Article 7518 of alt.humor.best-of-usenet:
Subject: Re: Carpenter Ants 
From: tombrown@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu ()
Newsgroups: balt.general

In article <19970618160801.MAA10963@ladder02.news.aol.com> forbol@aol.com (Forbol) writes:

>Carpenter ants look like large (~3/8" long) blacks ants, carpenter bees
>look like and are often mistaken for bumble bees.

Except carpenter bees show more butt cleavage.

------

Article 7507 of alt.humor.best-of-usenet:
Subject: Re: $25,000 Bounty/was:Legal Warning to Camille E. Klein 
From: rs-take-this-out-@-clubvb.com (ron schwarz)
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.misc, alt.war.viet-nam, 
 news.admin.net-abuse.email, alt.god.grubor, news.groups, alt.webgod, 
 alt.sage.john-grubor

zeus@alt.net (Zeuber - Father Of Sheep And Chickens) wrote:
>On Sun, 22 Jun 1997 15:52:13 GMT, see@sig.to.reply (Ron Schwarz) wrote:
>>On Sun, 22 Jun 1997 07:33:04 -0600, zeus@alt.net wrote:
>>
>>>Us bounty hunters love guys like you.
>>
>>My mother warned me to stay away from guys who love other guys.
>>
>Just how can you miss the point so bad?

Because my x-ray vision is blocked by your tinfoil hat.

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Article 7519 of alt.humor.best-of-usenet:
Subject: Re: Excuse me ?? where the hell are the urban legends ???? 
From: rtyler@concentric.net (Rick Tyler)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban

On 19 Jun 1997 03:00:58 GMT, card4phone@aol.com (Card4Phone) wrote:

:shessshhh

I think your mate is leaking.

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alt.humor.best-of-usenet (moderated) #8115
From: Tim Gladding 
Date: Fri Oct 03 14:14:51 MDT 1997

Subject: Re: ARTICLE 41580 violence*****
From: cat_priestess@hotmail.com (Hellan Wheels)
Newsgroups: alt.revenge

monunk@sna.com Did commit mayhem on the world with these words:

>
>MARTIN DUNLOP  writes:
>>>Have you ever seen those disgusting shirts and skateboards
>>>made by prime? It shows a picture of an animal getting killed.
>>>One says, "bye, bye puppy", and has a cute dog being shredded
>>>up in a blender.....
>
>> ----CHILDREN ARE BEING ABUSED AND MOLESTED EVERY DAY - DOGS AND
>> KITTIES ARE NICE, BUT LETS GET PRIORITIES IN ORDER
>
>Thanks for the great idea. I am designing a T-shirt with a picture of a
>baby being ground up in a blender with the slogan "Bye-bye Baby".

there's an even worse thing that should be stopped, K9 string
quartets.

Yes, I call for all of you to help stop animal VIOLINS!!!


I'm not stupid, I'm not expendable, and I'm not getting out of this pentacle

------

rec.humor.funny (moderated) #5193 (1 more)
From: R.D.Mee@lboro.ac.uk (R.D.Mee)
Subject: The Laboratory Rabbit
Date: Mon Oct 27 17:30:03 MST 1997

A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he
had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing
of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn
breaking for the first time in his life. "Wow, this is great," he
thought. It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after
squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight lots of other bunny rabbits, all
free and nibbling at the lush grass.

"Hey," he called. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just
 escaped. Are you wild rabbits?"
"Yes. Come and join us," they cried.

Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It
tasted so good. "What else do you wild rabbits do?" he asked.

"Well," one of them said. "You see that field there? It's got
carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them."

This, he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most
succulent carrots. They were wonderful.
Later, he asked them again, "What else do you do?"

"You see that field there? It's got lettuce growing in it. We eat
them as well."

The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later
completely full.  "Is there anything else you guys do?" he asked.
One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly.

"There's one other thing you must try. You see those rabbits there,"
he said, pointing to the far corner of the field. "They're girls. We
shag them. Go and try it."

Well, our friend spent the rest of the morning screwing his little
heart out until, completely knackered, he staggered back over to the
guys.

"That was fantastic," he panted.
"So are you going to live with us then?" one of them asked.
"I'm sorry, I had a great time but I can't."

The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. "Why? We
thought you liked it here."

"I do," our friend replied. "But I must get back to the laboratory.
I'm dying for a cigarette."

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