The aptain's Logue (Archives)

Captain's Logue Commentary Archive - Season 5:

INDEX:

23 Apr 04	17 May 04	1 Jun 04
26 Apr 04	20 May 04	4 Jun 04
29 Apr 04	24 May 04	7 Jun 04
4 May 04	26 May 04			Season 4 Index
11 May 04	28 May 04			Seasons 1-3 ('99-'02)

 
 
 

7 June 04:

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Goal or No Goal? The NHL is a Joke.

4 June 04:

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Cut dialog from Star Wars: Episode VI, beween the spirit of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker on Dagobah, after the death of Jedi Master Yoda:

"When your father left, he didn't know your mother was pregnant.  Your mother and I knew he would find out eventually, but we wanted to keep you both as safe as possible, for as long as possible.  So I took you to live with my brother Owen [Note: this dynamic was later revised by screenwriters George Lucas and Lawrence Kasdan, and in fact, according to today's official canon, there no longer is a relationship between Kenobi and Owen Lars - ed.] on Tatooine and your mother took Leia to live as the daughter of Senator Bail Organa, on Alderaan.   The Organa household was high-born and politically quite powerful in that system.  Leia became a princess by virtue of lineage - no one knew she had been adopted, of course.  But it was a title without real power, since Alderaan had long been a democracy.  Even so, the family continued to be politically powerful, and Leia, following in her foster father's path, became a senator as well.    That's not all she became, of course; she became a leader of her cell in the Alliance against the corrupt Empire.  And because she had diplomatic immunity, she was a vital link for getting information to the rebel cause.  That's what she was doing when when her path crossed yours, for her foster parents had always told her to contact me on Tatooine if her troubles became desperate."

Have you already forgotten the most *talented* player, ever to suit up for the Lightning?

     - LT

1 June 04:

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Results of the 24th Annual Running of The 97 Rock N Roll 500 (2004)

1 Stairway to Heavan  Led Zeppelin 2 You Shook Me (All Night Long) AC/DC 3 Sweet Emotion Aerosmith 4 La Grange ZZ Top 5 Free Bird Lynyrd Skynyrd 6 Turn the Page Bob Seger 7 Hotel California Eagles 8 Happiest Days Of Our Lives/ Another Brick In The Wall, Part II Pink Floyd 9 Dream On Aerosmith 10 More Than A Feeling Boston 11 Paranoid Black Sabbath 12 In The Air Tonight Phil Collins 13 Layla Derek & the Dominoes 14 Sweet Child O' Mine Guns N' Roses 15 Rock And Roll Led Zeppelin 16 Sweet Home Alabama Lynyrd Skynyrd 17 Runnin' with The Devil Van Halen 18 Back in Black AC/DC 19 Carry On My Wayward Son Kansas 20 Born To Be Wild Steppenwolf

28 May 04:

26 May 04:

24 May 04:

20 May 04:

17 May 04:

11 May 04:

4 May 04:

• Arrive nearly 2am in downtown Montreal.
• Tread through the snow to a certain "Club SuperSexe" and get a local civics lesson on what a licence for something called a "contact danse" is.
• Learn quickly how something entirely different called a "table danse" (for two, nonetheless!) may be "more erotic" for some, but surely not if you're living!
• Sleep.
• Wake around 1pm.
• Try to establish a plan for the day.
• Fail.
• Leave the Ritz by about 3.30pm.
• Witness a crime in progress, as my American greenbacks are larcened at Soviet-bloc rates for funny money.
• Eat half a pizza and sample some wonderful Poutine at an unnamed establishment ("Mike's"?).  Have a beer.
  
• Shop for a Nick Lachey shirt.  Find Canadian pants instead.
• Get personal service at a small basement venue I believe was called "Cabaret Sex Appeal".  Wonder if my disinterest in the employees is outweighed by their disinterest in us.  Realize I'm more interested in the television, anyway.  Have more beers.
• Return to the Ritz for refueling.  Shorts become pants.
  
• Try to enjoy an amazing meal at La Queue de Cheval, but realize a pizza 4 hours before a meal was probably not the most prudent of preparations.
• Bemused by our Bachelor, and his quick rapport with the waitstaff.
• Am unaware the wine has been finished and replenished.
• Get anxious to leave.
• Barely think twice about the C$800 cheque.
  
• Leave.  A 2½ block walk somehow takes 45 minutes.
• Experience "Le Club Downtown".  Realize the "contact danse" licence is a wise business expense.
  
• Taylor saves Purcell's ass.
• Uneasy relief.
• Night denegrates into unpleasantness.
• Worry one or all of us will be ejected from establishment at the drop of a hat.
  
• Leave.  A 10 minute walk back to the Ritz takes at least 20.
• In a fit of irrational behavior, I say things to the guest of honor I quickly, and still to this moment, regret.
• Try to come to grips with the asinine fact that on the Bachelor Party, we have lost the Bachelor.
• Best Western.
• Wait up till 6am.
  

Lastly I want to address a problem with this forum:  Reciprocity.  There is simply not enough participation.  The damn Discussion Board is naked, and this site really feeds of Bravo's energy.  It was never intended to be a one-man dialog.  Another example is the Black List above.  I've had a trivia question out there for a week, and no one even bothered to wager a guess.  Come on people, I'm dying here!  Also, Kris, you never told me (on the Boards at least) if you can see the mini-poll below.  Regardless, whether you can or cannot, we'll continue to use it for the time being.

Matt, we miss you terribly on the Boards!  Reviewing the site during the redesign reminded me of how your posts are far and away the best ones there!  (See for yourself).  With irreplaceable names like "Ace Cockfighter" (I love it!), "PFin'FCDP", and "Long Mats Silver", plus comments like "You sir, will overtake me and I'll cum up the rear", we're really missing your input.  In all seriousness, I can say that those are my favorite posts on the Boards, and make me laugh the most.  Please come back!

I need everyone to keep abreast of this.  Kris, where da hell have you been?  D, don't get me started.

And finally, rant over.  After all of this, I'd like to announce to you, ladies and gentlemen, ah, who am I kidding, gentlemen, we have now been officially, completely, and with extreme prejudice, Caught in the Moment.

Bravo.

29 April 04:

So the big question on everyone's mind is, where's Matt?  OK, so that's actually the smaller question.  The actual question is, how was the honeymoon?  Details?  Pictures?  Come on, let us in!

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You Make the Call:

A team goes offside and the official allows   play to continue with a delayed whistle.   However, during the play, one of the  defenders accidentally puts the puck into  his  own net.  Outcome?   (Without looking this up, dammit!  Leave   your answers on the Discussion Boards!)

That eloquent paragraph above was actually written yesterday.  As events came to pass, I actually had the pleasure of making verbal contact with said winger, and pretty much got all the details I require.  I can't say much for the rest of you, but my curiosity's satisfied, and thanks to another Hero, is safely back in the confines of central Union Street.  Backyard BBQ & Wrestling pending, dates to come...

Meanwhile, on the ice, tonight Tampa looks for their franchise's first sweep, up three games to none over Montreal.  Now I have to stop here and make a rather obvious point.  Normally I'm all for the little guy to prevail.  However, following our recent trip, how could anyone not pull for the fair city of Montreal?  Of couse, calling Tampa, top team in the East, the underdog, is kind of a misnomer.  However to me and most, it's a carbon copy of last year's Cinderella Wild and Ducks - unproven young teams, with rising stars (and a few gristled veterans sprinked in).  Hall-of-Famer (it hurts to say) 'Diamond' Dave Andreychuk, the player with the most regular games played and his name nowhere to be found on Stanley, leads the squad.  Funny how Andy holds that distinction, and the person in second place, is Phil Housely.  Drafted the same year, and strugged for so long together on the same hapless team.

Last night, another former Blue-and-Golder, Alex Mogilny, father of three and possibly in his final year before retirement, returned to the squad to pull the Leafs back into contention, a game behind Philly.  Out West, Calgary continues to make it interesting, playing the role of Canada's best hope, a game up against the mighty Wings.  Jarome Iginla is really winning a lot of converts.  The KKK chapter of Alberta is officially on hiatus.  Finally, Colorado dodged the broom, pulling out an exciting overtime win against the Sharks.  Look for San Jose to close out back in the 'Tank on Friday night.  Steve, you left at the wrong time.  Don't you ever want to live to see a ticker-tape parade?  I hate to say it, but you went to the wrong town if that's what you want to see.  The closest you'll get to that now, is by renting "Bruce Almighty".

Khabibulin, Kiprusoff, and Nabokov have really been the stories.  And I'm getting sick of it.  When goaltenders dominate the news, the excitement level really drops off.  This is the image we want to be left with during the lockout?

26 April 04:

Did anybody actually watch any hockey lately?  I haven't seen the overnights, but I think it's safe to say that a silly football draft had more viewers than semifinal playoff hockey.

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Buffalo Bills' Most Notorious 1st Round Draft Picks

1970 - Al "A.C." Cowlings,            DE, USC (5th overall) 1969 - Orenthal James "O.J." Simpson,            RB, USC  (1st overall)

I've been a bit preoccupied lately and have thus been unable to pay more attention to this other silly contest, the Heroes Championship.  Suffice it to say, troubles at home (in Brooklyn) have my mind wandering elsewhere, though events coming in the near future may actually free me up with loads of time to sit and type in this forum.  Take that as you will;  grains of a positive spin on otherwise poor news.  Forgive the crypticness of this all, but for lack of a better platform, I'll have to disseminate information on a piecemeal basis until further events warrant otherwise.

Saw "Kill Bill Vol. 2" the other night.  For those of you who liked the first half, you should thusly more than enjoy the conclusion.  If you didn't like "Vol. 1", all I will say is that "Vol. 2" is an improvement.  Should anyone else see it and wish to write a review, you'll be more than welcome to do so in this space.

So what else is the flavor of the day?  The Gier-Damstetters are slated to return tomorrow (Tuesday), and due to the alignment of the lines of longitude of this fair planet of ours, should already been en route.  Hope their trip went well.  And in other news, a small one-man dingy has been spotted headed east, a few hundred miles off the San Diego coast...

Anyway, as you can see by the stats, Team Deisig's eight-point lead could very prove to be insurmountable.  Sad as it is to say, but a grand showing in the quarters can really postion a team for smooth sailing throughout the remainder of this contest.  Bonus points will be at a premium and could very well be the difference.

Finally, for now, can everyone see the voting poll below (NOT the "Click here to see our Polls" section)?  I think you need to have JAVA enabled on your browser, and it should appear right after this section (current poll will help me deterimine if they're working for all or not).  Let me know in the discussion boards if you can't see them.  If we all can't participate, I'll find alternate means to pick brains.

