Subject: Re: Millenium bug : cure found! 
From: "Paul R." 
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban, rec.humor


Re: Year 2000 compliant software system 
  
   This memo is to announce the development of a new firm-wide software 
system. We are currently building a data center that will contain all
firm data that is a Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as
the "Millennia Year Application Software System" (MYASS). 
  
   Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS
to everyone. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the
month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look
at MYASS. 
  
   As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not 
addressed the networking aspects so currently only one person at a time
can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed after MYASS expands. 
  
   Several people are using the program already and have come to depend 
on it. Just this morning I walked into a subordinate's office and was not 
surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS. 
  
   I've noticed that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat
afraid of MYASS. Just last week, when asked to enter some information
into the program, I had a secretary say to me "I'm a little nervous,
since I've never put anything in MYASS before." I volunteered to help
her through her first time and when we were through she admitted that it
was relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to doing it
again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she
was ready to kiss MYASS. 
  
   I know there are concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS upon 
initial installation, but I am pleased to say the virus has been
eliminated and we were able to save MYASS. In the future, however,
protection will be required prior to entering MYASS. 
  
   We planned this database to encompass all information associated with
the business. So as you begin using the program, feel free to put
anything you want into MYASS. As MYASS grows larger, we envision a time
when it will be commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand
a paper to an employee and say "Here, stick this in MYASS". 
  
   This program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company
during recent OSHA and EPA audits. After requesting certain historical
data the agency representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided
the information. When asked how the numbers could be retrieved so
rapidly our Environmental Manager proudly stated "Simple, I just pulled
them out of MYASS".

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