PNN #503 "Cancer"

Real News: Dog Food cure for Cancer

          Maupin, OR.  Today a possible cure for every kind of cancer was found in dog food.  It seems the sauce that is used for flavor has a immunity to cancer in it.  A man named R. Jay Coldcut was very hungry and the only food that was in the house was dog food so he ate it, and when he went to the doctor the doctor said every cancer cell in his body was gone.  This is surely the stupidest thing our writers have come up with,  Oh come on that isn't true is it?.........  It is Wow how spiffy.

Baptist Theory
"RePrint"

         Yes welcome again to the fabulous world of Baptist Theory, and I am your host James Christiansen, today we will be talking about hippies oh yes and it will not be nice either hehehe.  Hippies are nothing but stinky tree hugging freaks and I hate them........WHAT! everyone just hold on for a minute.....................
NO WAY oh great I was just told that the United Hippy front has just become one of the stations sponsors, oh isn't that just peachy.
 

Great Things in American History
The Tooth pick

         Today everyone I think I will discuss the making of the tooth pick.  Let's see the tooth pick was first invented in the late 1700's when a mane named Binky Joann Marie Howard found that when he ate cow hydes that the hair would get stuck in his teeth so he started to use the cows tails as some sort of tooth picker but they were to big so he later used snakes as tooth picks we soon stole the idea and now it is ours  hehehe.
 

Commy Chat w/ fidel Castro

         You know what I will write whatever I want when I want I have a years contract and you cannot do anything about it Henry King, and you know what else you suck!
 

Henry's Thoughts

         Welcome to the very new Henry's Thoughts and I am your writer Henry King.  Today We will talk about how I stole the newsletter from Ron Stevens and Herman Golly.  Actually it was very easy how it was done all I had to do was blackmail Ron Stevens, being that he had the most shares and then I had to just kick Herman Golly out.  But before I did that I had to convince Bobot Lee Pinchy to come over to the Henry Side of the force.  And that is all.

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