Divine Worlds

By: S.R. Shinohara

 

 

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Chapter XV

Precious Smile

 

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Some ask me why I put up with it…Why do you put up with hiding the things my heart wants to scream out from the top of Tengoku? I say because I feel like it, or I just don’t answer at all, but really…

 

                “Kohaku-kun…” She WINCED at his touch, the youth pulling away, heartbroken. And looking into her eyes, he could see such edginess that it made him bleed, stepping back and hanging his head.

 

Why do I stay? Sometimes I wonder myself…the pain gets unbearable sometimes…but I can’t do it. Her smile…that lovely smile that warms my soul…I never want it to disappear. I’d never turn my back on her, even if she can’t help but pull away from me if my emotions get the better of me. I could never pull away because of how she was raised…because of what is natural instinct to her…

 

                As he lifted his head, Kohaku smiled kindly, shaking his head. “It’s OK, Ruko-sama…I understand. I’m sorry for scaring you.”

 

I could never do the very thing which hurt Saori-imouto to my Ruko-sama…

 

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                “Wah! Stop it! No, no, no, no!”

                Hiiro wouldn’t stop grinning as he pulled her from her seat, her feet scraping against the floor of Ruko’s palace as he tried to get her to dance with him. “Come on! This is a party! It’s time for you to dance a little, Saori!”

                “No, stop it!” Being the smaller of them was definitely a downfall, her struggles proving futile as he swept her up with a laugh, making her dance amongst the other Faeries who’d taken taller forms for the night to entertain them.

                Ryu was looking as irritable as Saori as he sat quietly near Kayoko who watched it all with a smile, though it was more because he disliked so much noise and attention which the female Faeries were more then happy to lavish upon him. Ruko couldn’t help sweat-dropping, watching her own sisters flutter about him, for once relieved of their duties so they could have some fun. I hope he doesn’t explode while he’s here…at least Kayoko-san bears the male Faerie’s attention with a smile since they always approach her in their small forms…Ayano-sama help me if they ever took their true forms. She’d be petrified.

               “Ruko-sama!” Kohaku appearing in front of her so suddenly with a HUGE smile made her yelp, blinking as he held up a large platter. Kohaku always was at his best during feasts. “Please try one~! I made some new treats with the others and they’re quite good!”

                Ruko’s smile widened as she chewed and swallowed the soft and chewy cookie. “Delicious as always.” She promptly popped in two more.

                “Ruko-sama has such a sweet tooth.” Smiling fondly, he looked away when she stared at him. “Saori-chan and Souhi-kun…came to an understanding…”

                “…Really…?” Moving her gaze to the currently irritated goddess, she smiled in slight relief. “Good…”

                Kohaku made a sound of agreement. “She told me while we were coming here…they cleared the air.”

 

                “I can’t leave mother’s side,” Souhi murmured as they stood in the foyer, “And I probably won’t be able to visit still…but I won’t hurt you with my words anymore, even if I never meant them…I understand they hurt you now…”

                “I’m just glad…for one dinner…you could eat here with us,” she grinned, “And I know one day we can eat dinner together like we used to, so don’t give it much thought. And don’t tell me you won’t, because it’s a lie. Our family always thinks about things too much until we’re either sick or blue in the face.”

                Souhi twitched nervously. “Oh shut up…”

                “We’ll be able to be like before someday, Souhi-ani,” Saori muttered, “So…I’ll try and keep Shiko at bay better. And maybe I can…”

                Souhi cut her off with a LOUD laugh. He knew what she was going to say. “Don’t even. Ain’t possible, though the gesture is appreciated.”

                A vein throbbed on her head. “You're right. Never mind. Just get going before she storms Illusian looking for you.”

 

                The mental image popped just as Ruko could hear the door slamming for exaggerated effect. Smiling nervously, a LARGE sweat-drop ran down her head. “Sounds like they’re going to be OK…definitely…”

                “Everyone in my family is always OK, in the end…” Kohaku smiled, still facing his sister’s direction as she sent Hiiro crashing into something for doing something stupid, seemingly ignorant to Ruko’s eyes which stared at him sadly. “We always find a way to come out OK.”

                “Kohaku…”

                His eyes suddenly popped out of their sockets, his skin paling 10 shades whiter. “WAH! Saori-chan, not the~!”

                CRASH!