Anyhow, all for now.  Wish me luck.

23 April 04:

Well, a record breaking time indeed.  First, this site is 16 days late - a new record, next, Team Deisig was nearly perfect in the quarterfinals, going 7-for-8, and vaulting into the lead with 25 points - only 2 short of his entire 2003 total, andd 

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Traits of a Mate

1. It's important to have a woman who doesn't mind cooking, cleans up the house, and has a good job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman whom you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know nor ever meet one other.

his 7 correct equals his entire output from a season ago.  Congratulations.

Anyhow, I don't really have a lot to say right now, as I'm pretty well under the gun to get something slapped up into cyberspace.  I had hoped to make some major revisions to this site of ours, but in the end, owing to time constraints, I just decided to use the old template that we're all familiar with from the last four years.  Well, maybe next year, if there are no playoffs, I can take that time to modernize this site for the 21st Century.

I don't think everything works quite right at the present time.  The counters, voting booth, and a whole host of other things still need to be looked at.  However, for the time being, what's here should be serviceable enough, at least to get our picks officially out into the open.

I guess a lot has changed since the last update of this page.  Our man on the West Coast is now our man in the North.  Our fearless winger is most likely sipping a colored beverage on a sandy beach with his wife.  Yikes, what a difference a year makes.  In future updates of this forum, I'd like to address the trip to Montreal as well as discuss the wedding and the days leading up to it.

Fond memories indeed.

But for now, I digress, and the only true question that remains (other than the longstanding issue of what damn prizes need to be awarded for this contest - race to 5 championships?) is, who's worthy enough to get his name on the next banner in the rafters of fame?

Have a good weekend, and remember to leave a message on the Discussion Boards, dammit..

INDEX:

10 Apr 03	23 Apr 03	9 May 03	22 May 03	10 Jun 03
11 Apr 03	25 Apr 03	13 May 03	27 May 03
14 Apr 03	29 Apr 03	15 May 03	2 Jun 03
16 Apr 03	6 May 03	19 May 03	6 Jun 03
22 Apr 03	8 May 03	21 May 03	9 Jun 03

 
 
 

10 June 03:

So as I'm sure you're all well aware, last night of Exit 16W on the Jersey Turnpike, the Devils got their 16th 'W' to claim a 365-day lease on their third Stanley Cup in eight years - not nine as everyone is proclaiming - it's nine seasons, jackass.  Another 3-0 home shutout landed them their third Cup under their third different coach and ended the Disney classic-in-the-making tale for the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim.  I guess once again, as much as I loathe the Devs, all is right in the world of hockey.  Suffice it to say, proclaimations of, "I'm going to Disneyland" were not heard in the arena.

At least the Ducks have something to be proud of in only their tenth year of existance.  Out of the 11 teams to lose in their first finals appearance, Anaheim was the first to take it the distance to seven games.  Also, upstart goalkeeper J.S. Giguere claims a rare feat in winning the Conn Smythe Trophy as playoff MVP.  The Ducks can be proud of their accomplishments:
    *  Best Season In Franchise History
    * 2003 Western Conference Champions
    * J.S. Giguere Posts Longest Playoff Shutout In History
    * Most Improved NHL team in '02-'03
    * Adam Oates 6th all time in assists
    * Jean-Sebastien Giguere will once again be a guest on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno tonight
    * A celebration, Disney-style, at Arrowhead Pond of Anaheim at 10am tomorrow morning

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HoH : HoF Heroes of Hockey Hall of Fame Most Honoured Members of the Hamburg Kings' Organization

1989 - Brown, Michael  #17           Team MVP, Season 2000 - Latona, James  #9, Captain           Innaugural Grand Champion,           Heroes of Hockey Playoffs Competition 2001 - Blaser, Kristofer  #17, Alternate Capptain           Grand Champion, Heroes of Hockey Playoffs Competition 2002 - Deisig, Steven  #15           Grand Champion, Heroes of Hockey Playoffs Competition 2003 - Blaser, Kristofer  #17, Alternate Capptain           First-Ever Two-Time Grand Champion,           Heroes of Hockey Playoffs Competition

Giguere ended with a 15-6 playoffs record, 1.62 GAA and 5 shutouts, and was also the first netminder in NHL history to win each of his first seven overtime playoff games.

I'd like to say the Ducks have a great future to build on, but we all know better:  They're a lucky, defensive team that got a hot goaltender at the right time (who cooled off a little too soon) with virtually no offense in front of him.  They are a lot like the '99 Sabres...  and you know how the future went for them...  Odds will never be the same and Vegas may never recover.

Speaking of the Blue & Gold, what of the Buffalo contingent in these games?  Well, Keith Carney solidified his myth as a stawart quarterback (huh?) and Dick Smehlik?  Well he did get to hold the Cup...   But what of his legacy?  According to the NHL stipulations amended in 1977, players appearing in a minimum of 40 regular-season games or at least one Stanley Cup Final game for the championship team will get their names engraved on the Stanley's hull.  So what of Smehly?  Well, after being traded from the Thrashers to Devils, he only played in 12 regular season games for New Jersey.  Unfortunately, he only suited for 5 games in the playoffs, and the last came during the Conference Finals against Ottawa.  Assuming they hold to code, our Czechoslovakian-born former defenseman will have to wait his turn like the rest of his former Buffalo teammates, before he'll be able to get a rubbing of his name off the chalice during his next trip to SARonto.

I would be remiss if I didn't comment on the shameful way the Devils played after they got the lead and decided to sit on it.  How many icings did they get called for?  They turned the great fast pace of the first period into a happy faded memory by game's end.  What a dull snoozer of a second-half of hockey.  Talk about boring hockey.  Talk about everything that's wrong with an overtly defensive style.  Talk about a longing for the shoot-'em-ups of the '80s.  Yikes.

If ABC does indeed drop coverage of playoff hockey next season, I'm going to blame that miserable organization in the Jersey swamps who ensure that the dullest game possible be played.  According to the Neilsen overnights, reruns of CBS's regular programming won the television championship on Monday night, averaging an 8.5/13 rating, NBC was next (Fame & Dateline) with a 7.0/11, followed by Fox with an inane Leeza Gibbons-hosted "Test the Nation" IQ test show that pulled a 6.0/9, while ABC's broadcast of Game 7 brought up the rear with a 5.6/9 rating.  Ah well, so be it.

And so we turn to our contest-within-a-contest.  The unofficial winner is now official, and we celebrate Team Blaser's second go-'round with the HoH Grand Championship Bowl.  His spoils this year, will be determined, right after the previous triple treat of prizes circa 2000 through present are awarded...  Stay tuned.

And what of the stats?  Well, as you'll soon see, they're surprising.  First off, it should be noted that this was the closest contest in history, with only an 8 point scattering from attic to basement.  It truly was anybody's game and up for the taking.  Blaser eeked out a slim 2-point victory -less than the value of one series- over Team Latona, with Teams Kelley and Loonie only one behind them.

Perhaps the cruelest stat is of the unsung Team Damstetter.  Their 10 wins were tops in the league (not counting the coin - and for pride's sake we won't), even more than the Grand Champions.  But in the end, like hockey, it doesn't all come down to pure power - accuracy is the great equalizer.  And that proved the difference, as Blaser banged home 4 of his 9 series wins in the exact amount of games.  That equates to 8 bonus points - the equal of nearly 3 entire wins.

Poor Team Kelly, such a start, and then a fizzle.  He had us all on the ropes there for a while, but his cockiness in foreifitting one of his Semis picks came back to haunt him in the end.  And last but not least, Team Deisig...  What happened to this giant among men?  One of the Original Three teams, he put up the lowest point totals of his career...  a measly 27 (previous low:  33).  What went wrong?  I'd like to say the pressure finally got to him, but then again, what pressure?  Maybe he better switch back to the left-handed stick...

All I can speculate is that if nothing else, this season made us hungry.  There's something to prove now that these totals are among the lowest in history (I mean come on, winning a Grand Championship and only putting up 35 points - two years in a row?!?).  We're better than that.  50 points should not only be an achievable goal, but a consistant one.  That is my challenge to this field.

Next season is only four months away...

Gentleman, with these final word, as always, it's been a personal pleasure.  I know our coordinates are scattered these days, as are our situations, but this forum allows me to enjoy the most consistant communication with my closest brothers, more than any other time of year or circumstance.

Thank you again, and let's keep in touch.  In the interim until HoH Season V, the Bravo News Page, I pledge, will be back...  Sooner than later.  And not that you're really burning up the discussion boards, but rest assured, they will remain open, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Godspeed, best of luck, and God Bless America.

9 June 03:

Well, need I really add any commentary?  I think we all know and understand what tonight is.  Beyond this silly contest that is long over, comes the real interest, and that's the games themselves.  It all comes down to just one more night of hockey, one game to determine hockey immortality.

For the second time in 3 years, but only the twelfth time in NHL history, the Finals come to a seventh game.  Winner take all, zero sum, destiny.

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Reasons to Kiss Off

1. You left me 2. Family 3. Heartache 4. Headache 5. Lonely 6. Sorrow 7. No tomorrow 8. I forget 9. Lost God 10. Everything

Following a wild Game 6 that saw the Ducks again take control of this series, the 1-day layoff and 3,000 mile intercontinental trip will either see momentum continued, or fatigue set in.

I'm sure most of you saw that captain-on-captain hit that laid Paul Kariya out across the New Jersey blue line.  That one hit will probably define the series, one way or the other.  At least that one hit allowed him to shake all his criticizm for being a finesse-no-grit player.  One play.

And is it even in question that Jean-Sebastien Giguere will win the Conn Smythe, regardless of who wins?  No one really stepped it up enough this series to overcome his memory in all previous games.  Langenbrunner, Madden, Brodeur all make good cases, but just not enough.

And even if the Ducks lose, if precedent is anything, awarding him the $10,000 and trophy makes the most sense, especially in light of the fact that they gave it to Ronnie Hextall in '87.  Should that be the case, Jiggy would be just the fifth player chosen off the losing team and first stince Hex.  But let's not get ahead of ourselves.  I think we all want the Ducks to win this one for all the little guys.  This is the way '99 should have been...

Go Anaheim!

 - LT
 
 

6 June 03:

Suffice it to say, I've been really busy lately.  I know as far as this crowd's concerned, that's probably not an acceptable excuse, however, seeing as how I'm not charging subscription access fees to come and enjoy all that is Bravo online, you'll have to just entertain yourselves with old news and, as apparently what's in vogue this year, stale and relatively one-sided discussion boards.

Nonetheless, I have a few minutes right now, so I'll recap where we stand.  The early series momentum took a major swing in Games 3 and 4 in Anaheim, as the Ducks apparently shed the rust and incredibly, evened the series at two games apiece.

