Divine Worlds

By: S.R. Shinohara

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Chapter XIV

Pain’s Absolution

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Silence. It seemed like such a foreign thing, Souhi looking around his empty infirmary with a mild frown. Was this supposed to be an ominous event? It sure felt like it, and a bad one to boot. Hiiro was at Illusian day and night for the past few days, and there was only one reason why his loudness would be absent from Great Hall for so long.

Saori’s back… It made him both smile and frown, his stomach lurching. I know I said I’d try to explain, try to patch things up but…all the things I’ve said to her…She’s probably already so far away from me I’ll never get her back… And where was Kenta? He still hadn’t come back yet after Tetsuo had come to ask him something. I’m getting the sick feeling I should be very worried about something. I hate this feeling. I got it the moment I left for the fields that day Shiko first took control and I’m getting it now. Feet tapping, his body was itching to run to Illusian to simply check that his gut feeling was nothing but paranoia setting in.

“Lord Souhi.” Kenta finally came back inside, his grim expression doing nothing to help ease his nerves which were, quite frankly, on edge. “Tetsuo-san just told me something you need to hear…Lady Saori seems to be in dire health. Shiko left behind too much darkness in her this time and it appears its eating away at her life. It’s too heavy for her to fight off unaided. Illusian has officially placed a request in for your help.”

Kenta wasn’t even surprised that he was out the door running, following after him before he could even blink. I’m glad you finally realize it, Lord Souhi. Now let’s hope you didn’t realize your mistake in trying to protect her this way too late.

~*~ : * : ~*~

Humming some nonsense tune he didn’t quite remember where he learned it from, Kosuke brushed her bangs away from her face as Saori remained unmoving in her bed, his eyes dancing with so many emotions it was impossible to pick them out and name them. “Kohaku has been worried sick, Saori-oukijou…Ruko too. She’s been by every few days to see if there was any updates. I suppose I should tell them your back, huh? But that might worry them, don’t you think? I swear you come down with the oddest illnesses…do you think Souhi will come? Hiiro asked Tetsuo to go get him but…” Sighing, he mused, “It seems all my children have some sort of problem not easily fixed…I wonder if you had a different father, would you and Souhi still be as close as you once were? You must hate me for it…”

“Lord Kosuke.” Kayoko’s tone was hard as she changed the wet cloth on Saori’s head, her mistress’s skin still flushed feverishly. “Don’t go there, Lord Kosuke. Those are dangerous places to go. You know it isn’t your fault.”

“You’re right,” he sighed again, rubbing his head, “I can’t help it sometimes though.” His eyes were glazed over as he said quietly, “When I think she might disappear from me, I panic. I feel like I’m about to lose my only connection to something important.”

“Something important?” The charcoal haired girl quirked her head to the side, shoulder long strands blowing in the slight breeze.

“I don’t remember what though,” he laughed, “I’m getting old and senile.”

Kayoko sweat-dropped. “I highly doubt that, Lord Kosuke…” Looking up as the door opened, she bowed slightly in greeting. “Lord Hiiro. Perhaps you could convince Lord Kosuke to go rest…He’s been up non-stop for the past few days.”

“Kosuke-ani.” Hiiro sent him a dull stare. “Saori would kill you if she knew that.”

“She would, wouldn’t she?” Reluctantly, he wobbly stood to his feet, legs shaking from lack of sleep and nourishment. He hadn’t eaten anything in days either, only drinking tea or water when he got too thirsty.

Ryu caught him before he fell, having come in behind Hiiro. “I’ll get him to his room…” Easily, he practically carried him out, most of Kosuke’s weight leaning on his frame that, Kayoko had to muse, was very thin. She almost wondered how he didn’t topple over. At least he was tall. It was still hard to picture him as a warrior though.

Hiiro sat himself down where Kosuke had been, his eyes sadder then she’d ever seen them. “She’ll be OK, Lord Hiiro.” Kayoko’s smile was confident and soothing as she said, “Have you ever known her to give in to ANYTHING?”

“No,” he smiled, “I always loved that about her. She’ll be alright. But…just to make sure…” Taking her hand, he folded it within his own and kissed her knuckles which had bashed him in the face many times tenderly. “I’ll stay here until she wakes up.”

