YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS WHEN....
1998-1999

...your motto is "A food and beverage place."
...you play volleyball and ya can't bend your elbows
...your car lot motto is "The world's easiest place to buy a car."
...you have to watch the stewardess' seat belt instructions
...Leise and Denise amuse you more than the baby
...you recognize the parking garage as a barn
...you have a pull my finger sticker on your car
...you mistake Neil Armstrong for Neil Diamond
...you graduated from Poupon U
...your coach had to make sure that you came to the right university once you arrived
...your Canadian phrases include "wichy woo", "we'll scare the beejeezus out of you"
...you drive past the Vancouver Repent Center
...you make the Tigger/tiger connection at age 23
...the babcon is just bacon and the geese and just geese

1999-2000

...you make jewelry out of the contents of your tackle box
...you get elected to go buy the baby laxative
...when Shawm is frickin' hilarious
...the lights go out in Denny's
...you can't get out of a boat without going completely over the dock
...you have to focus on a low center of gravity because you are okay with the up and down but not with this whole side to side action
...your gym doubles as an igloo
...you pass the Oaken Keg and the Polar Bar in Alaska
...you lick the inside of an ice cave
...you swing dance on a glacier
...fill up on the reindeer
...got a black-headed chickadee permantly on your hood
...you think that the hay bales are musk ox
...it takes three patrol cars to remove a moose from the side of the road
...you use the terms karafe and lip service
...you use the phase "who you been kissin' on?'
...you don't know who can claim a T and who can claim a S
...you drank part of the glacier
...Leise has a few bruises from "wrestling"?!?
...Shawn is bowling on the ice
...you stayed off the glacier yet the blue ice is in all your pictures
...you have the airplane's safety procedures memorized
...you hacky in the Anchorage Airport
...you love Cle Elum, WA
...you "SING IT"

2000-2001

...the flight steward likes the kama sutra book on the plane
...you get called mutants from Arcata
...you get asked if volleyball players aren't supposed to be taller
...you miss the jokes because you were pumping
...you hear a whirling motor behind you when you are driving

2001-2002

...you think about how if you were a cow that were one color you'd be really depressed
...you don't know what an eskimo is
...it takes you a minute or two to comprehend that you are in the men's restroom
...your coach that your mid-drift violations extend above the boobs
...you don't know what bra size you are
...we've all got the fever people
...your tape falls off your ankle
...you stink up the whole rear of the plane
...you clear out the United snack mix stock
...your underwear and your shorts up up your ass
...you blow out the rear of your warm-up pants
...you get yourself stuck in the Sponge Bob t-shirt
...Target is the highlight of your trip
...your doctor can't give you stickes because he has a cast on
...your toe is twice its normal size
...the best part of your Seattle trip is getting a Wokka Wokka sticker
...your upstairs section of the restaurant used to be a brothel
...you fall under the van
...you slide into the river on the glacier
...your teammate has a fetish for taking pictures of you releiving yourself in the wilderness
...the Alaskan giftshop clerks were lighin' it up in the back room
...you drive from 11pm to 5 am after a volleyball match
...your coach deserts you in -14 degree weather to get a cup of coffee