                Too late. Eyes large and watering, Kohaku sobbed loudly and dramatically as the huge chandelier that was above them crashed to the floor once Hiiro was punted into it. “NO~! I had to pay 50 kegs of our best Faerie wine to get the dwarves to agree to make this replacement for you!”

                Saori blanched. “…Replacement…?”

                “It was, sniff, to be a gift, sniff, to welcome you home, sniffsniff…for the one…sniff…Ryu-san destroyed…Sniff. 50 kegs…!”

                It was Saori’s turn to let out a shriek and a wail. Ryu glared at him, wishing he wouldn’t bring that up as he plugged his ears to try and lessen the volume of their wailing. Blocking it completely was impossible anyway. But he was trying.

                The sweat-drops and nervous smile on Ruko’s face were growing progressively larger. SO much alike…you can always see the family resemblance somehow…

 

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                “Hiiro…” Saori winced as she tried to help the disoriented and MUCH TALLER god to his home with little success. “Where’s that stupid tiger when you need him?” Letting him plop down against the fountain, she stretched her aching limbs with a grunt, half glaring at Hiiro who was so drunk he couldn’t walk. “You drank too much you donkey’s ass.”

                “So cold…” he whined, gripping the bottom of her shirt. With on forceful tug he made her topple down with a loud yelp, right over his legs that were stretched out flat along the garden’s marble floor which surrounded the fountain. The water came from Lake Furousen, of course, so this was probably the real Fountain of Youth, but who cared? “Why are you so cold, Saori~…?”

                After several failed attempts to get up, it was obvious he wasn’t going to let her get up. Damn it… “I’m not cold. I just hate dealing with any deity if they’re drunk.”

                Her face burned as Hiiro put his face nose to nose with her, his eyes sad. “Even me?”

                ESPECIALLY you. “Yes.”

                “When did things go wrong…?” Saori wasn’t sure if he was talking to her or just musing out loud. “When did Saori become so distrusting of me…?”

                “It’s not distrusting,” she grumbled, “It’s being cautious.”

                “You were never cautious either…you trusted me without thinking before…” Hand to his head, the effects of the wine was finally starting to kick in as he groaned slightly, the distraction allowing her to sit against the fountain beside him. “When did I lose that from you…?”

                “The first time you tried to molest me.”

                “I was drunk,” he protested.

                “Like now?” Saori saw him stiffen and sighed. “Sorry.”

                “You’re right…don’t be sorry…” Leaning his forehead on her shoulder (quite an effort considering the difference in height), Hiiro muttered, “I want to talk more…but this headache hurts and I’m tired…I don’t want Saori to go either…”

                “I’ll…” Saori pulled a face as she shifted him so he could lie his head on her lap, the strain on his back disappearing and a smile crossing his face as he wrapped an arm about her waist to keep her warmth close, sleep overtaking him as he heard her mumble, “…stay until someone finds us here…”

                Silver orbs shut calmly as he smiled, “Always…near me…Saori…You’re always near me…” His grip tightened around her, Isako’s magic working wonders as pleasant dreams and memories began playing in his mind.

                A fond smile crossed her lips, watching his face. It was so peaceful, and to the unknowing eye he looked like an innocent child. “Yes…I’ll always be near you, Hiiro…So sleep. I won’t go anywhere for now…”

 

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                Kohaku had to stretch his wings of their soreness as he landed, setting Ryu and Kayoko down with a small grunt. “Mou…Saori-chan always leaves me to do the hard stuff.” His face dropped as he grumbled darkly, “And helping Lord Hiiro…he better not try anything to my Saori-imouto or I’ll…”

                Ryu couldn’t help arching an eyebrow. “Kohaku, you’re actually capable of being dark?”

                “My son is capable of a lot that might surprise you.” Kosuke smiled, opening Illusian’s front door to greet them. “Have fun?”

                “DADDY!” Like a little child, Kohaku turned small, clinging to Kosuke’s face with happy arcs for eyes from behind his glasses.

                Ryu couldn’t help twitching. Screwed up family…Why am I not surprised…?

                Kosuke’s expression matched his sons as he waited for him to turn big again to rustle his hair affectionately. “Been a long time, Kohaku-kun. Come on in. We haven’t talked for a while.”

                Ryu pretended not to see a tail pop out behind him and wag like a happy dog as the father and son went off to talk. He needed sleep. He was starting to get a headache and he didn’t even have any wine this time.