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Today, the World has a Little Less Class

The great "Classy" Freddie Blassie died Monday June 2nd, at age the age 85 of an undisclosed illness.  Blassie had been hospitalized for the last few weeks with heart and kidney problems. Born Fred Blassman in 1918 in St. Louis, he was a boxer early in his career, but fell in with the enticing St. Louis wrestling crowd and became quite a dominant grappler known as Freddie "The Vampire", due to his penchant for drawing blood. "The Hollywood Fashion Plate" retired in 1974 to bestow his ring expertise to up-and-comers.  Gladiators such as Jesse "The Body" Ventura and Hulk Hogan studied under Blassie's tutelage.  In fact, Blassie was Hogan's first manager. Away from the ring, Blassie was an equally memorable character.  He released two albums, King of Men and  I Bite the Songs in 1977.  His single, "Pencil Neck Geek" is considered one of the greatest novelty records of all time. In 1983, Blassie even made a documentary with the late comedian Andy Kaufman entitled "My Breakfast With Blassie".  Blockbuster reports this week that copies are flying off rental shelves. This has been a hard year so far for fans forged during the Golden Age of mid-Eighties wresting.  The passing of Freddie Blassie is just another blow to the midsections of fans around the world. Rest In Peace Fred.  To us, you always had the best line in "Land of 1,000 Dances".

On Saturday, after I screened an afternoon showing of "D2" on the Disney Channel, perhaps destined, defenseman Ruslan Salei scored off Adam Oates' faceoff win at 6:59 into overtime to allow the Ducks to post their first series win 3-2.  Two days later, Steve Thomas, the 39-year old, scored 39 seconds into overtime, giving Anaheim a dramatic 1-0 victory.  Of Anaheim's 14 playoff wins, 10 have come in overtime or the final five minutes of the third period.  The win allowed Anaheim to match the Canadiens' record of 12 one-goal playoffs wins, set in 1993.  More importantly, the Ducks are now 7-0 in playoff overtime games this postseason.

After that drama, a two day layoff, and a return to the Jersey swamps, the Devs continued their home ice mastery with another 3-goal win (a 6 to 3 final) to pull ahead 3-2 in the series.  Tomorrow night from Arrowhead Pond, comes Game 6, and ladies, the Cup will be in the building.

Despite my pick of New Jersey in seven (which I was forced to take solely for the sake of trying to win this contest), my gut tells me that Anaheim is still going to take this thing, in seven.  All the cards are falling into place.

And for those keeping track, ABC's telecast of the Game 5 drew such a small rating (3.6/6) that it's entirely likely this could be the last year, for a long while, that you will be able to see playoff hockey on a national broadcast network.  The network even ranked well below UPN (WWE Smackdown!) for the night.  Honestly, I'm embarrased for the game.  One, the promotion on ABC has been horrendous.  They're (perhaps wisely) not really going to any length to advertise the damn games.  Secondly, I'll be the first to admit that with the state of television and the current crop of fashionable shows, pro ice hockey is not really in any molecule of demand, nor does it even seem appropriate for a national broadcast.  Finally, and this is a lose-lose situation, but East Rutherford-Anaheim is hardly a draw, even for the citizens of those communities.

Finally, in other news, I screened "The Italian Job" (2003) the other night, starring "Don't call me 'Marky Mark'" Mark Wahlberg, Edward Norton, the lovely Charlize Theron, and a fleet of Mini-Coopers.  The film was honestly a disappointment (though as I was expecting nothing, that really doesn't make a lot of sense), although I must admit, was mildly entertaining.  It was if it couldn't decide whether it wanted to be funny or clever, and succeeded in being neither.  Centered around two heists, neither were particularly interesting, and certainly not even remotely believable.  That was the real problem with this - it just wasn't believable.  While I can accept a certain level of fantasy, I felt like I just had to keep giving it rope - "fine, Seth Green's character really could never do this, but I'll let them run with it" - only to have a series of even more unrealistic events unfold.  The actors all seemed like they were walking through the picture pulling a paycheck, rather than acting in it.  I don't expect much from Marky Mark so wasn't really disappointed, but Ed Norton's turncoat psycbos are getting a bit boring.  While Charlize is pleasing on the eyes, she really adds very little to this.

There are few films where I recognize huge, gaping plot holes while I'm actually still watching the same scene (they usually come to me after the film has ended and I get to think about the big picture), but "Italian Job" is an exception.  Major plot points make absolutely zero sense.

$1 acting, $0.50 plot, $1 action, $1 effects, $1 twist/cleverness, $0.10 sex/nudity.  3 stars (out of 5).
(Ratings based on the following scale:
  $3 or less = wait for video
  $3-$5 = PayPerView
  $5-$9  = head to the theatres
  >$9 = run to a THX stadium theatre

My advice?  Wait for video to do the Italian Job.

Another weekend boys.  I'll ask again (though I already know the answer) - Anybody got any plans?

 - LT
 
 

2 June 03:

Apparently, the future model of hockey goaltenders is no longer to get "jiggy", but instead to sleep with your sister-in-law.

Now, three games into the Cup Finals, and we already need to backtrack and recap -quickly- all of the games before tonight's showdown in Anaheim.  Martin Brodeur tied Dominik Hasek's 2002 record of six shutouts in a playoff year with his second in a row enroute to their second consecutive 3-0 win over the Ducks.  Anaheim managed only 16 shots in each game, which were relative carbon copies of one another.  In that game, Devils captain Scott Stevens played his 228th career playoff game, eclipsing Larry Robinson's career mark for games played by a defenseman in the postseason.

It should be noted that teams winning Game 2 of the Stanley Cup finals have gone on to win the Stanley Cup in 26 of the past 31 seasons, although the loser of Game 2 has won the championship in two of the past three (New Jersey in 2000, Colorado in 2001).  However, home teams that sweep Games 1 and 2 are 27-1 in the finals.  Twenty years ago, Wayne Gretzky called the Devils a "Mickey Mouse operation," and now they play Disney's Mighty Ducks in the franchise's fourth Cup final in nine years, and now they play for a chance at a third title.

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NHL/NBA Finals

Continental Airlines Arena become the eighth venue to host both the Stanley Cup finals and NBA Finals in the same year.  Never has a building housed the winner in both sports.  In fact, the hockey team has lost six of the seven times Yr./Arena                   Champ: NBA       NHL '57/Boston Garden                  Celtics   Canadiens '58/Boston Garden                  Hawks    Canadiens '72/NY Madison Sq. Garden   Lakers    Bruins '74/Boston Garden                  Celtics   Flyers '80/Philadelphia Spectrum     Lakers    Islanders '92/Chicago Stadium              Bulls      Penguins '94/NY Madison Sq. Garden   Rockets  Rangers

On Saturday, after I screened an afternoon showing of "D2", perhaps destined, defenseman Ruslan Salei scored the overtime game-winner in the 3-2 game that drew the series closer, 2-1.  That game featured one of the oddest goals in the playoffs, that has already made all of the highlight reels.  A 90-footer that bounced off his fallen stick and through his legs summed up the Devils fate.  The Ducks are now 6-0 in overtime, and have new life.  Giguere's overtime scoreless streak of 167 minutes 48 seconds is the longest in league history, passing the recently retired Patrick Roy's mark of 162:56.

In other news, Wayne Gretzky made minor headlines that he is making a hockey comeback, of sorts.  The Great One says he will take part in an old timers game (not sanctioned by the other Heroes), scheduled for November 22nd at Commonwealth Stadium in Edmonton.  The game would be between alumni of the Edmonton Oilers and Montreal Canadiens and would precede a scheduled regular season game between the same two teams.  However, the NHLPA has yet to give its approval to the match.

"I said I would never play an old-timers' game," Gretzky told the Edmonton Sun. "But this one is special.  It's in Edmonton.  It's outdoors in front of 60,000 fans."  He added, "I hope The Flower plays."

When asked about the state of the game, he belied the low scoring and suggested that the goaltending equipment is too big.  "That's the biggest thing.  We've got to get the goaltending equipment back to the size it was in the '70s and '80s."  The commissioner of the Bud Lite Bubbleboys was also against changing the size of the nets and in favor of bringing back wooden sticks.

Our man out West surely approves.

I have to run now, and apologize for the lack of updates, and this lame one.  Alas, so it goes, on and on.  Anyone else have any news?  The lack of content on the discussion boards is most disturbing...  Or is that somewhat due to the fact that this contest already has a winner?

 - LT
 
 

27 May 03:

And with a 3-2 Game 7 win by the New Jersey Devils last Friday, we have our final matchup for this year - Ducks and Devs.  As a side note, once again, it is ensured that no Canadian team will win the Stanley Cup.  The current draught, 9 seasons beginning with the Hab's win in 1993, is the longest in history, the only rival period being the 6 years between 1936 to 1941 when no team north of the 49th Parallel got their hands on the silver bowl.

With the current and ongoing talent levels of the Dodgers, Kings, Knicks, Rangers, and lack of a pro football franchise, this could be legimately be the closest to a coveted NY-LA championship matchup that any professional sport could have for many, many years.  ABC, ESPN - enjoy it, it is what you've always wanted, isn't it?

So, pick your angle:  the engaged-to-be-wed Jean-Sebastien Giguere vs. the filed-for-divorce Martin Brodeur.  Brother Rob vs. brother Scott Niedermayer, the first sibling matchup of its kind since 1946.  The old men "deserving of an engraving" - Adam Oates, the Ducks No. 1 center, who at 40 is the oldest active player never to have won a Cup, and his teammate, Steve Thomas, 39, and also Cup-less.  Or how about the "trade" factor:  The Ducks traded forward Jeff Friesen and defenseman Oleg Tverdovsky to the Devils for Petr Sykora last July 6th.  Revenge?  And finally, the true X-factor - the matchup of the ex-Sabres defensemen, Keith Carney vs. Richard Smehlik.  This is probably the best watermark there is.  (That is, if Smehlly actually gets into the roster).  And don't discount Devils' pro scout Jan Ludvig, another ex-Blue & Golder.

Then again, since '95, only one Eastern Conference team has won the Cup - the Devils, twice.  This may actually be the only telling stat.  Nonetheless, the latest possible date for Game 7 would be on June 9th at 8PM.  Plan your summer vacations accordingly.

