Marriage

A Muslim:-

Please comment on the following email that was a reply to a Christian who thought that Jesus had abolished the sin of fornication.

"Dear Brother, AAWR. Where the teaching of Jesus was exactly the same as that of all the other Jewish teachers, he did not need to comment on it specifically. He taught that not one jot or tittle was to be altered or the command set aside, and any that tried to do so would be least in the Kingdom of Heaven.

As regards marriage. It is a sacrament for Christians, and it is a contract for Muslims. A Christian would naturally believe a sacrament was better - but this ignores the fact of real life in which marriages are set aside so frequently. In Islam, the marriage is a contract, only valid so long as both parties keep their side of the contract; if they break it, divorce is then justified if the couple wish it."

I gave my Christian workmate "Teach Yourself Islam" to read, in particular chapter 18. I think p.165 is misleading where you say that if a man happens to feel a sexual urge while out - he should go to his wife and have intercoourse to repel what he felt. - my friend said so men can look at the women (but not touch) and then compensate by going home and having sex with the wife? There is also the Hadith where the Prophet told people to lower their gaze - first look is okay but not a second.

Anyway he tells me that in Christianity lusting is adultery of the heart. But Jesus did not say this but Paul wrote this in his letters, because people were going to temple prostitutes and committing sin? I thought Jesus DID say that in Matt 5:27

Basically in Islam you have so many rules whereas in Christianity it's just the 10 commandments and if you lead a 'good life' the Holy Spirit guides you more.

Comment:-

In Islam too, we are required to obey God and the Messenger and we will then activate our spirits and be led by Allah:-

"O you who believe! Respond unto Allah and His Messenger when He calls you to that which quickens you; and know that Allah comes in between a man and his own heart; and that He it is unto Whom you shall be gathered." 8:24

The e-mail you forwarded is correct. Jesus did say that he had not come to abolish the Hebrew Law but to fulfil it. That is to say, apart from the rules of conduct he put emphasis on the motives underlying the actions. The whole of the Law was to be based on love. This is why looking at a woman with lust is as bad as committing adultery - but this time not in action but in desire.

Note that this makes no difference between adultery and fornication. In either case it flouts and harms marriage and also it might result in a child that suffers.

Islam, as the Quran says, is the Religion of Truth. Quran 9:33, 61:9. This adds a third dimension to Religion. We must know through research, study, observation and meditation what is true and correctly base our motives on that, and our behaviour on correct motives. Quran 17:36-37

It is true that in Islam marriage is a contract, but contracts are sacred in Islam. There is not really much difference between the two, except in the way they are perceived. For Christians who make an absolute distinction between the Religious and the Secular (and between spirit and matter), when they abandon their religion this leads to all kinds of perversity. In Islam no such absolute distinction is made so the marriage contract is a religious as well as a social contract. It is like a knot in a network that keeps the community together. The union of man and wife also links their parents and other relatives of both to other families and, of course, also through their own children who marry, to still other families. The network so created is not only in space but also in time, linking generations of the past and future.

I do not know "Teach Yourself Islam" which you quote. I did not write it. The Islamic rule, as you say, is to lower the gaze so as not to allow lust to form. It refers to an outer action as well as an inner state. If passions are aroused then the only legitimate way in which this can be satisfied in within marriage. One of the features of the contract is that each should cater for the needs of the other.

It is supposed that if a person uses another to relieve their lust then they devalue that person and treat them as an object to be used selfishly. This is certainly the case when fornication and adultery takes place. The case in marriage is fundamentally different. There is a blending of lives. Most of the experiences of the individual are centred not only on his idea of self, but that is now expanded to include the spouse and offsprings. There is increasing love that unites them and it is love that causes each to consider the other and cater for their needs. The result is that sexuality is sublimated. That is, that which might start as selfish lust is turned into love. The rule, therefore, strengthens marriage and the community while destroying those tendencies that would destroy it.

The rule governing relation between spouses is:-

"So seek them with your wealth in honest marriage and not lust. But such of them from whom you seek comfort, give them their portions as a duty; and there is no crime in what you do by mutual agreement after the duty has been done. 4:24

"O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord Who created you from a single soul and likewise its mate and from them twain hath spread abroad a multitude of men and women. Be careful of your duty towards Allah from whom ye claim your rights of one another, and towards the wombs that bare you. Lo! Allah is a Watcher over you." 4:1

"He it is who did create you from a single soul, and from it made his mate that he may take rest in her." 7:189

"They are raiments for you and ye are raiments for them." 2:187

"And they (women) have rights similar to those of men over them in equity, though men have a degree of responsibilities (or advantages) over them." 2:228

"And if ye fear a breach between the twain ( the man and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind." 4:34,35

"And covet not a thing in which Allah hath made some of you to excel others. Unto men a fortune which they have earned and unto women a fortune which they have earned. Envy not one another but ask Allah for His bounty." 4:32

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them...And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornments only that which is apparent, and to draw their veil over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornments save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands fathers, or sons or their husbands sons, or their brothers or their brothers sons or sisters or sisters sons or their women, or their servants, or male attendants who lack vigour or children who know naught of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornments." 24:30-31

"As for those who traduce virtuous, believing women who are careless, cursed are they in the world and the hereafter....Vile women are for vile men, and vile men are for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men are for good women; such are innocent of that which people say." 24:23, 26

If Christians believe in the Old Testament as they say and follow Jesus who said that the Hebrew Law was not to be flouted, then they should know that there are many more laws in the Torah than just the 10 commandments. They should know that they can only have salvation by obeying God. Matthew 7:21-23

However, as Jesus said, all the rules can be reduced to love of God with all your mind, soul and heart and love your neighbour as yourself. Matthew 22:37-39.

A study of the Quran shows that there are not many rules. What is not expressly forbidden is allowed. Most instructions are guidelines. These reduce, according to a Hadith, to not doing to others what one would not like done to oneself and doing to others what one would like done to oneself. It is a question of having feelings, of sympathy and empathy, of being able to put oneself in the place of others and vice versa.

They should know that Adultery is defined as sexual intercourse outside marriage. Even if a person is not married and has sexual intercourse with another who also is not married, either of them might get married later and will then have been adulterers. They might have children out of wedlock and cause harm to them because they have no secure loving family where they can learn from example and attain adequate emotional development. The social network is destroyed.

It is obvious that to make such a distinction between adultery and fornication is pure hypocrisy, people rationalising their own lusts.

----------<O>----------

Contents