Day Five

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Another day has come and gone. This morning I weigh in at 247.5 pounds (112.5 kilos) which means that I lost 2.5 pounds on day four.

Today I had headaches, some nausea, weakness and some hunger. I also had two diarrhea micro-poops. Over all I am fine, and I do not have any significant difficulties. In fact, I feel better today than I do on many regular days.

I did work today for 10 hours and I took two walks which total about an hour and 20 minutes of walking. Also, I was a bit cold this morning, but I was not cold after the first walk at lunch time.

Psychologically I am OK. I did realize today that I had not eaten in the long time, and that was an 'oh shit' moment.

I also realized that my life before this fast was a mess, and that this is my last chance to fix it. I actually feel better now than I did before the fast. Before the fast I had anxiety, headaches and I felt out of control. I do not feel that way now. I have tried everything before to lose weight, but nothing helped me in many years. On top of that, I had other challenges involving personal determination, and I did not handle those all that well either. I was feeling like out of control loser. While on fast I do not feel like I am out of control. However if I was to give in and break my fast, I would start feeling that way again.

That is not to say that I am not under stress. I am working on a hard project and it is hard for me to concentrate on it. I worked 10 hours today. Also my wife told my mother in law that I was fasting, and that made her worried, and it made me angry. Fasting is hard enough and last thing that I need is relatives trying to talk me out of it.

Another thing to note is that I am craving food. I am not craving food that much, but certainly more than yesterday, and this feeling is sure to increase.

Tomorrow is fast in an adventure into the unknown. Every time you explore the unknown, it is scary. By realizing that I had not eaten in five days, I felt as if I swam far from the shore.  But I need to keep exploring. Who knows what great things I will discover.