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2003 Top 500 Greatest Oldies of All Time (as designated by WHTT "Oldies 104.1):

1. Satisfaction - Rolling Stones 2. Twist And Shout - Beatles 3. Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley 4.  Good Vibrations - Beach Boys 5.  Oh Pretty Woman - Roy Orbison 6.  Light My Fire - Doors 7.  Hey Jude - Beatles 8.  Rock Around The Clock - Bill Haley & The Comets 9.  My Girl - Temptations 10.  Born To Be Wild - Steppenwolf

The 10 days of rest for the Ducks have enjoyed has only happened 6 times in history before the Cup Finals.  5 of those well-rested teams went on to hoist the silver bowl.  (And if you really care to know, the one and only team that didn't win after such a long rest?  The '99 Buffalo Sabres.)

And like the NHL, our scores have gone way down compared to seasons past, and the field has gotten tighter and tighter.  This year already is the most competitive on record, but as a twist, the Finals for the first time, are meaningless, as your Alternate Captain has, also for the first time, chose wisely, and statistically, has aquired enough points to graduate with the Top Gun Grand Championship Trophy.  I would wait a little while before saluting him, but just know, between you & me, that, barring unforseen disaster, is poised to become our first repeat champion, and be forever enshrined among the rafters and the stars, in the banner hall of fame.

Notwithstanding, I would like to point out honorable kudos to Team Damstetter (and to a lesser extent, Team Loonie).  Both are leading our league in the stat that matters almost as much - most series correctly picked with 9.  I envision a formidable charge from this team in '04...

Speaking of champs, what about New Jersey?  Or more specifically, the YankeeNets Corporation?  This organization owns the Yankees, NJ Nets, and NJ Devils.  With the Yankees storied history, and the way the Nets are playing in the NBA Finals, it could really be the greatest championship trifeca in history.

Before I sign off, I should mention that my typing his being interuppted by another free Battery Park concert that is shaking my walls.  Tonight, for those fans unlucky enough not to score NHL Finals tickets across the river, the Godfather of Soul, James Brown, hardest working man in show business, is performing.  Though I question exactly how good, after all these years, he still feels...

So what did everyone do for the Memoral Day holiday?  I know at least one of you represented Bravo Company and took part in the spirit of the day according to military procedure:  A Veteran's parade terminating at a ceremony in Hamburg Memorial Park on Union and Lake Streets.  Thank you.  Myself, I was larking about in North Eastern Pennsylannia, or Poconos country.  Beautiful land that is.

Later.

 - LT
 
 

22 May 03:

Last night the Ottawa Senators made it back to the summit of the mountain and ended New Jersey's perfect home playoff mark of 8-0 en route to their 2-1 overtime victory.  Vaclav Varada assisting quite ineptly on the goal that forced Friday's Game 7 in Ottawa.  The Sens now try to complete the comeback from being down 3-1, and would become the 20th team in NHL playoff history to do so, the fourth this year and first to do it in the Conference Finals since New Jersey against the Philadelphia in 2000.

A daytime college graduation held at Continental Airlines Arena left holes in the ice in the neutral zone, making for choppy ice that had to be attended to several times during the game.  Nonetheless, both goalies were sharp, with Patrick Lalime, especially, returning to form that took them to the President's Trophy, and Marty Brodeur to a share of the Jennings.

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Buffalo Sabres Retired Numbers:

2 Tim Horton, D, 1972/73-1973/74 7 Rick Martin, LW, 1971/72-1981/82 11 Gilbert Perrault, C, 1970/71-1986/87 14 René Robert, C, 1971/72-1978/79 99 Wayne Gretzky, C, 1979/80-1998/99 (Retired by NHL)

Making matters especially difficult for Marty, in a page right out of the Senator's playbook, that day his lovely wife, Melanie had filed divorce papers.  According to her divorce complaint, she is seeking support for her and the four children and an equitable distribution of all property and payment of all legal fees on grounds of adultery "on numerous occasions at a variety of locations."  She alleges the adultery has been, "ongoing and continuous for a period from the fall of 2002 to present".  That's gotta hurt worse than a puck in the cup.

Speaking of goalies, I would be remiss to fail to mention Dominik Hasek's latest brush with international law on Sunday.  Dom sent a player to the hospital via a savage stick attack, after he was checked during an Czech Inline Hockey Association game in Pardubice sparking a police investigation.  Hasek said he was attacked first by Martin Sila without provocation.  Hasek, like our good friend PacRimMan, was playing as a skater for Bonfire Stirda in a competitive but largely recreational-type league, when he and Sila of SK Pardubice, collided.  No penalty was called.  According to news reports, Hasek then knocked the player down with a cross-check to the back, sat on him, and hit him in the neck several times with his stick, leaving Sila hospitalized in a neurosurgical ward with a broken nose, concussion, and spine contusion.  Sounds like Dom.

Hasek's statement was simply, "I am sorry if he was injured in the scuffle.  If it true, I wish him early recovery.  In any case, I regret that his alleged injuries happened in the following scrum.  If that is the case, I hope he heals soon."  The league's disciplinary committee probably will meet in about two weeks to discuss the incident while local police are checking whether this would qualify as a criminal offense of causing bodily harm.

"I have never seen such unbelievable behavior during my 15-year career, and I would have never expected anything like that from a person of Dominik Hasek's caliber.  I just can't believe it," said Tomas Wutherle, the game's referee and executive board member of the Czech in-line hockey association.  Adding to the possible fallout is that there has been growing speculation in recent weeks that some NHL teams might contact him soon about possibly coming out of retirement for next season.

Jim Kelley had no comment, save for, "I told you so."

Also, following Game 7 on Friday night, Mighty Ducks of Anaheim goaltender Jean-Sebastien Giguere will be featured as a guest on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.  Jiggy, whose postseason heroics have powered the Ducks to the franchise's first-ever Stanley Cup Final, will join other luminary couch guests, Colin Quinn, Jim Belushi and Dan Aykroyd.  What a lineup.

Now help me out here.  According to sources, Giguere supposedly becomes only the second player in the NHL to be welcomed as a guest on The Tonight Show (following Red Wings forward Brendan Shanahan's 1997 appearance after Detroit won the Cup).  I can't believe only two NHLers have ever appeared.  Can we think of any more?  Wayne must've been on at least once, right?

So last night I screened the middle chapter in the Wachowski Brother's sci-fi trilogy, "The Matrix: Reloaded".  While I wasn't blown away by the 1999 original, I enjoyed most of it (and would certainly recommend it), despite the fact that they stole some of my ideas I had been developing for a screenplay.

Nevertheless, part 2 picks up largely where that one left off, though a tonal shift exists in the film as it doesn't quite seem so mysterious, and the fact that the cast has grown 1000-fold isn't really explained.  As with all 'second films' the inital impact of seeing things for the first time gives way to familiary, and runs the danger of staleness of repetition.  Cool outfits, guns, fights, cell phones, etc. are nothing novel anymore, and the story in all honest, confused the hell out of me.  At the climax, when the history of the Matrix and The One is being explained, I was hopelessly lost.  That aside, the action sequences were well done, a bit overdone (I pantomimed a PlayStation controller in my hand more than once), and certain touches - like the Twins and their surprise phase-shifting were visually stunning (even if they did have less screen time and lines than Darth Maul).

All in all, it's a fine popcorn flick, but you may run the disappointment of blowing $9.50 - as it's a fifty-cent storyline, 25-cent dialog, but $5 action piece.  If you liked the first, you can't help but enjoy this - simply more, but less novel.  On my patented 5-star system, "Reloaded" gets 3 1/2.

Last week, I took in another second installment, this time Fox's "X2: X-Men United".  I hate to compare this to the above, but your money's better spent on this one.  Again, pretty much more of the same that was introduced in the first chapter, only a bit more refined as the budget and expectations are up, while audience patience is down.  I found X2 to offer more interesting characters, especially, like in "Spider-Man", when they weren't necessarily performing action.  The everyday life of a superhero is more compelling than watching another cookie-cutter fight ballet.

While this was pretty entertaining -and relatively clever- throughtout, this franchise is running the risk of wearing out its formula too fast:  Similar mutant vs. mutant, each one gets their own action sequence to show off, the Professor gets incapacitated, and worst yet - illogical non-use of powers at certain times.  The other problem with this is that the characters are running the danger of becoming too powerful, which takes away a threat of danger, and makes no sense when they fail to use their known power from to get out of a jam.  (This last sentence could also be added to my Matrix review as well!).

So, aside from illogic (Professor X can kill everything on Earth if he wants to??!!), it was definitely a fun film.  As with the source comic book, Wolverine continues to make a case for his own dark spin-off.

Go see this one.  I'll probably see it once more myself before it leave theaters.  4 1/2 stars, for enjoyment, not smarts.  (and get there early - the opening sequence at the White House is the best part of the film!)

 - LT
 
 

21 May 03:

Two nights ago, teen sensation Jason Spezza, specially recalled from the AHL to play in his first NHL playoff game, had a goal and an assist on Martin Havlat's game-winner as Ottawa won the first elimination game in team history.  With New Jersey's 3-1 defeat, their East finals lead slipped to 3 games to 2.  The best-of-seven series shifts back to New Jersey for Game 6 tonight.

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Young & Older

Ottawa's Jason Spezza, C, was born June 13, 1983. New Jersey's: Scott Stevens, D, was drafted 1982 (WAS, 5th overall, born April 1, 1964). Ken Daneyko, D, was drafted 1982  (NJ, 18th overall, born April 17, 1964). Tommy Albelin, D, was drafted 1983 (QUE, 158th overall, born May 21, 1964).

Spezza, drafted second overall by Ottawa in 2001 after starring for Mississauga in the OHL, was made out to be the story of the game.  But hanging hopes on a nineteen year old may just be a sign that the bottom of the desperation barrel has been reached.  Then again, Marty Brodeur only made 15 saves...

Whatever, on the other side of the continent, because of tonight's Game 6 (and possibly 7), it was assured that the Ducks will have a full 10-day break before having to lace up again for the Finals.  After sweeping Detroit, Anaheim had a seven-day break before taking on the Stars, then had a four-day break before the Wild series.  Can too much rest be a bad thing?  And did anyone watch the presentation of the Clarence S. Campbell Bowl to the Ducks?  It should be mentioned that not only did Captain Kariya not touch the trophy, but in fact, he seemed completely afraid of it.

As usual, I don't have a whole lot to say right now.  I'm off to see "The Matrix: Reloaded".  I'll try to scare up a quick review tomorrow.  (Oh and, yeah, I did see "X2" and I'll try to comment on that too).

 - LT
 
 

19 May 03:

Well not quite there yet, but almost to the home stretch.  I won't say the obvious about the state of this contest (I'll leave it up to you and your TI-99 to mull the remaining numerical combinations), but I've got a bad feeling about this.  A full statistical analysis would be overly premature at this point, and I hate to jinx anything, but with the expected Anaheim clinch on Friday night, and tonight's East Game 5, the Finals could be on us sooner than expected.

