Yes, Will Smith. The man who likes to think that he's all that: funny, a good rapper and a fine actor. You know where this is headed, this is a rants section afterall, and you've probably read a few by now to get used to what will follow.

After springing to prominance after starring in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, he managed a couple of worldwide hits on the back of this-under the guise of Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince. However, his thinking that he made the show is all wrong. The show was kept going by three other characters: Phil, Carlton and, most notably, Jeffrey. All he did was make annoying sounds and half-assed wiseassed remarks that weren't particularly amusing-sort of like Roseanne, in other words. Sarah Gilbert made that show, yet Roseanne gets all the credit and, more importantly, money. See what I mean?

If it wasn't bad enough, he also tried to prove he could act in later episodes. Whereas Ices T and Cube can act (rap etc etc), Smith basically can't, so how comes he got to Hollywood on the 'A' list? Is it because there aren't enough black actors getting main roles and he was seen as the way forward, or was it just the industry cashing in on the 'dumb black kids'? Since the system is inherantly racist, the latter seems more likely.

After a credible debut feature, Bad Boys, the lowest denominator was lowered sufficiently for his following feature, the ever terrible and loathesome Independence Day.

Since this film went on to become the highest grosser of all time, it seemed that the stock of the main stars would raise. But whereas Bill Pullman and Jeff Goldblum remained shackled to character acting hell, Smith got raised to a higher plateau, despite giving a performance that almost made the script (plot, characterisation...) look credible.

Onwards to a film that REALLY took the piss-Men in Black. Not only did he get higher billing than Tommy Lee Jones, a far more accomplished and respected actor, he added insult by also performing the title theme, which was nauseatingly overplayed just about everywhere that summer. And again the film was an undeserved success-should cinema goers be shot more often if their intelligence keeps getting lower?

After Enemy of the State, which I oh-so-tragically missed out on, The Golden Boy of Hollywood finally came a cropper with Wild Wild West, a basic remake of Men in Black in so many respects-even the poster. Yes, again he performed the theme tune, again nauseatingly overplayed, but the film flopped on the Richter Scale-5 Razzies, no Oscars (even Men in Black got one-even though Best Sound is hardly worth trumpeting).

But lo and behold-insult and injury are interfacing again, Will Smith playing Mohammed Ali-WHAT THE F*@#?!?!?!. I thought this was a sick joke-now everyone would love to see Ali get his face pureed for all 2 hours of screentime. Guess who especially?

And I forgot a few pot shots at his recording career when he isn't doing the theme tune to another slab of turkey with a dogshit sauce. But I think you've all been witness to most of the travesties he's had written for him by now.

And as for the line about most rappers not being able to do a verse without a curse? Well, Mr. Smith keeps coming up with painful rhyming and/or dumbass phrasing (Wikkity wikkity Wild Wild West-a constant source of amusement for Ben Miller when guesting on The 11 O'Clock Show), so he's a fine one to talk. If that isn't also written for him. And why does he still act like he does on The Fresh Prince... in interviews? It is ANNOYING in the extreme. Commercialised, dumbed down pap, doncha just LURRVE it? No? Well burn your local Our Price in protest! Project Mayhem is in effect!!!