With a nod, Kayoko quietly slid out of the room, sighing once she’d shut the door. Lady Saori…Would you be mad at me if you knew how worried I am that you might not beat it this time…?

“Kayoko.” Turning around, her eyes widened slightly, Ryu standing behind her with that gaze of his that was sending many female attendants on Tengoku weak in the knees. “Lord Kosuke is asleep for now, but he will probably be up in an hour…” Staring at Saori’s closed door he queried, “Is there something more then what I know of? I can tell this is more then just a deep father-daughter bond…he’s downright petrified like he were losing a lover.”

A LARGE sweat-drop fell down her head as she saw his face cringe at that thought. “They’re not like that!”

“Well I wouldn’t be surprised…”

“Believe me, they’re not!” Scratching her head, she said quietly, “It’s just that, when Lady Saori connects with someone…she really connects. It’s why the few friends she has are so loyal to her. And her connection with Lord Kosuke is the deepest…” A frown marred her lips suddenly, recalling the words he’d mentioned just earlier. “But he did say something to me just a few moments ago that seemed weird…”

“What?”

“‘When I think she might disappear from me, I panic. I feel like I’m about to lose my only connection to something important,’ he said.”

Something important? Scratching his head, Ryu blinked, at a loss. To say this family has issues is an understatement…and these are the gods mortals WORSHIP? I’m beginning to understand why the world is screwed up…

The thought made him want to burst out laughing, something he hadn’t done in a very long time.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“I’ll get that.” Kayoko barely opened the door before it was slammed into her face, squishing her behind it as a blur of something darted straight past her, eyes swirling as Kenta thankfully had more manners then his master and caught her before she hit the ground. “Oh my…what beautiful stars, Lord Soujiro…”

She promptly passed out, eyes still swirling and a large indent on her face.

HUGE sweat-drops ran down Kenta and Ryu’s heads. Poor girl never had a chance.

~*~ : * : ~*~

“Souhi-ani?” Saori awoke to his gentle touch, fingers brushing her bangs gently with a soft smile upon his lips. “What are you…?”

“Shiko was starting to come through,” he murmured gently, smiling and easing her nerves as she tensed in worry, “Don’t worry…she receded…her personality has been coming through a lot lately. You’ve been very sad, Saori…?”

Her light blue eyes lowered in shame. “I can’t help it…it hurts to hear those comments others say about me…”

With a deep sigh, Souhi tugged her over so her head was lying in his lap, his hands brushing her hair from her face gently. “Our family is emotional; it’s natural…We take everything to heart…But it’s OK. I just wish you would’ve told me. Tell me if you’re sad, OK? Maybe we can stop these lapses before they can start…”

“OK…”

“Demon! You’re a demon! You’re NOT my sister! You’re a demon!”

“Souhi-ani…” Though her body had changed, her sadness and fear giving Shiko enough power to change her form physically for the first time, Aiyoku burning before them, Saori could hear her beloved brother saying those words as if she were in control. “I can still hear and see…Souhi-ani…please don’t look at me with those eyes…with those contemptuous eyes all the others do…please…Souhi-ani…don’t look at me like they do…”

“I am a demon,” she heard Shiko say, their heart twitching in mute pain she’d never show, “but she is still your sister…”

“My sister would’ve never done this!”

“Souhi-ani…”

Souhi blinked. He’d just stepped into her room and already…? Shaking his head, his azure eyes glanced at her child like form that was writhing on her bed in pain, Hiiro holding her hand with an absolutely pained expression. He loved her deeply, that he could give him, and he was helpless to ease her suffering and tears. No wonder he looks so frustrated.

If the fire god was surprised by his appearance, he never made it visible. “Souhi…do something…she won’t stop no matter how much I try…”

“Un…move aside for a moment, Hiiro.” Sliding into the seat once Hiiro evacuated it, Souhi put a hand to her forehead, concentrating as his aura became visible, dancing like a gentle forest green flame around him. “Please don’t block me out, Saori…let me see what’s wrong…”

“What’s wrong?” Souhi nearly jerked in surprise at Shiko’s venomous voice, Saori’s consciousness so covered by darkness that had obviously grown over the past few days that he couldn’t feel her thoughts or find them anywhere. “Why, I’m surprised you give a damn! What’s wrong you ask? Let me show you exactly what’s wrong with her, LORD Souhi.”