To recap, in their 10th year of existance, Jean-Sebastien Giguere and the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim will make their first Stanley Cup finals appearance when they face either New Jersey or Ottawa for the right to desecrate a silver bowl.  Anaheim is trying to become the first franchise to win the Cup in its first finals appearance, since Colorado did it in 1996.  I'm proud of the Ducks, and the only guarantee from here on out, is that they will enter the Finals as underdogs.

For tonight's game, Ottawa is 0-6 when facing elimination while Jersey is 8-0 when it has a 3-1 series lead.  And just to show that you can prove anything by using stats, 3 teams have already rallied from 3-1 in the playoffs this year.  However, there have never been 4 teams to do so in one season.

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Coach Bobby Finstock's Corner:

"I have three rules which I live by: 1.  Never get less than 12 hours sleep 2.  Never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city. 3. And never go near a lady with a tattoo of a dagger on her hand. Now you stick with that, and everything else is cream cheese."

So what went wrong for the Sens?  Well, firstly, Patrick Lalime has been terrible.  I suspect marital fidelity, as it seems to make goaltenders play bad.  Secondly, Hossa and Alfredsson, the high scorers, have been neutered.  And finally, the V factor, Vaclav Varada hasn't been getting enough the ice time in order to warm up and take control of any game.  He usually requires about 75-80 minutes of icetime before he's firing on all cylinders.  (P.S.  GM Muckler and Coach Martin:  Why don't you let Rob Ray play?  What was the point of trading for him?)

Today in Battery Park, there was an impromptu lunchtime musical act sponsored by the FDNY.  The free "Concert to Save Firehouses," slated for one hour and lasting less, drew a substantial crowd (and "substantial" in no way is describing the amount) featured rocker Sammy Hagar.  My ears and loins are still ringing.  On a side note, the show was originally slated for a noon kick-off, but the tequila-loving former VH frontman accidentally arrived several hours earlier, due to the fact that the vehicle he was operating failed to adhere to the state-mandated speed limits.

Finally, a little history:

Yesterday afternoon, ESPN Classic aired Game 6 of the 1975 Stanley Cup Finals, live on tape from Memorial Auditorium, in a more innocent age.  It was a treat to see the old Aud, the familiar (and not so) faces, the differing rules, the slow pace, and poor skating abilities.  In fact, I think the term "heroes of hockey" aptly described them.  It was not fun, however, to once again witness another team hoist Stanley in a downtown Buffalo building, following a Game 6.

On Friday, the Dallas Stars placed center/winger Pierre Turgeon on waivers following a career-worst 12-goal season.  History.  How Sabre-esque.

And just over one year ago today,"Attack of the Clones" debuted in theaters across North America.  Which quickly evokes many memories of that unique time.  Where were you, in '02?

 - LT
 
 

15 May 03:

Last night Jean-Sebastien Giguere continued his playoff brilliance by posting his third straight shutout en route to the Ducks' 4-0 victory over the Wild.  As it's been said before, Jiggy has been Hasek-esque, and the Ducks are bringing fond memories back to Sabres fans.  However, unlike the '99 Sabres, I have no fear for the Ducks - that is to say, never am I worried that they will lose.  Each game in '99, I felt Buffalo was out-classed and constantly feared that we'd never score and Dom would have a bad night.  No such feelings this time around.  Why is that?

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Fast Fact:  The One & Only

There are 17 states that have towns named "Buffalo".  16 of them, stretching from Montana to Ohio, form a connected chain of states across the USA.  The 16 are: Wyoming, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Iowa, Minnesota, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Indiana, Michigan, and Ohio. There would be 18 connected states if there was a Buffalo in Pennsylvania, since that would then link Ohio to New York, which has the lonely 17th (or first) Buffalo.  Pennsylvania has the towns of "New Buffalo" and "Buffalo Mills", but they hardly count.

The Ducks now have a commanding 3-0 series lead and are only one win away from their first ever trip to the Stanley Cup finals.  But J.S. has really been the story.  With a total of 98 saves in the series, Giguere became the first goalie in the modern era to log three straight shutouts in Conference Finals play, and became the sixth man in NHL history get three shutouts in a row in any round.  A stunning 11-2 record in the playoffs, the Ducks can sweep Minnesota with a victory Friday night in Anaheim.

Giguere is tied with 13 others with four playoff shutouts, two shy of Dominik Hasek's mark, set last year for Detroit.  (yeah, yeah).  He also extended his shutout streak to 213 minutes, 17 seconds, going back to the third period of Game 6 from the last round.  The all-time playoff record is 248:32, set by Detroit's Normie Smith in 1936.  Therefore, Jiggy has only 35:15 to go for the record, which would place the target time to reach with 4:44 remaining in the second period of the upcoming Game 4.  Why not?  I hope to see him do it.

While the Wild rallied from 3-1 series deficits in their previous two rounds, only two teams have come back from 3-0:  The 1975 Islanders rallied to beat Pittsburgh in the quarterfinals, and the '42 Leafs came back to beat Detroit in the Stanley Cup finals.

Tonight, the Devils host the Senators in Game 3 of the East Finals, where New Jersey is 6-0 at home this postseason.  However, Martin Brodeur's home record, away from the ice, is not so good.

I have nothing interesting to say at this point, so I won't bother.  Where is everybody?

 - LT
 
 

13 May 03:

And so Round 3 is underway in parts up north and more north.  So how are these teams similar?  And how are they different?  Well, it's a tale of 3 vs. 1.  Only Ottawa plays in a small market.  While East Rutherford and Anaheim don't really in and of themselves, qualify, as they leach off of the large municipalities around them, they suddenly are large market scale.  All of the teams have low payrolls, Ottawa and Minnesota among the league's very bottom.

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2003 NHL Playoff Scoring* *Among Active Players

Player Team GP G A Pts. 1. Marian Gaborik MIN 16 9 8 17 2. Wes Walz MIN 16 7 6 13 3. Sergei Zholtok MIN 16 2 11 13 4. Jamie Langenbrunner NJ 11 7 5 12 5. Andrew Brunette MIN 16 6 6 12 6. Marian Hossa OTT 12 5 7 12 7. John Madden NJ 11 4 7 11 8. Martin Havlat OTT 12 4 5 9 9. Scott Niedermayer NJ 11 2 7 9 10. Pascal Dupuis MIN 15 4 4 8 All stats as of 12-May-03

However, most key is that all the teams, save Ottawa, play a dizzying defensive style.  Like a squad of Lt. Tom Kazanskis, the Ducks, Wild, and Devils could all be called "Icemen", and not because of the playing surface.  They all play ice cold and relatively mistake-free.  They wait and wait, and wait some more, until someone makes a mistake, and then they take their opportunities.  (And Ottawa, while probably the most offensive, is hardly run-and-gun.  They play their own version of the trap pretty seriously, but in comparison to the others, they are the biggest cowboys out there.  Plus, they boast the Varada factor...)  In a nutshell, these teams have all the makings of some low scoring and dare I say, dull, games.

Last night, Anaheim kept the train a-rollin' with another shutout of the Wild.  This is the third time in as many playoff series that the Ducks have opened on the road and won the first two games in the other team's building.  They are now 6-1 on the road, a mark even better than the Wild and their road-centric performances.  Tonight, New Jersey looks to square their series in our neighbor's nation's capital.

Speaking of which, I failed to mention the brewing scandal first aired out back on April 26th, after Game 2 of the Devils' Quarterfinals series against Tampa Bay.  This was when Martin Brodeur confirmed reports that he and his wife, Melanie, who have four young children, have been living apart since Christmas.  Add to that the salacious story that the Quebecois goaltender was having a torid affair with his sister-in-law (after she was separated from her husband).  Also, allegations were flying that Brody was being squeezed for $9 million in alimony by his cold wife.

Marty denied the alimony extortion report, and another that his wife had caught him & his SIL at an Ottawa hotel, but he did say she has since made her own attempts at distracting him.  "Women are also capable of being mean." he said. "When she calls me 2 hours before a game to say 'Tonight, I'm going out with a guy,' it's not easy to concentrate, especially when I know the guy.  But let's say I know what she's trying to do."

So what do you think about the all-star and his game play now?  Who knew he had such added pressure?  I'd say it's a wonder he can concentrate at all, but then again, his SIL offers some pretty soothing comforts...

Perhaps a fan's recently spotted home-made sign summed it up best:

"Tickets to a Stanley Cup playoff game: $95.
Alimony demand from your wife: $9 million.
Sex with your sister-in-law:  Priceless."

Priceless stuff, indeed.

 - LT
 
 

9 May 03:

Who woulda thunk it?  (Besides, Matt, apparently?)  Minnesota completes their second straight rally being down 3-1 in the series and eliminates the Canucks.  Even after trailing 2-0 midway in the second period, they manage to bag four in a row and win the game, the sixth potential elimination game they've faced this year (the record is 8, achieved by the 1975 New York Islanders).  What a story.  (And how quickly it overshadows Anaheim's tale of their own, worthy almost of a Disney adaptation.  Oh wait.)

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NHL Superskills Results: Fastest Skater

2003 - Marian Gaborik, 13.713 sec.< 2002 - Sami Kapanen, 14.039 sec. 2001 - Bill Guerin, 13.690 sec. 2000 - Sami Kapanen, 13.649 sec. 1999 - Peter Bondra, 14.640 sec. 1998 - Scott Niedermayer, 13.560 sec. 1997 - Peter Bondra, 13.610 sec. 1996 - Mike Gartner, 13.386 sec. 1995 - ALL-STAR GAME CANCELED 1994 - Sergei Fedorov, 13.525 sec.< 1993 - Mike Gartner, 13.510 sec. 1992 - Sergei Fedorov, 14.363 sec.< 1989 - Steve Deisig, 2 min, 45 sec.>

So as the pundits are saying, is this really case of two Cinderellas?  Or would it be more appropriate to say David vs. Cinderella?  Regardless, this AHL Final, I mean, Western Conference Final should be a defensive wet dream, the likes of which we really haven't seen before.  There haven't been this many no-names on a hockey rink since an off-day on Court B...

While everyone's saying the path to a Stanley Cup is easier this year, don't necessarily discount Anaheim and Minnesota.  Afterall, Detroit, Dallas, Colorado, and Vancouver are hardly slouch teams, and eliminating them was no small task.  Although the Western 6th or 7th seed will eventually have to face the Eastern 1st or 2nd, there's still some surprises and quality hockey around the corner.

And what of the other series?  The Sens and Devs are actually more similar than most would like to believe, and makes for quite an even pairing.  The Madden-Langenbrunner line for Jersey has been outstanding, and dare I even suggest, Bartholdesque?  Regardless, the whole of Canada has now been relegated to a unilateral battle cry: "Go, Ottawa!"

