From: drb@dssvr1.nysif.com (David R. Brandt)
Organization: New York State Insurance Fund
Subject: Tough choice


Headline in 11/17/97 Info World: "More Explorer 4.0 bugs affect 
images, text, and font files".
   Hmm.  So I can either use Netscape or just avoid any websites that 
use images, text or fonts.


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From: Petter_Sandvik@fimug.fi (Petter Sandvik)
Organization: Finnish Macintosh User Group (fiMUG ry)
Subject: Microsoft and Mac

Microsoft ships Internet Explorer 2.0,
bringing ease of use, performance and
excitement to the Macintosh platform.

Microsoft

(quoted from MacAddict, September 1996)


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rec.humor.funny (moderated) #5303
From: reln-rhf@cs.huji.ac.il
Subject: The Road Ahead
Date: Fri Jan 16 17:30:05 MST 1998

"The obvious mathematical breakthrough would be development of an easy way
to factor large prime numbers." -- Bill Gates from "The Road Ahead," p. 265. 


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rec.humor.funny (moderated) #5211
From: laird@cs.byu.edu (Mark J Laird)
Subject:  Light bulb joke
Date: Fri Nov 07 01:20:03 MST 1997

How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a light bulb?

   Four.  One to change it, one to rewire the socket so that Netscape
   light bulbs won't work in it, one to rewrite Sun's light bulbs into
   something unrecognizable (and non-functional), and one to convince the
   justice department that all Microsoft light bulbs are conforming to
   anti-trust laws.


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Article 5072 of rec.humor.funny:
From: ganz@informix.com (Jonathan Ganz)
Subject: What is Windows 95?
Date: Sun, 3 Aug 97 19:30:01 EDT


Windows 95: n.
 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an
 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, 
 written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.

From a Mac friend...


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Article 5085 of rec.humor.funny:
From: derickson@bwbr.com (David A. Erickson)
Subject: Microsoft does it again
Date: Mon, 11 Aug 97 19:30:03 EDT


I was just looking at the August 1, 1997, Network Computing magazine and
found this in the editor's notes for the issue.  He was talking about the
magazines coverage of Microsoft products and how it elicits passionate
responses.  

This is in regards to Microsoft's next Window's release "Naugahyde" which
ships with an office chair at no extra charge.  "Also in the works is a
small seat, dubbed the Microsoft Stool, to be bundled with laptops.  Beta
testers were surprised to find the backless chair at their doorsteps. 
'Then again, it's not the first time we've received a shrink-wrapped stool
sample from Microsoft,' noted one breathless customer."

(Fritz Nelson, fnelson@nwc.com)


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alt.humor.best-of-usenet (moderated) #8171
From: dbowie@mail%.sas.upenn.edu (David Bowie)

Subject: Re: WARNING!!!!! Tomagotchi and Airports !!!!!
From: Michael Voight 
Newsgroups: alt.toys.hi-tech, alt.folklore.urban, alt.toys.virtual-pets,
 alt.religion.kibology, alt.toys.misc, rec.travel.air

And speaking of Tomagotchi:

Microsoft (MSFT) has announced a 54 million dollar lawsuit
against Tomagotchi maker, Bandai.  Microsoft is claiming that
the Tomagotchi (the Japanese electronic pet that's all the rage
with the kids) is an infringment of its intellectual property.

Microsoft spokesperson, Erik Loregard stated "Software that needs
constant, even hourly attention, or else it dies? Sounds like
Windows to me.  This is clearly an infringment on our technology".

The Bandai company spokesman refused to comment on the suit.


------


alt.humor.best-of-usenet (moderated) #8194
From: mstuckaSPAMBAN@math.luc.edu (Mike Stucka)

Subject: Re: UNIX vs NT E-Mail Server 
From: doosh@best.com (Tom Holub)
Newsgroups: comp.infosystems.www.servers.unix

  wrote:
)Does anyone have any good, factual information on tradeoffs between a NT
)and UNIX environment when setting up an E-Mail service?

An NT server can be run by an idiot, and usually is.  


------


alt.humor.best-of-usenet (moderated) #8724
From: Killjoy 
Date: Mon Nov 24 08:32:01 MST 1997

Subject: Re: PalmPilot vs. Etch-a-sketch... 
From: pk@imperial-consulting.com (PK Shiu)
Newsgroups: comp.sys.palmtops.pilot

Hot News from Comdex -- Bill Gates just announced that Microsoft
is entering the Etch-a-sketch market with a much more easy to use
and powerful version -- Draw98 (tm) will improve upon the out dated
Etch-a-sketch user interface by employing a single motor driven
rotating knot. During the demostration an audience member pointed out
that the user can only move the cursor (which by the way, is animated
in the familar Win95 style) in one axis with a single knob.
Bill promptly explained that the ability to switch axis using a touch
sensitive shift key will be added in Draw99 to be released next year.

Just before the demo unit drained the 2 pounds external power pack and
seized to function, Bill managed to demostrate the hot-link feature
where the pictures drawn can be downloaded into Excel 97 (Not 95) via
a propriatary link.  The downloaded graphics can then be imported into
Outlook and mailed to any Exchange based mail server for final viewing
in Internet Explorer.

All audience also received a preview released of the Draw99 API SDK on
six CD's. Bill told the audience that after mastering the 233 API
calls the audience will be able to develop additional software for the
Draw98 platform and promised a wealthy career in the up and coming
corporate uni-axial rendering device programming market.


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rec.humor.funny (moderated) #5230
From: prb@Mcs.Net (Paul Botts)
Subject: Where Microsoft Really Wants to Take Us

There is, at least in the U.S., a new TV ad for Microsoft's Internet
Explorer 4.0 package which uses the musical theme of the "Confutatis
Maledictis" from Mozart's Requiem.
 
"Where do you want to go today?" is the cheery line on the screen.  Meanwhile,
the chorus sings "Confutatis maledictis, flammis acribus addictis," which may
answer the question for some. It translates as,

"The damned and accursed are convicted to flames of hell."

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