The anger which boiled in him at her mocking tone was soon replaced by an ill, sick feeling as pain, fear, despair…everything Shiko represented and his sister felt crashed into him, image and voices flying through his head so fast it made him want to scream. Chaotic. It was utter chaos her thoughts, his will power barely enough to keep him from jerking his hand away just to escape the intense feelings of despair which crashed into him the strongest, though it was almost impossible to tell amongst the others.

“Souhi…-ani…” A hand reached out through the chaos and darkness which surrounded him as her thoughts and feelings kept crashing into him, and he instinctively reached out a shaky hand to grip it, half-pleading for someone to get him out of this chaos which was beginning to feel like torture to his psyche. “You promised…me…You said…you’d help me…Always…”

The despair which followed those words was so intense he was knocked back with a yell, crashing into the wall and clutching his head in pain at the sudden shock of being thrown away from her. You reject me… That knowledge alone made Souhi shut his eyes in a pain much deeper then he’d anticipated. I was prepared for this…but I didn’t think it would hurt so much coming from you.

“Lord Souhi!” Kenta was kneeling by his side with a worried frown as he helped the youth stand, setting the chair back upright from where it’d been flipped over so he could sit. “Are you alright?”

“No…” Azure eyes stared at her writhing in pain even worse then before, her small limbs thrashing every so often as if fighting against something. “I’m not, Kenta. I lost her…by my own words which I’d hoped would protect her from more of mother’s wrath, I’ve lost her…”

~*~ : * : ~*~

Knock. Knock.

Looking up from his lunch, Illusian covered in an uncomfortable atmosphere so that even his silent lunch was disturbed, Ryu let out a grunt, setting his chopsticks down to go get the door. Kayoko was still in lala land from being whacked with the door and Kosuke was sleeping. He needed the rest too, so that left him to do all the minor stuff Kayoko would do. Like answer doors.

The knock came again, this time quieter, and Ryu had to bite down his irritation as he absently rubbed his arms. The emotions of its owners effects Illusian stronger then I’d guessed it would. Their emotions can literally affect the atmosphere to a point where you actually feel the difference constantly. It’s not a passing feeling of discomfort. No wonder Kayoko tries to keep them happy all the time. I can barely stand this. “Coming.” He opened the door, eye closed as he tried to collect himself from the annoying atmosphere which was beginning to drive him insane.

“Ryu…san…”

That shaky voice. That tone. Eye snapping open, he stared down at the one woman he never thought he’d see again. “Aori…”

It was a bad idea. Why had she come here? It was such a lousy idea to see him. But she needed closure, Takeru had said with a displeased grunt, and it would be better so she wouldn’t be haunted by him like she was still. But to see him so close…

Aori closed her eyes to keep herself from flushing. Even now, just seeing him makes my heart speed up like it used to… “Ryu-san…”

“It’s been a long time.” She was grateful he spoke first. She couldn’t think of the words she wanted to greet him with and had practiced the whole walk from the cave where Takeru was waiting for her. “What are you doing here, Aori?” He stepped aside, motioning for her to enter. “Come in. If you can stand the atmosphere, of course.”

“Lady Saori isn’t well I take it,” she noted quietly, “I was afraid she might be unwell…Lady Shiko took in a lot of darkness while she was in Kakure.”

“You were there?”

“I’m Lord Kakure’s attendant, so yes.”

Ryu nearly fell over, eyebrow jerking up so high he thought it shot right off his face. Aori? Aori who he remembered to be as lively as his master’s daughter but less violent serving as the GOD OF DEATH’S attendant? That was a hard to form image. “You’re kidding me.”

“I don’t kid,” she frowned, “And it’s not so bad…I got used to the darkness.”

“Your lover made you immortal?”

For some reason, the way he said that made her cringe, sitting in the chair he pulled out for her before he settled in across, in front of a mostly untouched breakfast (and it looked quite good, she had to admit. She hadn’t eaten anything for fear she would throw it up out of anxiety.), and stared away calmly. He knew she was uneasy. HE was probably uneasy. “Yes, Takeru made me immortal…Before I left I asked him to do the same for Ichiro-kun…” Her face dropped as she queried, “How is…Ichiro-kun…? Do you know…?”