Game 1 of the East Finals has been rescheduled for the night game (moved from 3pm to 7pm EDT) on Saturday, and as a reminder...  all picks are due asap, and definitely before faceoff.  Late picks are subject to adjusted weighting, penalty, or outright disqualification.

So now that the Semis are on the books, what of our performances this past round?  Well, Team Latona has always been synonomous with "performance", and as required in the clutch, came through to pull into the lead (or second place if you count those 2 other half teams) by banging home 3 of the 4 series, and getting the only bonus points awarded in the round.  The men have certainly been seperated from they boys, as the powerhouses from the first round, Teams Blaser & Kelley were soundly embarrassed, and were only able to come up with the NJ series.  The tables and tides continue to turn.  Finally, shout outs to Teams Damstetter and Loonie, both hitting on 3 to stay right in the thicke of things.  Take note everyone, bonus points are drying up fast, and look to play a huge role in thinning out the pack.  Stay tuned.

That's it for me today.  I'm off to Big D (the one in Texas, not Cali) tomorrow for the weekend.  Enjoy.

 - LT
 
 

8 May 03:

Another wild one last night from Xcel, as Minnesota staved off elimination for the fifth time this postseason and smacked the Canucks around for the second game in a row en route to their 5-1 victory.  The Wild look to complete the comeback tonight in Game 7.  I tell you, watching the underdogs out West really makes me feel for them.  Even though I picked Vancouver, I'm pulling for Minnie.  In a weird way, they remind me of the Hamburg Kings.  Well, except for the winning...

Go Wild!   (Which reminds me - could the popularity of Minnesota's hockey team and the sales records being smashed by the similarly-named documentary video series, "Girls Gone Wild", by chance, be related?  Anyone catch the latest installment of said series, the particular volumen titled, I believe, "Doggy Style"?)

[As I type this, Robbie Williams (no, Robbie) is performing his hit 1998 song, "Millennium" (which samples Nancy Sinatra's "You Only Live Twice") for soundcheck across the street from my office.  It's so loud that my office windows are rattling from the stage at Battery Park below.  It's all in preparation for tomorrow's TriBeCa Film Festival's free outdoor concert.]

Anyhow, as the Conference Finals are slated to begin on Saturday afternoon, all picks are obviously due prior to the first faceoff, which is at 3pm EDT.  You may want to submit picks ASAP (ie. Friday), considering both are coming due immediately.  You know, just in case you're actually doing something this weekend or may be away from a computer, it would be appreciated if they were e-mailed sooner than later.  (And as it's a Saturday, there'll be no phoning them in this time.  And you know who I'm talking about...)

Finally, not that this is news or anything, but from the "a guy can hope, can't he?" files, I just found out that my brother-in-law was recently contacted by none other than Larry Quinn, managing partner of a certain Western New York hockey team which shall remain nameless.  Apparently, Mr. Quinn, reviled as he may be, always took a shine to Martin and liked his work.  Quinn's phone call began (probably half joking), "Well are you gonna come work with me or what?"  We'll see what happens.  As any good free agent should do, testing the market is paramount.  I only mention this because my dried up well of ticket connections may actually have some tasty beverages left in it afterall...   (Well, I can dream can't I?  Besides, I don't think Blaser's badge is big enough for all of us....)

Anyhow boys, as usual, at ease.

 - LT
 
 

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The Queen is Dead (Had I still been posting the News Page, the following story would have appeared as follows.)

Thursday 1 May 2003 Elizabeth Hulette, 42, was pronounced dead early Thursday morning at a local hospital in Cobb County, GA, due to an alleged drug overdose.  Police responded to a 911 call at 5:30 that morning to the home of Lawrence "Larry" Pfohl for a ''sick woman''.  Hulette was unresponsive when police were summoned to the home off Powder Springs Road.  The woman was rushed to Kennestone Hospital, but it was not in time to save her.  Both Hulette and Pfohl were previously in the Sports Entertainment business, and were better known under their stage names of "Lex Luger" and "Miss Elizabeth".  Making this situation even murkier was the fact that police were recently called to Pfohl's house on Easter Sunday for a domestic violence complaint.  This time it should be noted, that the house showed no evidence of foul play, and Luger was questioned and released by police soon after Hulette's death.  However, a search of the house turned up various ''body enhancing'' drugs, and Luger was promptly arrested on charges of drug possession.  He posted bail, and is now free on bond. A former beauty queen, Hulette met and married professional wrestler Randy Poffo in her early 20s.  Poffo was also in Sports Entertainment, and performed under the name "'Macho Man' Randy Savage".  Most recently, he completely redefined himself as "Bone Saw" in Sony's 2002 feature "Spider-Man".  When the former  World Wrestling Federation (now "World Wrestling Entertainment") hired Poffo, Hulette was hired along with him, serving as his on-air manager, and later, valet.  "Miss Elizabeth" was usually the primary plot points for many of Savage's feuds, playing up the jealousy angle at others whom he felt was making ''improper advances'' toward her. That jealously, however, spread to the locker room and off the script pages, as well.  Poffo was known to keep Hulette quartered away from everyone else, and would often go into rages if anyone tried to approach to her.  This eventually led to the couple's divorce in the early 90s. By the time her marriage with Poffo ended, she left the Sports Entertainment business entirely in 1992 and, for several years, led a ''normal'' life.  She re-married a lawyer and was content away from the bright lights of fame.  However, her second marriage too, ended, and the lure of the business brought her back. When World Championship Wrestling (the "WCW") hired Poffo in 1995, the congomerate also hired Hulette along with him.  WCW used their real-life divorce as a basis for a storyline, with Hulette at Richard Fliehr's side, who would brag about spending Poffo's "alimony money".  Fliehr performed under the name of "Ric Flair".  In 1996, the New World Order ("nWo") formed, and Hulette left Fliehr and the "Four Horsemen" to join the nWo and initially became Terry Bolea's valet.  Bolea, too used a stage name, this time "'Hollywood' Hulk Hogan".  When Poffo joined the nWo in 1997, she was reunited with her ex-husband on-air, although their marriage was never reunited. Eventually, Hulette became the valet for Pfohl when he too, joined the nWo in 1999.  She and Pfohl began dating each other outside work, and the couple was paired together on the air for the next few years until Hulette was quietly released before WCW was sold to Vince McMahon in 2001.  Other than a few random appearances with Pfohl, Hulette never returned to sports entertainment. The WWE released this statement on their webiste, regarding her death:      ''We are saddened to hear of the death of Elizabeth Hulette.  Miss Hulette played the very popular character of Miss       Elizabeth in WWE from 1985 to 1992. She finished her career at WCW, from Jan. 1996 through Jan. 1999.  We at       WWE send our sincere condolences to Miss Hulette's family.''     In the shared spirit of mourning, I find it necessary to release our own press release:     "We at the Heroes of Hockey, Hamburg Kings, and Bravo Co., fans of professional Sports Entertainment since its 'golden age'      some twenty years ago, are shocked, saddened, and grief-stricken to learn of the passing of Elizabeth Hulette.  While we did      not have direct knowlege of her to speak of publicly, we admired her work, dedication, and embodiment of her character's role.      Elizabeth, in one shape or another, surely played some role in our development as men, and our understanding of the fairer      sex.  From her initial burst onto the map through the collision of the Mega Powers, to the loss of her yellow mini-skirt, her      influence and gamesmanship will not be equaled, nor easily forgotten.      Our best wishes go out to her family, friends, and fans, and if need be, we will take it upon ourselves to see that any parties      responsible for her death will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of martial law.      While she may have been known by many people - and many men - by many personalities in many places, Elizabeth Hulette      will forever be known to us as simply, "Miss Elizabeth, the First Lady of Wrestling".

 

6 May 03:

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed it's been a little quiet around here?

Well, 3/4s of the NHL's final four have been properly identified, making us a game or two from the halfway point in the long and twisted road to Stanley's place.

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Buffalo Bills  Wall of Fame

Eddie Abramoski  Joe Delamielleure  Elbert Dubenion  Joe Ferguson  Kent Hull Robert James  Bob Kalsu  Jim Kelly Jack Kemp  Marv Levy  Patrick J. McGroder  George Saimes  Tom Sestak  Billy Shaw O.J. Simpson  Fred Smerlas Mike Stratton Ralph Wilson  "The 12th Man"

Last Friday, the New Jersey Devils eliminated the Tampa Bay Lightning in a 2-1 triple-overtime victory in Game 5, setting a record 8th multiple-overtime standard for the playoffs.  Many more are surely to come.  The Devils got a few day's rest before last night's three potential elimination games even began.  Once the dust was settled though, two teams had dropped out, and the Eastern Conference Final matchup was set:  Top-seeded President's Trophy-winning Ottawa will host second-seeded New Jersey (as it should be) for the right to carry a silver bowl into the fast food restaurant or cat-house of their choice.  Quite an honor.  (or as Joe Duffy was known to coin, "get honor, and stay on 'er".

In the late games, first and foremost, Cinderella struck again as the Fowl Towels were out in force, and the Ducks became just the second team in league history to topple the top two seeds in the same playoff year.  Sandis Ozolinsh scored with 1:06 remaining in a wild third period giving Anaheim a 4-3 victory and eliminating top-seeded Dallas 4 games to 2 - exactly as I predicted.

Did anyone else notice how the Stars looked at the final fog horn?  Not dejected, upset, relieved, or even congratulatory.  Instead, I can only classify it as "confused" - as if something had gone awry - as if a WWE heel didn't take the fall the script called for - or as if Gary Bettman himself had assured them that he'd take care of their Cup run as in year's past...

In the other game, Minnesota scored five unanswered goals in second period, keeping alive for another day as they looking to become the first team to overcome a 3-1 series deficit, twice in the same postseason against the Canucks.  Game 6 coming up Wednesday night in St. Paul.

With the strange turnabout of events and the top three seeds in the West (the NHL's "premier" teams) out of the playoffs, for the first time in a decade, an Eastern team will be the favorite for the Cup.  Just another reminder of how ANY team from the East probably had their best shot - in history - this year, and most likely, this year only.

I won't do a full analysis at this point as it would be premature with open game(s) still remaining in the Vancouver-Minnesota series, but I should comment that suddenly the leader board in our contest has dramatically changed landscapes, and an old superpower has reemerged, at least for the time being.  Team Kelly was unwise to take their picks so lightly when they nursed a big lead last round, and as much as I hate to say it, from here on in as the field tightens and the points get scarce, strategy will most likely prove to be the deciding factor between the euphoria of immortality (well, at least as long as this 'internet' thing is still around) and the mediocrity of shameful futility.

