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Quick thoughts
2 October 2000
Man, every time I hear Matchbox Twenty I think about you.
Baby, it's time to come home. . . I can hardly move. If you're gone, baby, you need to come home.
I'll tell you who 'you' is someday. I'm not ready to go there yet. But I will.
- - - - - - - - - -
The Texan finally got back into town. He stopped by my desk for like, a millisecond, today. But he was in the area for something else, so he sort of had to say hi.
Maybe I was wrong about him. Maybe those "dates" weren't really dates at all. Perhaps they were just two friends hanging out. I don't know.
But I like him, he's sweet. And I'm not sure where that line is. The line between pushy/overbearing and showing interest. I want him to know I like him, but I don't want to be like all Eva Braun on his ass.
Mo told me she never realized how much she doesn't flirt until she started hanging out with me. I am a flirting machine. But the bizarre thing about it - I only flirt with people I'm not interested in. If I don't like you, I'm gonna flirt madly with you. If I dig you, it'll take all I have to even make eye contact.
I have issues. Silly, girly issues. But issues nonetheless.
I think this other guy in my office might like me and I'm a little upset about it. He's a super, super cool guy and completely loved in our company. He's one of those guys that you just look at and you think - Damn. He's cool.
But I don't want Cool Guy. I'm not interested in Cool Guy.
This happens to me more often than I'd like. Nice, sweet guys that I just happen to not like that way end up liking me. And then I feel bad and it gets awkward blah blah blah. (Perhaps this phenom is related to my flirting patterns? As sad as this is, I've never connected them before. . . . Sigh.)
But the guys I do like? The Texan, for example? They're never as aggressive and they're harder to read. They confuse me. They weave in and out - pull back, rush forward. And before I can nail it down, I give up.
I've never been one to see things through.
- - - - - - - - - -
One of my best guy friends is going to be in town on Wednesday. I haven't seen him since July, and before that I hadn't seen him since graduation.
He's so amazing, y'all. I've tried to introduce him here before, but I always get ahead of myself and all tangled up in my letters. He's just that great.
So he'll be here on Wednesday, and probably Thursday night, before driving down to MU for Homecoming. I'm nervously excited.
- - - - - - - - - -
Gotta go watch that Bachelor Pageant on FOX. Awful, I know. But I must watch. Besides, maybe the Ohio rep lives close by. . . .