“I saw him a while ago…” Ryu ignored her stunned look. “He’s fine…We understand each other a little and he actually said he wanted me to visit him sometime…”

Her eyes lit up, watering happily with a huge silly smile that he definitely remembered her having. Ryu sweat-dropped, her expression scarily similar to Ichiro since he’d inherited all her physical traits. She looks just like him if he were to do that…scary.

“I’m so glad,” she sniffed, smiling largely.

“He misses you the most though…” He’d expected her face to drop back to sadness. It still irked him though. Sadness was an expression not fit for her face. “Why haven’t you seen him?”

“Unlike all the others, being Lord Kakure’s attendant is much more hectic and time consuming…” she muttered, “So many people die in one day and I have to help him retrieve them all…I barely get to see Takeru once a year. It could easily be 2 years before I can get a break.”

“Makes sense,” he sighed, “and I’ve heard more wars are breaking out between Kakori & Phylos lately. You must be needed.”

“Yes,” she sweat-dropped, “But both Lord Kakure and Takeru knew I needed to do this. They let me have the day to myself.”

His lip twitched into a rare gentle smile. “So I take it you saw me when I went to Kakure and freaked on them.”

Aori sweat-dropped largely. “I wouldn’t say freaked…” She drank a little of her tea, letting the warm liquid sooth her dry throat.

“Really?” He gave her a withering stare, the smile threatening to tug higher.

Her face flushed slightly. His stare was just so…intense, even when he was teasing. The fact that he was teasing her was surprising too. You’ve changed, Ryu-san…I’m so happy you’ve changed from how you were when we last parted…“Really! You just…stunned me. I didn’t expect you to be Lord Kosuke’s attendant.”

When I didn’t have to be to boot… A vein ticked slightly on his forehead, drinking a large gulp of tea. “Long story short…I did it so Ichiro could have divine rights to go to Celestia. He’s been quite taken with the Queen Faerie.”

“EH?” Blinking she asked, “But didn’t he have them, being your son? And you were one of Karyuudo’s most revered warriors like Kakusei-sama.”

Ryu fell over, twitching. She knew…She knew it too!

A hand slowly went to her mouth as she took in his reaction. “You…didn’t know…?” Her shoulders shook slightly, eyes lighting up in mirth. “You really…didn’t…and so you…”

“Shut up, Aori,” he groaned.

She couldn’t help it. Her laughter broke like a dam, spilling through Illusian’s halls in silvery gales.

~*~ : * : ~*~

Sharpening his claws on the rock walls, Takeru perked up as his ears twitched, catching the sound of footfalls. “Aori?”

Her smile relaxed his tense nerves quickly. “Un. I’m done.”

“Did he hurt you?” he grumbled, “If he did I’ll-”

Aori cut him off with a shake of her head and a silvery laugh that made him stop and blink. “No…quite the opposite. We got a lot of things off our chests.”

“Come see me again,” he’d smiled, fully, and Aori couldn’t help smiling at him warmly.

“Un…” Patting his cheek, se smiled, “Working here has done you so much good, Ryu-san…Even if you don’t have to for Ichiro-kun’s sake, please stay.”

“What do you mean? Why?” He honestly looked like he had no clue about what she was saying.

“You’re able to smile,” she said softly, “You joke. You show your irritation…you no longer are the closed up man who kept himself isolated from everything. You’re slowly changing back to the man I knew in Karyuudo. The one so many fell in love with.” Even me…back then…

His eyes were sad as he chuckled ruefully, “I thought that was Kakusei-sama.”

“Him too,” she muttered sadly, “But you were more unattainable. You were the challenge for women since you never gave anyone the time of day.”

“I guess you’re right.” With a sigh, he stared off at nothing behind her before saying, “You should get back. And I’m glad we finally had this talk, Aori.”

“Me too.” With a wave she’d left, his eyes still on her back until she disappeared, the door closing with a click as she broke into a run, smiling. “I’ll come see you again, Ryu-san. And maybe by then you’ll have stopped denying what you truly want…the life you miss horribly despite painful memories…”

“So everything is OK?”