Hop to it.

 - LT
 
 

29 April 03:

So, John Tortorella and his the Tampa Bay Lightning even their series against New Jersey 2-1 last night, with Andey getting the game winner on a nice give & go.  The Sabs may be gone, but not forgotten.  And the Ducks finally showing their human side, dropping their playoff game to Dallas in their series.

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Top 10 Benefits of K. Blaser Joining the Sheriff's Dept.

10. Officer, are you extending any courtesies? 9.  A flashed badge is just as good a season tickets to HSBC. 8.  From now on, when he says, "Greetings fellow officer", he means it. 7.  Reclaimation of one Crosman Z-77 CO2 UZI - from the inside. 6.  The al-Quaeda threat in WNY has effectively been neutralized. 5.  A badge and a piece is as good as an E-ZPass across the Rainbow Bridge. 4.  Can finally get a Jim Kelly autograph, while guarding the drunk tank. 3.  Three words:  tasers & handcuffs. 2.  Now at least, Matt's yells of "Copsucker!" has an intended target. 1.  At last, someone to fill the post vacated by Joe Muldowney at Das German beer tent.

On an administrative note, if you noticed, Jim Kelley never submitted his pick for the winner of the Ottawa-Philly series.  Apparently Mr. NHL Mover & Shaker feels he can still win this contest without even having to bet on all the games.  Well, we defer to his confidence, if can call it that, and will allow his "no contest" decision to stand.  Team Kelley has forfeited that series as far as we're concerned.  That said, if one of you losers still can't beat him in the end, there'll be someone to answer to.  That's all I have to say about this.

In other news, last night I realized that I never screened the 20th official Bond film, "Die Another Day", making it the only one (not counting the pre-EON production and Peter Sellers spoof, "Casino Royale") of the twenty-one James Bond films I haven't seen, and first since 1985's "A View to a Kill" that I haven't seen in a theatre with K. Blaser.  I was wondering who among you also failed to see the latest one?  And while I'm on the topic, I'm wonding if Purcell ever caught "Episode II", with it now having been theatrically released two times, and widely available on DVD and VHS.  So, have you?

Anyway, all of us here at the HoH offices are hoping K. Blaser's first two days on the job have been fruitful and satisfying, despite the requisite ribbing he's been getting.  We're hoping it's been going well, and wondering if in fact, that is indeed the case.  Please fill us in.  And if you have time, howsabout another "Breakdown" column, if you find the time!

 - LT
 
 

25 April 03:

I've been thinking about what a treat, for pro hockey fans, that the playoffs are, especially the early rounds.

1 2 3 OT 2OT 3OT 4OT 5OT F Ducks 1 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 4 Stars 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 3 Shots Ducks 10 11 6 8 6 7 5 1 54 Stars 4 8 11 5 12 17 6 0 63

You get (usually) competitive, desperate, fast-paced hockey, and two games a night, at that.  This year, we've been treated to many extended games that go into the wee hours in the Maritimes, and last night was no exception.  Anaheim's Petr Sykora's goal 48 seconds into the 8th period of quintuple overtime, the fourth-longest game in NHL history - that ESPN was quick to remind you - was quite a feast as the Ducks beat the Stars 4-3.

Sabres fans, still smarting from "No Goal '99", surely felt deja vu down their spine, when the officials made a controversial call, revoking an Anaheim goal in the 6th period, ruling that the net had lifted off the Marsh Pegs.  What was the deal with that?

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Longest NHL Overtime Games

Date Result Time Scorer 1 3/24/36 Det 1, MTL MAROONS 0 116:30 Mud Bruneteau 2 4/3/33 TOR 1, Bos 0 104:46 Ken Doraty 3 5/4/00 Phi 2, PIT 1 92:01 Keith Primeau  4 4/24/03 Ana 4, DAL 3 80:48 Petr Sykora  5 4/24/96 Pit 3, WAS 2 79:15 Petr Nedved 6 3/23/43 Tor 3, DET 2 70:18 Jack McLean  7 3/28/30 MON 2, NY Rangers 1 68:52 Gus Rivers 8 4/18/87 NY Islanders 3, WAS 2 68:47 Pat LaFontaine 9 4/27/94 BUF 1, New Jersey 0 65:43 Dave Hannan 10 3/27/51 Mon 3, DET 2 61:09 Maurice Richard (Home team in CAPS)

Today, I also learned that NHL2Night's very own Ray "Chicken Parm" Ferraro is "dating" Team USA Olympian Cammi Granato, captain of the 1998 gold-medal women's hockey squad.  Anyone whose ever doubted his opinions, or for that matter, tastes, have no need to wonder any longer.  Yeesh.  The only difference between Cammi and Tony is about 3 inches.  ...And I'm referring to their reach.

So, anybody got any plans for this weekend?  Besides Blaser's binge night?  Ah yes, I would be remiss to fail to comment upon our Alternate Captain's new choice of vocation.  Firstly, congratulations.  You've left the world of sporting goods retail.  Secondly, be glad about that, and take some pride in the job.  You know, "the few, the proud" - oh wait, that's the Marines...   Thirdly, you'll get a first-hand account of the seedy underbelly that is Buffalo crime.  Ever watch "COPS"?  You'll practically be livin' it now.  Well, at least the scumbag part of it.

Nonetheless, do us all proud.  "You have taken your first step into a larger world."

And I'd like to make it clear that you're sti1l a civilian, so regardless of what you're told, we will not salute you.

Happy weekend.

 - LT
 
 

23 April 03:

As the late Badger Bob would surely agree, it was a great night for hockey.  Two teams clawed back from a 3-1 series

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VH1's 100 Greatest Love Songs (2002)

100 Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison 99  Hero - Enrique Iglesias 98  I Need Love - LL Cool J 97  Nobody Wants To Be Lonely - Ricky Martin 96  I Just Want To Be Your Everything - Andy Gibb 95  It Must Have Been Love - Roxette

deficit (which no longer seems all that rare in the past 15 years) and we enter the second stage of the post season.  Running the numbers, we took some hits in the Western Conference, Team Kelley's columns are full of red, and the outcomes of those "sure things" really did a number on our bonus picks.  And for those of you holding tickets, the annual Detroit vs. Colorado matchup is not to be.

How 'bout them Wild?  And those Ducks?  Paving a path out West that must surely be making any Eastern team salivate.  If only Buffalo were invited...  Not having to deal with Colorado, mighty Detroit, St. Louis...  Oh well, a bunch of cast off scrubs behind stellar goaltending can really turn heads.  It used to be, in the past, that the Playoffs were the great equalizer, and over seven games, the cream really rose to the top;  where the best teams really won, and proved it.  These days, with your Minnesotas, Anaheims, and Carolinas, it really goes to show that whoever's hottest with the stingiest defensive system, well, they're the ones to move on.

Anyhow, there's not much energy today, and the board's have been quiet;  too quiet.  Where is everyone?

As you're aware, picks are due before Thursday night, and for those keeping track, the last possible date of a Game 7 in the second round is May 8, which would see Vancouver host Minnesota.

All for today.

-  LT
 
 

22 April 03:

What a difference a weekend makes.  I go away for a couple of days and come back to all of this...  what gives?  So,

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NHL All-Time Comebacks After Being Down 3 Games to 1

2000   Eastern Conf. Final  NJ def. PHI 1999   Western Conf. Quarterfinals  STL def. PHO 1998   Western Conf. Quarterfinals  EDM def. COL 1995   Eastern Conf. Quarterfinals  PIT def. WAS 1994   Western Conf. Quarterfinals  VAN def. CAL 1992   Patrick Division Semifinals  PIT def. WAS 1992   Smythe Division Semifinals  VAN def. WIN 1992   Norris Division Semifinals  DET def. MIN 1991   Norris Division Semifinals  STL def. DET 1990   Smythe Division Semifinals  EDM def. WIN 1989   Smythe Division Semifinals  LA def. EDM 1988   Patrick Division Semifinals  WAS def. PHI 1987   Norris Division Semifinals  DET def. TOR 1987   Patrick Division Semifinals  NYI def. WAS 1975   Stanley Cup Quarterfinals  NYI def. PIT 1942   Stanley Cup Finals  TOR def. DET

with half of the Top Gun points up for grabs this round, five of the 8 series have concluded, some as expected, others not exactly.  Who can't enjoy seeing the Ducks flap the Wings?  Devs, Sens, Stars, ho hum, Lightning, good for them.

However, we look ahead to tonight, where three Game 7's go down.  Game 7's pretty much epitomize everything that's right about the Stanley Cup Playoffs.  All the eggs in one basket, do or die, sudden death.  Three games tonight, to conclude the quarterfinals and round out the seedings and we'll be all set.  Wild at 'Lanche, Leafs at Flyers, Blues at 'Nucks.  Oddly, two of those games coming some16 hours after Game 6's in rare back-to-back nights.  The surprising Minnesota Wild, along with the Vancouver Canucks both try to complete 3 games to 1 comebacks as well.  As for the overtime situations, there have been pleny so far, so I would expect a potentially long night ahead.

We can begin to look ahead to the seeding for next round, and I suggest you begin to formulate your picks:  Ottawa will take on Philly or Toronto, Jersey is readying for Tampa, Dallas will face the Ducks, and Colorado or Minnesota will play Vancouver or St. Louis (whom are fending off a locker room flu-like virus.  I don't wanna say SARS, but you never know...).

I recommend you think about your picks simply because of the scoring situation.  I should come with a degree of shock and awe that one James Kelley is far and away leading the pack and that's not something to take lightly.  It should also be noted that flipping a coin would have yielded better results so far than all of our picks...

Finally, as you can plainly see, I've returned from the Nevada desert, only slightly lighter in the wallet, with plenty of fond memories.  What a town.  Plenty of memories of our '99 excursion there came rushing back, and I can only hope to repeat that in the near future.  Think about it...

-  LT
 
 

16 April 03:

On a clear sunny day when my city is nearly 90 degrees farenheit - 30 degrees hotter than Northern Californiaa, and 50 degrees hotter than my hometown on a Great Lake, I look to a game played on a frozen surface, originating in the freezing tundra, for stimulating conversation.  Fascinating times we are living in, indeed.