                “A very affectionate family,” Kayoko laughed with a smile as she walked by him, her room just doors from his anyway, “All Kosuke-sama’s children love him dearly, even if he doesn’t see them much. Lady Kiryo is by far the most eccentric though. Last time se was here, she and Kohaku-san who’d been visiting were fighting on who could have his attention.”

                A LARGE sweat-drop fell down his head. There were just no words for it.

                “Good night, Ryu.” With that said, she slid inside her room, shutting the door with a click.

                Ryu followed her example, sighing once he collapsed onto his pillows face first. Sleep. He needed sleep. Kosuke’s family was just too much. Way too much…but…

 

                “Ryu-kun!” Laughter filled his ears, his and someone else’s, before he jumped into the waiting arms of a loving woman, her lips pressing to his cheek once he was wrapped up securely in her arms, hugging her neck as all children did. “Time for your nap.”

 

                …Haha-ue… A sad smile drifted to his face despite himself, a cool night breeze coming and caressing his hair from his open windows. …I envy them too…Lady Isako, it’s been so long since I did, but if you can hear me, let me dream of my home tonight…

                He didn’t even hear the answer, already lost in pleasant dreams as a cloak as black as night blew in the breeze before it disappeared from his room as suddenly as it appeared. “As you wish…little warrior…may sweet dreams wrap you in their embrace tonight…”

 

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               Kosuke’s smile was wide as he and his son sat in his study, in front of a gently burning fireplace that kept the temperature just right, the windows open to let the chill air in. “Now this is how wine should be consumed. Your wine is as magnificent as always, Kohaku…”

                He beamed, taking a sip of his own and relaxing into his father’s incredibly comfortable chairs. Not too stiff but not too hard. Just right. “I’m happy you think so, papa.”

                “How have you been?” His eyes were thoughtful as they gazed at the fire, its red-orange light lost in his deep raspberry orbs that matched his son’s.

                “Great! Celestia is in excellent shape and we just got a new shipment in and…!”

                Kosuke stopped his rambling with a firm shake of his head. “…You know what I mean…”

                Kohaku lowered his eyes, gripping the slim stand of his goblet. “I know…”

                “So how are you?”

                “Like I always am,” he chuckled quietly, painfully, “I’m happy…but I’m sad. When Lord Hiiro came today, Ruko-sama actually said to him, first thing, ‘Oh, Tetsuo-san isn’t here too?’ and then she was saying, ‘I invited him, but work was swamping Ichiro-kun so he can’t come. The wars breaking out on Phylos keep him busy lately’. It hurts…but she’s a caring woman and I know it doesn’t mean anything but…” His shaky grip didn’t steady, even as he felt his father’s comforting hand on his clenched one that threatened to ruin a perfectly good goblet. “I wanted to do nothing more then hold her…and say ‘I’m here’ or ‘Don’t think about them’…”

                Kosuke’s eyes were sad as he nodded understandingly. “It’s my blood which makes you this way. Faeries are small creatures, so they dislike being hugged. It’s a subconscious fear of being crushed or something, your mother told me once, even if they are in their big forms. But my blood reversed it…it made you a strongly affectionate man…who desires to be held…”

                “But that’s the one thing I can’t do because she’s afraid of me if I try it…and I can’t hate Ruko-sama for something she has no control over…” His eyes saddened as he muttered, “Look what it did to Saori-chan…because she was inflicted with two different personalities, her child one and her ‘normal’ one, she was teased mercilessly and it hurt her. Her strong magic even created her third personality…Shiko…as an outlet so it didn’t destroy her in conjunction with her sadness. And the teasing got worse then! The hurtful things they said after Shiko came to be…it hurt Saori deeply despite herself and made Shiko into this embodiment of darkness…of her pain, sadness, anger, despair…”

                Kosuke was pained as he nodded. “You don’t want to make Ruko feel as Saori did…to feel hurt because of something she has no control over. So you decided to bury your need for affection and compensate by bringing out everything else that you usually buried, like your childish nature. Before, you were always the most mature of my children. Outbursts of ‘Daddy’ or the eccentric actions you use now had always been Saori or Kiryo’s things.” As an after thought he smiled, “Not that I mind it. I’m actually glad for that part.”

                Kohaku gave him a half-hearted smile. “You’re a glutton for affection.”