Nodding, he let out a startled yell and flushed as she jumped into his arms with a laugh, her arms wrapping around his neck securely. He didn’t mind, far from it, but it startled him because she did it so abruptly. “Perfectly fine…so lets go home…”

As she cuddled into the crook of his neck, his wings spreading widely before he jumped down into the crevice, taking flight, Takeru smiled gently, kissing her face which continued to smile, at peace for probably the first time since he’d seen her that first time eons ago. “Right…lets go home…”

~*~ : * : ~*~

Opening her eyes, the first thing she noticed was the lack of pain, the second being her form which was now back to being her youthful one. Sitting up, Saori finally became aware of something gripping her hand, looking down with an arched eyebrow. A hand? But it’s too slim to be Hiiro, and too pale to be Kosuke-papa. So who…

“Look.” Shiko said only that one word, forcing her eyes to follow the appendage which was wrapped in a warm green glow to the face which was lying on the side of her bed, sleeping. “He’s been here since he came hours ago.”

“Souhi-ani…” The hand he held fisted tightly, sweat running down her head. “Why is he here, Shiko? I thought I’d only dreamed that he was here before…so he really did break into my mind before?”

“He was worried, stupid. Are you that moronic?” She snorted when a vein busted out on her head. “Wake him up. From what I heard that wolf demon attendant of his saying, he came flying over here when he heard you were ill. And he’s been redirecting your negative memories into himself so the darkness couldn’t grow stronger in you. It’s been awhile now, so you’ve fought it off, but so much negative energy unsurprisingly drained him.”

“Why are you suddenly being so cooperative?” Shiko’s almost kind words were beginning to put her on edge. “It’s unlike you, Shiko.”

“You really are a moron.” With a snort, her voice faded, not bothering to answer. Another vein popping, Saori shook her head, sliding her hand from under Souhi’s. The moment it left the glowing subsided, though he remained sleeping, even as she moved him so he could lay down comfortably in her bed. Sitting where he’d been, Saori smiled sadly, holding his hand with hers that lit up in a soft light blue glow. “You actually came…and extended your hand to me, Souhi-ani…I’ll show you what you probably need to see now…”

Sitting within the darkness, drawn into a tight ball, Souhi held his head as the hateful words he himself said, and the words of many others, echoed in his mind and images of what happened to Saori floated before him over and over, taunting him. He’d always figured it had happen something like that. He’d known, but he tried to push her away, hoping his mother would stop attacking her if she thought her son was against her. Now he was going insane from the very words he’d said and the feelings he’d invoked inside Saori to push her away. How could you ever forgive me…? All these feelings…I made you feel emotions far worse then the things I’d once said I’d protect you from…

Lying down on his back, one hand still holding his head, eyes clenched in agony, Souhi extended his other hand into the darkness, searching for something to relieve it. The darkness keeps growing…because these feelings don’t stop. Even if I don’t feel any more of them coming, the ones I have here keep replaying in my mind, feeding it and making it stronger…it’ll suffocate me soon. This was what you always felt, wasn’t it…? Always reaching out, wanting these feelings taken away so the darkness could stop…but not knowing who you could reach out to…who could understand…Saori…I’m sorry…your brother can’t even understand it…

“I didn’t think you would.” A warm hand clutched his from within the darkness, forcing his eyes to open. Only her arms could be seen, but he knew who it was from the voice. “Come on, Souhi-ani…this is my hell, not yours. You don’t belong in it. And you can’t take back what has already been done, so please don’t waste time regretting what you did. I get it…I’m seeing why you did it now…we can have it out about how stupid the plan was later…but right now, open your eyes and pull yourself from this. You shouldn’t have done something so reckless like taking in my negativity! Your own darkness is growing now!”

“…I just did my job…” he chuckled, “As a physician…and your brother…”

There was an aggravated sigh within the darkness before that warm hand disappeared, panic rising as he reached around for it, eyes shutting in pain again. Gods, it hurt. It hurt so much he wanted to claw at his chest and rip his own heart out, just to stop it. Don’t leave…don’t take your hand away…

He froze when it returned, though the touch returned to his side and by small arms, soft hair brushing against his face, not by his hand. Lowering it, he opened his eyes and looked to the side, that little girl he loved so much curled by him, somehow unaffected by the darkness. “Souhi-ani, do you know what Saori always wanted?”