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Winningest coaches in Sabres' history as of 04/07/03

Lindy Ruff 216-204-71 Scotty Bowman 210-134-60  Floyd Smith 143- 62-36  John Muckler 125-109-34  Ted Sator 96- 89-22

So things are shaping up very interesting in the 2003 postseason.  Tonight, the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim and their all-world goaltender Jean-Sebastien Giguere look to do what was formerly believed unthinkable:  sweep the highly-favored and defending Stanley Cup champion Detroit Red Wings out of the history books.  Can you believe it?  A bunch of no-names can be pretty exciting at times, eh?  Not that I'm on the Duck bandwagon (anyone whose seen the games knows how badly they've been outplayed and how many goal posts have been rung), but I'm always up for the underdog.  As a Buffalo sports fan, it's pretty well inbred.  Should the Ducks win tonight at Arrowhead Pond, it would be only the second time in NHL history that a defending champion was swept the next season.  Go Ducks!!  Hopefully they'll unveil the dreaded "flying V" formation at some point tonight.

In other games, there have been an alarming abundance of multiple overtime games, and I don't forsee this changing anytime soon.  Sometimes there's nothing better than tuning into some sudden death hockey at 1 AM (for us east coasters at least)   Boston staved off elimination for another day at least, in their win over the Devils, and in today's installment of Past Sabres:  Where are they now, former Captain Stuuuuu Barnes bagged the game winner for Dallas last night on a quirky behind-the-net bank shot, as the Stars evened their series with Edmonton.  Former Buffalo defenseman Philippe Boucher had an assist on the goal.

Also, anyone catch the grisly scene on Monday night when Alexander Mogilny, the NHL point and goal leader, with has five goals in three games, suffered a very disturbing injury from a J.R. high-stick?  He could barely stand to leave the ice.  It was vaguely reminiscent of his playoff broken leg sustained behind Darren Puppa many years ago.  He looked like he just got done with a patented Gerry Meehan late-night thrashing after teaching his daughters Russian lessons.  Truly a devistating loss for the Leafs.  Alex has been scratched from tonight's Game 4 due to concussion-like symptoms, and we here at the HoH wish him a speedy recovery.

And lastly in hockey news, Minnesota celebrated their first NHL playoff game in over a decade the other night, stuffing 19,354 - a state record hockey crowd - into the Xcel Energy Center (which has a capacity of only 18,064 - go figure.)

Finally, before I sign off for the night, I should mention that tomorrow, I'm travelling on an trip of mercy, with a mission to subsidize the Nevada Gaming Commisson.  I expect to return, in somewhat different finances, late Sunday night.  Therefore, this site will remain static until at least Monday.  I say this because it is conceivable that all series could finish before I return.  In the unlikely event that the Conference Semifinals begin on Sunday or Monday, all contestants are still required to submit their picks prior to the first faceoff of the first game of the second round.  As a security measure, should this be the case, please submit your picks to the following 2 e-mail addresses:  jlatona@hotmail.com and james.latona@fitchratings.com.

Thank you, and enjoy the holiday weekend.  At ease.

-  LT
 
 

14 April 03:

Anybody else feeling like the playoffs are a bit dull this year?  Not dull in the sense that the hockey isn't high-paced and skilled, but that something intangible is lacking?  I suppose it has something to do with the fact that the Red & Black, for the second year in a row, are absent, and it's hard to get excited about somebody else's good fortune.  Last year, I think I was able to sustain, or should I say, fake it, better, and be able to put on a semblance of Cup Craziness, but in Spring 2003, well, maybe it's just a younger man's game.  Funny how it would take so little to mean so much, but alas, so goes life.

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R.I.P. Johnny -- 4/11/03

"I don't understand...  I was the picture of health"

Getting back to what I alluded to before, there actually has been some very entertaining hockey, if that's your thing.  The Red Wings are in trouble, or at least, it's fun to imagine that's the case.  Granted, they were in exactly the same position a year ago (lost the first 2 games at the Joe), only to win four straight and bounce the surprising Canucks out of the postseason.  Honestly though hockey fans, does anyone believe the Ducks have got what it takes to move on?

The only possible sweep candidate left are the Devils, with a commanding 3-0 series lead over the rudderless B's.  This one should be over soon.  Bruins players can get their razors ready.

In another "surprising" turn of events, the much-maligned new-look Oilers have shocked Big D, pulling ahead 2 games to 1 with a chance to take a commanding lead with the upcoming game at SkyReach.  Say what you will, but a haunted dressing room can do wonders for a team.  Just ask the Montreal Canadiens.  Or for that matter, the Buffalo Sabres...

In the most dull of series, Washington is flogging the Bolts, and no one seems to be noticing.  That said, I'll waste no more copy space here...

What about this Ottawa-Long Island matchup?  Loaded with former Buffalo "role" (read: low scoring) players, this series has been one lopsided game after another.  The game on Saturday looked like NY couldn't wait to get out of the building - unfortunatly for them, this malaise set in sometime early in the second period.  In their defense, the Sens played as if they couldn't wait for the Isles to get out either, and idly passed the puck from defensive zone to neutral zone, and back, over and over.

Without analyzing every series at this point, I would be remiss not to at least mention how well the Wild are playing in the Mile High City, and how the lone "old tyme" hockey matchup (Toronto-Philly) is proving to be just that.  Then again, have you ever watched one of those old games from the '50s?
 

Before I sign off for a Monday, I should warn all of you to avoid the Martin-Latifah vehicle, "Bringing Down the House", which is currently playing in theaters.  You'd be better off donating the money to the S. Deisig Foundation for Hunger and Women.  And finally, please join me in a deep inhale of a Cohiba, to honor the passing of John Butler, the largely unsung architect of the Bills' AFC Championship teams.  A man with an insatiable appetite for life and football.  May you rest in peas, er, peace.

-  LT
 
 

11 April 03:

Anybody catch any of the games last night?  That Detroit-Anaheim triple overtime thrilla was a real beaut, 

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Vegas Odds to Win Stanley Cup  as of 8 April 2003

Team Detroit Ottawa Dallas Colorado New Jersey Philadelphia Vancouver Toronto St. Louis Tampa Bay Washington Boston Edmonton Minnesota Anaheim NY Islanders Buffalo           Current 5-2 9-2 5-1 6-1 9-1 9-1 9-1 15-1 20-1 20-1 20-1 35-1 50-1 55-1 60-1 60-1 1-1 Opening 3-1 16-1 20-1 9-2 12-1 7-1 20-1 10-1 11-1 125-1 25-1 25-1 25-1 100-1 100-1 14-1 89,000-1

highlighted by Jean-Sebastien Giguere's 63 saves (20 in the first overtime), the most any goalie has stopped in an extra period, and

setting an NHL record for stops in a playoff debut.  Then the upstart Wild, in its first postseason, beating the mightly Avs 4-2.  As much as I would like to see the heavy underdog Ducks prevail, anybody who watched the game should have clearly seen how outmatched they are.  It's funny how much the Dominator has ruined the Wings for me.

So, one game down in every series, and curiously, all seven of eight visitings teams were winners, with only New Jersey winning on home ice.

Anyhow, I don't have a whole lot to say today, and I'm tired of railing against the Sabres, and evaluating these playoffs that I can't fully get into yet (no, I've saved that job for your Alternate Captain...).

Currently on the brain is about later next week when I'm off to an Easter Vegas vacation and I'll be taking action for anyone wants any.  Vegas, baby, Vegas...  I haven't been there since the great roadtrip of '99, and who could forget that?  Why don't some of you take this moment to pause and reflect and reminisce about that event, and let it steer into your weekends...

-  LT
 
 

10 April 03:

It feels like yesterday, eh?

Well, after a ten month sabbatical, the Fourth (count 'em... 4 !!) Annual HoH Competition is upon us.  Hard to believe it's been so long.  With the shadow of a fading conflict across the globe still looming, this year's competition begins under slightly unique circumstances.  Let's take a moment to honor our boys in the Gulf...

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2002-2003 Heroes Who Have  Elected to Re-Up for Another Tour

James Latona, returning for his fourth season in the league and gunning to avenge a less-than-admirable showing last year.  Is that a chip on his shoulder...  or the Stanley Cup? Kris Blaser, looking to consumate the deal for a second time and prove his consistantly accurate picks are no fluke, as many have suspected. Steven Deisig, defending champion out to show the world that his contested victory last season was really due to keen insight, and not merely from an abundance of time on his hands. Matt Damstetter, out to show the world that he belongs in the beach volleyball game that is the Heroes of Hockey.  Rumor has it, that if he fails to be annointed champion this season, he will look to cash in instead on another bet that Bravo has outstanding ... Jim Kelley, feature writer Foxsports.com, not really sure why he's again subjected to this, but once again will be the target of bashing.  Again, the missive will be to keep Jim out of the winner's circle. Loonie, the Canadian dollar coin, will once again be the benchmark for futility; the line in the sand against which in the end, make sure you're on the right side.

Anyway, back to the production, I'm pleased to report that on Wednesday 9 April, at 6.49pm EDT, all HoH first round picks were officially submitted to the league offices.  You will see the fruits of those hard weeks and months of research and luck below.  Once again as we embark on another season, I hope to make some changes to this site, and don't expect it all to be working right from the get-go.  Bear with us.  And also, any and all submissions are greatly appreciated.

Last night the NHL 2002-'03 Second Season officially got underway.  And for the second time in as many years, our hometown team has as much participation in the playoffs as we do.  (Well, counting this competition of ours, we're probably more involved).  What a season it was, or more specifically, wasn't.  The 33rd year of pro hockey in Buffalo came and went on a rudderless ship, and is probably better forgotten.  A decent - only decent - and meaningless push at the end of the year was all that seperated us from the "worst team in the league" mantle.  For great stretches of the season, the action at HSBC was just as exciting as it was across the lot at the Aud.

What do we have to look ahead to?  Disgrunted players?  No-name players?  One of the single wealthiest owners in the league?  I wonder if any of Tommy G's Paychex money will find it's way into the team's payroll?  We can only hope.

Well, just because the Sabres aren't actually playing in the playoffs, some of their influence remains.  Captain Peca and his Isles overcame the top seeded Senators with their one-two punch of Varada and Ray, last night.  Always a Sabre-at-heart Alexander Mogilny had a rare postseason hat trick in Toronto's 5-3 victory over the Flyers.  And Bruins forward Michal Grosek sent a bad pass up the middle that Jamie Langenbrunner was able to easily pick off and bag home the game winner for the Devils.  Sabres through and through.

Anyhow, with that said, this season, for them and us, is officially underway.  Questions will forever abound...  What do you all have to say for yourselves?  How has the past 10 months seen your lives change?  How and when will we finally award the past 3 Grand Champions their due?  (If Team Damstetter wins this year, maybe we should all just call it a wash....).

Gentleman, as always, I look forward to a safe and honest season.

-  James Latona, #9
   League Commissioner, Heroes of Hockey
   Webmaster, Heroes of Hockey Home Page
   Team Captain/President/CEO/Co-Founder/Center, Hamburg Kings Hockey Club
   Lieutentant, Bravo Co.
   Hero (of Hockey)