                He took a long drink of wine, finishing it off with a wide smile. “Yep.” More seriously he said, “But so are you, Kohaku…You know it can’t stay buried for long. Though simple things like hugs and kisses, even small pecks to the cheek, seem meaningless and insignificant to anyone else, to those in this family they have huge affects…in your case though…your body will start showing reactions to the lack of physical love soon…”

                A true smile threatened to break his face as he arched an eyebrow and asked amusedly, “So are you saying I should start being like Lord Hiiro? Though, granted, he hasn’t been bedding anyone lately if what I heard is true…but you get what I mean.”

                Kosuke twitched. “By the skies of Tengoku, no! That would be even worse!” Standing from his seat as he set his refilled wine goblet down, he squatted in front of Kohaku and took his free hand, watching his limb shake slightly. “The shaking hasn’t stopped…it will get progressively worse, you know, if you continue holding this back…”

                Kohaku took his hand away and smiled knowingly. “I know, but it wouldn’t be better either unless it were Ruko-sama who held me…and that would never happen…so I’ll just continue as I am. I’m in no imminent danger anyway until I start getting sick, right?”

                “Right…but…”He rubbed his head in pain. Even Kohaku is stubborn as a mule… “Damn, why are all my children so STUBBORN?

                His son’s smile really did split his face, eyes turning into happy arcs as he laughed jovially, “We were born from a stubborn daddy, that’s why!”

                Kosuke didn’t even feel pain as his head crashed into the hard floor of his study hard.  I’m getting a migraine…and it isn’t even from banging my head on cold, hard marble either. Father was right when he said I have a hard head…

                That thought made him want to hit his head again, this time harder.

 

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               Ruko gave a tired sigh as she fluttered to and fro, Illusian’s magic soothing instead of intimidating like with most people. Personally, she liked it, but then again, Faeries were close friends of Necromancers. They were around magic all the time. In fact, Necromancer magic was partly responsible for why Celestia was floating in the first place. Of course I’m comfortable with magic…it’s protected me since I was born.

               

                “Ruko-hime! You mustn’t leave Celestia’s borders!”

                “But why?”

                “You are the future Queen! We can not risk you being captured!”

 

                Bad thoughts, Ruko, don’t go there. Shaking her head, she yelped as she nearly flew straight into a tree. “Maybe I should walk…” Rubbing her forehead, she couldn’t help sigh, “I still can’t figure this out…”

               

                “I’m Kohaku, Ruko-sama. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He took her hand and kissed it, a charming smile on his face. “I hope I won’t disappoint you.”

 

                “…How does Ruko-sama…feel for me…?”

                She blinked, at a loss. “I’m very fond of Kohaku, of course. You’ve been my dearest friend and chased away the loneliness I’d always felt before. Why are you asking me such a thing now…?”

                Before she’d realized it, he grabbed her in a tight hug, his face pressed into her neck, his breath warm against her skin. “Ruko-sama…I love you…not as a friend…but as a man…”

                She’d flinched. It wasn’t even voluntary, her body reacting on its own to the display of affection. Kohaku had obviously felt it, pulling away with such a heartbroken look it nearly broke HER heart. But he was too close…much too close… “Kohaku…please look at me…”

                His head was lowered and didn’t move for awhile, but when it did, a kind smile was on his face like always, the half-faerie youth shaking his head in understanding. “It’s OK, Ruko-sama, I understand. I’m sorry for scaring you. Kohaku no baka, ne?” Bopping his head, he broke into a large grin, sliding out of her room. “I’ll go get you some snacks, ne?” Happily, he waved before SKIPPING towards the direction the kitchen was whistling some nonsense tune he’d probably picked up from his father.

               

                Ruko shook her head viciously. I’ve never been able to answer him properly. Why won’t my mind think of something I could say to him? He’s always acted so outrageously and makes me smile, but what’s behind Kohaku’s smile…? Are you really smiling, OK with never having gotten a clear answer, or are you hiding the truth from me? I know there is something behind it…

                “I should be going, daddy.”

                “Alright then; give my best to Ruko too.”

                She hid behind a tree despite herself. I owe him a proper answer…but what would it be? I’m so fond of Kohaku…I can’t think of another way to put it. But what is ‘fond’?

                She wanted to rip at her hair. Something. She couldn’t put it off or brush it aside anymore. It always comes back…always…I tell Kohaku everything…all my problems…but this one. I can’t talk with him about this one, even if he could probably think of a solution for me. He’d hate himself, knowing him, for supposedly putting me through this frustration.