“…What…?” Brushing a shaky hand through her hair, he smiled sadly, his arms crying to hold her. “What did Saori always want?”

“Saori just wanted a hand extended…” Extending her own above her in the motion, her tiny fingers clenched and unclenched, gripping at the darkness. “It didn’t have to understand…Saori just wanted that option…that option to have that hand there, waiting, to try and help her from it. You didn’t think you could understand, so you never extended it…so you always left Saori alone when her darkness came…you wanted to though, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t think you would appreciate someone who would never understand…trying to help…” The darkness was receding. He could feel it. Just the tiny girl’s presence was evaporating it. “But I wanted to extend it to you…so much…”

“Saori knows now,” she said softly, “Saori can see things she couldn’t before, now that Souhi-ani came and extended his hand to her.” Still reaching out, staring above into the darkness, she smiled, eyes closing in happy arcs as she said, “And Saori still loves Souhi-ani…so very much…Saori is happy he came and was the first to extend that hand she always wanted…so she could fight the darkness and bear it…”

Shutting his eyes, Souhi turned his head, silent tears dripping from his eyes. So little…you wanted so little from me all along and I never knew…

“We need to go home, Souhi-ani…” Opening her eyes, her form was now as it was normally but still with a soft smile, still by his side. Hand raised, it glowed a powerful light blue, forcing the darkness to part slightly. “We still have much to talk about…”

“Un…” He set his own glowing hand on hers, lacing his fingers in her hand with a smile, the pain having disappeared. Or could he just not feel it anymore? He wasn’t entirely sure, but he didn’t care. The fact of the matter was he didn’t feel those feelings and they weren’t choking him anymore. “Much more to talk and argue about…definitely…”

~*~ : * : ~*~

Padding the halls, Kosuke stretched, his nap having rejuvenated him greatly. But he still wanted to be by her bedside. Walking toward her door, he stopped, spotting Kenta down the hall talking with Kayoko who, for some reason, was nursing her face and a large bump on her head while laughing. Kenta? Then is he really…?

He swung the door open so fast he nearly fell in, Hiiro nowhere in sight. Instead, he saw Souhi and Saori, no in her normal form, curled up in bed, sleeping as they had when they were tiny, Souhi’s arms wrapped protectively around her while she was mumbling in her sleep about something he couldn’t hear or understand. Nostalgia passed over him as he smiled, grabbing a spare blanket from her closet and covering them both, kissing their foreheads. He was finally seeing his two youngest children back again. His chubby faced son and his lively little girl. “Sleep well you two…”

Kosuke was just shutting her door when Hiiro came back, having finished pacing the halls for the umpteenth time. “Kosuke-ani, did Souhi finish yet?”

“I’d say so,” he smiled genuinely, eyes closing into arcs, “Let’s leave them alone…they’re sleeping…”

His eyes widened to 10 times their size before they returned to normal and softened. “I see…I’m glad…everything’s alright.”

“You thought it wouldn’t be?” Kosuke tsked, winking as Hiiro choked in surprise and struck a funny pose, sweating. “What would Saori-oukijou say if she heard that, Hiiro?”

“Nothing cause she won’t know! Which reminds me, Kosuke-ani, I’m told you’ve been neglecting your duties for the past few days…?” He smiled when Kosuke struck a pose this time, sweating with a nervous smile. Crossing his arms he smirked, “Numerous fields have dried up and some villages are suffering famines already…”

“Eh heh…” Sweat-dropping, he laughed with a rapid wave of his hands, attempting to look cute, “I won’t tell if you won’t?”

“Deal. Tetsuo!”

The demon stuck his head out from the room he’d been given, ears twitching. “Yes, Lord Hiiro?”

“We’re going,” he grinned, “We should get back so mother isn’t lonely anyway.”

Kosuke pretended not to hear the white tiger demon shout for joy as he ran back into his room to get his things. Now what is that all about…?

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