and you did half, and I did half and.. well, OK.. you can only have so many halves.. but you know what I mean!"
-Hacksaw, Gulfport,MS:2005

"We're gonna have a special appearance by Ellen Degeneres who says 'I may not know much about levees, but I got my finger in a dike!'"
-LoweManDan, The Delta,LA:2005

"Jeff.. it's "Sh*t on a Shingle" not "Sh*t on Ham"."
-BobbyB, TheKill,MS:2005

"She has ze Cr-ankey Pantz."
-Andre3000, Guam:2006

"I need some t*****s in my face."
-BB, Guam:2006

"Deee-troit in Jooo-lie"
-ChiefWiggs, ClevelandRocks:2006

"DIRKA DIRKA 72 VIRGINS!! BAM-BAM!"
-Nickoo, DaPhilippines:2006

H:"So, you should be out of here tomorrow!"
R:"What?"
H:"I said you'll be out of here tomorrow."
R:"WWWWWHAT???"
H:"Dude, that's really inappropriate right now."
-Heffe&TheDirtyBird, PI:2006

"Nice Bag..."
-Nick-a-demus, Honolulu,HI:2007

"No, that's Grid North"
-Denial, Honolulu,HI:2007

"Can't have rainbows without a little rain!"
-Nick-a-lodeon, Honolulu,HI:2007

"WATER... eeeehhhhhh... HOT...."
-Kyyye, Honolulu,HI:2007

"I cannot believe you just asked me that question."
-Heffe, Guam:2007

"Dammit, my watermelon shake tastes like Watermelon."
-Eric T. Red, PI:2007

"God, I hate Bon Jo... Oh hell."
-Heffe, PI:2007

"I'll finally be working with smart people for a change!"
-DumbTwat, Saipan:2007

Text:"Cocoa just chunked Exorcist Style all over the plane!"
-Nick-stra-domas, Saipan:2007

"I've never seen the Atlantic Ocean before!"
-Lil'Dep, LakeOntario:2007

N:"I'm sorry."
E:"I'm sorry too."
(pause)
N:"Ok-I-love-you-bye" *click*
-Nick&Eric Oprah Moment, TheRoch,NY:2007

"It's like those boats are just floating there..."
-The Freshmaker, BlockIsle,RI:2007

"This place reminds me of the East Coast."
-PistolPete, TheEastCoast,RI:2006

"It's one of those mornings you just can't trust a fart."
-DJ, Bufalo,NY:2007