                “Ruko-sama?”

                With a startled yelp, Ruko whirled around, her head still in her hands. When she finally realized they were there she took them away quickly, hiding them behind her head and smiling nervously and trying to ignore his surprised look. “Kohaku…I was worried so I thought I’d come see what kept you.”

                “I decided to stay and talk with papa for awhile,” he smiled happily, tail appearing and wagging happily. Ruko couldn’t help chuckling a little. “I’m happy Ruko-sama came for me!”

                Though she smiled, inside she sighed sadly. I know that. You always are. That’s what makes this so difficult to say. “Ne, Kohaku…”

                “Hmm?” His eyes were bright and smiling, as if nothing in the world could bother him. So very much like his father, but much better at hiding things.

                “Would you mind accompanying me on a trip to Atlantis?” Mentally, Ruko cursed her own mind. “I have some business down there and I think we could both use some fun, ne?”

                Kohaku lit up, turning small. It was so slight she wouldn’t have even noticed if it weren’t for his sudden pause, but he hugged her shoulder tightly, fluttering beside her as she took flight again. “Really, Ruko-sama!?”

                “Hai, hai.”

                Kohaku was absolutely beaming, and not just because of the trip. When I’m small…so you don’t mind it when I’m small…Ruko-sama…? He could feel the shaking of his hand stop, letting go and transforming back in the air beside her. “That sound like a good idea! I’ll bring the wine!”

                Ruko sweat-dropped, brushing some of her loose black hair from her face. “I don’t think that’s necessary…”

                “But I must as a gift!” Kohaku did a loop de loop as they broke through the clouds, laughing joyfully. He was truly happy about something. There was no way it was a cover up. At ease, her amethyst eyes relaxed, watching him laugh from ear to ear like a child. “It’s customary, ne? Oh, and we have leftover cookies so I must wrap them at once then!”

                “Nagi-san will enjoy them, I’m sure,” she chuckled, “He’s a big fan of Kohaku’s cooking like me. It’s the wine he dreads.”

                “Aw~! That’s mean!” His eyes went large and teary, turning small in a puff of smoke and clinging to her hair wailing. “Nagi-san is so mean! That’s my specially blended wine!”

                “Your specially blended wine that makes people feel twice as crappy the next morning,” she teased with a smile, looking to the side laughingly.

                That only made him wail more. “WAH! Ruko-sama~!”

                “Hai, hai. Gomen ne…Kohaku’s wine is twice as good as any other kingdom’s wine though.”

                Big and teary, Kohaku clung to her nose as she landed at Celestia’s gates gracefully, Nahora & Ayu already coming to greet them, bickering the whole way. Eyes big and watery he sniffed, “Honto~?”

                “Hai, hai…now let’s go.”

                Letting her nose go, Kohaku fluttered over and changed to his big form again, a soft smile on his lips as he watched her go break up Nahora and Ayu’s quarrel with a tolerant smile. “…I can hold you in my small form…Ruko-sama…” Shutting his eyes, he sighed to himself, “I can accept that…At least I know I can hold you now without making you uneasy…”

                Turning to look behind her, Ruko smiled amusedly, “Come now, Kohaku, or we’ll get caught in the storm Lord Raikou has been brewing up!”

                Relaxing at her expression, Kohaku bound after them jovially. “Ah…hai!”

 

                “A…Friend?”

                “Un…” Taking her hand gently, he smiled comfortingly as she flinched, eyes understanding as he rubbed the back of her hand gently with his thumb. “Physical displays of affection are common among friends. Do you mind when I do this?”

                “Not…really.” Staring at his hand, Ruko slowly relaxed, the uncomfortable feeling settling down. “But…nothing else for now, alright? It’ll take a while for me to get used to.”

                “Sure, Ruko-sama.” With a smile, he stood up, extending a hand to her. “But as your friend, the first thing I must ask is if you would like to go see Inferno with me. I’m meeting Kosuke-chichi and Saori-chan, but you’ve never been outside Celestia, have you? Let’s go see it together.”

                “Let me give you your freedom…” Is that what you’re saying, Kohaku? Smiling fully for the first long time in a while she laughed, grabbing his extended hand, “Hai!”

 

…I’ll do anything to protect that precious smile…that was kept locked away from the light…Ruko-sama…

 

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