Article 7556 of alt.humor.best-of-usenet:
From: Bill D 
Date: 9 Jul 1997 16:41:32 +0200

Subject: Spam Ultimate 
From: Jason L Smith 
Newsgroups: alt.gothic

Hi, even though I use a man's name online, I'm really a collective of
between 15 and 20 fabuously attractrive young woman all of whom are
seriously interested in fetish culture, modelling, and hot phone sex, we
also give psychic readings, and have a sure fire method where you can earn
between $15,000 and $900,000, no, make that $100,000 every week,
all in the comfort of your own dirt laden hovel. This is a chain letter,
if you do not send it to at least 45,000, no, make that 75,000 people at
random, you will die -- like in the next 5, no make that 3 minutes.

Although we really don't like phone sex, because that's something which
really classy women who advertise on the internet don't do, we'd be
willing to do it for you. You can call us yourself and experience all the
hot chat you want, for just $5, no, make that $45 every 15 seconds. Or you
could just give us your Visa card number, and we will give you incredibly
hot chat until we finish accessing your account. 

Our web site has our portfolio on it, and if you have any questions about
the photographs, we will be happy to answer them -- remember they may
look like poorly scanned photographs from Playboy, but that was the
artistic "look" that we were trying to achieve. We are not into S&M, but
we know you probably are, so that's OK with us. We know you are probably
very lonely and desperate, but that's fine. Lonely men with poor grooming
habits who don't go out much really turn us on, until we finish accessing
your account.

But our real love is the mystical world. How many times have you said to
yourself, "I'd really love to get ambiguous, unverifiable advice from a
total stranger over the telephone, for only $97, no make that $142 every
5, no make that 3 milliseconds." We guarantee that if you are willing to
believe what we tell you, your life will take a turn in a very surprising
direction.

And of course we have hundreds of opportunities to earn BIG BUCKS at home
in your spare time, for no more of an investment than it would cost to
purchase a Rolls Royce, no make that two Rolls Royce, because our legal
fees have gone way up due to those 84, no make that 111 fraud suits
against us. 

If you are interested in any of these great opportunities call us at
1-800-IM-STUPID. That number, again is 1-800-IM-STUPID, no, make that
1-800-IM-INCREDIBLY-STUPID, and remember, mention your checking account
number, and we'll throw in, absolutely free, 5 minutes of hot phone sex
with a person claiming to be a woman.

Or, check us out on the web at
HTTP://www.lots.of.free.sex/no.really/its.not.a.con.game/honestly for the
absoulute best in racy girlie pics which probably won't get you thrown in
jail anytime within the next fifteen minutes.

For more information about the mystic world of hot pics and conversation
while earning millions of dollars at home, please check us out.

    Source: geocities.com/hanson_c/haha

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